Finding the Way
by Professor Black 04
Summary: Voldemort has finally been vanquished by Harry Potter, but for Sarah Black Malfoy, even though their side won, her life was left in shambles. Her baby is dead, Snape and Draco have been arrested and her path seems uncertain. She must find the strength to find her own way in the world. Fourth in a series. Features Snape, Draco, Harry, George.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding the Way**

 _Synopsis_ : Voldemort has finally been vanquished by Harry Potter, but for Sarah Black Malfoy, even though their side won, her life was left in shambles. Her baby is dead, Snape and Draco have been arrested and her path seems uncertain. She must find the strength to find her own way in the world. Fourth in a series. Features Snape, Draco, Harry, George.

 _Previously_ : This is the fourth story in a series. This story is a parallel story to _Love at Your Darkest_ (which is a story where Voldemort wins for a time). The first story in the series is _And the Greatest of these is Love_ followed by _Growing Up_ and _Of Darkness and Light._ Checkout those stories first, but a brief history: Snape had a sister, who was sorted into Gryffindor and ended up marrying Sirius Black, which estranged the two siblings. Years later upon his sister's death, he took guardianship of and then adopted his niece, Sarah Black. However, the adoption was a secret and people thought Snape took guardianship of her because he had made the unbreakable vow to his sister to do so. Upon Voldemort's return, he took an interest in the best friend of Harry Potter due to her pure-blood status (as a Black and Prince) and her magical ability, putting Sarah in a precarious position. He threatened her loved ones if she didn't comply and Sarah married long time friend and former love Draco Malfoy to try to ease the pressure off of her and put her in the position to spy for Harry. After her marriage, Voldemort's interest turned more sinister as he became determined to take her for himself. This story begins at the last part of the battle at Hogwarts. Fred is dead. Snape is recovering from his wounds. Harry is presumed dead. Sarah made her stand publicly against Voldemort and now she is fighting Bellatrix. Thanks all who found this story. Hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter One: Winning but Losing**

Sarah Black Malfoy saw Bellatrix Lestrange coming for her, with fierceness and determination. Sarah defied her master publicly, tried to make a fool out of him and Bella was out for blood.

 _Her blood_.

"Sarah" Hermione squealed, seeing Bella's wrath. Ginny ran to her side as well as they reached the Great Hall.

"I can't fight her on my own" she gasped, running. "She's going to kill me"

"We'll help"

Bellatrix was on a mission, determined, manic almost in her frenzy- her fury to get at her.

One of her spells almost knocked her off balanced. Even with Hermione and Ginny focusing on deflecting, Sarah couldn't cast spells to disable her. She saw Voldemort fighting with her professors, but he had an eye on her. She could feel it. He always had his eye on her.

Bellatrix cast a stunning spell that hit Ginny and then Hermione so it was just the two of them.

"That's better, little one. Let's see what you can do on your own without your friends to help you.

They engaged in battle- casting, deflecting, the rate of their spells was exhausting. She took another breath, trying to keep up with Bellatrix, when a spell hit her hard in her belly, knocking the wind out of her.

It seemed as if the whole battle paused at her scream of her horror. Bellatrix was laughing- the same laughter she had when she killed Sirius. The same laughter she had when she killed Fred.

The cramps in her stomach intensified.

Bellatrix had cursed her unborn child.

Her son. Draco's son.

It was horrific, her worst nightmare to lose Draco's child...her sweet, innocent son who had now become the latest causality of this war...of the darkness...of the mania of this woman.

She could feel her strength draining. Bellatrix continued laughing as Sarah struggled to maintain her control of her wand and stay upright.

And in that split moment, Sarah had a peace. She knew her course. For all her talk earlier, she knew what she had to do...she knew it deep down in her soul.

" _You have to mean it, Sarah. Go on."_

She stood there with one hand on her belly, the other tightly on her wand. And this time instead of hearing Snape's voice guiding her, she heard his voice...Voldemort's voice coaching her, instructing her, becoming her teacher.

" _Wield your power. And it will come like that"_

All those times of him whispering in her ear, teaching her...those times that she pretended to block out his words, they were now coming back full force.

" _You have to mean it Sarah. Go on."_

And she did mean it. She meant it with her whole heart. She was finishing this now- finishing Bellatrix's reign of terror. So many lives destroyed by her hands, it was time for Bellatrix's life to end. Now.

" _Wield your power. And it will come like that"_

And with a fierceness and determination that rivaled the most talented wizards, she pointed her wand at Bellatrix, " _Avada Kedavra"_

"No!" Voldemort yelled and tried to cast a spell to deflect, but he was too late. Never expecting her to try to kill her, Bellatrix was caught off guard and fell to a heap on the floor at her feet, the life gone from her.

Voldemort's scream of rage terrified her, yet she barely had time to process it before she fell onto a onto the floor in pain—not from a curse Voldemort cast, but Bellatrix's curse was still doing its work within her...and the dark magic she performed drained the last bit of energy she had left.

And with the battle still raging around her, her world became dark.

* * *

When she woke up again, she was unsure of how long she had been out, but she saw Voldemort stun her professors and head towards her with a fury.

But before he could get to her, to her amazement, a spell blocked his path to her.

"You will never touch her again!" Harry stepped out in front of him, "Do you understand me?"

The whole room stopped fighting and turned in shock to witness what was happening between Harry and Voldemort.

"You were supposed to be dead" Voldemort said.

"Well, I'm not" Harry said and turned to look around to the murmurings surrounding him, "It's between him and me. I don't want anyone else to help. It has to be me"

"Harry" Sarah whimpered.

"She's dying, Potter" Voldemort said, his eyes on her, "Maybe not now, but before the night is over. I am perhaps the only person on this earth who can save her- who is skilled enough to save her"

"I'm fine, Harry" she said, but even then she felt the blood seep through her clothes. She grimaced as she practically convulsed in pain. "Just finish him"

Voldemort laughed, "You really think _he_ knows more magic than I do? Than _I,_ Lord Voldemort, who has performed magic that your precious Dumbledore never dreamed of"

"He dreamed of it, alright" Harry said, "but he knew more than you, he knew not to do it"

"Weakness!" Voldemort yelled, "That's all it was"

"No, he was stronger than you, a better wizard, a better man"

"Then why was it I who brought about the death of Albus Dumbledore?"

"You see you thought you did" Harry arched his head, "but you didn't have him killed. He chose his own way of dying, months before he died. He chose the manner of his death and he arranged it with the man you thought was your servant"

"Is this about Snape again?" Voldemort practically snorted, "he may have loved _her_ " he pointed his wand in Sarah's direction, "I know not. I can believe he took measures to protect her, but there was no way he wasn't mine. He had her fooled. He had you fooled. "

"I was never yours!" A voice thundered throughout the hall as a restored Snape strode in, followed by Draco.

"Sarah!" Draco yelled when he saw her on the ground, surrounded by her blood.

Snape looked over to Sarah was lying, his face registering shock then horror. He ran to her, knelt beside her, and picked her up in his arms, holding her against him. "What did you do?" he demanded of Voldemort, his eyes not hiding his anger.

"It was Bella" Voldemort glanced over to him. "She cursed her child"

Draco crouched down next to them his hand on her shoulder.

"Where is she?" Snape said, angrily.

Voldemort gestured her head, "Your daughter has excelled in the dark arts, Severus. Killed her outright. Her first try"

"I had to, Dad" Sarah whimpered against him.

"It's alright" Severus hushed her. He picked her up. "Go ahead and finish it, Potter"

"I'm the only one who can save her, Severus" Voldemort said, "Help me kill Potter now and I'll save her life. Otherwise, when I win, I'll let her die"

Severus shook his head at him, "You made a promise before to save the woman I loved. You didn't keep that promise. You killed her and ever since then, I made a promise to myself to do whatever it takes to bring about your downfall. Now, excuse me, _I_ have to go save my daughter's life. And rest assured, I will succeed"

Narcissa came up beside him, "I'll help Sev" she said, quietly.

"Quickly, Narcissa" Severus said, "She's losing a lot of blood"

Snape rushed her down the length of the Great Hall.

"I want to know what is happening!" she exclaimed, but then her head got all woozy from the blood loss and she had trouble holding it up. "Oh Merlin, my head feels so heavy"

"Hush, child" Snape said, taking his hand and pinned her head against his chest, "Rest your head against me"

"How much blood am I losing?"

"A lot" Snape said grimly, "Don't worry"

"I'm not" she said, "I have you"

He eased her down in the bed and propped up a pillow up. "Draco, come hold her hand"

Draco came to her side, sat on the bed with her, and reached for her hand, "Is that baby alright?" he asked, worried.

Severus swiped his wand over Sarah's stomach.

"I'm sorry, Draco" Sarah whispered, her throat dry, "I never should have risked our child's life by standing up to him"

Draco's eyes filled with tears but he didn't respond.

"Draco"

"We'll talk about that later" Severus said, firmly, "Right now, I need to talk to you"

"What is it, Dad?" she asked, grimacing as more pain hurt, "Oh, Merlin, this hurts..."

"The baby is..." Severus paused at her look. She knew already.

"I know" Sarah's eyes filled with tears, "I knew it right away"

"Now, we have to focus on saving your life" Severus said as she twisted against the pain.

"What is happening?"

"I'm not sure" Severus said, gravely, "The diagnostic charm indicates that the baby is very close to coming, but also indicates that your body has done nothing to get ready for that to happen" he chose his words carefully, trying to explain in a way that wouldn't scare her or shock her.

"She isn't dilated?" Narcissa asked, her mouth opening.

"Not according to the charm"

"Could the charm be wrong?" Sarah squeezed Draco's hand as the pain became unbearable, "bloody hell, this hurts"

"There is also considerable damage" Severus said, "Let's make sure the charm isn't wrong"

"Should we call the mediwitches?" Narcissa asked him, discreetly.

"This is magic of the darkest kind, Narcissa" Snape said, reaching for a sheet to wrap around Sarah to provide her some modesty, "do you believe they know more about dark magic then we do?"

"No" she said, slowly.

"Have they studied for years the dark arts?" he demanded. "Or healing magic to save ones from various dark spells that he has inflicted on others?"

"We need him then" she said, honestly. "he knows more than all of us combined"

"He is probably dead already" Severus said. "we must do this ourselves. Clear your mind, Sarah"

"What?" she asked him, panicked about what he was going to do as he shifted the sheet.

"Clear your mind" He told her firmly, "Now"

She struggled to clear her mind and block out what was happening next. Draco looked over curiously and then averted his eyes again, "Is it normal to be bleeding that much?"

"No" Snape said, his voice short, his brow furrowed in concentration. "The charm was right"

"Are you sure?" Narcissa asked.

"Yes" Snape grunted, "Draco, go get Potter"

"Potter?" Draco asked, aghast. "What can he do?"

"Not him!" Snape snapped, "We need the wand"

"The wand, Dad?" Sarah asked, "Oh Merlin" she gasped, "I have to push. The baby is right there"

"No!" Snape reached to grip her arm, "Do not push. Draco, hurry!"

"What wand?" Draco asked, rising immediately.

"The Elder Wand" Snape said, "We need the elder wand"

"Dad!" Sarah screamed. "Dad, help!"

Severus gathered her in his arms, "Hang on, sweetheart, it's going to be fine. I promise" he murmured to her.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" She whimpered. "I wanted to die while he was living, but now he is gone, I don't want to die. I want...I want so much. I'm so scared. I'm going to die, aren't I?" she began to shake uncontrollably.

"No, no, no" Severus soothed, "I'm not going to let you die. I promise" He looked at Narcissa, "Put her to sleep, Cissy"

The shaking turned into full out convulsions and she clung to Severus. "Dad!" she screamed out again, against the unbearable pain that was starting to tear through her.

"Oh Merlin, she is seizing!" Snape exclaimed, "Put her to sleep now!"

Suddenly, she knew no more.

* * *

"What is happening?" Harry rushed through the door with Draco followed by Hermione and Ron.

"I need the wand, Potter" Snape said, outstretching his hand, "It's our only hope"

Harry immediately handed him the wand.

"Is he gone?" Snape looked up for a moment.

"Yes"

"Good" Snape nodded, "You should go. This is going to get messy"

Hermione began to pull a shaken Ron out.

"I can't go" Draco said.

"Dragon, you need to go" Narcissa affirmed Severus's words.

"I can't"

"Let him stay" Severus said, "it's his wife and child"

"What if the wand doesn't obey your command, Professor Snape?" Harry asked, quietly.

"Then I suppose you'll have to help" Snape said, his voice grim. "Stand by her head and wait for me to tell you what to do"

Harry nodded and Draco and him moved quickly by her side.

"She's so cold" Harry exclaimed as he reached for her hand, "What is happening?"

"I don't know" Severus said.

"This is not good" Narcissa exclaimed after swiping her wand several times.

"I know" Severus's face was taunt.

"What should we do?" Draco asked. "Is that the...?" his face crumpled.

"I'm sorry, Draco" Severus said as he handed Narcissa the child. "Merlin help us" Sev said, under his breath, "The wand...it doesn't respond to me properly. Potter, come here"

"Sev" Narcissa came back, "even if you save her life, she will never be able to have children again"

"She wants to have children" Harry said, quietly, "I know she does"

Severus glanced at Draco and then Harry. "There is a spell that could work, but it's...it's..." he struggled.

"Dark Magic?" Harry shook his head, "No, we have to be different. She would want us to be different. Otherwise, what did he die for?"

"Draco?" Severus asked, quietly. "She is your wife"

Draco looked torn, "Potter is right. No dark magic. Do what you can"

"Then, Harry, you have to help. Maybe with the wand we can repair and reverse some of this" Severus said.

"Don't worry about that, Uncle Sev" Draco said, his voice cracking, "Just save her life"

* * *

Later that night, Draco sat on the steps amongst the ruins, alone.

"It's cold out here" Hermione said, coming to sit behind him.

"Yeah, such a different night than last night" Ron said, sitting next to her, her arm around her.

"Drink this" Harry said, handing him some water, sitting down on the step next to him. Draco took a sip and sat it down.

"Thanks" he buried his head in his hands again.

"I was thinking" Harry rubbed his hands on his pants, "we should bury the baby"

"Mother said she would take care of it" Draco mumbled.

"But..." Harry took a breath, "Sarah would want us to say a few words. She would want to make it special"

"She loved that baby" Hermione said, softly, "He needs a name"

Draco began to cry, brokenly. "I can't" he sobbed.

Harry put an awkward hand on his back. "I know, mate, but she would want that"

"Why hasn't she woken up?" Draco looked over at him through his tears, trying to compose himself, embarrassed that he was so emotional, "Snape says he doesn't know if she will"

"The curse affected her. We are lucky she is still alive" Hermione said, "I have to believe she will wake up, Draco"

"Sarah is a fighter" Ron nodded, trying to appear confident, "The best there is. She'll wake"

"They are going to arrest me" Draco said, burying his face again, "They are already eying Snape. It's only Lupin and Weasley's dad that is intervening. Everyone with the mark will be taken to trial. I could end up in Azkaban and what would happen to her?"

"We are her friends" Harry said, seriously, "We will take care of her. But we'll testify. We'll testify about how you helped us. And how you helped Sarah. You won't go to Azkaban"

"Harry's right" Hermione said."They won't send you to Azkaban"

"No way" Ron agreed.

They fell silent before Harry said, quietly, "Orion. It has the tradition of Black names and it was Sirius's middle name. She would love that"

"And Draco as a middle name" Hermione added. "Also a family tradition"

"Do you really think she would want to name our son after me?" Draco asked, surprised.

"Absolutely" Harry nodded, "She has always thought the best of you. You should know that"

"Orion Draco Malfoy" Draco said, looking over it him and then back at Ron and Hermione, "It's perfect. Thank you"

"You're welcome" Harry responded. They spent the next hour in silence, staring out at the starry night.

* * *

" _Sarah. Your father and I would like to talk with you"_

 _She looked up to see her mum and dad sit beside her on the bench._

" _Isn't he beautiful?" she asked, going back to staring at her son in the cradle, rocking him slightly with her hand, keeping a steady rhythm. "Yes, you are, the most beautiful baby boy in the world" she cooed at her son._

 _The baby rewarded her efforts with a smile._

" _He just smiled" Sarah said, her eyes shining, "Did you see that?"_

" _I did" Grace said, "he loves his mama"_

" _James thinks he likes like you, Paddy" Sirius said, proudly. "He's our first grandchild"_

" _Funny, I think he has Draco's coloring" Sarah murmured, "Does Uncle Prongs really think he look like me? Are you sure he just doesn't want him to look like Draco?"_

" _He's perfect no matter who he looks like, Sarah" her mother looked unsure and gave her father a pointed look that was not missed by Sarah._

 _She looked over at her mum, wearily, "Then what is the problem?"_

" _It's time, love" Grace said, gently._

" _No" she shook her head, swiftly, "I don't want it to be time"_

" _You have been here too long" Sirius said, "if you remain here any longer..."_

" _It hasn't felt like long..."_

" _I know, sweetheart" Sirius said, "but still...it's time for you to go back"_

" _He's my son" Sarah's voice broke, "I can't leave him here"_

" _We'll take care of him" Grace said, "the four of us together. He won't be alone. I promise, Sarah Grace. But you still have your life to live...and the more you stay here, the more you become attached"_

" _What does Dumbledore say?"_

" _He told us to talk to you" Sirius said._

" _What does Fred say?"_

" _Fred says that he will help us take care of him for you. Says he has lots of experience with babies between Ron and Ginny"_

" _Really?" she asked. "He wants me to go back"_

" _Yes, he risked his life for you for a reason. He wants you to have your future. He loves you, Sarah" Grace said, gently, "We will all love this baby for you. Trust us. But you have your life to live"_

" _But without the baby, I don't know that I want to, mum" she said, her heart heavy._

" _Sweet girl" Sirius reached out to stroke her hair, "your life can still be beautiful. We never wanted this for you. It's not your time now"_

" _How do you know?" she demanded._

" _We just know, love" Grace retorted. "There are people that need you"_

" _Who needs me?"_

" _Sev for one" Grace said, "You still have a message to give him from Lily and I. And you should see him, love. He is devastated at the thought of losing you."_

 _Sarah bit her lip. "Yes" she couldn't deny that. "But he's the only one"_

" _Draco too" Sirius added, "I never liked the bloke, but he needs you too"_

" _And Harry" Grace added, "he needs his best friend"_

" _He has Ron and Hermione and Ginny" Sarah's voice cracked._

" _But he needs you" Grace told her, gently. "You have so much to live for. You just need to choose to do it"_

" _What if my life turns out horrible?" Sarah's brow furrowed in worry. "What if I go back and nothing is ever right again?"_

" _It won't be horrible" Sirius soothed._

" _How do you know?" Sarah asked._

" _Because you, our daughter" Grace said, "Are the bravest, smartest, sweetest, strongest girl we know. And even if your life is broken now, you can build it back up. You have so much to do- so much to accomplish. He saw that in you, but now that Voldemort is gone, you can do all those things for the light. You are going to do great things"_

" _You are biased" Sarah told her._

" _Not so" Sirius said. "Be brave, Paddy. Whatever your life throws at you, be brave. Be bold."_

 _She took another reluctant look at her son, "I think I should name him" she picked him up holding him tight against her. She thought for a few minutes and then she knew._

" _Orion Draco Malfoy" she sniffled. "I love you"_

" _Orion after me?" Sirius asked, smiling._

 _She snuggled her head against her son, "Yes, of course. Nobody better to name this baby after than his grandfather and father"_

 _She breathed in the baby's scent before handing him to her mother, "Take care of him please"_

" _We will" Sirius nodded._

" _Tell Aunt Lily and Uncle James that I love them and Fred that I love him too and I will always remember him"_

" _They all know that"_

" _Good" she reached to rub the baby's head. "You will always be with me" she told her son, "in my heart always. I promise you that"_

 _And with a final goodbye, she stood and left them._

* * *

Her body felt so heavy, so leaden. Every part of her body ached and she was so cold. She never thought she would be warm again. She groaned and struggled to open her eyes. She tried to clear her throat to say something.

"Sarah!"

"Neville?" Sarah coughed, "Can I have water?"

"Sure!" He smiled a wide smile at her, "Let's sit you up. I should tell the mediwitch on duty and Harry wants me to floo call him"

"Harry?" she asked, weakly.

"We have been taking turns around the clock the last month...Hermione, Ron, George, Percy, Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Luna, Harry, Lupin, Andromeda, myself. He didn't want you alone at all"

"Month?" Sarah's mind struggled to keep up, "I've been asleep for a month"

Neville shifted, "I should look Harry explain. He wants to see you straight off"

"Wait" Sarah drank the water he handed her, trying to ease her sore throat, "Where is Snape? Draco?"

"Harry wants to see you straight away" Neville told her, patting her arm, "I'll go get him. It's so good to see you again. I knew you would wake up! I just knew it!" He ran off leaving Sarah to lay her head back on the headboard. She looked around. She was at Snape Manor...but with no Snape.

A few minutes later, Harry came back in, his hair wild.

"Sarah" Harry's grin was huge, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore and tired" she admitted.

"The mediwitch is on her way back" he sat down next to her on her bed, "She was on break. We have been giving you potions to make you stronger when you did wake, but they said you would still be sore"

"Well, I am" Sarah said, "but it's not too awful. You didn't have to rush over here"

"Of course I did" Harry said, "It's so good to see you"

She managed a smiled and slowly raised her hand to pat down his hair, "Your hair is a mess"

"Yeah, well" Harry gave her a goofy grin, "I was in the middle of something"

She eyed him, "Something naughty?" she asked, knowingly.

"Now, Sarah Grace" Harry scolded.

"You missed me" she murmured.

"I did. We all did. Hermione and Ron too...things just aren't the same without you" he said, "What do you remember?"

She thought back as Harry reached for her hand, threading it through his, "I remember the night of the last battle. Fred dying. You dying. Bellatrix cursing me. You coming back. Snape trying to save me" she paused, "Voldemort is dead"

"Yes, he is" Harry squeezed her hand, "And he is never going to hurt you again"

She bit her lip as her eyes welled up, "I lost my baby"

"Yes" Harry's voice was gentle, "We buried him next to your mother. I'll take you there when you feel up to it"

"I'd like that" she swallowed hard. "Harry, where is Snape? I'd like to see him"

"There is no easy way to tell you this" Harry said, running his hand through his hair, trying to pat it down, "Snape has been arrested"

"Arrested?" Sarah asked, aghast.

"All the ones with the dark mark will have a trial" Harry said, "his defense looks good though. Andromeda Tonks is defending him"

"I want to see him" Sarah said.

"I'm not sure" Harry shifted, "I can tell him...when you are feeling better"

"But..."

"He doesn't want you involved, but Andromeda thinks you will be called to testify if you woke and since you did, then you probably will be"

"When is his trial set?"

"The ministry is a little backed up" Harry said, "a few weeks maybe...maybe a few months at the most"

"And he is in Azkaban?" Sarah asked, horrified.

"No, he is just in a secure location. I made sure he wasn't put in Azkaban"

"And Draco?"

"Sarah" Harry looked uncomfortable, "About Draco...the ministry..."

"Has he been arrested too?" Sarah interrupted.

"Yes, but he was released under Narcissa's custody to await his trial"

"Okay" she said slowly, "Can I see Draco?"

"I don't know" he said, honestly, "Things are complicated"

"What does that mean?"

"The ministry examined your marriage in the past few weeks. They believe you were coerced in marrying him and they took it upon themselves to annul it"

"They did what?" Sarah choked and Harry handed her more water, "They can't just do that"

Harry squirmed and then looked into her eyes, "Draco had the opportunity to protest it, but he chose not to"

"He allowed our marriage to be annulled?" Sarah's voice was small.

"Yes"

"Why?"

"I think you'll have to ask him" Harry said, gently.

Her heart was shattered. Her son dead. Snape and Draco arrested. Her marriage annulled.

They had won, but she very much felt like they had lost.

All the sudden, she just wanted to sleep again. "I'm really shattered"

"You should rest" Harry said, "The mediwitch will be here in a few minutes. Rest until she comes"

He helped her lay back down and she turned on her side. He moved to the chair next to her bed. "Harry?"

"Yeah, Sarah?"

"Why does it feel like we lost?"

Harry reached to stroke her hair, "We'll figure this all out. Focus on getting better first"

"I want Snape" her lip trembled and tears spilled over.

"I know"

She sniffed hard, "Would it too much trouble for you to give me a hug?"

"No trouble at all" Harry said, moving to her side again, and gathering her up in his arms, rocking her against him as she began to cry, "It will work out. You'll see. I promise"

She didn't respond, because she didn't know how things could ever be right again.

 **A/N:** Please review! And follow...and don't forget to check out the parallel fic, _Love at Your Darkest_. Thanks!


	2. The Future

**Finding the Way Chapter 2: The Future**

Sarah leaned over the sink in her lavatory, trying to steady herself.

"If you are too tired to do this" Harry said, leaning on the doorpost, "I can make excuses for you with Kingsley"

"Who would have thought taking a shower and getting dressed would be so exhausting?" She shivered. "Is it cold in here?"

"No, but you are chilled" Harry went to her side, "Let's dry your hair"

"I can do it" she said, reaching for her wand. But when she flicked her wand, nothing happened. She threw it back down, "I can't even do a simple spell. I've become a squib!" she cried.

"Sarah" Harry soothed, "Let me" He pulled out his wand and dried her hair for her. Putting his wand back into his pocket, he gripped her and then turned her by the arms, "The mediwitches think that your magical levels will return soon with the proper training. You'll be just as strong and talented as before"

"I could cast spells wandlessly. I could cast nonverbal spells. I stood up to the darkest wizard of all time, who by the way, thought I had an amazing ability. And now what? _Nothing!_ I don't even know how to function without magic. I don't want to!"

"It's normal for you to be upset about it. It is a part of who you are"

"Look at me. I look horrid" Sarah met his eyes, "Bellatrix killed my child. My marriage is over. Snape still refuses to see me for Merlin knows what reason. And I can't even perform simple tasks without feeling like I need to take a three hour rest"

"It will be better. Talk to Kingsley"

"He just wants to interrogate me about Snape and Draco"

"I don't think that is all he wants" Harry said, quietly, "But all the same, I am glad Andromeda is meeting us there"

"Was that Snape's idea?"

"Of course" Harry nodded.

"He won't talk to me, but he is still his overbearing self from a distance"

"Merlin, Bellatrix's curse has made you moody" Harry muttered.

"You would be moody too" she shot back. "If you lost your child and woke up to be completely altered"

"I suppose you are right" Harry said, slowly. "Come on now. We best not keep Kingsley and the ministry waiting"

"No, we best not" Sarah said, dryly.

"You are sounding more like Snape every day" Harry took her arm and led her away from her room and down the stairs of Snape Manor.

She sighed, turning to him wearily, "Do I at least look alright?" she asked, flipping out the ends of her hair.

"You look beautiful, Sarah" Harry reassured you. "Not the least like you have gone through such a terrible ordeal"

"And the dress?" she frowned, worried, "Should I call Hermione and ask her if it is appropriate?" She wore a navy blue and white polka-dot dress that fell to just below her knees. It had to be altered due to her weight loss.

"I think it is fine" Harry said.

"I don't look sickly, do I?"

"No"

"Maybe I should change" Sarah said, biting her lip.

He took her arm again, "There is no time to change. Let's go"

* * *

Sarah clicked her heel against the marble floor of the ministry as they sat on the bench outside the Minister's office, waiting for Kingsley.

Harry put a hand on her knee to stop her from making so much noise. "Are you nervous?" he asked.

"Kind of" she admitted. "I did marry into the Malfoy family and cavort with Death Eaters. And it is now widely known that Voldemort had a... _thing_...for me"

"But you stood up to him at the last battle" Harry said, his voice calm, "Remember? Kingsley was right behind you. He saw everything"

"Yes" she shifted again as Andromeda approached.

"Sarah"

"Andi" she rose to greet her cousin, "thank you for coming"

"Of course. We aren't going to let the ministry harasses you, Sarah. Not after all you have been through"

"Harry" she turned to her friend, who was still sitting on the bench, watching her, "do you mind if I talk to Andromeda for a moment alone?"

"Sure" Harry rose, "I'll just get some more coffee"

"Since when did you start drinking so much coffee?" Sarah asked.

"Since I had to stay by your bedside all hours of the night" he replied, his voice low. "I haven't gotten much sleep in the past few weeks either"

She immediately felt horrid for your attitude, "I'm sorry, Harry. You have been such a good friend to me and I've just been horrid today. I don't mean to be so cranky"

"It's understandable" Harry nodded, "But we have all been through it, you know? I know probably you and I the most of all. You aren't alone"

"I know" She took a breath and nodded.

"See you in a bit" he walked away, his coffee mug in his hand.

"What is it Sarah?" Andromeda asked after Harry was out of hearing distance. She looked so extraordinarily like Bellatrix that Sarah had to keep reminding herself who she was looking at.

"I have to see Snape. Or Draco. Both of them, actually. They can't keep freezing me out, Andi"

"I don't think Severus is trying to freeze you out" Andi said gently, "He is concerned that the ministry will use you and your relationship with him for their benefit and your harm. You were privy to many of his deceptions"

She shifted, biting her lip, "I just...this is too hard to sort through without him, you know?"

"I know" Andromeda patted her arm, "Let's see what the ministry wants from you and we'll go from there"

"Very well" Sarah nodded as Harry came back to them and they continued to wait.

* * *

"Thank you for waiting. Things are, of course, quite hectic" Kingsley shook all of their hands, "Sarah, do you know Gawain Robards?"

"No, I do not, Minister" Sarah reached out to shake his hand as well, "But Harry has mentioned him before. Hello, Mr. Robards"

"Miss Black" he nodded.

"About that" Sarah gave them all a small smile at they sat across from Kingsley, "I can't start this meeting without clearing something up first."

"What do you need to clear up?" Kingsley asked.

"I understand while I was ill that the ministry decided to take it upon themselves to void my marriage to Draco Malfoy. I was not coerced into marrying Draco, and if perhaps you all have done your research thoroughly, you would have known that he had been my long time off and on again boyfriend"

"We were aware of your attachment to Mr. Malfoy" Kingsley nodded, "But you cannot tell me there was no pressure to marry him...pressure from dark forces?"

She shifted, "I suppose" she conceded.

"Would you have married Draco at that moment in time without those pressures?" Kingsley pressed.

She sighed, "No"

"In fact, you were secretly engaged to Fred Weasley at the time, were you not?"

"Yes"

"And were your friends and family being threatened?

"Yes"

"Which is why you chose to marry Malfoy to ease the pressure off your loved ones, correct?"

She frowned and fiddled with the hem of her dress, "I suppose"

"Then, we were well within our rights to void the marriage" his voice was no-nonsense. "We gave Mr. Malfoy plenty of opportunity to protest our actions and he did not"

She twisted the her rings that she hadn't had the heart to remove, chewing on her lip as she stared at them. Harry reached out and touched her knee, discreetly. She forced herself to look up again.

"Still, I would like to testify still on both Draco and Snape's behalf. I know Harry will as well, but I think my insight would be beneficial" Sarah said. "Do we know when the trial will be?"

"Soon" Kingsley said, vaguely.

"When is soon?" Sarah pressed, still twisting her rings.

"Soon" Kingsley repeated, "For what it is worth, I believe that they will be cleared"

"If that is the case, then why is Snape in prison and Draco under house arrest?"

"The public deserves us to go through the proper protocols for all those with the dark mark, since in the First War many were cleared that were undeserving"

"And yet, Lucius Malfoy has wormed his way out of this again? He isn't even in prison, yet Snape is?

"There is strong evidence that puts his status as Death Eater under question"

"That is ridiculous" Sarah grunted. "What evidence?"

"That is not your concern" Kingsley said. "He has made a deal with the ministry"

"And Snape hasn't?"

"No"

"Draco?"

"No" Kingsley sighed, "I do believe, Sarah, that both of them will be cleared at their trial"

"But there is a chance that they will not?"

"I suppose" he acknowledged."It is widely known that Snape killed Dumbledore and Draco was complacent in that act"

"Yet you have Harry's memories and now my own that supports that Snape's actions were more of an assisted suicide...one that Dumbledore schemed up to help the Order"

"That all will be brought up at trial, Sarah" Andi interjected. "His case is strong. Draco's too"

"And if Snape is cleared, he will be able to resume his life without consequence, including his job at Hogwarts?" she pressed, her voice even.

"Indeed" Kingsley said, with a glance at Andromeda. "But I haven't called you here today to talk about Snape or Malfoy, actually"

"Then, why am I here?" she smoothed down the wrinkles in her dress.

He gestured to Robards who plucked a handful of thick files down in front of her.

"What are these?" she began to shift through them.

"Death Eaters still at large. As you can see, after their leader's demise, many of them went into hiding before we could capture them"

"I thought you captured a majority" she said, quietly.

"We captured many, but not all. We know if they remain at large, they will pose a threat to us...eventually, they will act again"

"I see" Sarah glanced at Harry, who still remained quiet. "I don't see what I have to do with this"

"Potter is starting the auror academy this fall. Did you know?" Kingsley asked.

She turned to him, shocked, "No, he didn't mention that"

"And Weasley...both Ron and George" Robards offered.

"Harry and Ron haven't finished their seventh year at Hogwarts"

"We have made an exception" Kingsley stated, "And we want you to join them"

She shook her head, swiftly. "I can barely cast a spell to dry my hair. I can't go to the auror academy" her face flushed as she shivered in the cold of the room.

"We have found you a program" Robards continued, "The best healers in Switzerland. Weasley would join you to try to improve the hearing in his cast off ear"

"Healers? Switzerland?" she shifted again, uncomfortably.

"They have assured us after reviewing your case that they can get your magical levels up to snuff in no time" Kingsley said. "A month or two. And then you would start the auror academy yourself"

She turned to Andi, "Did you know about this?"

She shook her head, "No"

"Harry?"

"Yes and I think you should consider it" Harry said, quietly.

"But I have never mentioned the auror academy" she said, "my goals have always been elsewhere"

"Minerva has told us" Robards said, "but you are truly one of the most talented witches I have seen for a long time. Minerva and your other professors have confirmed it. We need you at the Auror office"

"You'll have Harry. He's the savior. I'm just the woman Voldemort wanted to..." she paused and folded her arms against herself. "Is this because I was on the inside for a while?"

"You understand how a Death Eater thinks" Kingsley said.

"No, I don't" Sarah retorted, adamantly.

"Lucius testified to how much time you spent with he who must not be named..."

"You mean Voldemort?" Sarah shot back. "Yes, I spent time with him"

"He talked to you in those times"

"Yes, but it wasn't about strategy often...more about just normal things"

"Normal things?" Robards asked.

"Like literature and history and art...and occasionally potions and spell. Alot of times he just wanted someone to keep him company while he read"

"Fascinating" Robards said.

"Regardless, you have insight that none of us else have. You were raised by one of his followers...even if that one had turned, he was still part of their workings. And you married one"

"Well, yes..." she swallowed hard.

"So, then we need your expertise. And we have seen your skill" Kingsley said, "Once your magical levels are recovered, there is no better person to enter the aurors...besides Potter of course"

She sighed. "I do admit that I want to catch these wizards as much as anybody else"

"But giving up your other ambitions" Andromeda said, softly, "is that wise?"

She shrugged, "I have a hard time caring about those now...not after losing the baby"

"Very good" Kingsley smiled, widely. "We have your contract here, Sarah"

A quill floated to her, "Switzerland"

"I hear it is beautiful place" Kingsley said, "You should be quite comfortable there"

"And are they certain that they can recover my magical ability?"

"They have assured us of a positive outcome"

"Good" she nodded and then scribbled her name.

 _Sarah Grace Black_

She paused, mulling over a new idea in her head.

"There is one other thing. My adoption papers. There are still on record at the ministry"

"We checked it ourselves when you claimed at the last battle that Snape adopted you. And he also admitted to there being that paperwork" Kingsley nodded, "What about them?"

"I want an official name change" she said, clearly. "Before I leave for Switzerland"

"To what?" Kingsley asked.

" _Sarah Grace Snape-Black_. Hyphenated. I want everyone to know that I am Severus Snape's adopted daughter" she declared.

He exchanged a look with Robards.

"The public would be made known of the change. You have become some sort of a heroine in the public's eye. It would cause questions"

"Questions I would be happy to answer any reporter who calls" she told him, "This contract has no clause to silence me or my story"

"No" Kingsley frowned, "Perhaps we should have added it"

"I don't see how the name change makes that much of a difference. Malfoy and Snape will be eventually cleared. And the public knows most of the details anyways from reports from her peers" Robards said quietly. "If she wants to talk, at least then there wouldn't be so much damn speculation surrounding her"

"Okay, Sarah" he nodded, "If that is what you want"

"It is" she said, "And you will contact me to testify on Snape's behalf. And Draco's"

"Of course" Kingsley nodded. "I'm sure Andi will make sure"

"I sure will" Andromeda declared. "I can draw up the paperwork for your name change to put it through the proper channels at the ministry"

"Perfect" she nodded at both of them.

"I will have someone call you about the details of your travel" Kingsley said, "We are aiming to send you off within two weeks"

"Good" she said, "I'll be ready"

They left the two men and stood in the hallway.

"I feel like I signed my life away" she muttered.

"You didn't have to do it" Harry said, surprised.

"I never wanted to be an auror. That was your dream, Harry" Sarah said, "but they are right. It makes the most sense" She turned to Andi. "I have two favors, Andromeda"

"Sure"

"I want to interview with a reporter before I leave...actually as soon as possible. I want to try to sway the public opinion in Snape's behalf to light a fire under the ministry"

"He won't like that" Andromeda told her, titling her head.

"Too bad" Sarah retorted. "And another thing. When I am done with my interview, give him a copy of the newspaper"

Harry's eyes widened, "Are you trying to get smacked, Sarah? I wouldn't put it past Snape to call you down to his cell and use some of that good old Slytherin discipline"

Andi threw back her head and laughed, "I think she is trying to get her daddy's attention, Potter" She reached out and squeezed her hand, "I'll do that. I, myself, think he is being stubborn"

"Great" Sarah smiled at her and then grew serious, "One other thing. Before I leave...can I see Lupin?"

Andromeda grew grave. "The ministry is offering to send him also to Switzerland. There is a new revolutionary treatment that can control his transformations. He is being stubborn about it though. Without Nymphadora, it's like he can't go on. I know how he feels. I felt the same way when Ted died and then when Dora died..." her eyes filled with tears, "Maybe you should, Sarah. He asks about you every day. Potter goes to see him. And Teddy. He needs a visit from his godmother"

"Of course" she reached out to give Andromeda a hug, "I'm so sorry about Tonks, Andi. She was the best"

"She was special" Andi nodded, "I appreciate that, Sarah. I'll arrange that all for you"

Sarah and Harry watched her walk away, before Harry looped his arm around hers and they left them ministry together.

* * *

"What is this?" Snape asked as Andromeda handed him a copy of the _Daily Prophet's_ front page.

"Read it for yourself" Andi held up her hands, "I'm staying out of this"

 _"He called me His Pureblood Princess" An exclusive interview with Sarah Black, the one who defied the darkest wizard of all time_

"What in Merlin's name is this?" Snape demanded.

"Keep reading, Sev" Andi gestured to him. "It gets better"

He began to read the subheadings which were numerous:

 _"I was to have his children" He who must not be named wanted her as his own. An exclusive on His sinister plans for the best friend of Harry Potter._

 _"I would not be the woman I am today without Severus Snape" Her father, Sirius Black, was wrongly accused of murder and now her adopted father, Severus Snape is awaiting trial. More about the surprisingly tender relationship between Hogwarts's surly Potions Professior and the little girl he adopted and raised as his own._

 _"Both Draco and Snape protected me from Voldemort" Her marriage to Draco Malfoy, may have been dissolved by the ministry, but it is clear that Sarah's feelings can't so easily be dissolved._

 _And read it first here on the surprising plans of what lies ahead for Sarah Black, now Sarah Snape- Black. "I'm recovering and then will enter the auror academy" Will she partner with best friend, Harry Potter, after their training is complete? The exciting details ahead including a statement from the ministry_

"What rubbish is this?" Snape growled.

"I have read it already, Sev" Andi said, quietly. "Go on"

She watched him as he stewed over the article and after he had read it thoroughly three times, he snapped it closed, folding it carefully, and slid it across the table to Andromeda.

"I want to see my daughter, now" Snape's voice was low. "Bring her to me, please"

Andi gave him a smile, "She figured that. She is waiting outside"

"Leave the paper there, Andi" he said, his voice gruff.

"Very well" She turned to him, "You do know this enormously helps our case to sway public opinion in your favor"

"I never cared about that"

"I think Sarah's point is that maybe you should care" Andromeda retorted, "Be nice to her, Sev. She has been through alot"

"I'm aware" he said, dryly.

A few minutes later, Sarah came in. "Did you summon me, Dad?" she asked, standing in the doorway.

"Over here, Black" Snape snapped. "Sit. Now."

"It's so nice to see you too, Snape" Sarah said, sweetly, sliding into her seat. "I have missed you"

"Just stop" Snape raised his hand. "You know why I couldn't see you"

"No, I don't" Sarah retorted, heatedly, slapping her hands on the table. "I don't know. Why don't you explain it to me?"

"You are angry at me?" Severus's eyes narrowed. "After all I am doing to distance you from me to protect you and you allow this rubbish to be written?"

"Yes, I'm angry at you" Sarah slapped her hands again, "I'm pissed at you, Snape"

Snape folded his arms, "Pray tell, Black. Why are you angry?"

"I needed you"

"What could I do for you from in here?"

"You could have seen me when I asked to visit"

"I'm trying to protect you!" Severus slammed his fist down.

"And I'm telling you that you cannot protect me. She killed my baby, Dad. Fred is gone. Draco doesn't want to see me either. My marriage is over. Everything is topsy-turvey. I can't even produce a simple spell or take a shower without getting exhausted. I have nightmares at night about killing Bellatrix. My life is in ruins and the one person who I have always depended on is shutting me out"

"So you do this?" Snape reached and waved the newspaper at her. " _He called me his pureblood princess"_

"Well, he did" she retorted.

"You basically admitted your entire involvement with him"

She shrugged. "There were rumors about his plans. I just elaborated on them. And the stuff about you protecting me...about Draco protecting me...all of that is true! And about you being the best father to me growing up...that's true too. And if it helps your case, then I'm all too happy to divulge all the details of whatever the public wants to know"

Snape pointed to the last headline, "What about this?"

"The auror academy? Yes, that's true too"

"Why?" Snape's eyes narrowed, "That has never been the plan"

"Plans change, Dad"

"Not these. All we have done is so that you could still accomplish your goals and then when he dies and you have the chance to do so, you throw your life away in the course of a few weeks"

"An auror is a respectable career" Sarah retorted.

"But it is not what you wanted" Snape planted his hands on the table and leaned over, "It's the last thing you wanted"

"It's done now" she said, quietly.

"Why would you do that?"

"They said they needed me"

"They have Potter. Let him risk his life. You are putting your life very much in danger again...It makes these seven years seem all for naught"

"Not if I am good at my job" she said, wryly.

"Black"

"Snape-Black" she corrected, titling her head.

He paused. "You have made a grave error in judgement, little girl" he finally said, his voice low.

"Then it is my error to make" she rose. "I have to pack for Switzerland. I'll be back in time to testify for you and Draco before I start the academy"

"This conversation is not over...not by any means"

"I look forward to that"

She paused and then leaned over to kiss his cheek, before straightening. "I love you, Dad"

Snape sighed, resigned, "You are really going to do this, aren't you?"

"It's already done" she said, "I have to find my way, Dad. Unfortunately, you can't lead me through this"

He watched her retreat, "Sarah, wait"

She turned back around. "What is it?"

"Is this atonement for killing Bellatrix? Or putting your baby's life in danger?"

Tears sprang to her eyes, "Maybe"

"This won't help" Severus said, quietly.

"I have to try" She said, going back to sit in the seat, "By the way, I need to tell you something else...speaking of atonement and all"

"What is it?"

Her voice was low. "When Harry and I were walking to where Voldemort was so Harry could sacrifice his life, he used the resurrection stone"

"He told me" Snape said, "He told me what Lily and your mum said"

"And when I was unconscious, I was with the baby...with little Orion...and my parents urged me to come back...for you. And reminded me to tell you, that you need to move on with your life. And it is true. Lily and mum were right. You have done a wonderful, but you have more than atoned for everything. You need to move on too, Dad"

He nodded.

"Let me testify. We will get you out of here and you can go back to Hogwarts. Now that the ruse is over, you could probably actually be a good professor"

"I wouldn't go that far"

"I would" Sarah stood again, "You were the best teacher I ever had" She swayed slightly and reached out to grip the table again.

"Are you alright?" Snape's eyes were always discerning.

She took a breath, "I need to go home and rest"

"And finish packing?"

"Yes, and that too"

"Ask Wiggles to help you"

"I will"

"And then I will see you when you return" Snape said, with a nod.

"Are you really upset about the whole auror thing?"

"You may be certain of that. But you are right. You must find your own path. I'll see you when you return"

"I love you" she said again.

"I love you too" Snape responded.

He watched her leave before burying his head wearily in his hands.

A/N: up next: Sarah tries to see Draco before she leaves.


	3. Hope of New Chances

**A/N:** Thanks to all who took the time to review! Here we go...new chapter...

 **Chapter 3: Hope of New Chances**

Sarah tried to quell her nerves as she stood on the steps at Malfoy Manor two nights later. It was the first time since the battle that she had been back. This place held so many memories…of torture and torment at Voldemort's hands, but also of love and discovery. She didn't know how she would feel at coming here and at the moment she couldn't qualify her emotions either.

"Are you alright?" Andromeda asked her quietly.

"Yes, thanks for coming with me" she said. "I know it's late"

"It's better if this is done with some discretion. And I want to talk to Draco about his defense anyway" Andi said. "My sister is also hounding me for an update about Severus"

"Would it really hurt their cases for Narcissa to visit with Dad?" Sarah asked, curiously.

"It is best to keep their cases as separate as we can for now" Andromeda responded. "But I do think it is driving both of them a little nutters to be apart"

"Hum" Sarah grunted, "And then Narcissa must play the dutiful wife to Lucius since he weaseled his way out of charges"

"Indeed, there is that" Andi rang the bell and they were shortly let in by two houseelves and ushered into the drawing room.

"Hello" Narcissa rose when they arrived, followed by Draco. Lucius was thankfully nowhere to be found.

Sarah was undeniably anxious as she rubbed her sweaty hands against her dress. She couldn't quite bring herself to look at Draco. The whole thing felt hopelessly awkward. She had so many questions, but she was scared of the answers. But regardless of all that, their abrupt breakup had left her heart even more shattered. She focused on Andromeda, who took the lead.

"Cissy" Andromeda nodded, "Thank you for agreeing to this meeting"

"Of course" Narcissa said, smoothly. "It is important for them both to have…closure" she paused again. "Sarah" she finally looked at her, "I'm sure you want your things. I could have arranged for a house elf to take them to Snape Manor, but Draco insisted you would want to pack yourself. He can take you there now to do so"

Sarah fought the urge to get flustered, "Of course. I didn't even think of that" she swallowed hard.

"I'm sure you have missed your things. What have you done for clothes?" Narcissa inquired, politely.

"I had some things already at Snape's…and then Hermione and Harry bought other things…nothing quite fits right anymore"

"It must be fortunate that you are so talented with your spell work so you can make the appropriate adjustments" Narcissa said, dryly.

Sarah flushed, "I'm not though. Not any more."

"Oh that's right" Narcissa said, "I have heard that you have become a squib…what a shame"

She fought feeling completely mortified, touching her cheek, which felt hot to the touch. She was sure her face was completely red.

"Mother" Draco snapped.

"Cissy" Andromeda's voice was harsh, "the ministry is sending Sarah to recover her powers, which she will do and then become an auror…probably one of the best there ever has been. She has not become a squib as you so eloquently put it"

"Well, of course, I wish the best for you, my dear" Cissy said, her nose turning up slightly. Her words said one thing, but her attitude quite the opposite.

"Thank you" Sarah's eyes flashed. Narcissa's superior attitude really frustrated her. "I really don't know how my Dad ended up being friends with you" she said in exasperation.

"I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you, dear" she said, smoothly.

"Not a problem" Sarah retorted, "And don't worry. I won't be reporting every snarky thing you say to me back to Snape, though I am sorely tempted too" She turned on her heels, leaving the room. "I know the way. Draco doesn't have to accompany me"

She quickly walked out of the room, before she showed her tears.

"Sarah, wait" Draco rushed out after her. "Come on. She didn't mean anything by it"

She ignored him as she struggled up the stairs, out of breath. "Damn it, I hate that after all this time, I'm still so weak"

"Let me help you"

"I don't need help from you" she stumbled up two more stairs, before standing at the top of the stairs, Draco right behind her.

She continued down the hall to their rooms and pushed open the door. Without turning back to look at him, she made her way to her drawer in the dresser, "This will take forever since I can't use magic" She began to toss her clothes on the top of the dresser, piling them high, not bothering to organize or fold. "Do you have a box?"

"I could help you" Draco said, his voice low, "Or I could do it for you. "

"No thank you" she grunted.

"I don't mind"

"But I do" she retorted. "Leave me be. I'll get all of my things out of your way"

"Just stop for a second. Look at me"

"I can't" She reached back into her drawer and her heart shattered when she saw what had been so neatly folded in there. This had gone from bad to worse and the floodgates opened up.

Draco moved towards her but he stopped as her tears became sobs. "Sarah?"

Her arms wrapped around the blue baby blanket that was tucked away in her drawer, hugging it close to her chest.

"Please talk to me" Draco's voice was low.

"Why?" her voice was hoarse, but still she didn't turn around.

"They made me not protest it" Draco said.

"Who? The ministry?" her arms wrapped tighter around the blanket.

"Mother and Father. They believed that the ministry wanted the marriage annulled and if I protested it, it would negatively impact my case. I didn't want to…but they threatened to cut off my inheritance if I didn't end all ties with you"

"I have money."

"I didn't even know if you would live!" Draco said, his voice rising with emotion.

"Well, I did. I'm sure that disappointed Lucius and Narcissa" Sarah sobbed. She turned around to finally look at him through her tears, "I killed our child. Tell me that had nothing to do with your decision"

"Bellatrix killed our child" Draco said, his voice low. He reached out for her, but she shrunk away.

"I…I stood up to him. I incited her. I should have gone and hidden. That would have been the responsible thing to do. Instead, I had to be all noble and….so incredibly stupid. If I had just did what every one was telling me to do to stay out of it, our child would still be alive. Tell me you haven't thought of it that way."

He remained silent.

"Was that part of this?"

He let out his breath, "Yes…and then combined with the fact that it is my duty to my family to produce an heir"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He froze, startled, "It's n..nothing"

She felt ill, "No, it's not nothing. Draco, tell me what you meant" she insisted.

"Didn't Potter tell you? Or the mediwitches?"

"No" she studied him and when he still didn't answer, she knew. "Oh Merlin. I can't have any more children, can I?" she cried out.

"Sarah…" he began but she turned around and sniffled hard, trying to get control over her emotions.

She very carefully put the blanket aside. Then, she continued to pull her clothes out of the next drawer. "Do you have a box?"

Draco summoned a box to the dresser. He moved to stand beside her and began to fold her clothes and put them in the box. "It's not certain that you can't, but Father and Mother don't want to take the chance"

"It's okay. I understand. Having an heir is important to your parents. It's important to you."

"It's important to you too" he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"No" she answered, honestly, "but while I want to hate you for agreeing to the divorce, I understand you choosing your family over me. We are young…we were too young to marry anyway. With him dead, there is no reason to stay married"

"Is what you said in the papers true?" Draco's voice was low and he reached for more of her clothes.

"About us?"

"Yes, is that true?"

"Of course" she told him, reaching over to touch his hand to stop his folding. He looked at her, deep into her eyes and she felt her heart swell. "I do love you"

He reached over to thumb away her tears and she closed her eyes tightly at his tender touch.

"Draco" her voice was hoarse.

He moved closer to her. "Shh"

And before she could react, his lips were on hers.

"You gave up on me" she murmured as he kissed her again and again. "I take it back. I don't understand. I'm supposed to be your friend. Your best friend"

"You are my best friend, but you need better than this" he responded, his arms going around her waist, pulling her into his embrace…holding her tightly against him. "And you gave us up first..."

"When did I do that?"

"At the last battle"

Her stomach twisted, because partly his words were true.

"Do you love me?" she pulled away.

"Yes" Draco told her.

"I feel like things will never seem right again, Draco. That I will never be me again…"

"You will" he tried to sound confident.

"How?"

"I don't know" his voice was strained from his emotion.

"It was supposed to be different when he lost. I was supposed to have my happy ending. And it's gone…maybe forever"

"Sarah" he kissed her again.

She pulled away after a few moments, looking torn. "Maybe you should step back"

"Why?" he asked, with false innocence.

She put her hand on his chest and pushed him away, "You know why. We aren't having a goodbye shag. I'm still pissed at you. And hurt"

"I don't blame you. Will you ever forgive me? I feel like a jerk"

She swallowed hard, tears coming back into her eyes, "Well, you have always been somewhat of one. But then again, you did do a lot to protect me from him…so…I suppose…I can…eventually. This is all hard to take though. I hate feeling not good enough"

"You are good enough"

"Clearly I'm not" she retorted. She paused, "Let's just...let's just talk about something else"

He nodded. "I read you will go into the aurors"

"Yes" she walked over to their lavatory and began to gather her things from the cabinets.

"What does Snape say? Did he have a fit?"

"He wasn't happy, but there isn't much he can do" she gathered them up in her hands and went to place them in the box. "My trunk is still in the closet. And probably some dresses. Can you just pack those and send them to Snape Manor? I'm shattered…"

His brow creased in worry. "Aunt Andi wants to meet with me after she talked to Mum. If you don't feel like waiting…"

"Harry is staying at Grimmauld Place. Can I use your floo?"

"Sure" Draco frowned, "Why is Harry at Grimmauld Place?"

"I gave him part ownership of it. Sirius would have wanted it that way"

He let out his breath, "Right"

"You disapprove?"

"It's just you are giving away part of your inheritance"

She shrugged. "I want to share with my friends. I'll have a job, which will bring in income… and more money that I can ever want on top of that"

"Alright then" Draco sidewept her to leave the room.

"Wait" Sarah turned around to pick back up the blanket. "Can I look for one of my bags in the closet?"

"Of course" he said and waited for her to retrieve and stuff a blanket it in. "What are you going to do with that?" he asked, curiously.

"Give it to Lupin for Teddy" she said, her voice tight, her emotions running high.

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Yes" she snapped and at his stricken look , she softened her tone, "Make my goodbyes to Andi please"

"Sure"

"Tell her I'll see her tomorrow night for dinner"

"I will" Draco led the way downstairs to the kitchens, where the floo was located. The room was bustling with house elves, but at Draco and her arrival, they cleared out immediately.

"You sure know how to clear the room" Sarah said, dryly.

He put his hand on her arm turning her back towards him, "Please don't hate me" his voice broke.

"This sounds trite, but I could never hate you, Draco" she said as he pulled her in for one more long kiss. He then kissed her forehead and both of her cheeks.

"Take care of yourself Black"

"You too, Malfoy"

Without another word, she grabbed the floo powder and left for Grimmauld Place.

* * *

She stepped out of the floo, shaking off the powder from her dress.

"Kreacher!" she called, depositing her bag on the chair in the sitting room.

Kreacher popped immediately into the room, "Mistress Sarah. We didn't expect you"

"I know" her voice was strained. "Where is Harry?"

"He is in his room"

She hesitated. "Is Gin with him?"

"No"

"Ron? Hermione?" Sarah asked, the tears starting to fall, "are they here?"

"No, it's just Master Harry"

"Okay"

"You look peaked. Can Kreacher fix mistress something to eat?"

"You are so kind, Kreacher" Sarah sniffled again, "But I don't want to bother you"

"It's Kreacher's job to serve the Mistress" Kreacher protested.

"I know" she said as she began to walk towards the stairs.

"A sandwich?" Kreacher asked, "I'll bring it up for you in a few minutes"

"Very well" she started up the stairs, "Thank you, Kreacher"

She turned the corner down the dark hall and knocked on Harry's room. "Harry"

"Come in" Harry was reading through a quidditch magazine in bed.

She stopped short when she saw he was in bed. "I didn't know you were in bed" She turned around when she saw him not wearing a shirt, thinking he might be starkers. "Oh, sorry"

"No worries. I'm decent" Harry said with a lopsided grin, tossing aside his quidditch magazine and using his wand to summon a shirt to shrug on. "And have an early morning"

"An early morning…how very adult of you" she turned back around and tried to give him a grin, but it only came out as a wobble of her chin.

"Sarah, what has happened?" Harry asked, worried because something was clearly so very wrong, "Why are you here?"

"It's half my home" she protested, trying to still her trembling hands. She knew she was spiraling and quickly.

"Yes, I know…but you haven't been here often"

"I've been sick"

"I know" Harry said, quietly, "I'm not saying it's wrong you are here. It is your home too, but…"

"I asked Kreacher to make sure Gin wasn't here. I didn't want to interrupt anything. If you are tired, I can just leave" she turned around but Harry's voice stopped her.

"Sarah, wait" he called.

She turned back around, the tears pooling in her eyes. Harry patted the bed.

"Don't be silly. I'm glad you are here" he said, "Come get under the covers. It gets drafty even in the summer"

"But not cold enough for a fire"

"Exactly"

"Then why don't you wear a shirt?" she asked, curiously, "What is it with men wanting to go completely starkers all the time?" she wiped at her tears.

He chuckled, "It's so freeing not to wear clothes to bed. Was Draco not the same?"

"He was at times" her face crumpled and Harry said, quickly,

"Just come on over here. You are shivering"

She made her way over and kicked off her heels and then climbed in bed next to him, tucked underneath the covers.

Harry reached to hand her the second pillow he was using to prop himself up. She took it as he wiggled down on the bed and turned on his side, facing her, "What happened, Paddy?"

"I saw Draco tonight" she began to cry earnestly.

"What?" Why didn't you tell me that you were doing that?" he demanded. "I would have gone with you"

"Andi went with me"

"Okay" Harry let out his breath, "What did the prat say?"

"Harry" her voice broke. "Why did you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Harry asked, curiously.

"Why didn't you tell me that I can't have any more children?" she turned over and buried her face in the pillow.

Harry's voice was harsh, "Is that why he chose not to contest the divorce?"

She turned again to her side, "Partly, though I know it's more Lucius and Narcissa instead of Draco"

"He is a fucking prat, Sarah who can't stand up to mummy and daddy" Harry grunted. "That's awful"

"I know it's bad, but why didn't you tell me? It seems like an important piece of information you left out there"

"Snape suggested not" Harry said, his voice low, "We don't know for sure. There was damage that Snape corrected some…but it might be harder for you to conceive. Harder, but not impossible, Sarah" Harry told her and then reached out to hold her hand.

"I don't blame him for it, you know?" she twisted her face, trying to get control of her emotions.

"You should…" Harry told her, adamantly, "If he loved you, it shouldn't matter"

"He does love me" she said, her voice hoarse, "But it's not just that. I killed our child. It's not an easy thing to get over. And Draco should have his future"

"You did not kill your child!" Harry exclaimed. "If he even implied that I'm going down there. That is ridiculous!"

"He didn't imply it, Harry" Sarah sobbed, "Part of him does believe it though. Deep down. And he is right. Because I feel the same way. I shouldn't have stood up to him. He warned me of the consequences and I didn't care. I should have just gone and hid"

"Then you wouldn't be the Sarah we all love" Harry told her, his voice tender and soothing. "Bellatrix was aiming for your child anyway…from the moment you were pregnant. Draco should know that. He is just cowering to Narcissa and Lucius"

"We are young…too young to do all of this anyway"

"That's probably true" Harry admitted, "How are you feeling besides the obvious?"

"I don't even know" she admitted. "My heart hurts. I didn't just lose my husband, Harry. I lost one of my dearest friends. Regardless of what you want to say about Draco, he was that"

"I know" he shifted, "When is the last time you ate?"

"Kreacher is bringing me up something to eat"

"Good. Why don't you just sleep over tonight?"

"I don't have any clothes"

"I'll transfigure your dress" Harry said, "or you can borrow a shirt of mine"

"I suppose" she said, slowly. "But I don't want to bother Kreacher into making another bed"

He waved his arm, "Just sleep here" he paused, "though maybe not tell Ginny, alright?"

"I won't dare" she said, solemnly, "I can't defend myself against her bat bogey hex"

He laughed, "Very true" he squeezed her hand. "By the way, we are having a goodbye party for George the day after next. Molly has asked me to extend the invitation to you"

"That's sweet of her" she said, quietly, "but I can't"

"Why not?" he demanded, "you are still friends with Ron"

"Yes"

"And Molly still adores you"

"Probably a little less than before"

"Maybe" Harry admitted. "But she still loves you. Think about it"

Sarah groaned, "I still have to face Lupin tomorrow"

"Good luck with that" Harry said, wryly, "He's not doing well at all"

"He needs to come with me for Teddy. If he could control his transformations, it would make all the difference in raising Teddy"

"I know"

Sarah paused, her throat dry, "What is Teddy like?"

"He is a cute little guy"

Her heart ached again, "That's nice. I can't wait to meet him" she murmured.

He studied her, "If it is too hard…"

"I'm his godmother, Harry. I'm not going to be absent from his life, especially since Tonks …isn't here"

Kreacher knocked on the door with a tray, "For Mistress Sarah" he announced. "Sandwich and crisps"

"Thank you, Kreacher" she said as she sat up in bed. "I appreciate it"

"Sarah is spending the night, Kreacher" Harry said.

"Should I prepare Mistress her room?"

"She's really tired" Harry answered for her, "Don't bother"

"I'll prepare it for next time. I should have known Mistress would want to sleep here too" Kreacher answered. "Does Mistress need clothes? I'll pop over to Snape Manor and get you some"

She looked to Harry. "That would be wonderful. Thank you"

She took a bite of the sandwich and a few crisps before handing the plate to Harry, "Want the rest?"

He frowned and then took it and finished it for her. He placed the plate aside, "hey"

"Hey what?" she rubbed her temples.

"Scoot over here" he opened his arms.

She scooted into his arms, leaning her head against his shoulder, "I'm a wreck"

"Go to Switzerland. Maybe once your magic is back, you'll be able to cope better"

"I hope so" she sighed. "I miss Fred"

He pulled away, "Maybe there is something else you should know"

"About the Weasleys?" she asked, her heart sinking.

"Not all the Weasleys…just George"

"Yeah?"

"He is a bit…antagonistic towards you"

"I see…is everyone like that?"

"No, Molly, Arthur and the others…they don't blame you at all. But George…"

"He was antagonistic even before Fred's death" Sarah shrugged, "But this is just great considering he is coming to Switzerland too"

"You probably won't be around him that much" Harry assured her.

"I'm definitely not coming to the Weasleys if he feels that way"

"The rest of them want you there. Molly thinks if you are there again, it will actually help George move on. He isn't really angry at you. He just thinks he is"

She sighed again and then buried her head in his chest. "I'm so shattered"

"Then go to sleep" Harry said.

She yawned, "Kreacher is bringing my clothes"

"Don't worry about that. Just sleep" Harry said and she relaxed, giving into the exhaustion of her emotions.

* * *

"Hello, Remus" Sarah said as she stepped out of the floo the next night.

"Sarah, come on in. You are right on time" he looked over his shoulder, "Andi is going to be late. Fitting since she arranged this little get together."

The baby began to cry and Lupin sighed and then went over to pick up Teddy. "He needs his nappy changed. Do you mind stirring that over there?"

"Yeah, sure" she picked up the spoon and began to stir the sauce.

She looked over to wear Lupin was changing Teddy on the couch, using his wand to retrieve what he needed.

"I heard you slept over at Harry's last night"

"Who said?"

"Andromeda" he told her, "she said you left Malfoy Manor for Harry's in a hurry. She was worried about you. So she flooed over when she was done and Harry said you were there and sleeping"

"Yeah, well" she stirred. "Sometimes we need our friends, don't we?"

"I wouldn't know" Lupin said, "I don't have any left" he picked up Teddy.

"You have Harry and me" Sarah protested, still stirring.

"You are children"

"Come on, Remus, we aren't really children anymore. I think we have earned the right to be considered adults"

"That's true" Lupin shifted Teddy on his other shoulder, "but still, you are my friends' kids. It's a little different"

"well, maybe, you can make friends" Sarah suggested, "Did I stir enough?"

"Just use magic to keep it going" Lupin said.

She froze.

"Sorry, Paddy" Lupin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, "I forgot. Here" Lupin took his wand and cast a stirring spell. "There you go"

She wiped her fingers on her jeans and moved over to where Lupin was sitting on the couch with Teddy. "Andi and Harry…"

"I know very well why Andi arranged this little dinner" Remus pointed his finger at her, "And don't you go trying to deny it"

"I wanted to see you, Remus"

"And while I'm glad for that, I don't want to hear your arguments why I should go to Switzerland with you. I'm not going"

"But think of all you can do if you can learn to control your transformations…"

"Without Dora, it doesn't matter"

"It does matter! It matters for Teddy"

"You don't understand"

"Don't I?" she challenged. "You aren't the only person who lost people. Andi lost Tonks too. And the Weasleys lost Fred"

"And you…" Lupin said, quietly, "You have lost haven't you?"

"Sometimes…" she bit her lip, fiddling with the seam of her pink shirt.

"What is it?"

"Sometimes I feel like we actually lost the war instead of won it"

"I feel the same way" he reached over to squeeze her shoulder, comfortingly.

Sarah looked over at Teddy, who was settling on his shoulder. "May I?"

"You may" he transferred Teddy into her arms.

Her heart swelled at looking at this little life in her arms. Tears prickled her eyes.

"I…" she paused, trying not to reveal how much it hurt to hold a baby in her arms…a baby that she would never have. "I brought a blanket I found in my things. I would like Teddy to have it."

"That's kind of you" Lupin put the dummy in Teddy's mouth as he began to squawk a bit. She rocked him slightly, "He likes you, Sarah"

She smiled, though again her smile ended up just being wobbly.

"I'm sorry, Sarah" he said, sincerely. "what Bellatrix did is inconceivable"

"Yeah, well, it's over now"

"It won't be over for you for a long time." Lupin said, wisely. "It's the same way I feel about Dora"

"But you have Teddy…and I have…" she paused, "nobody"

"You have Harry. And Snape"

"Who knows what will happen to Snape? And Harry is with Ginny. And Ron with Hermione. They are all happy and in love and I'm…never going to be"

"But you will have that…one day" Lupin told her, gently. "But I suppose like me, none of that matters."

She continued to rock the baby, "I'm terrified to go to Switzerland"

"Why?" Lupin asked her.

"Same reason why you are" she told him, handing Teddy back to him, "If this doesn't work, if I can't recover my magic, then all the hope I have been holding onto of somewhat returning to normal is gone…and that would be devastating"

Lupin closed his eyes, "Yes"

"I have thought about what I would do if that happens…"

"Which is?"

"I'm leaving the wizarding world like mum did. I'll go to university. I'll find a career. But if I break ties with this world, I'm breaking ties"

"Snape?"

"No, probably not him" Sarah admitted, "I don't have the heart to leave him completely like mum did…though I'm sure he would be better off than being burdened by having a squib for a daughter"

"That's not true"

"You feel the same way about Teddy being burdened by you" Sarah challenged.

Lupin sighed, "When did you become so wise, Paddy?"

"Somewhere in between losing my parents and anticipating being forced to shag with the darkest wizard of all times" she answered, wryly. "And then there was losing my best friend, having my husband divorce me, being cursed by insanity herself and losing my baby. Shall I go on?"

"That isn't necessary" He gave her a smile smile and put Teddy in his cradle. He stood, "Let's get you something to drink"

"Something to drink or _something to drink_?"

He winked at her, "I'm not getting you plastered…that would be entirely irresponsible of me, especially considering my newborn son is in the other room" he told her, "But I'll give you your first taste of firewhiskey if you'd like. You have certainly earned it, Paddy"

"Who says it's my first?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

"You are too scared of Snape for it not to be"

"What will we drink to then?" she asked as he poured the firewhiskey into two shot glasses.

"The hope of new chances" he raised his shot.

"Hope of new chances" she repeated, clinking her glass against his and then downed it. She sputtered and spat and Lupin laughed, heartedly, and summoned her some water, which she gulped down.

"Did you enjoy it?"

Sarah sat down the shot glass. "It's revolting"

He laughed more.

"My head feels lightheaded already"

"Your mother could never hold her drink either" Lupin smiled at her. "Let's eat. We'll save Andi some to warm up later"

"Okay" she smiled at him, "Does this mean you are coming with me to Switzerland?"

"Yes, I could never say no to your mother either. It's a weakness of mine. Do want wine with your pasta?"

"Yes" she nodded. "I got used to it living with the Malfoys"

"Andi has to have it with her meals too. I think it is a Black thing"

"How is it living with Andi?" Sarah asked as he took out two glasses from the cabinet.

"Makes me feel closer to Dora. And I need help with Teddy" Lupin said, "though it is a little less than ideal at times" he paused, putting the glasses down. "If I can control my transformations, Teddy and I have the hope of a normal life"

"I really think it is the right thing...going to Switzerland"

"And then I have the added bonus of keeping an eye on you" Lupin took the wine out of the fridge and poured it into two glasses before putting a plate of pasta and sauce in front of her.

"I don't need an eye" she said as she reached for the wine glass that Lupin had poured for her.

"That is definitely debatable" Lupin said, wryly as she sipped her wine. "I think you might need two eyes"

She chuckled. "Perhaps you are right"

* * *

Andi came home several hours later to Remus putting a blanket on Sarah as she lay on the couch.

"Sorry, Remus"

"No worries" he said, inclining his head.

"How's the baby?" she stepped into the kitchen with him and reached for the plate of food.

"Asleep. He should be up to feed soon though"

"And Sarah?"

"She's a little…intoxicated"

"Hum" Andi frowned. "You got her plastered, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one. Remus Lupin, how could you?" she scolded.

"I only did what Sirius would have done. And honestly, she didn't have that much to drink…but did she ever open up"

"Will she remember it tomorrow?"

"Definitely not" Lupin shook his head.

"What did she say?" Andi sat down and began to eat the food.

"Your nephew broke her poor heart"

Andi sighed, "I know"

"And your sister sledge hammered it" Lupin sat down next to her, "But you know the worse of it?"

"What is that?"

"She feels guilty about killing her…because she heard you know who's voice in her head when she did"

Andi sighed, "That is something Severus should probably know. The poor girl. She has been through it, hasn't she?"

Lupin nodded, "More than any should have to at her age" he paused, "Where were you anyway?"

"Severus and I had a strategy meeting…and it lasted a lot longer than I anticipated. We just ended up talking. I lost track of time. He wants to thank you for watching out for Sarah on this trip"

"How did he know I decided to go? I just made the decision tonight"

"He figured Sarah would convince you. He knows you have a soft spot for her" Andi titled her head, "though I doubt he would be thanking you for getting her plastered tonight"

"We just won't mention that part. And I didn't get her plastered. I just didn't stop her"

"Why?"

"She is so wound up tight and emotional. She is trying to control it, but she is a wreck. I thought it would help to express herself" He stood, "Don't worry. I'll give her hangover potion in the morning. She'll leave good as new"

"You see to it or I'm sticking Snape on you" Andi said, "I've become fond of my cousin"

"She is sweet" Lupin nodded. "Reminds me of Dora a lot. Spunky, but sweet underneath it all"

"And quite talented. You can definitely tell they are cousins" Andi nodded. "I'll see you in the morning"

"Goodnight, Andromeda"

"Goodnight, Lupin"

Lupin stopped and turned, "How is Severus holding up?"

"Good" Andi nodded. "He's obviously worried about her though…ten times more than he is worried about his case"

"That's a father for you"

Andi nodded, "It is indeed. Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

With one more check on Sarah to make sure she was still sleeping comfortably, he went upstairs to check on his own son.

 _ **Up next**_ _: Switzerland…and then…Severus's trial_

 ** _A/N:_** _please let me know what you think!_


	4. Switzerland

**A/N:** As always, a BIG thank you to all who continue to read and review! I LOVE hearing your thoughts!

 **Chapter 4:** **Switzerland**

"Thanks for seeing me off" Sarah said, as she wrapped her arm around Harry's.

"Of course" Harry said, "There was no way I would let you go without the proper send off. Ron and Hermione wanted to be here too"

"I know they did" Sarah acknowledged, "I just wanted not to make a big deal out of all of this. I'll be back soon"

"Sure you will" Harry pulled her truck behind him as they reached the apparition point. "Should I secure your trunk now for apparition?"

"That would be great, thanks" Sarah stepped away and allowed Harry to shrink her things.

"I'm sure Lupin or someone else can enlarge it back when you get there" He handed her the miniature form of her trunk and she slid it into her purse.

"Of course, I can" Lupin said as he and Andromeda came up from behind them. "Good morning, all"

"Remus" Harry reached out to shake his hand and Sarah moved forward and gave him a hug.

He pulled away, "How are you feeling?" he studied her, "I trust there are no ill effects from the other night"

"No" Sarah looked, sheepish. "Sorry about that, Remus"

"Yeah, Remus. Heard you got her plastered" Harry laughed.

"He did" Andromeda gave him a severe look.

"I never thought it possible" Harry said, "Sirius sure. But not you"

"I doubt even my cousin would get his own daughter plastered" Andi retorted.

"It wasn't exactly his fault" Sarah intervened, "And I am adult"

"That you are" Remus smiled at her. "Are you ready for this?" he asked, changing the subject.

"As ready as I can be" Sarah put a hand to her churning stomach, "As long as I don't sick up after apparition"

"Stomach all wobbly, is it?" Remus looked sympathetic. "Nerves?"

She nodded, "I'll have to get that sorted before I become an auror"

Andi waved at her, dismissively. "You will once you get your magic back. You stood up to you know who without so much of a flinch. You'll be fine" she turned as they heard noise behind her, "Oh here are the Weasleys"

At that announcement, Sarah moved closer to Harry and he reached to put his arm around her shoulders.

"You okay?" he murmured under his breath.

"No"

"Good morning" Arthur gave everyone a bright smile, "I see everyone is here already"

She couldn't force herself to look at the Weasleys. She had the strongest temptation to bury her head in Harry's shoulder. It was the first time she had seen them since Fred's death, even though she knew Molly and even George had kept watch by her bedside.

"Sarah" Molly stepped forward and Sarah's eyes popped up.

"Mrs. Weasley" she felt her throat catch.

Harry dropped his arm and pushed her forward slightly as Molly's arms came around her for a motherly hug.

The sob came out of her before she could contain her. Molly pulled away and put an affectionate hand on her cheek, "Everything will be fine, Sarah. You'll see. They'll make you good as new"

"I hope so" she whispered to her.

"We missed you at George's send off"

"Couldn't be bothered…too good for us" George mumbled and Molly turned around to give him a glare that silenced him.

She turned back around to face Sarah, "You do know" she looked at her evenly, "that you are always welcome at our home. You are family. Do not be such a stranger when you return. Pop by with Harry or the others every once in a while. Or without Harry. Either way. No invitation needed"

"Thank you" Tears glistened her eyes. "That means a lot. I'm so sorry about everything"

"I know" she said kindly as she gripped her arms, "We will talk more when you return if you'd like"

"I think I'd like that"

Mr. Weasley came forward and Mrs. Weasley went back to stand next to George.

"I want you to know" Arthur tugged at her arm, pulling her away slightly from the others, "I am putting pressure on the others to start Snape's trial soon. No use to delay it"

"Thank you" Sarah said, gratefully, "And congratulations on your promotion. That's the best news"

"Thank you" Arthur stepped away, "Remus, will you apparate Sarah with you?"

"Of course" Remus nodded.

"Then we best say our goodbyes and send them on their way" Arthur said. "The ministry liaison will be checking on your progress in a few days"

They nodded.

"Best of luck to you all" Arthur said as Molly embraced George.

Harry turned to Sarah and opened his arms. She held onto him tightly. "I don't want to go" she murmured in his ear.

"I know" Harry said, his arms wrapping tighter around her, "they'll take good care of you. And you'll be back before we know it"

"Will you make sure Snape is okay while I'm gone?" she pulled away. "I worry about him in that place. Even if it isn't Azkaban, it's still prison"

"Of course"

Andromeda came up beside them, "I'll make sure Snape is fine too" she assured her as she gave Sarah a hug, "Take care"

"I will"

Remus reached out for her and took her arm, "Are you ready?"

"Are you?"

"I am" he looked over to George. "We'll see you on the other side"

"Safe travels" Molly said.

"You look green" George came to stand beside them, "Glad you are apparating with Remus"

"What is your problem?" Sarah turned to him, "Are you trying to be a prat this morning on purpose or does it just come honestly these days?"

Remus cleared his throat before George could answer, "Let's go, _children"_

And before Sarah could retort, Remus apparated them to Switzerland.

* * *

"I don't quite understand" Sarah blinked as Healer Matthews, a young (and admittedly quite handsome) doctor was explaining her therapy.

"I'm sure it is all confusing" he said, sympathetically, putting an absent hand through his brown hair, "But once we cast the spells to…" he paused, "in a way, reset your magic"

"Reset my magic?" she asked, tugging absently at the ends of her own hair.

"Pull you back to a time when your magic levels were normal"

"Okay" she nodded her understanding.

"Then once your magical levels are reset by this spell that was newly invented…and quite brilliantly if I might add"

Sarah gave him a small smile, dropping her hands to her lap, "Did you create it?"

"I helped" he said, proudly.

"I see" she titled her head, "well, if it works, I'd say it is quite brilliant"

He laughed at her, "Point taken. You can reserve your judgement for later. As I was saying" he picked up his quill and twirled it at her from across his desk, "Once we reset your magical levels, then I'll work on you to rebuild your repetoire of spells. Starting with simple spells and working up"

"I don't understand how this all works" she shook her head, wearily.

"It's like a muscle that tears" Healer Matthews explained, "We can heal the muscle, but you still need therapy to restore the full range of what that muscle can do. We'll restore your magic, but we'll have to exercise it for you to get full use out of it"

"Okay" Sarah looked thoughtful, "that makes sense"

"And then" he continued, patiently, "we also take a wholistic approach to healing here…so I want to examine you thoroughly to make sure the dark magic is truly out of your system before we even begin"

"Yes" she nodded, expecting that.

"And I want you to see a specialist in fertility restoration since that is where the dark magic hit you. I'm afraid you are in for some prodding"

She stilled and then twisted her hands, agitated. "I thought there would just be spells"

"Spells can only tell us so much. A physical examination is also necessary"

She grimaced, "That sounds… uncomfortable to say the least"

"You will be uncomfortable at certain points of this journey" he said, "but she is a woman specialist and one of the best. I think we need to get a better picture of what the effects of the spell LeStrange used, so we know if it has truly been eradicated" he paused, "And you do want to try to have children one day?"

She paled, "I do"

"Then this is necessary…plus, if there is any lingering traces of the dark magic, we need to find it, before we cast the spell to reset your magical levels"

"Okay" her throat was dry.

"You look upset" his eyes were on her, "Quite upset in fact"

She shrugged.

He went around the desk to move to sit next to her. He reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "You have come to the right place. This clinic is at the forefront of some of the most groundbreaking innovations of healing magic"

"Is that why you came from the UK to study here?"

"Indeed"

She nodded, "It's peaceful too here. The Alps are lovely"

"I quite agree" he squeezed her shoulder again, "Now, I'm your case worker so I will be with you through restoring your magic, but also through the other parts of your recovery. We'll bring in specialists for those parts as I said, but I will be present for it all"

"Okay"

"So if you need anything, you come to me"

"I understand"

"And…" he paused, "We do want you to enter psychological therapy with the others"

"No, absolutely not" She shook her head, swiftly, "I'm fine"

"Clearly you are not" he said, "you went through a trauma with the others. The other things won't come if this doesn't either"

"Fine" she grunted.

"I'll be there"

"Lovely" she said, sarcastically.

"I can tell already that we will get along splendidly" he retorted with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh" She frowned and then looked sheepish, "I'm sorry. I have seemed to inherit some of my father's snark in the seven years in which he has been my guardian" she said, apologetically, "It comes out at the most inopportune times"

"No, I think it was a perfectly opportune time" Matthews laughed. "Use that attitude to our advantage. I've seen what you have accomplished in your young years. You have a bright future and we are going to help you seize it"

She nodded.

"Now" Matthews swiped his wand for her file, "you seem nervous by the fertility specialist. Is there anyone we can call on to help with that?"

"Like whom?"

"Someone who can be there with you" he suggested, "A friend?"

She paused, "Maybe Hermione, but I don't want to be a bother. Actually the two people, ironically, that I would want there are unable to leave the country at the moment"

"You would want your father there?" he asked surprised.

"He has always taken care of me when ill. He is actually quite gifted in healing magic…especially when it counteracting the effects of dark magic. I'm assuming there would be some level of privacy"

"Sure" he nodded, "he wouldn't actually see anything, we could ensure that"

"Then, he is who I would want" she said, "but it won't happen anyway" Sarah sighed, "maybe Hermione"

Matthews went around to his desk, sitting back in his chair, "Do you realize how much they want you in the aurors?"

"Pretty badly I suspect"

"From what I have read and seen, the aurors are in shambles. They are eager to get this done and have you trained, which by the way, I'm assuming it will be a modified training"

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"For sure" Matthews nodded, "They'll want you in the field as soon as possible. And I'm wagering they want you enough to arrange a bit of a transport for your guardian if that is what you want"

"I'm scared"

"I know you are. I could see it the minute you walked through my doors"

"He would say that it so weak. I had to learn not to show it in front of him"

"Who?"

"The Dark Lord"

"I see. Well, you can show it here as much as you want. This is a safe place" Matthews retorted, "And I'll call and see what I can do. No promises though"

She nodded. "Thank you"

"You're welcome" He stood, "I'll show you to your room so you can get settled in. Your trunk should be already there"

"That would be great"

"And maybe you should take a rest. You look tired"

"I am"

He gestured her to lead the way out of the door before closing the door to his office with a click, "For the record, Sarah, I _do_ thing we'll get along splendidly. I'm glad you are here"

"I am too" she said, though as she said that she felt homesick for her friends.

* * *

Sarah shifted uncomfortably on the hard examination table. She had read over the materials Healer Matthews had left with her which told her what to expect going forward with the fertility specialist as well as with him. She absently twisted the sheet they had left for her that she had draped her legs and then fiddled with the hospital gown.

She felt like all of this was rubbish, but she knew it was necessary. They had to make sure all the traces of the dark magic was gone before they could reset her magical levels and work on rebuilding it. It had been a day since her initial meeting and her feelings of homesickness increased tenfold. She missed Snape even more so. And her mum. Definitely her mum.

There was a knock on the door and Healer Matthews came in, "Good news" he unblocked the way and Snape came through the door.

"Dad" she felt a rush of pure relief, followed by tears. Gut wrenching tears.

"I thought you would be happy to see me" he said dryly as he walked over to where she was sitting awkwardly, "Lift up a second. You need to get this sorted" He adjusted her sheet so she was modestly covered. "Now" he put his hand on her back and pulled her into him. "Why the tears?"

"I don't know"

"You do know. Don't be embarrassed"

"I just feel like rubbish. I stood up to him" she cried into chest, "I was tortured by him and I bore it. But the thought of this…" she sniffled. "I'm scared. I don't think I like healers" She glanced at Healer Matthews, "no offense. You are great, it's just _this_ isn't great"

"None taken" Healer Matthews said easily. "This can be difficult especially for one your age. By the time you are older, I'm sure this will become nothing"

"What?"

"You are supposed to be checked out once a year" Snape cleared his throat, "once you start having...relations, which you have"

"Why didn't I know this?"

"You were too preoccupied with...him... to know that. Didn't the mediwitch examine you...when you were pregnant?"

"She just did a scan"

"I see" Healer Matthews said, "Don't worry. I'll tell Healer Scott that it is your first time being examined. It will be fine. Did you read over the materials I left you?"

"I did, thanks for those"

"Did they make you even more worried?" he asked.

"No" she shook her head against Snape's chest, "I like being prepared"

"It might be uncomfortable" Snape pulled away, looking at her, "But it won't last long. I understand your privacy is important and you are uncomfortable by this, but the Healers are right. We aren't certain that the Dark Magic is gone…and if there is a way that they can help your fertility…then…it's important to you. You have to think of your future"

"Draco is gone. Fred is dead"

"And I refuse to believe that there is not one man left in this world that will become interested in you in the future. You'll meet someone and you'll want to marry. Then you'll want to have children. Better try to sort this now than then"

"You're right" She nodded. "Thank you for coming"

"Better here than where I was" Snape retorted and then kissed her head, "The ministry must desperately want you healed if they are willing to risk my transport"

"They are pretty sure you are innocent anyway" Sarah said. "I more meant that I know you don't agree with me going into the aurors, so it means a lot that you would be willing to come"

"This isn't about that" Snape responded, "this is about you and your health. Of course, I'll come"

"Did you talk to the Healers?" she asked.

"I did" He nodded, "You are in good hands, Sarah" he nodded towards Healer Matthews.

Another knock on the door and a middle aged woman came in the room. She gave her a smile and reached for her hand, "Sarah, my name is Healer Scott. How are you?"

"Well, thank you"

"Good. I heard you are nervous" she said with a sympathetic pat to her knee, "No worries. It shouldn't be that difficult on you, but the more you can relax, the better"

"I'll try"

"Good. Now" she sat down in the stool in front of the examination table, "Tell me about your history or would you like your father to leave us alone for a few moments while we go over that information?"

"No, he knows all of this...if he doesn't mind staying that is" she said. He turned to Sev who nodded his consent.

"What do you want to know?" Sarah asked.

"When did you have your first menstrual cycle as a girl?"

"It was my summer after second year…so…thirteen?"

"Twelve" Snape supplied for her, "not quite thirteen"

"Good" Healer Scott smiled at her, "And have you had one since Bellatrix's curse?"

She bit her lip, "No" She glanced at Snape, "That's bad, isn't it? I hadn't even thought of it"

"Hush" Snape patted her head. "I'm sure those are routine questions"

"Absolutely" Healer Matthews interjected, "Perfectly routine"

"Okay" Healer Scott made a note on her chart and then looked up, "How many sexual partners?"

"One" she swallowed hard.

Healer Scott looked up, "Are you sure?"

Her stomach twisted as she glanced at Healer Matthews, who intervened again, "I know this is somewhat sensitive, but given the time that you were alone in that place…surrounded by some of the darkest wizards…and he that must not be named's interest in you…"

"Please, call him Voldemort" Sarah grunted.

"Fine, Voldemort's" he managed not to cringe, "interest in you, the ministry would like us to verify that you did not have relations with any of them other than your husband of course"

"You mean…they want to know if Voldemort was shagging me" she snapped. "No, he was not. Not yet. It was only Draco"

"Sarah" Snape cleared his throat, "I don't think they are implying anything about you…and the question is fair. If the Dar…if Voldemort was forcing you into sexual relationship, then your healers should know about it"

"I told you we weren't having sex" she said, "I would have told you. I promised you, remember?"

Snape nodded and Sarah turned back to the others, "As for the others, they wouldn't dare touch me without his permission. And he wasn't giving it"

"She's right there" Snape confirmed, "He would have killed any wizard that came near her like that. He was obsessed with her"

Matthews nodded, "We'll make note of that. But this is also something we should hash out in therapy"

"I get to go to therapy" She turned to Snape and raised her eyebrows.

"Merlin knows you need it" Snape retorted.

"Traitor" she scoffed at him.

Snape reached for her hand, squeezing it once.

"How about your husband?" Healer Scott asked.

"What about him?"

"Did he have any multiple partners before or during your marriage?"

Her face flushed. "Not during...at least I'm pretty sure he didn't" she once again turned to Snape for confirmation.

"I don't believe so" Snape said slowly.

"And before?"

"One…"

"At least two" Snape intervened, his voice gentle.

"Oh right, the woman from the ministry" she grunted. "What do you mean _at least_?"

"There may have been others that summer" Snape said, quietly, "Draco was certainly flirting enough with them"

"Draco's his godson" Sarah said, "It's all bloody complicated as you can tell. He probably knows more about Draco's history than I do"

Healer Scott nodded, "We'll test you for transmitted diseases"

"Oh Merlin, really?" Sarah asked, cringing.

"It's protocol. Probably fine" Scott told her.

Snape leaned up to put his hand on the back of her neck, trying to comfort her.

"And just to clarify" Healer Scott looked up from her chart, "You haven't had sex since the curse, have you?"

Snape looked at her quizzically as a pink flush reached up as she thought about the moment Draco and her had in his room. But no, they hadn't. She hadn't let them.

"No"

"Okay. And Professor Snape told us details about the curse and what they tried to do to help you, so now we are just left to examine you"

She nodded. "Will you hold my hand?" she asked Snape.

"That's what I'm here for" Snape said, clasping her hand, as she scooted down on the examination table and the healers helped her get situated. "Clear your mind, Sarah Grace"

"Very well" she squeezed his hand, feeling completely nervous and exposed.

Her knees shook.

"Sarah" Healer Matthews voice was soothing, "Would you like Healer Scott to walk you through everything she is doing? You need to relax or it will be more uncomfortable for you"

"It feels bloody well uncomfortable" she grunted.

"I'm aware" Healer Matthews said, "but she hasn't quite started yet"

"What do you need, Sarah?" Snape asked, reaching up to begin to rub her head, trying to calm her down.

"Um" she bit her lip, "actually, if Snape could just walk me through clearing my mind, I should be fine" She looked at Severus, whose expression was stoic as usual. Perfectly controlled. How could he be so perfectly controlled in this bloody awkward situation?

"Of course" he responded, smoothly and in low tones, he began to instruct her in the task of clearing her mind. And with his help, she was able to do so successfully. And one again, she was so grateful for him…and the fact that he was here.

* * *

Sarah bunched up the sheet as she threw it on the examination table. They had all left her to get dressed and try to restore some of her dignity. She eased on her knickers, then her jeans. Then she pulled on her shirt. She reached for a hair tie and pulled her hair up into a pony tail, securing it with the tie. She took a breath and exited the room into Healer Matthews adjacent office.

"That was fast" Healer Matthew said, with a smile, "Come in, Sarah, and we'll talk"

"Okay" she sat in the seat next to Snape who reached out to put a protective hand on her knee. "Is the dark magic gone?"

"It is" Healer Matthews said, "Professor Snape did an excellent job ensuring that it was. Healer Scott?"

"There is still damage to your reproductive system"

"Are you concerned I haven't had another cycle?"

"Somewhat, though after a miscarriage, your cycle can become wonky" Healer Scott explained.

"So, it could be nothing"

"No, not quite. There are some restorative potions that we have been experimenting with along with some spells…from our tests, it seems like your system is somewhat in dormant, but with the potions and spells, we can possibly jump start it again"

"I see" she turned to Snape, "And if I start periods again…"

"It is likely that you would be able to conceive. The damage all in all is minimal. But your body has been through a trauma, so we wouldn't recommend trying to have a baby any time soon" Healer Scott paused, "Relations might be painful for a while as well"

"Really, why?" Sarah's face paled, but then she glanced at Snape and become mortified all over again.

"LeStrange's curse was manufactured to make it so. But we can elaborate on that later"

"Okay" Sarah's mind tried to process this new information, "And then can we begin to restore my magic now?"

Healer Matthews nodded. "We can" He stood, followed by Healer Scott. "We will give you a few minutes with Professor Snape. We have to get him back to Britain. His transport is waiting for him"

"Thank you"

They left them alone. She was quiet for a few moments, drumming her fingers on her stomach.

"Sarah?" Snape cleared his throat.

"Yeah?"

"I think this therapy…beyond fixing what needs to be fixed physically…the therapy they want you to do…" he paused.

"What about the therapy?" she asked, "It is a bunch of rubbish. I don't need to talk over my problems"

"Actually" he stood to move the chair in front of her, sitting again. He leaned down so he was at her level. "I think you do"

"Is this because I decided to enter the aurors?"

"Not quite" Snape retorted, "Partly, but it more about making sure that you have the wherewithal to survive being an auror. You'll be hunting down some of the most sinister wizards that are still at large. You will have to keep your wits about you. And you have so many…wounds…from him"

"Dad" she grunted.

"It's justifiable" Snape said, "he played psychological mind games with you. He wore you down. And he did torture you. You just need to make sure you have yourself sorted…mentally"

She licked her dry lips. "Okay. Point taken"

"Use this time wisely, Sarah Grace" Snape said, "And don't give your healers too much trouble"

"Yes, sir" She looked up at him, "thank you for holding my hand"

"Anytime" Snape reached out to pull her into his embrace, "We have come a long way, Sarah. We have to continue to rely on each other"

"I wasn't the one who shut you out for weeks"

"I know" Snape retorted, "And I was really only doing it to protect you. But like it was when Voldemort was alive, I really can't. I have to let you find your own way"

She nodded. "Arthur Weasley said he was hopeful that your trial would be soon"

"Yes, Andi mentioned that once you are well enough to testify, things should move forward"

"Good" She stood with him, "I guess this is it then"

"I suppose it is" Snape retorted, "Take care of yourself, Sarah Grace"

"I will"

He paused, turning around, "You and Draco…did you two…see… each other before you came here?"

"Yes" her face flushed.

"Did you" Snape shut his mouth, "Never mind. It is none of my business"

"Not, it's okay" She swallowed hard, "I think he wanted to. We would have…but I stopped us. I didn't want a goodbye shag…"

"Okay" Snape nodded. "But you do know, if you and he still have feelings for each other and if you have your fertility back, then, perhaps…"

She shook her head, "It can't be all about my ability to bear him a child. This isn't ancient times. That was Voldemort's philosophy. I want more. _You_ raised me to want more"

Snape gave her a smile. "You are right. Good girl. I'm proud of you"

"Thanks Dad"

"You're welcome. I'll see you when you return"

"See you"

She sat down as he left the room, feeling just as alone as before.

* * *

"Lumos" she swiped her wand and the light flickered.

"Good" Healer Matthews praised reaching for her arm, "Now try again. Adjust your wand movement slightly to the right"

She narrowed her eyes, "I have been casting Lumos since I was eleven years old"

"I have no doubt" Healer Matthews retorted, "And your wand movement is slightly altered. You are just out of practice"

"But I could cast it without a wand" she responded, her face flushing, "and there is nothing wrong with my wand movement"

"Sarah" Matthews chided, "Come now. I wasn't try to insult you"

"Well, I am insulted" she said. "The bloody Dark Lord wanted me and do you know why he wanted me?"

"Tell me why" his voice was quiet, sensing she need to say it more than he needed to hear it.

"Because I was powerful. He thought I could be the greatest witch of all time" she laughed, "he actually said that" she threw her wand across the room, it hitting the wall to his office, bouncing off of it to land on his desk. "And the thing was…he wasn't entirely wrong. I was talented…and I liked…him…thinking that I was. Oh Merlin, that sounds bloody awful!" she covered her mouth and then left the room without another word.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Healer Matthews came out into the courtyard with her jacket and her wand. "You left this in my office" he said, draping the jacket around her shoulders and sitting on the steps next to her. "Are you enjoying the view?"

"Immensely" she sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"So, you liked that he thought you were powerful. Taking pride in your magical ability isn't wrong" he told her, twisting her wand in his hands.

"I have never been conceited and trust me, I didn't like all his attention…but there were moments in which he…lured me…into his idea of what it meant to be powerful" she struggled to explain.

"He was the master manipulator" Healer Matthews said, quietly. "It really is pretty in these mountains" he commented looking out the view of the Alps in front of them.

She nodded.

"Would you fancy a hike later on?" he asked. "A short one, but I think we need to work on your physical stamina as well. Would serve to clear your mind also"

"I'd like that"

"And" he patted her knee, "we don't have to talk about your recovery at all"

"Good" she grinned at him.

"Glad to see you smiling" he told her, "especially when I have to tell you this"

"Tell me what?"

"Your therapy sessions start tomorrow morning…bright and early. Remus Lupin and George Weasley will be there"

"Ugh" she groaned. "I don't know if this was in my extensive file that came with me, but George Weasley and I have bit of a history"

"I know" Matthews said seriously, "Seems like you have a lot to get sorted"

"He doesn't like me"

"You two need to work through your issues if you will enter the aurors. He could very well become your partner"

"That is bloody unlikely" Sarah snorted, "Harry will be my partner"

"That's even more unlikely" Matthews said, handing her wand to her, "they'll want their two brightest wizards on different teams. And that's you and Harry"

"Well, it won't be George" Sarah said, not at all liking the idea of not being partnered with Harry.

"Probably not" Matthews said, "but all the same, it would be better for you all if you work through these issues"

"Okay" she sighed.

"Now" he tapped at her knee, "wand movement slightly to the right"

"Yes, sir"

She adjusted her wand movement and concentrated her magic, "Lumos". The light was considerably brighter.

"Good job" he patted her on the shoulder, "More tomorrow. Small steps"

"Okay"

"Are you tired?"

She nodded. "Come back to my office with me. You need more potions. We have to be cautious about how much we are straining your magical energy. And…then you should rest"

"Very well" she allowed him to help her up off the stairs as she pocketed her wand.

"Do I have to go to therapy tomorrow?" she asked one more time.

"Chin up" Healer Matthews retorted, "And after your therapy session, you have an appointment with Healer Scott"

"So not only do I have to have therapy, but then I have to have her try to jump start my menstrual cycles and if it is successful then I have to try to be nice during these other therapy sessions while PMSing?"

He laughed, "In short, yes"

"Wonderful" she rolled her eyes, "I will need that walk"

"After you rest" Matthews said.

"Bet you haven't had a patient as wonderful as me before"

"You are unique" he admitted and she rolled her eyes again.

"That's generous"

"Come on now" he gestured towards the building. "on we go"

"On we go"

She allowed him to take her inside and dose her full of potions, sending her off to her room to rest. They had a leisurely walk together, but when he sent her to bed that night, she had to admit she was dreading what was to come the next day. And that night her mind wandered to Fred…and then Draco…and then and her heart ached all over again.

 **UP next** : Therapy session :)

 **A/N:** Please review!


	5. Therapy

**A/N:** A long chapter for you all. If you have the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Sorry for the delay. Fall has brought sick kids to our house. It's been a long week, but hopefully we will be in the clear soon. :)

 **Chapter 5: Therapy**

Sarah looked down at her coffee cup, the black liquid swirling around as her hand shook disturbing the contents. She was seated in a circle with Healer Matthews on her one side, Lupin on her other. George was across from them and the therapist beside him.

"Hello I'm Healer Firth, but you can call me Liz" she said, "I'm heading up your therapy sessions"

Sarah continued to stare at her hot coffee, feeling incredibly put out by this whole idea.

"I'm aware that you all know each other, but I would like to introduce Healer Matthews, who is Sarah's case worker"

Remus leaned over her to extend his hand towards him, "Remus Lupin" he said and Matthews shook his hand. "Nice to meet you"

"Likewise" he nodded towards George, "you must be George. It's nice to meet you as well"

George nodded, but remained silent.

Sarah looked up, "Why aren't their healers with them?" she asked, curiously.

"Due to your age" Liz explained.

"But I'm of age" Sarah said, not understanding her meaning.

"In some countries, the age of adulthood is eighteen which you are few months shy of" Liz clarified.

"But…" she began to protest, but Matthews cleared his throat,

"Trying to get rid of me, Sarah?"

"Of course not" she retorted, "It's fine" she took a sip of the coffee trying to look causal and not show how nervous she was.

"Yes, she needs _yet_ another person to coddle her" George said, his eyes on her.

She nearly spit out her coffee. "Who has been coddling me?" she demanded, aghast.

"Everyone!" George retorted, "Poor little dear. She lost her baby. Her magic is gone. She's going mental."

"I'm not going mental!" Sarah exclaimed, indignant, but George continued,

"Let's hold her hand and be careful about what we say in front of her. Best not disturb her further"

"George" Lupin's eyes were weary. "That's enough"

"No Remus. I'm tired of it. Nobody cares about what she did." his eyes flashed. "They are making her out to be some sort of hero… But nobody cares about what she did to him! Nobody even mentions him- he was a hero, not her"

Liz cleared her throat, "Let's try not be so accusatory. This is supposed to be a safe place. Attacking someone straight away is not setting this off right"

"Again, the coddling" George waved his hand, lazily. "This is a farce. She is a farce. But sure, we can talk through it. Go on, Sarah. Tell us all about it"

"No, I think not" she wiggled in her chair to rise, but Matthews put a hand on her leg, stilling her.

"And one more thing…just for the record, Ginny is sick of sharing her boyfriend with you, but you know all about toying with men"

"George" Lupin snapped. "Honestly, that's enough."

"You better be thankful my magic is weakened, Weasley" Sarah said in a low growl, so reminiscent of Snape's demeanor before he unleashes his fury, "because if it wasn't, I could take you."

"I'd like to see you try" George narrowed his eyes.

"You're on" she retorted, heatedly. "When he says I'm healed enough" she quirked her head in Matthews direction, "you name the time and place. But remember, I was taking lessons from the darkest wizard of all time…and he taught me…" she paused and then sputtered, "t..t..things…"

"And they want to make _you_ an auror?" George laughed at her. "You'd most likely join them"

"Oh shut your mouth already" Sarah snapped.

"That's quite enough" Matthews interjected, his hand still on Sarah's knee. "Weasley, please refrain from talking unless Liz tells you too…"

Sarah looked triumphant, but only for a moment,

"And you" Matthews looked at her, sternly, "Simmer down. You can control your responses to him better than this"

"Fine" she grunted.

They were quiet for a few moments and Sarah took another sip of coffee.

"And I don't think you need more caffeine" Matthews took her cup from her.

"But it's only the second cup" she protested.

"Clearly one cup too many" he retorted.

"It helps my nerves"

"It adds to them" Matthews countered.

"I like it though"

"Switch to herbal tea. Would you like me to get you something?"

"No thank you" she said as Matthews disposed of her coffee.

"Now" Liz said, slowly, "clearly we have some issues to work through. Sarah, would you like to respond to George?"

She frowned and then looked at Lupin, then Liz, then Matthews, "I don't toy with men. I wouldn't even know where to begin to…manipulate…them"

"Let's talk about that then" Liz said, quietly, "You three have gone through a trauma together. You have lost ones you have loved…Remus his wife and George his twin and Sarah…"

"I lost my baby" she said, quietly.

"And you lost Fred as well" Lupin pointed out quietly, "And Tonks. You loved all of them"

"She didn't love my brother" George crossed his arms.

Tears filled her eyes as she looked down at her hands. "How can you say that?"

"I say it because it's true"

"Why do you think that, George?" Liz asked, intervening before it exploded into another argument.

"She married Malfoy. Broke his heart. Don't think she ever had the intention of marrying him"

"May I interject here?" Lupin asked, quietly and Liz nodded her permission.

"I was privy to witnessing their relationship last summer. Fred came over our house a lot when Sarah was staying with us and they did have a relationship…a serious one on both of their ends"

"That's exactly what I mean" George pointed his finger at Lupin, "All of them…defend her…all the time"

"It's the truth" Lupin said, "You don't have to like it George, but it is the truth"

"Sarah?" Liz asked, gently, "What was your relationship with Fred Weasley?"

Her lip trembled and then she lifted her eyes, "Do I have to talk about it?"

"I think it would help"

She shifted in her seat and then shrugged, "It doesn't matter whatever I say. He'll still think I was a…bitch…when it came to Fred. And perhaps I was"

"Then say it for yourself" Liz retorted, "not to satisfy George"

She put her hands on either side of her seat, gripping the edges, "I did love Fred. I did want to marry him. I didn't intend to marry Draco. I was forced into it and I fell back in love with him. Draco and I share a history…a deep one…and we were in the…" she paused, "we were in the trenches together. I had to rely on him"

"Why did you feel forced to marry Draco?" Liz asked.

Sarah grew pale, "He…he…" she looked at her hands then squarely at George, "Do you realize what he was like? I was bloody afraid…for Fred. for you. for Harry. for Snape. for Lupin. for Tonks. He…he found out about my deception…how I wouldn't actually perform dark magic on my classmates and he was angry. Bellatrix and him started a fire…a bloody dark fire at an orphanage and I…"

She took another breath and then rushed ahead, "there was a baby on the top floor…and I ran back in. I crashed through the window with the baby…and he then…tortured me…so the glass bit into my arm…it was agony, but the worst part…is that he said if I didn't comply with him…that…he would kill you all. So yeah, I arranged for Draco to marry me. I would have much rather run off with Fred and went into hiding, but I couldn't. And did I fall for Malfoy again? Yes. He was a life line for me in that dark house…and I don't regret it"

"Sarah" Liz prompted, "you said that we don't realize what he was like. Would you like to tell us more about him?"

She put her hand to her head and then shook it, "No, I can't"

"Maybe later?" she asked.

"Yeah, maybe"

Liz turned to George, "Tell me more about Fred, George. He seems like he was very loved"

Sarah stood, abruptly, "I need to use the loo"

"Sure" Liz nodded, "Go on"

She made her way down the hallway to the lavatory. She leaned over the sink and cried. When she used the towel to dry her tears she took a breath and tried to compose herself enough to come back in.

She stepped out of the lavatory and almost ran into Healer Matthews.

"I can go to the loo by myself"

"I know" he said, easily, "but I have a feeling that you are procrastinating because you don't want to hear about how wonderful Fred was"

"I know he was wonderful" she said, staring at her trainers.

"And…you feel guilty because he was. You feel guilty that you hurt him"

"You aren't my therapist"

"It doesn't take an expert to know this"

"Yes" she nodded, "George was right. I was bloody awful to Fred. But I did love him. And he was so, so sweet to me…even when he shouldn't have. He saved my life"

"And George blames you for that"

"Yes"

Healer Matthews reached out and touched her arm, "You can't change him, Sarah. He will think what he wants. But the only thing you can change is you. How you view the situation. And how you want to proceed from here. You have so many wounds from Vol…Voldemort"

"I don't know if they will ever heal" she said, honestly.

"They won't if you continue to stay out here and don't go back in and face them. You have shown great bravery, Sarah. You need to be brave now"

"That Sarah…I don't know if she exists anymore"

"She does" Matthews said, confidently, "you just have to find her again"

She sighed and he put his arm around her and led her back to the room.

* * *

A few more days of therapy and George was not outright antagonistic, but definitely not friendly. One night after a particularly rough therapy session with everyone (except George) pressing her to talk about Voldemort, she went outside to wander the garden in the moonlight and bumped into George lounging on a bench.

"Sorry" she went to turn around but he stopped her. "Sit" he gestured, sitting up to make room for her.

She ran her hand through her hair and sat next to him. "Is that contraband?" she asked as she saw him drinking out of a flask.

"Don't tell your healer" he handed it to her, "after tonight, you need this"

She took a swig of the fire whiskey, it burning through her chest. "Thanks" she handed it back to him.

He nodded, them sitting in silence for a few minutes. Finally he turned to her, "Why don't you want to talk about him?"

"Who? Voldemort?" she asked.

"No, I know why you don't want to talk about him" George said, "Fred. Why don't you want to talk about him?"

"What I said a few days ago is true. I hate that I had to break up with him. I hate that he was so sweet to me when I was horrible to him. I hate that he died saving my life" she rubbed her hand over her face. "He was lovely to me…always…and it just hurts…"

"He was a good bloke" George said, quietly.

"The best"

"And he would hate the way I'm treating you"

She shrugged, "I don't blame you"

"I guess he was always more forgiving that I am"

"That's okay" she reached for the flask again, "I need more"

He handed it over, "I'm angry. I don't know if I can just get over it"

She took another drink and handed it back to him, "Me too" she said, her voice low. "I blame myself too"

They didn't say any more, George continuing to drink and them both enjoying the silence and the night's breeze before leaving each other to return to their rooms.

* * *

A few weeks passed and Sarah's magic continued to grow stronger and with it, she was able to cast the same amount of advanced spells as before Bella's curse.

" _Expelliarmus_ " she said and caught Healer Matthews's wand.

"Wow" he bent over, slightly out of breath, "Well done, Sarah"

She grinned, "it feels so good"

"Do you feel more like yourself?"

She nodded, "It's been over a month and it's like I can hope again"

"Even though you are the last one here?"

"Yes, I figured this process would take longer for me. You did warn me of that. I was sad to see Lupin go through"

"And George?"

Sarah handed him back his wand, "Well…" she made a face. George and her still had a lot of issues. Sometimes he seemed cool with her, but others, he could be so harsh with her.

"I see" Matthews laughed, "How would you like to join them?"

"Really?" she titled her head. "Go home?"

"We still have some work to do but I am wanting a trip back home and I have been granted it to accompany you back to England. I'll stay another few weeks in London, treating you before heading back here"

"Sounds perfect"

"There is one caveat to this plan"

"And what is that?"

"Liz won't release you from therapy until you talk about Voldemort"

Sarah's mouth dropped, "You have to be joking"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"But…" she grimaced, "he has nothing to do with anything…"

"He has everything to do with your healing"

"But I don't want to talk about him"

"You gave that interview about him. It was all very candid. But it was also controlled. You controlled the information you gave"

"Well, yes…of course I did. I had to! Do know what people would think?"

"Those secret meeting between you and him…your feelings about him…sharing about that is important. It is important for you to be able to move on"

"I told of those secret meetings"

"Did you?" he challenged.

"I told about what he wanted from me. I told the whole world that he wanted me to be his whore! What more do you want?"

"Of course you told them about his plans for you" he said, "but did you tell them how you felt about it?" he titled his head, "I think not"

"I'm not talking about him" Sarah grunted, "It's completely out of the question"

"Then Liz won't release you and you will have to stay here until you do"

"She can't just hold me hostage here"

"Snape's trial is coming up in two weeks Sarah. You are needed to testified"

"This is bloody blackmail. Emotional blackmail" she exclaimed, "how is this ethical?"

"It's no such thing. You refuse to engage in your therapy sessions. That was part of the deal. The ministry wants you to be _psychologically_ ready to enter the aurors not just physically"

"I am ready!"

"What kind of questions do you think they'll ask you at Snape's trial?" Matthews voice was low.

"About Snape"

"No, not just about Snape. They are going to ask you about him too. And you will have to be prepared to answer…answer honestly"

"That just sucks" she paused and then sat down in the nearest chair, burying her head in her hands.

"What is it?"

She looked up, "My feelings towards Voldemort were…complicated...I was conflicted about him."

Healer Matthews studied her, "I see" he said, quietly.

"The ministry can't know"

"Of course anything you say is confidential" Matthews assured her, "Should I see if Liz is available now?"

"Now?" she asked, aghast.

"You seem ready to talk"

"To you…"

"Let's just include Liz in this" Healer Matthews squeezed her shoulder. "You like Liz"

"I do like Liz"

"Then tell her what you need to so you can go home"

Sarah nodded and he added, "I'll be back in a few minutes"

He came back with Liz a few minutes later.

"I heard you are ready to talk" Liz said.

Sarah twisted her hands, nodding. "What do you want to know?"

"Just start talking…we'll see where it goes"

"He…He…" Sarah took a breath, "He did things to me" she swallowed hard, "he tortured me. He punished me. He touched me"

"Touched you? Sexually?" Liz asked, quietly.

"No" Sarah shook her head, "but it _was_ personal. He would touch my face, rub it lightly with his fingers. Put his fingers through my hair. He undressed me once" her face blushed.

"And how did it make you feel?"

"Uncomfortable" Sarah swallowed hard, "He wanted that relationship with me. He seemed happy just to be sitting on the sofa in the library next to me for hours…" she shifted, "Harry had this link with him and Harry said that Voldemort felt differently when he was with me."

"He liked you" Liz said.

"I suppose he did" Sarah nodded, "But I was always ready for his other hand to come down harshly"

"Go back to those meetings" Liz said, "What did you do?"

"I swear they were innocent" Sarah said, "He would pick books for me to read and then discuss them with me. We would talk over different subjects…never really about his strategy for winning over the wizarding war…usually not about dark magic. He didn't push me in those times with that although his wishes in regards to that were clear other times…when he trained me in the practice"

"What did you talk about?"

"Places in the world. Art. Music. Potions. But then there was a lot of times when he would just sit next to me while I read and would read himself. We wouldn't say a word to each other. He just liked my company"

"Did he touch you then?"

"No" she shook her head. "not usually"

"Did it cause you to see him in a different light?" Liz asked.

She grimaced, "Absolutely"

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I felt conflicted"

"Did he know that?"

"Yes, he could tell"

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"Yes"

"How did it make you feel to feel conflicted about him?"

"Like I was a traitor"

"To whom?"

"To Harry. To the Order. To myself"

"Do you think you are?"

She paused, "I made my stand clear in the last battle. I lost my baby as a result"

"Did it surprise you to feel conflicted about him?"

She nodded, "Sirius told Harry and myself that everyone has a little darkness and light in all of them and we have to make a choice"

"Wise words"

"Yes"

"Did you see light in Voldemort?" Liz asked, her voice even.

She paused and then shifted uncomfortably, "Not really light. No" she shook her head, "he was so dark and sinister, especially when he viewed your actions as disappointing…but there were moments…here and there…where he almost seemed" she paused, searching, "kind"

"Kind?" Liz raised her eyebrows, skeptically.

She shook her head back and forth, "More of understanding. He came down hard on me at times. He did torture me. I suffered. But then there were times, he spared me. When he shouldn't have. He protected me from his death eaters who wanted my blood. They wanted him to give me over to them for rape and torture and he refused"

"Because he liked you"

"And because he wanted me for himself"

"Do you think that if Harry had lost, you and he would have become intimate?"

"Absolutely. I would have become the Dark Lord's lover" Her face paled, "I can't imagine what would have happened then. I'm so thankful it didn't turn out that way"

"But are you happy with the way things turned out?" Liz pressed, gently.

She shook her head, "No, I'm not"

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"There is nothing I can do about it" she said, forlorn.

"Sarah" Liz leaned forward, "your magic is back. we have positive signs for your fertility. You are almost eighteen years of age. You have your whole life in front of you. Why are you giving up?"

She shrugged.

"You aren't his chosen one anymore" Liz continued. "He isn't ruling your life with his iron hand. You don't have to be afraid of your every move. You could do whatever you want. You have money. You have resources."

"I made enemies when I was at Malfoy Manor. I'm still not safe. It is better I work with the aurors before they find me"

"Then work with the aurors, but don't lose yourself. He is still winning, Sarah. And it is because you are letting him. But unlike then, you do have power to change that. He's gone. His hold on your life should be gone"

Sarah was silent for a few moments before saying, "You're right"

"I know I am" Liz smiled, "so act like it"

"How do I do that?"

"Take one day at a time. Allow yourself to grieve, but also find that strength. The same strength you use when you stood up to him in front of everyone. It isn't gone. And stop being ashamed. You did nothing wrong. Him finding you attractive was because he was attracted to the light in you, not the dark"

She thought on her words again, "Do you think?"

"I do. I think he didn't understand it and it intrigued him" Liz said. "All of this is just conjecture but you don't seem swayed by dark tendencies at all so that's the only thing I can figure out"

She nodded, "What do I do when I'm questioned at Snape's trial?"

"You tell the truth. Unapologetically. You have nothing to be ashamed of"

"That seems easier said than done"

Liz nodded, "It is. But you can do it"

Sarah took in her words and they bolstered her confidence..maybe she could do it...move forward. And for the first time in a while, she felt a glimmer of hope.

* * *

"Do you mean to say that you preformed dark spells under his guidance?"

"Yes"

"Let me get this straight. The darkest wizard of all time trained you personally? That you spent time alone with him…actually it is quite well documented...from his mouth...you spent much...intimate time together...time in which Merlin knows what happened"

"I told you what happened…nothing" Sarah's eyes sparked. "I'm not on trial here"

"Of course you are not. But how can we trust anything you are saying? Your judgement is clearly altered if you think there is any circumstances in which this governing body would tolerate the use of illegal dark magic"

"I'm not going to apologize for the times I performed dark magic at Voldemort's orders" Sarah looked up at the prosecutor. "It is well documented who my allegiance was to and we all know that as a spy, there are certain compromises you have to make. I hated every minute of it. But I was trying to survive…and trying to help Harry. Much like Severus Snape. And you...you sir...are trying to make him into something he is not…"

"She is being argumentative" the solicitor turned to the Wizengamot.

Madam Bones shook her head, "Let the girl, speak. What do you mean child?"

"It is like I said before. You want some sort of accountability for our actions. And yes, there should be…but I think all the times that I was tortured by Voldemort…that Snape was tortured by Voldemort in order for us to maintain our roles, the emotional haunting that being forced to do something that goes against the fiber of your being…all for the bigger picture. Headmaster Dumbledore understood that. He understood those sacrifices…those consequences…that nearly led to Snape's death at Voldemort's hands…and the shrieking shack was not the first time. But Snape did it…for the bigger picture…to protect Harry. To give information to the Order to help in their efforts to stop Voldemort. His role was the hardest of all of our roles…even Harry's. Harry even said that. Did it mean that he had to engage in dark magic? Kill Dumbledore? Yes. But again, I don't believe Harry would still be alive and I know for certain that Voldemort would still be in power if Snape didn't do that…for all of us. You are putting him on trial like some criminal when he is a hero. The best hero there is in fact"

"Still" Madam Bones looked at her intently, "Even if we do find him innocent…do you believe that it would be wise to allow him to continue with his job at Hogwarts?"

Sarah licked her dry lips and reached for a cup of water. She took a few sips. "Here's the thing. Snape was forced to portray a role. That's not the Snape I knew. I was raised by the man. I was disciplined but he was never harsh with me and I was always disciplined out of love. And" Sarah titled her head, "I was abysmal in potions when I started at Hogwarts. He pushed me and I received an Outstanding on my OWL test and was doing very well in my NEWT work. That was all him" Sarah pointed her hand in Snape's direction. "He's the best teacher I know. And…what people never got to see about Snape is the compassion he has…the understanding. He was forced to act like an arrogant prat. Yet, in reality, the amount of understanding, sympathy and encouragement he gave me throughout my growing up years, led me to who I am today. He gave me confidence to be me…he gave me strength to survive and stand up against the darkest wizard of all time. Do you really think I would have been able to face Voldemort at Hogwarts those months ago and make that stand without Snape's years of instruction…or support…guiding me on? He is the best one to have teaching the future generation of wizards. Give him a chance. Sure he might still be snarky at times…but there is no one better that I would want on my side"

"I can see how much you love him" Madam Bones said, quietly.

"I do" Sarah nodded, adamently. "Please let him go. It is simply the right thing to do…for a man whose actions saved us all. Let Snape have his life back…for the first time in seventeen years. Let him not be Voldemort's man or Dumbledore's man…but simply him"

"We will take it under advisement, thank you, Sarah" Madam Bones, nodded. "We will confer now and render our judgement. Let us recess"

Sarah stepped down from the witness box and Harry greeted her with a smile, "That was brilliant"

"Perfectly stated" Hermione said, giving her a hug, "eloquent and heartfelt"

"You have the best ally in this one, Severus" Andi said, reaching to give her a hug.

"I know I do" Snape opened his arms for her and she allowed herself to be engulfed in them.

"None of it matters unless they set you free"

"But" Snape pulled away, rare tears springing to his eyes, "it does matter to me. Greatly" He reached to tip up her chin, "Chin up, Sarah. No matter what lies ahead of us"

"Yes sir"

"I want to talk to Severus for a few minutes about the different scenerios and our options" Andi said, tugging at Sev's arm. "It could be a while"

Hermione put an arm around Sarah's waist. "We will keep her company"

Ron came in then holding a carrier with four cups of coffee. "I got you coffee, Sarah" Ron said.

"Thanks Ron. Just what I needed" Sarah reached for a cup and sat back down in the bench, gripping the coffee in both her hands and stretching out her legs, smoothing down the end of her navy blue dress.

"You seem so much more…" Harry sat next to here, "sorted"

"I am" Sarah nodded, "I can't think the three of you enough for being here with me"

"Of course we are" Hermione said, "Where else would we be?"

"Is your magic back?" Ron asked, putting his arm around Hermione.

"Yes" Sarah smiled, "still a little ways to go but Switzerland did wonders" she shifted, her forehead creasing in worry, "What do you think the outcome will be?"

"They let Draco off yesterday with only a reprimand" Hermione said, "I think that is a good sign"

"But Draco is young…he was practically a child when he was forced to take the mark" Sarah bit her lip, "I'm worried"

"Of course you are" Harry said, with a nod, "But Kingsley thinks this is just a formality"

"We will see" Sarah said as Healer Matthews approached.

"I see you feeding your coffee addiction" Matthews said with a smile.

Sarah stood, "I'm so surprised to see you here"

"You didn't have to stand for me" Matthews teased.

"Well" Sarah shifted, "I'm still so surprised to see you here"

"Of course I'm here"

Harry cleared his throat, standing as well. He extended his hand, "Harry Potter"

"Nathan Matthews"

"Nathan?" Sarah asked, quirking her eyebrow, "I didn't know that"

"You didn't ask"

"Harry didn't either" she retorted, "Can I call you Nathan?"

Nathan winked at her, "Once our sessions are done, Sarah"

Sarah turned her head, "This is Ron Weasley. George's brother. And Hermione Granger"

"So nice to finally meet you all. I've heard so much about you"

"You too" Hermione stood and nudged the boys, "We'll give you a few minutes"

Sarah nodded and sat back down, Healer Matthews beside her. "How do you think it went?"

"Well" Nathan nodded. "You did well, Sarah. Very poised"

"But I nearly lost my temper at the prosecutor"

Nathan shrugged, "he was goading you"

"Do you think…?" Sarah's voice trailed off.

"I think everything will be fine" Nathan kept his voice reassuring. "How are you feeling?"

"I'll feel better once I know for sure Snape will be fine" Sarah paused, "You know he is pretty pissed about me going into the aurors"

"I have gathered that"

"Even when he is released, things won't go entirely back to normal between us"

"He's your father, but you have to make decisions for yourself now you are of age" Nathan said, "If being auror is what you want…"

"It's is for now" Sarah nodded. "I think I'll be good at it"

"I think" Matthews smiled, "You'll be great at it"

"Thank you so much for coming" Sarah said, quietly.

"You're welcome" he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "I saw Lupin here. I think I'll go say hello"

"Thanks again" She smiled and he left her alone.

* * *

Sarah held her breath as Amelia Bones began to speak. Harry's hand immediately found hers.

"We find the defendant, Severus Snape"

Sarah rocked slightly.

"innocent… of all charges"

Sarah squealed in triumph and Madam Bones smiled in her direction, "and order him to be released immediately. His job at Hogwarts should be reinstated as if nothing has occurred. We are dismissed"

She squeezed Harry's hand and jumped up and ran to Snape but then at the last moment, paused.

"Why are you stopping?" Snape couldn't help but smile at her.

"I am just remembering how a lady of good breeding is supposed to conduct herself" she inclined her head at him.

"Get over here, Black, and give your father a hug" Snape opened his arm and pulled her into his side.

"Are you happy?" Sarah asked as she squeezed him.

"Very happy" Snape pulled back and then his face turned stern, "I would be happier if you weren't throwing your life away"

Sarah looked sheepish, "Isn't that a discussion for another day?"

"Indeed it is" Andi poked at Snape. "Let's go out and celebrate. All of us"

"I think we shall" Snape kissed Sarah's head before extending his hand in Harry's direction and Harry shook his hand, "Harry, Hermione and Ron too"

"A party is then" Andi said. She looked over to where Snape's gaze had trailed…Narcissa had stood, gracefully slipping from the room. "I didn't know she was here"

Snape's expression turned guarded, "Neither did I"

"Dad?" Sarah turned back to him, "Everything okay?"

Snape put another arm around Sarah. "Yes. Let's go. I'm hungry"

"This is the best day ever!" Sarah exclaimed, gleefully.

"It's a pretty wonderful day" Snape retorted, dryly.

Sarah poked at him, "Muster some more enthusiasm, Dad"

Snape cracked another smile and Sarah giggled.

"Now let's go" Snape gestured to all of them. "My treat"

" _My_ treat" Sarah said.

"That's another thing we need to discuss" Snape said, raising his eyebrow.

"Another time, Sev" Andi said, "Off we go"

"Invite Lupin too." Severus said. "And Sarah go ask Healer Matthews to come along"

"Yes, your healer is awfully good looking" Hermione whispered in her ear.

"You think?" Sarah turned to her, surprised.

"Like you haven't" Hermione retorted.

"No, of course not" Sarah laughed and grabbed her hand, "Come with me, please, Mione?"

"Feeling shy?" Hermione asked, knowingly.

Sarah blushed, "No. Of course not" but pulled Hermione along anyway.

"Oh my" Snape said, under his breath.

"You are in a generous mood" Andi teased, her hand on his arm, bringing his attention back to her.

"Learning that my fate doesn't reside in Azkaban has made me…practically…giddy" Snape said in his same monotone tone.

"I can tell" Andi laughed at him. "I'll go talk to Remus"

But as she started to walk away, Severus reached out to touch her arm, "Andi?"

"Yes, Sev?" she turned back towards him.

"Thank you. I really can't thank you enough"

"You do know you aren't that arrogant git they all make you out to be" Andi's eyes danced. "It's been my pleasure"

They went out to the pub- Andi, Sarah, Snape, Lupin, Healer Matthews, Ron, Harry, Hermione…and had quite the pleasant meal.

And as they were eating Sarah thought to herself…

 _This is how it should have been all along._ Old friends and new friends enjoying each other celebrating a fresh start…

And that thought made her heart happy for the first time in a long time. She almost felt normal. Perhaps that was the best therapy of all.

 **A/N** : I'm aware that in cannon Madam Bones is murdered by Voldemort, but since I never included it our story, for our purposes, that never happened!


	6. The Heir

**Chapter 6: The Heir  
**

"Come in," Snape called in response to Sarah's knock on his study door.

Sarah entered the room, an envelope in hand. She shifted awkwardly as she saw Snape scribbling furiously on his parchment. It had been almost a month since Snape was released and still things were unsettled between them. Snape hadn't talked to her about her decision to join the aurors. It was definitely a source of tension between them, but Sarah wasn't going to bring up that unwanted discussion unless it was absolutely necessary and unfortunately, now was the time. Still, her bravery faltered at the prospect of Snape's disapproval, which she keenly felt.

She said, "I don't want to interrupt you. I can come back later."

Snape looked up from his work, "No, Sarah, come in. I was just trying to get a headstart on the potions curriculum for this year. This isn't pressing."

"Do we have any idea when Hogwarts will reopen?" she asked as Snape gestured her to sit on the couch across from him.

"No," Snape laid aside the parchment, "But the repairs are going on as scheduled. We are hopeful that it will be sometime in the fall."

"That's good," Sarah said, stretching out her legs and putting the envelope on her lap, "Are you upset that the board appointed McGonagall headmistress?"

"No," Snape shook his head, "It is how it should have been all along."

"I know you at least wanted the Defense position."

"I'm content with resuming my duties as potions professor and head of Slytherin house."

"Well, for what it is worth, I think McGonagall see your talent in the field and doesn't want to waste it."

He titled his head, his look pointed, "I could say the same thing about you in that regard."

"I think the ministry believes my talents lie elsewhere."

"Yes, but then they don't know you as well as I do," he pushed himself up and walked around his desk to sit on the couch next to her, "What do you have there?"

"The results of my physical. I passed. I start the academy in a week."

"May I?"

She nodded and he reached out for the parchment, sliding the parchment out of the envelope, opening it up and reading her assessment.

"Do you feel like you are ready for the academy?" he asked, folding back up the parchment and placing it in the envelope.

"As ready as I can be," Sarah said, "Harry and Ron have already started. I'm behind. I need to get started."

"They are modifying the program significantly, Sarah. I can foresee them graduating you by the end of the calendar year."

"Is that a problem?" she asked.

"I think so," Snape took a breath, "I don't like them taking shortcuts with you. An auror's training should take a significant amount of time. Will you really be prepared thrown out there to hunt down dark wizards?"

"I suppose they think that I faced the darkest wizard of all time and that I can handle it."

"You were lucky," Snape said, quietly. "Potter too."

"Wormtail and I faced off and I bettered him. And Bellatrix…" Sarah's voice trailed off.

"Again, I'm not sure those results could be replicated without significant training. I don't want you to get into a situation where you are not prepared and a few months of training will not make you prepared. The auror academy typically takes 3 years, Sarah, and for them to graduate you only after months of training will be downright irresponsible on their part."

She frowned, biting her lip.

"I don't say this to hurt you," Snape said, quietly.

"It does hurt though," Sarah's voice cracked, "I hate that you of all people don't believe in me."

"In you?" Snape nudged her knee so she was facing him. "That is not what this is. This is me being concerned as your father that the ministry is using you…and Potter for that matter... just like Dumbledore did before. Nothing has changed."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"The aurors are in shambles. They need bodies and if they think you are a half way competent, they are going to put you out in the field…and you especially since they think you have some sort of insider knowledge, which in itself shows me that the ministry is acting based on assumptions, not fact."

"I do have some knowledge though. I spent a lot of time with Voldemort."

"You were shielded significantly from any knowledge that could help you. Whether we want to admit it or not, he did protect you from his inner circle."

She swallowed hard, "Still, I know I can do this. Voldemort is gone, but there could be others that rise up to replace him."

"With Bellatrix dead, I seriously doubt that," Snape countered, "The aurors don't need _you_. You are letting others again derail your plan for the future. Voldemort might as well still be alive taking you as his mistress for all you are doing to ruin your future on your own."

Her mouth dropped opened, "Is that how you really feel?"

"I do," he said, evenly, "though maybe the last part came out a bit harsher than it was intended."

"Do you think?" she retorted, angrily.

"I stand by my objections, Sarah."

"You always supported me," her voice was low, "it feels like all the sudden you are turning on me since I didn't choose what you wanted me to."

"Not on you, but I don't have to be happy about what is going on," Snape said, his voice firm, "you are an adult and make your own decisions. I, as your father, have a right to say when I think it was poorly made and make no mistake, this decision was poorly made."

"It wasn't. They need me."

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself for the Order or the ministry or for Potter or for whomever comes calling anymore," Snape retorted, "Andi thinks we can get you out of your contract if you want."

"I don't want out of my contract," Sarah countered, "I made a commitment."

"You don't have the disposition to be an auror. I said that from day one."

"I guess I will have to develop that then," Sarah folded her arms, "Why are you attacking me here?"

"I'm not attacking. I'm simply offering you an alternate perspective. I know you better than they all do. You may have the talent in spades, but you don't have the drive or disposition for this because you don't truly want this."

"I do want this," Sarah said, standing, "I just wanted to tell you that I will be starting the academy next week."

"Sit back down," Snape reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down. "We aren't done."

"I am an adult now," Sarah folded her arms, "and if I want to be done with this, I can be done with this."

"I am still your father," Snape squeezed her knee, "and that position demands your respect, Sarah Grace." His voice was stern, causing her to pause.

"I do respect you," she said, slowly, "What would you like to talk about now?"

"I think it would better for you to move to Grimmauld Place since it would be more convenient with your training being in London."

"Are you kicking me out?" Sarah tried to push down the hurt she felt.

"No, of course not," Snape responded, "but with me returning to Hogwarts soon, I would rather us store up the house for the school year like we have done in the past."

"Okay," she stood again, "I'll start packing and let Harry know I'm moving in."

"Sarah, wait," Snape said, but this time, she left without turning back.

* * *

He gave her a few minutes before finding her. She wasn't packing, instead sitting crossed legged on her bed, leaning against her headboard, her pillow behind her back.

"Sarah, can I come in?"

"Sure," she quickly wiped away the traces of her tears.

Snape paused at the sight of her tears, "My intention wasn't to hurt you."

Her lip quivered, "I know. I suppose if I am to be an auror, I must have a tougher disposition than this."

"May I?" he asked, gesturing to her bed.

"Of course," she nodded and he sat down on the bed, facing her.

"You are strong, Sarah. You have proved that time and time again. You don't need my approval to continue to be strong."

"But I want it," her voice was soft.

He reached to nudge up her chin, gripping it with his fingers, "I love you. I want what is best for you. But if this is the path you are taking, I will support you through it." He told her, his voice firm, dropping his hand when he saw he had her attention, "And I am in no way kicking you out of our home. Wherever I am, you will always have a home with me. Your room will be waiting for you at Hogwarts if you need it…and I want you to visit and often."

She leaned forward to bury her head in his chest. "I hate disappointing you."

"I know," Snape said, quietly, reaching up to stroke her head, allowing her to rest against him, "but at the same time, I don't think you should make decisions because you want my approval. You have to do what you feel is right. You are an adult now. That being said, I don't think that you truly feel like this is right for you. I think you are giving up on your dreams because you don't think you deserve them. And I want you to remember that you do."

When she didn't respond, he continued, "I am also concerned for your safety, but I do know I have to let you go. And while I don't approve of you entering the aurors, I want you to know that if ever you need me, you can come to me…about anything you might be facing."

She lifted her head, "That means a lot."

He nodded, "I almost lost you, Sarah. And I almost died myself. I would never again sever our relationship willingly. You are my daughter and no matter what, that will always remain the same."

"I love you, Dad." She looked at him.

"I love you too."

"Will you help me pack?"

He nodded, "I'd be happy to."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Sarah Grace." He said, leaning over to kiss her head, affectionately, "but let's pack tomorrow. Let's go downstairs and have some hot chocolate and talk more."

"That sounds great," she responded, reaching to give him a hug. He held on tightly to her for a moment.

He was beginning to realize that parenting an adult was going to take a lot of discipline on his part to control his impulse to take control of the situation…and a lot of wisdom to know when to push and when to let go.

He took a breath, then let her go.

* * *

"Is that everything?" Snape asked. He swiped his wand enlarging the boxes that were now scattered over Sarah's room in Grimmauld Place.

"I think so," Sarah took stock. "though maybe I should have chosen a different room than Sirius's."

Snape reached to brush off some dust from the dresser. "Kreacher missed a spot."

Sarah laughed, "Don't tell him that, Dad."

Snape looked around, "It is definitely not your style, Sarah. Maybe you should paint."

"I can't bear to change any of it yet," Sarah admitted, sitting on the bed. "I think I will use my bedspread and linens though and that will help. Hang pictures…that sort of thing."

"Black wouldn't have wanted you to create such a memorial to him." Severus sat next to her, "he would have wanted you to make Grimmauld Place your home and that included making his room girly if you so desire."

She smiled, "I know, it's just too soon."

"It's been over two years, Sarah."

"I know. But still," Sarah leaned her head on his shoulder, "I'm not ready to completely change it. This room holds memories of my dad and it's almost all I have left."

"You have more memories than just what is in this house," Severus said.

"Not truly, so much of my time with Dad was in this house," Sarah countered, "And those that were not are just too hard to remember…the shrieking shack, him being on the run, that night at the ministry," she shuddered at the memory.

"I know," Snape reached up to smooth down her hair. She didn't make any move to remove her head from his shoulder, "I just want you to be comfortable in your home and this is your home now."

"I know."

"And if it was me, I would have wanted you to change my room to suit you."

"I know," She nodded, finally lifting her head, "And I know my dad would feel the same way. And maybe eventually I will. In the meantime, it's nice to feel close to him."

"Okay then," Snape said, "Let me help you unpack."

"No, that's okay," Sarah said, "It will take a while."

"I don't mind. You start the academy tomorrow. I would feel better knowing that you were settled in and not trying to unpack after a long day at work."

"Thank you then," Sarah said, reaching for her wand. "Let's do this."

It took a while, but Snape and her managed to get everything situated, including pictures on the dresser and wall, making it look a tad more like Sarah's room.

They had just finished when Harry popped his head in, "You're here."

"Harry," Sarah went over to give him a hug, "I'm hope I'm not intruding by moving in."

"It's your house too," Harry said, "honestly, more than mine."

"Is Ginny okay with this though?"

Harry shrugged, "If she is sensitive by our friendship, then it is something she has to work through."

"Potter is right," Severus offered, "And Miss Weasley has another year at Hogwarts to finish. She won't be around all that much."

"Unless she sneaks out of Hogwarts to visit Harry for clandestine meetings," Sarah offered, winking at Harry.

Snape cleared his throat, "I do hope you are teasing."

"Of course she is," Harry said, giving her a look, "And Gin wasn't the one known for sneaking out."

"Hey now," Sarah poked at him, "You are going to get me in trouble."

"You?" Harry laughed, "I was referring to myself."

She shifted, "Oh yeah, right."

"I think this is my cue to leave," Severus said.

Sarah looked over at him, "Do you have to?"

"It's getting late and I should. But remember, I am only a floo call away."

Sarah bit her lip, "I feel like I just got you back."

"This is really for the best, Black. But I meant what I said before, whatever you need, I'm here."

Sarah walked towards him and he opened his arms to pull her into his embrace.

"I'm really going to miss you," she said, against him.

"I suspect you will be homesick, but it is time," Snape told her. "You are an adult now." He turned to Harry, "Potter, take care of her."

"I will," Harry smiled at the sweet scene between the two of them.

Snape gave Sarah another kiss on the head and then pulled away, "Call if you need anything. I mean it. And good luck tomorrow, Sarah. You'll do brilliantly at the academy, I'm sure of it."

"Thank you, sir."

Snape nodded and then left without another word. Sarah's heart filled with sorrow, missing him instantly.

Harry's arm went around her, hugging her, "He really is close by."

"I know, but he almost died. And then he was facing prison and…it's hard leaving him."

"He probably feels the same way," Harry said, "actually, I'm sure of it."

She smiled at Harry, "How was the academy today?"

"It's hard work, Sarah," Harry sat down on her bed with her, "Physically and mentally taxing. But it is good work."

She nodded, "I'm excited to start. Do you think I'm too far behind?"

"No," Harry shook his head, "You'll catch up in no time."

"And is Gin really upset about me moving in here?"

Harry shrugged again, "I don't know. She has to trust me though."

"George said something while we were in Switzerland to imply that Gin doesn't like me being close to you."

"She's jealous," Harry admitted, somewhat sheepishly, "But she knows that you and I have been friends for the past 7 years and that we are close. I'm not changing our friendship because Gin is jealous. She has to trust me."

She nodded, "I suppose with Hermione it's different because she is so clearly in love with Ron."

"Yeah," Harry patted down his hair, "but she knows that you are still in love with Draco."

"It's about Fred then, isn't it?"

"Maybe a little," Harry responded, "but again, Sarah, I'm not ending our friendship because Gin has some negative feelings towards you. She'll adapt to us living together."

"If you say so," Sarah said, "being an adult is hard."

"So true," Harry chuckled, and then changed the subject.

* * *

The auror academy was difficult and Sarah struggled to keep up with the demands of the classes, especially with her starting late. Poisons and Antidotes were the easiest for her to excel in due to her talent in potions and years under Snape's tutelage had fine tuned her senses to where she could easy recognize the properties of poisons. And she was an expert in brewing her own antidotes as well as poisons. Harry and Ron struggled more with that aspect of their training, but the year on the run had trained them well for Stealth and Tracking, which Sarah, like her cousin before her, struggled more in. The course on magical jurisprudence was tedious, but Sarah enjoyed the academic nature of the subject all the same. Concealment and Disguise was more difficult for her, but still she succeeded in it. And of course, when they dueled against each other, there was hardly a student that could top her. Even Harry was bested by her on numerous occasions.

Snape and she talked on a weekly basis and had bimonthly dinners, even after he returned to Hogwarts, it reopening in the fall as planned.

It was on one such occasion that McGonagall ran into her outside of Snape's office.

"Sarah, it's good to see you," McGonagall smiled at her, "here to have dinner again?"

"Yes, I hope that is alright."

"Of course," McGonagall countered, "Professor Snape can miss a meal every so often in the Great Hall."

"Good, I do love spending time with him," she said.

"How is the academy going?" she asked, her eyes on her.

"Well," she nodded, "difficult, but I think I'm doing alright."

"I heard you are exceeding in everything. You and Potter both, except you beat Potter handily at dueling…not that I am surprised at that."

She shrugged, "I have had more training than him…as much as I hated him, Voldemort did teach me things. Of course I have to block out the darkness and just use the skills I learned."

"I see," McGonagall took her elbow, "Before you have dinner, I did want to talk to you about something."

"Alright," Sarah said, slowly, "Is everything okay?"

"I think," McGonagall said slowly, "but Lucius Malfoy gave up his board seat."

"What?" she asked, shocked, "why would he do that? His family has had a seat on the governing board for generations."

"Let me amend that," McGonagall said, "he gave up his board seat to the next generation of Malfoys."

"To Draco?" Sarah raised her eyebrow, "Isn't he young for that?"

"Indeed," McGonagall's response was curt, "But I think it is part of Lucius's plan to restore his good name. And since he is of age, it is all legal."

Sarah bit her lip, "Thank you for telling me."

"Your relationship with Mr. Malfoy is not entirely the reason I'm telling you this," McGonagall said, "he brought up a good point about the seventh year students from last year being able to complete their NEWT exams in order to procure admittance to further their education. The ministry and aurors have looked the other way, but for those students who wish to continue in academia, the NEWT exams are necessary. He specifically mentioned you as someone who might be interesting in taking the Potions NEWT exam."

"He did, did he?"

"Now, Sarah," McGonagall put a hand on her arm, "you know how I feel about Malfoy, but he does make a good point. If you ever in the future wish to continue on with your education, this is necessary to have on your record."

"Do you think Snape put him up to this?" she asked, quietly.

"Severus?" McGongall asked, surprised, "No, I think this was all Malfoy's idea. I think your father knows that you have chosen your path. Still, it would be good to keep your options open for the future."

"The academy classes are a lot of work," she said, "I would need to study before I can take the potions exam."

"It is next month, if you are interested. Think about it." McGonagall patted her arm.

Sarah nodded, "Can we not tell Snape about this though?"

"The exams are anonymous. He wouldn't have to know."

"Good," Sarah smiled, "I'll let you know."

She left McGonagall to have dinner with Snape, not mentioning any of this to him. But when she got home, she reached for her poisons and antidotes text to do some studying, when she paused. She stared at it contemplatively for a few moments, before pushing it aside, and summoning her potions text from her trunk. She flipped it open and smiled. And that weekend, when Harry asked her if she wanted to go to the pub with Ron and Hermione, she declined, instead opting to practice brewing, sharpening her skills. She studied at night and on the weekend, trying to balance her academy work with studying for the NEWT.

She sat for the exam the next month, the hardest potions exam of her life. She managed to brew the potions assigned successfully and she hoped that her practical portion would be enough to manage a good mark even if her written portion was weaker. And then she left, slept all day the next day and continued with the academy, focusing her studies back to that. None of this she mentioned to Snape though and life continued on.

Snape was right in regards to the ministry pushing candidates through the academy at a vastly accelerated rate. The holidays were approaching when Harry was called in to take his exit exams from the academy, which he surprisingly passed with no issue. She was called in the next week to the same result.

However, on Christmas Eve, the day when she officially was initiated into the aurors, she was called into Robards's office.

"Black," Robards's voice was gruff, "there has been a development." A file was sent flying towards her which she caught easily.

She shifted and glanced at Harry, whose face gave nothing away.

"What is this?"

"Voldmort's will appeared today on my desk."

"Voldemort's will…On your desk," Sarah repeated, shocked, "Where has this been?"

"It was charmed to be revealed on the day that _you_ became an auror."

"On the day I became an auror?" Sarah gasped, "How did he even know I would become an auror?"

"Apparently, he knew you better than we thought he did. Is there anything you would like to tell us about the nature of your relationship?"

"I have been asked multiple times. I did not have a relationship with him."

"Apparently, he thought otherwise. Read it. It's quite shocking."

She opened the file and then her mouth dropped open, "He didn't."

"Apparently, he did," Harry said, quietly, "It's all yours."

"Oh damn him!" she cursed, "I don't want it."

"Of course you don't," Robards said, "but it's yours anyway. The bastard is still harassing you from the grave."

She grimaced, "Who knows about this?"

"Only the officials that are highest in the ministry. We are keeping this as privileged information, though you should know that Snape has already been pulled in to be questioned about this, so he knows."

"There is no way he would have known about this previously without telling me."

"We know that…we were more curious about his motives for naming you his heir. It seems like an odd choice, but Snape has indicated that Voldemort liked planning these mind games with you and this is his way of continuing it from beyond the grave."

"But he was so confident he would win this war," Sarah said, her voice hoarse, "why would he even do this?"

"It was his contingency plan. Snape did indicate that he had several wills in place for several different scenarios. It seems likely that this one he did…as I said, to harass you. A joke of sorts," Robards said as he planted both his hands on his desk, "His assets are in ministry custody. The minister has agreed that you should have that money moved to your vault."

"Bloody hell, I don't want his money!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Give it to charity then, Black," Robards snapped. "I'm not interested in that. His manor…that is what we need…and that is where you and Potter come in."

"What about his manor?"

"Since his death, his manor has been impenetrable. His wards are strong and will only allow one person to access it. It's all laid out in the will."

"Not even his followers?" Harry asked, surprised.

"No, upon his death, the protective charms were enacted. The only person who has the power to take down the charms…to penetrate his wards…well, that's also abundantly clear in his will…that person is you."

"Oh Merlin," Sarah groaned, "Really?"

"Potter will go with you. Retrieve anything we can use as evidence and report back. It may take a few days."

"Are we to stay at his manor during that time?"

"I believe that is the easiest way," Robards said, "but do be careful. I don't know what other kind of traps are there once you are inside. We want to do this quietly, which is why I am only sending you and Potter. Best not draw attention to it. Once you are there though, you need to reenact the charms…we don't think his followers know about this, but we aren't completely certain. Now, go pack and don't forget to report back. Welcome to the aurors."

"Yes, sir, Thank you, sir" Harry and Sarah both murmured and then together left his office. Once outside, Sarah turned to Harry. "He was going to draw me into his manor one way or another…"

"Seems like it," Harry said.

"He's manipulating me from beyond the grave."

"Only if you let him," Harry said, his voice low.

"Sorry this ruins your Christmas too," she said, quietly.

"One year we will get a good Christmas," Harry put his arm around her.

"I suppose this year is just another Christmas adventure with Voldemort," she said, wryly, "at least Nagini isn't there to bite you again."

"Isn't that the truth?" Harry smiled at her, "Let's go pack."

She took a breath and followed Harry. She didn't know what this adventure would bring, her inaugural assignment as an auror…but one thing was for certain, she was weary about going into his manor. Voldemort had a way of getting to her, of throwing her off balance, of causing her to question herself, and she doubted it would be any different from the grave. One thing was for certain, she was talking to Snape about this before she left.

Snape...

It broke her heart to miss Christmastime with him...but she knew as an auror, she would have to get used to sacrificing family time for her work. And this was only the start.

A/N: It's seems that more people are enjoying Love At Your Darkest, which has really fueled my writing process with that story...and why this seems to be lagging behind. This one also seems harder to write for some reason! If you get a chance, let me know what you think!


	7. The Surprise

**Chapter 7: The Surprise**

Sarah was tossing clothes into her small black and white damask printed overnight bag when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she said, opening another drawer.

"Sarah," Snape's face was grave, "I received your message that you wanted to see me," he said as he stood at her door.

She turned towards him, allowing her emotions to be raw for a minute, "Dad, why would he do this?" she asked, incredulously. Her voice caught and tears formed in her eyes. Feeling herself unraveling, she took a deep, soothing breath and managed to wipe the emotions from her face.

Snape sighed. He had taught her to do just that...to wipe away her emotions when she felt herself becoming vulnerable...but still he never truly wanted her to do that with _him_. He walked over to where she was standing in the middle of room, a pink jumper in her hands.

He removed the jumper, tugging it out of her hands to fold it and then walk over and place it in her bag. "We need to magically expand this if you will be there a few days. And you are right to pack sweaters…his manor will be drafty this time of year, especially since it has remained unused for months." He swiped his wand and then placed the jumper in the bag.

He moved the bag out of the way and sat on her bed and then patted the spot next to him, "Come sit and we will talk, Sarah," he said, his voice steady.

She immediately moved beside him to sit on the bed. "Why did he do this?" she repeated her question.

"I tend to subscribe to Robards' view of the matter…he is trying to goad you from the grave."

"But why would he care?"

Snape paused for a few moments, "I believe his obsession with you ran deeper than we first thought. It's why Bellatrix made it her personal mission to destroy you. She saw the affection there and was threatened by it."

"Why?"

"I know the reasons why you were targeted by him…your blood lines being foremost, wanting to get at Potter through you, but also I think he was drawn to you, personally for whatever reason…you spent so many nights with him...in his company," Snape cleared his throat at the way that sounded, "I think it was because you intrigued him."

"Him willing the manor and his money to me makes it seem like we actually had a relationship."

"I think," Snape said, steadily, "that was his point...to send you a message that though your relationship never reached a physical level, there was still a connection there."

"A connection? she frowned and absently began to chew on her thumb and then she dropped it to her side, "He hated when I did that."

"Ah, yes, nervous habits show your weakness," Snape said, with a nod. "But he isn't here, Sarah Grace. You can be free to be whoever you need or want to be now."

"I know that," Sarah dismissed.

"Do you truly?" Snape turned her head towards him and looked her in the eyes.

"Of course," she said with a nod, "and I think he is making too much over our _connection."_

 _"_ It's okay to admit that he duped you, Sarah Grace," Snape said, gently, "you can admit that to me."

"I hardly think it was that bad," Sarah grunted, "perhaps, I was conflicted at times."

"Of course you were. He was...well, tamer with you...than with others. And he sought to understand you, which I think drew you to him...in moments of weakness...which _we all have_."

Sarah was silent for a few moments, "Dad, no offense, but I can't really talk about him in this way. Not when I have a job to do. I need you to prepare me for this," Sarah turned towards him, "what do I need to know?"

"They'll be charms for sure," Snape said, "safeguards in place. You'll need to figure out a way to bypass them. Assume nothing."

"Okay," Sarah let out her breath, "this could be challenging."

"Which is why I am so surprised the aurors sent you and Potter to do this mission," Severus raised his eyebrows.

"I have to go…I'm the way in," Sarah said.

"I realize that, but you could have just allowed the others to enter, not done the entire mission on your own," Severus countered.

"I'll be fine, Dad," Sarah responded, trying to sound confident.

"I'm sure," Snape replied, trying to sound confident as well, "but I worry about you, Sarah Grace. I am your father."

She leaned over to kiss his cheek, "I'm sorry this is a christmas away from home."

"We'll celebrate when you return," Snape reassured her, "we'll do it up right…a tree, decorations and everything."

"I'd like that," Sarah said, quietly, "a lot."

He put his arm around her, "and I as well." He made no move to drop his arm and she rested her head, wearily against him. "I would say there are several rooms worth checking. His bedroom, Bellatrix's room, the library, his personal study. Those would probably have the materials you are interested in."

"I really could do without these constant reminders of him," Sarah said, quietly, "the moment I feel like I can move on, he blindsides me again, Dad."

"I know, little girl," Snape said, reaching up to clasp the side of her head with his hand, rubbing it gently, "but you must wrap her head around the fact that he no longer has a hold over you. Remember that when you are there."

"I wish you could come with me," Sarah admitted, "I really do."

"As do I," Snape said, "but you don't need me to. You can do this. Harry will be there."

Sarah sighed heavily, "I should finish packing."

Snape eased her off the bed, "I'll help you."

"Thanks, Dad," Sarah said, as she reached for another shirt, "for everything."

"Anytime, Sarah Grace," Snape said, easily.

* * *

Sarah stood at the entrance to Voldemort's manor, her wand in hand. She could feel the magic surrounding the place, the charms crackling and preventing them entrance.

"Now what?" Harry studied the blue light emitted ahead of them. "Robards said there were instructions in the will, but I found them rather cryptic."

"They were," Sarah nodded, "but it did say that I would be permitted entrance."

"What are you going to do?"

"We need to know what we are facing," Sarah said as she took a tentative step forward but a wall of water rushed towards them as she made contact with the charms, "Oh Merlin," Sarah grunted as she and Harry rushed back and the water trickled off.

"Water?" Sarah turned to Harry, incredulously, "he was more into fire, than water."

An envelope popped in front of her and Sarah snatched it out of the air yet she made no move to open it.

"Go on and open it," Harry encouraged and Sarah tore open the envelope and pulled out the parchment.

She quickly scanned it, then groaned and gave it to Harry.

Harry read it aloud,

 _Dearest One,_

 _If you are reading this, then I have failed. It seems impossible, does it not? That a mere boy could truly be my undoing. But apparently, I miscalculated things. But not this. If you are here, than you became an auror. How did I know that you would become an auror? It's simple. I know you. I understand you. More than any one else does…"_

Harry turned towards her, "he's daft."

"Yeah," she agreed, "Snape totally gets me better than him."

Harry paused and frowned, "I'd like to think some of your mates know you better than him as well."

"You do," Sarah reassured him, "Of course you do. I didn't mean it like that. Go on."

 _To gain entrance, all you have to do is remember what I taught you that one night at Snape Manor. Do not disappoint me now._

 _LV_

Harry crumpled up the parchment. "What do you think he means?"

Sarah gripped her wand more tightly, "I know exactly what he means. You need to back up now, Harry. But when the charm breaks, you need to be ready to come through with me."

"Got it," Harry replied.

He did as she said and she stepped forward to make contact with the charms, but when the wall of water hit, she swiped her wand, wielding her power to match the water with a wall of dark fire, them meeting and swirling into the air…she felt it pushing her back but she stood her ground and the fire was too strong for the water…and then it was over…"Hurry Harry," she said as the fire as well as the water disappeared. Harry stepped across the charms with her.

"So, we best not put that in the report," Harry said.

"I did what I had to do," Sarah countered, "they want this information, don't they?"

"Maybe that was his plan to get you sacked for using dark magic," Harry suggested.

Sarah shrugged, "I don't think so."

They climbed the steps to the door. She reached for the handle, but it was locked.

She turned, "The will didn't mention anything about a key."

"A question for you, dear one," the door began to talk, and it was Voldemort's voice.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," Sarah squeaked when she heard his voice again, her heart hammering. She forced herself to remember that he was dead and this was just a charm.

" _When did you say you care about my best interest?"_

Her mind was immediately drawn to the conversation they had so long ago. He had asked her that same question and she answered it honestly.

"When it coincides with my own," she said, confidently.

 _Where were you when you discovered your baby move?_

"With you, my Lord," Sarah supplied.

Harry looked over at her, surprised.

"Sorry," Sarah cringed at her address error, "it's a habit…and a bad one at that."

The door clicked open and Sarah walked through with Harry. She turned around and raised her wand, putting up additional charms for safety.

"Those will give us warning if somehow others can get through," she said, taking a breath, looking around.

"You have been here before, yes?"

"I was so scared, Harry, I didn't take in my surroundings well," Sarah told him. "Snape said there is a private study in addition to a library. That might be a good place to look and of course, his bedroom and Bella's room."

"Let's start upstairs then," Harry said and started up the stairs, his wand extended.

Sarah turned around, her wand lit, checking out her surroundings before following him up the massive amounts of stairs onto the landing. She again looked over his shoulder as Harry took tentative steps down the hallway, not sure what he would find. He pushed opened a door, "Guest room," he said. He continued down the hall until he stopped, "I think this is it…that is, I remember seeing this in my dreams."

He went in and turned on the lights. Sarah's eyes adjusted to the light and she stood in the middle of Voldemort's room. A large bed filled the room and rich colors of blue, greens and dark woods filled the room. There was a desk on one side, a closet on the other. A nightstand, a lamp. She walked over to the nightstand and reached for the top book in the stack. It was a potions journal, much like the one Snape subscribed too. She put it down and turned her head to where Harry had gone to the closet, turning on the light and she could see the familiar articles of clothing that she was so used to him wearing.

Harry motioned to the lavatory and Sarah turned on the light of the large lavatory, checking to make sure nobody was there. His toothpaste was still sitting on the counter where he had left it last.

And standing there in Voldemort's room, the same room she knew that if Harry had lost, she would have been forced to submit to Voldemort as a lover, she was suddenly confronted by his humanity. And that feeling was overwhelming.

"Sarah," Harry came up beside her, "What is it?"

"I…I need a minute," she said, quietly. "It's cold in here. I'm going to see if I can find a thermostat in the hallway. The ministry said the utilities never were disconnected, yes?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, then, I'll be back."

She went into the hallway and clicked the door closed. She shined her wand down the hallway before she heard the the tell tale crack of apparition. Her wand immediately came forward as she prepared for the worst, but it was only a house elf.

"Are you mistress Sarah?" the house elf asked.

"I'm Sarah," Sarah tried to keep her voice calm, but still it shook from the surprise the house elf gave her, "What's your name?"

"Tom," the house elf responded, solemnly.

"Tom?!" Sarah squeaked, aghast, "no way."

"Yes, master thought his muggle name suited the lowest of us creatures, so he named me Tom, that's because I'm head of the house elves here."

"Alright," Sarah said, shaking her head slowly in disbelief. "What are the others named?"

"There's Albus and Andromeda but that one Mistress Bellatrix named…" his eyes grew wide at the name of Bellatrix.

"Did he name them after members of the Order?" Sarah asked, quietly.

"Yes," Tom nodded, solemnly, "because they are the lowest of all the wizards."

"I see," Sarah said in a clipped voice. "Any named after me?"

Tom shook his head, swiftly, "No, of course not, mistress. Master often spoke of your great beauty and your skill."

"My great beauty?" Sarah asked, her voice shaky.

"Yes, ma'am, but never in front of Mistress Bellatrix, no, the master was not foolish," Tom replied.

"Is everyone of you alright?" Sarah asked, kindly. "It's been months on your own."

Tom nodded, "We can take care of ourselves, but now that you are here, we are supposed to take care of you."

"That's not necessary," Sarah said, quickly.

"But it is, Mistress. Master would have insisted," Tom said.

"Okay, Tom," Sarah said, knowing how futile it would be to argue with a house elf over their duties, "Would you help me figure out where the thermostat is. It's chilly in here."

"If we knew you were coming, we would have prepared," Tom said, reaching to slap himself, but Sarah held up her hand.

"It was my fault,I should have alerted you," Sarah said.

Tom walked down a few steps and flipped up the thermostat, "I can tell Minerva to start fires in the rooms. Would you like to stay in Mistress Bella's room?"

"No," Sarah shook her head, "The guest room is fine."

"I will tell them, but Master insisted if you ever came here, that I was to show you this… Come with me, Mistress."

Sarah turned around to look back at where Harry had stood at the doorway, hearing this conversation. "Tom, this is my friend, Harry."

"Ah, Master also said if he was dead, you would bring him here," Tom did not look pleased, "No matter. He can come too."

Sarah stepped down the stairs, following the house-elf and almost tripped, but Tom reached out his hand to steady her, "Watch your step, Mistress."

"Um, thank you, Tom," She paused, glancing at Harry, "Tom, how did the master treat you?"

"As good as can be expected considering what we were," Tom answered, his voice short.

"Was he cruel?" Sarah asked, quietly.

"At times, but at times he was kind. He always healed," Tom said, "Don't you know?"

She nodded, "I know," she said, simply.

"Here first," Tom pushed open a room adjacent to the library. He flicked on the light and Sarah's eyes adjusted again.

She inhaled sharply, "What is this?"

"It was to be his gift to you when he took you as his mistress. Said you would need it."

Sarah looked around the small room, outfitted with counter space and burners, cauldrons, and other supplies neatly organized. "It's a potions lab," she said, quietly.

Harry stepped up to put his arm around her waist, "he's getting into your head again,Sarah," he said, his voice firm, "He doesn't have power over you. Not anymore."

Sarah felt like she had been punched in her stomach, "Tom," she turned to the house-elf, "can you get me some water? please?"

"Right away, mistress," he popped away.

Sarah turned to Harry, "Why…if he was so evil…and we know that he was…why would he bother with this…for me?"

"Sarah," Harry's face was pained, "it was only to manipulate you."

"He had toothpaste on his lavatory counter. He had tissues next to his bed. He had potions journals that he was reading. And he made me this…" Sarah's voice was strained, "I was conflicted about him with the way he was treating me."

"He abused you, Sarah," Harry's voice rose, "he tried to kill Snape. He killed me for all purposes."

"I know," Sarah coughed, "I know, okay? I do know. But there were times, Harry, when that note…what he said in the note was true. He did understand me. And he was so bloody brilliant."

"Look," Harry gripped her arm, "Listen to me. So what if he made you this potions lab? He still would have forced you to have sex with him. He would have raped you time and time again until you had his bloody child, Sarah."

"I know that," Sarah sniffled. "And every portion me hated that thought. It's just so much easier to think of him as this evil incarnate instead of…well, human...and when I started to see his...humanity is when I got so confused."

Harry opened his mouth again, but Tom appeared with a glass of water, which Sarah gratefully took and drank slowly.

"Thank you," Sarah said.

"Are you ready, Mistress Sarah?" Tom asked.

"For what?"

"Master has another surprise for you," Tom said, ushering her out of the room, Harry following behind. Tom pushed opened the door to Voldemort's study, where a fire roared in the fireplace.

" _Do you like it?"_

Sarah squealed, jumping in surprise. "Oh for Merlin's sake, seriously?" she gasped, "What the hell?"

"Now, now, as an auror I would expect you to be more steady on your feet," Voldemort looked out at her from his portrait, disapprovingly, "But I do suppose they will take anyone these days."

Sarah didn't respond, only stand there stiffly, her wand in her hand. Harry's stood behind her, his mouth agape.

"Tom informs me it is Christmas. Do you like your surprise, Sarah Grace?" Voldemort continued. "I couldn't leave this world…you especially…not entirely…not without leaving my imprint."

Sarah swallowed hard, "You already left your imprint! You didn't have to do this!" she gestured around, "Snape didn't mention anything about a portrait."

"Now, dearest, you know how these portraits work. Snape wouldn't have known that I had it commissioned…on a whim…when I returned," he looked at him with destain, "a wise maneuver consider this one was destroying my horcruxes. I also created magic…rare magic that would insert my memory into here upon my death, so I would be able to speak to you intimately, my dear."

She ignored that last part, "So this was a contingency plan?"

"Of sorts," Voldemort nodded, "I still must have my influence on you."

"Well, I have news for you," Sarah said, angrily, "I have come on a mission…to gather enough evidence to hunt down the rest of your followers. All of this is over! Done!"

"You need me," Voldemort said, his voice even.

"I don't need you," Sarah said, vehemently.

"I have information. You need my mind," Voldemort said. "I preserved my mind for you."

"The ministry can take you, then because I don't need you," Sarah retorted. "I will never come back here after I'm done."

"You won't give me to the ministry," Voldemort said, his voice low.

"Yes, we will," Harry finally found his voice.

"No, Potter, you will not," Voldemort responded, "because then I tell the ministry what this little one is capable of…the missions she went on…the house elves she tortured at my command…and how night after night, she would willingly sit with me. She quite craved my company. It would destroy her reputation that I'm sure she has now…how does the wizarding community view her? a victim? a hero perhaps?"

"She didn't go on missions…not willingly."

Voldemort shrugged, "I just have to plant doubt. I already know how this has played out…they keep questioning her, don't they, Potter? They already think she and I had an inappropriate relationship, though she denies it. I just have to plant enough doubt, insinuation, and she is in Azkaban."

Sarah cleared her throat, "He's staying here, Harry," she said, adamantly.

"Sarah," Harry was incredulous.

"I'm not giving him the satisfaction or the attention that he so craves from beyond the grave," Sarah said, "and he does know things that can be dangerous not just for me, but for Snape and Draco. Moreover, it doesn't matter because I will never come here again, so I am afraid you are in for lonely days."

Sarah strolled over to Voldemort's desk and sat down. She began to sort through the papers.

Harry looked at her, questioning, but she looked up to meet her eyes, "Can you search the library? I'll sort through things here."

"I'm not sure I should leave you alone with him," Harry said, frowning at the portrait.

Sarah waved her hand at him, dismissively. "He's harmless. What can he do?"

Harry gave her a long look, but then left them alone. Sarah pulled open the middle desk drawer.

"If you could tell me what you are looking for, then perhaps, I could help you," Voldemort said.

"I don't need your help," she retorted, "And I don't quite know what I'm looking for."

She pulled out a stack of papers and began to sort through them, frowning.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Voldemort's voice was low, "You look perturbed."

"This is all nonsense," she admitted.

"It is charmed to be so," Voldemort countered.

"I'm sure the aurors can sort through your charms later," Sarah retorted.

"Or I could tell you," he offered.

She planted her hands on his desk and turned around. "And why would you do that? You have lost the war, but I assume you still believe in the cause…or at least your mind does."

"I want to help you," Voldemort said.

"Just stop," she held up her hand, "you are not a part of my life anymore. You don't have an influence."

"Mrs. Malfoy," he growled at her.

"I'm not Mrs. Malfoy anymore," Sarah shot back, "so stop calling me that."

He raised an eyebrow, "I see this is a sensitive topic. Would you like to talk?"

"Not really."

"Then," Voldemort folded his hands, "let me guess. Let's see. You lost the Malfoy heir and Lucius and Narcissa pressured Draco into divorcing you…and since Draco doesn't have a spine, he did so…is that close?"

She grunted, "yeah, pretty much, I guess."

"He's never been good enough for you," Voldemort retorted, adamantly, "I never did understand what you saw in him. You need a man, Sarah, not a boy."

"I'm over it," she said, dismissively.

"Are you truly?" Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "Are you over me too?"

She paused and then looked into the portrait's eyes, "I was until you decided to make me your heir. Why would you do that?"

"I told you I would have the last word," Voldemort said.

"I need to go find Harry," she said, with a grunt.

"Too much for you…too soon," Voldemort said, knowingly.

"No," she countered, her eyes heated.

"Perhaps, you need some rest. It is getting late. You can sleep in my bed if you'd like," he said, "it's where you always belonged."

"I'm sending Harry in to deal with you,"she said, exasperated, her hand on her hip.

"How is he going to deal with me?" Voldemort laughed.

"I don't know if you remember this but Harry and I have lots of practice with annoying, combative portraits…my grandmother Black for instance?"

He laughed, "I'll see you soon, dear one."

She walked away without another word.

* * *

"Everything is encrypted," Harry said the next morning at breakfast. The house elves had made them a delicious breakfast or eggs, bacon and toast. Tom seemed truly pleased that the house was bustling again…even if it was just Harry and herself.

"The ministry can sort it out. Our assignment was simply to gather the relevant files. We still have so much more to do," she sighed.

"Still, if he is willing to tell us…"

"He may only be a portrait, but he can still harm us. He knows too much. The ministry doesn't have all of Snape's secrets, Harry. I need Snape."

"Okay," Harry said, slowly, "So we don't tell them about the portrait?"

"Exactly," Sarah nodded, "there are charms all over the manor to keep intruders out. And frankly, I can charm his portrait so I can only access it, which I won't do…ever again."

"You seem upset by this," Harry said, quietly. "being here…it's upending you."

"if we had lost, I would have been here far more," Sarah said, tapping her fingers on the table, absently, "It's that knowledge and also, he emotionally and mentally, well, there are issues…"

"What kind of issues?" Harry asked, quietly, wiping his mouth with a napkin and placing it aside.

"I told you at Shell Cottage…he was getting to me," Sarah responded, "and I will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life."

"I don't follow," Harry said, confused.

"As much as I tried to deny him, I let him in…emotionally. And he knows that…this is what this is all about," she said, quietly.

Harry reached over to take her hand, "He manipulated you, Sarah, for that to happen."

"Yes, I do know that, but still I allowed it to happen," She said, "we can't give the ministry the portrait…he's right even the implication of a deeper relationship between me and him would be enough to ruin my life."

"So we stay nothing," Harry said, quietly.

"We say nothing," Sarah confirmed. But they both wondered if this was truly the best choice for them. They were quiet for a few minutes, "I'm sorry if this puts you in a bad position," she offered.

He waved her off, "You made a lot of sacrifices for me throughout the years. I can make this one for you."

She nodded her acceptance. "Happy Christmas by the way."

He squeezed her hand, "Happy Christmas, Paddy."

She finished her orange juice, swallowing the rest in a gulp, "Let's go, Harry. The sooner we can sort through all these things, the sooner I can get home to Snape and have a real Christmas. The less time spent here the better in my opinion."

"You go on," Harry said, "I'll finish my coffee and then join you. We'll come up with a strategy for our hunt."

"Great," she smiled at him and left the room. But after she left, Harry sat there for a while, deep in thought, worried about his friend.


	8. The Holidays

**A/N:** Last update before our holidays...but an extra long one...Hope everyone has a happy holiday!

 **Warning:** Strong T for sexual content.

ALOT of Draco in this chapter btw, and Sarah/Sev! Enjoy!

 **Chapter 8: The Holidays**

"Dad!" Sarah called as she stood in the foyer to Snape Manor, trying to she juggle her bag and the multiple packages in her arms, "Dad, are you home?"

"Sarah Grace," Snape came out of the kitchen and then rushed forward to help her with her parcels and her bag before she dropped them. "Did you think to shrink any of this?" he lectured, mildly.

"No," She sighed, "I'm so tired, I can barely think."

He took her bag from her, sending it up stairs with a flick of his wand, "Did you sleep any?"

"Some, but sleeping in the room adjacent to Voldemort's didn't lead to good night sleep," she said, wryly, "And five days of that was long enough!"

He took the garment bag, "What is this?"

She stepped into the sitting room and put her packages down on the couch, "I had to go shopping."

"Whatever for?"

"Your present for one," She admitted, "and then…well, there's this," She took the garment bag from Snape and unzipped the bag to reveal a flowing v-necked sleeveless gown, silver in color. Its beads and crystals on the bodice and on the full skirt shimmered in the light.

"What's that for?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Apparently, when Harry and I dropped off all the evidence at the Auror office, the ministry New Year's Eve party is tomorrow night and Harry and I… well… being Harry and I are expected to be there. It's a masked ball and pretty big deal I gather."

"Fun," Snape said, dryly. "How much money did that cost?"

"Too much," she admitted, "but I used some of the funds from my divorce."

"You mean the money the Malfoys used to keep you quiet after you published that article?" Snape countered.

"Yes," Sarah rolled her eyes and the reached for her wand in her purse and banished everything to her room, "I didn't have anything to wear, so, yeah, I had to go shopping. I have some dresses from last year, but I can't bear to wear anything that I wore at one of Voldemort's parties," she admitted. "Anyway, I actually got a pretty good deal on it because I dropped that I would be attending the party with Harry."

"Miss Weasley won't be there?" Snape asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't think she was pleased that Harry spent Christmas away again," she shrugged, "So, he's taking me and you won't believe where they are having it, Dad!" she said, her hand on her hip.

"Malfoy Manor?" he asked, frowning.

"Yes, how Lucius does it, I'll never know," she said, exasperated, as Snape helped her take off her heavy wool coat and send it to the coat rack. She had already slipped off her shoes in the entrance way. "It's ridiculous. Anyway, since it is there, I want to be confident in what I am wearing."

"I have no doubt you will be anything but confident. It is lovely," Severus assured her.

"Thanks," she took a breath and let it out.

Snape put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him for a hug, "How are you, Sarah?"

She leaned against him and sighed heavily.

"That bad?" Snape asked, patting her back.

Her lip trembled, "Yeah," her voice cracked.

"Tea is on," he said, pulling her away, but not before a kiss on the head, "Let's go in the study and talk. Then you can rest this afternoon."

She turned her head towards the sitting room, "You got a tree."

"It's all ready for you to decorate….later…when you are feeling up to it," he insisted. "Go wash your face and meet me in the study. There is a fire going and I'll bring the tea and biscuits. You need something in your stomach before napping."

"Thanks, Dad," she said, gratefully.

He nodded. She ran off to wash her face in the small lavatory downstairs and then made her way to the study. She reached for the afghan and plopped on the sofa, her feet up.

"You look cozy," Snape said, as Wiggles brought in the tea. He poured a cup for her, mixing sugar and milk in it. He handed it to her with a biscuit. He had his, without sugar or milk and went to sit on the sofa, him nudging her legs out of the way. She dropped them to the floor to give him room to sit next to her.

"No, your feet should be up," he said, "I don't mind," he adjusted her legs so they dropped over him, allowing her to still stretch.

"Thanks," she yawned and then took a sip.

"You look shattered," Snape commented.

"It's been more draining than I thought," She admitted.

"Something specific or just in general?"

Sarah frowned, biting her lip.

"What is it?," Snape titled his head.

"I have to tell you something that Harry and I are keeping from the ministry."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "Go on," he instructed.

"Voldemort had commissioned a portrait."

"Oh for Merlin's sake," Snape grunted, patting her legs, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she tried to assure him, "It was just hard seeing him again."

"Why aren't you telling the ministry?" he asked, "you need to turn it over."

"Dad, he threatened to tell the ministry about our relationship…well, to manipulate it to look like we had a more intimate relationship than we did if I turned the portrait over…and then he knows things about you and Draco. He had spelled his mind and memory into the portrait. He could do a lot of damage for us. He's better where he is at."

"I see your point," Snape said, quietly, "Still, Sarah, you could get in an awful lot of trouble for keeping that secret…you and Harry both."

"I know," she sighed, "I just don't know a way around it."

HIs eyes studied her, "You aren't going to go back there, are you?"

She shook her head, swiftly, "No, I'm not."

"Do you promise me, Sarah Grace?" Snape's voice was low. "I need your word."

She took another sip, "Of course, Dad. Why would I?"

"I don't know…he drew you in once before," Snape said, "and he can do it again from beyond the grave."

"It's not happening. I know who he is, Dad. I'm not conflicted anymore," she said, but then her voice faded, "though he had toothpaste on his lavatory counter…and books by his nightstand…and he made me a potions lab."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "And you are not conflicted?"

"It was like I was confronted by his humanity…that's all I'm saying," she shrugged, "he was an evil git and I'm glad he is gone," she declared, nibbling on her biscuit.

"Good," Snape continued to study her, his look discerning.

"Relax, Dad. I really am fine. I just wanted you to know."

"Thank you for telling me," Snape said, quietly, "You didn't have to, you know."

"I wanted to," Sarah said, "I don't want to keep these big things from you anymore. And you are the one person on this earth that I trust the most. And who understands me the best."

"You flatter me," he leaned over to ruffle her hair, "I'm glad you wanted to tell me."

She nodded and then yawned again, "I think I am going to go take that nap."

"You should do that," Snape said, "your bed is all ready for you. I might be away when you wake up."

"Oh really?" Sarah asked, "where are you going?"

"That," he patted her legs and then swung them off his lap, "is none of your business, little girl. I will be back though."

"I might do some baking."

"I figured," he nodded, "I got some ingredients for your mum's cookie recipe. And left the recipe on the counter for you."

"Thanks, Dad. It's so good to be home." She said as he helped her stand up and then reached to wrap her around around him, laying her head on his chest, needing to be close to him.

"And it's good to have you home," he murmured, squeezing her tightly. He had been so worried about her though he tried to not let on. He was glad she was safely out of there and back home. He didn't know how he would survive the next few years with her as an auror. It went against every fiber in him not to want to protect her from those dangers she was going to face. He wished he could force her into giving this up, but he knew he had to let her make her mistakes. He just hoped that this one wouldn't cost her life.

* * *

"Hello Andromeda," Snape said, when she opened the door, Teddy Lupin in her arms.

"Sev!" Andi smiled, brightly, "This is a surprise."

"A welcome one, I hope?"

"Of course. Come in out of the cold."

"Thanks," Severus nodded at her, a small parcel in his hand, "It is chilly out here."

Andi shifted Teddy to her other hip, "Come sit by the fire then. I'm glad you came by."

Sev took off his coat and sat by the fire in Andi's small cottage. Andi sat across from him, bouncing Teddy on her lap.

"Is Lupin gone again?"

"Yes, he had some auror business to attend to," Andi said, "but I don't mind the extra time with my grandson."

"He seems like a very agreeable child," Severus acknowledged.

Andromeda laughed, "Yes, he is, Sev," she looked over at him, "What do you have there?"

"A thank you," Severus said, leaning forward and extending the package in her direction.

"You didn't have to do that," Andromeda stood and reached for the package.

"I know," Severus said, "But I was lonely without Sarah on Christmas night and your visit really did mean the world to me."

"I was so glad to come," Andromeda said, trying to juggle Teddy and the present. "It was a hard day for me too without Ted and Nymphadora and it was good to be with someone who understands grief," she said.

"I do understand it, Andi." Severus's voice was low, "All too well."

Her lip trembled as their eyes met, "I can't wait to see what this is," she schooled her features and juggled Teddy again, trying to unwrap it while still holding the baby. Teddy began to fuss.

"Here, I can hold Teddy while you unwrap it," Severus said, standing and reaching for the boy.

"You," Andi's look was pointed, "with a baby?" She handed him over anyway.

He took the baby and sat down again. He began to bounce Teddy, the boy facing him. He talked quietly to him, but then he realized that Andromeda was not unwrapping her present, but watching him with Teddy. "Don't act so surprised, Andromeda," he said, dryly, "I did raise Sarah."

"When she was older," Andi inclined her head, "I didn't think you liked babies. You certainly scared older children enough."

"Your Granny is just so funny," Severus said, sarcastically, but then made a face at Teddy who then rewarded him with a giggle. "If you must know, I wasn't really given a choice when Sarah was a baby. If I could go back, I wish I knew her all along. Her first smile, her first steps," his voice faded and then became gruff, "Enough of this. Open your present, Andi," he told her.

"I'm sorry," Andi smiled, "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Severus waved her off, "I know I have a reputation that proceeds me. I'm just telling you, it's not all true."

"Oh, I know that," Andi said, unwrapping the present, "Sev, I love it."

"You mentioned you liked the poets," he said, "I do as well."

"Lord Byron," Andromeda rubbed it's spine, "It's a beautiful edition."

"I thought you would appreciate it," Severus met her eyes.

"I do," she said, "leather, hardback. The binding alone is gorgeous." She dropped her eyes.

Severus gentle tickled Teddy's toes, causing him to laugh louder.

"What are you doing tomorrow night, Andi?" he asked, casually.

"I don't know, why?"

He continued to tickle the baby's feet. "I was hoping you could come to Snape Manor for dinner and to greet the New Year. Sarah will be away at the ministry party and I'd love your company."

"I have Teddy again," she said, "Remus won't be back," she paused, "but, I have a portable crib that I could set up in one of your rooms if you wouldn't mind having both myself and Teddy."

"I'd be honored," Severus said and Andi smiled warmly at him again. She was learning quickly that Severus had many different sides of him and while her heart still ached for Ted, she genuinely liked being around Sev. She was his attorney for those months in prison and she had made a lot of visits with him. A lot to talk strategy, but then it had morphed into more. Literature, Art, History, law theory, even dabbling through a few potions journals together that she had brought him. Eventually, she confided in him about desperately missing Ted and Nymphadora and she found that he was a sympathetic listener and actually had a lot of wisdom to offer. His reputation as a stern potions professor and a right nasty git had proven to be anything but true (well maybe a little at times), which from his friendship with her sister, Narcissa, she had suspected from the beginning that there was a different side to him. And she saw what an attentive father he was to Sarah and it softened her towards him. She was lonely, Sev was lonely and she enjoyed talking over things with him. And he seemed to enjoy it too. She wasn't sure what that meant, but for the first time in months, she felt hope again.

* * *

Sarah looked at the timer. One minute to go and the cookies would be done. She heard a knock on the door. She wiped her hands on her red flowered apron and then went to the door, looking through the window. She pulled it open.

"Draco," her heart skipped a beat. He looked so good, standing there with a bit of snow in his blonde hair. Her surprise was evident, but then she managed to school her features. Draco was Snape's godson and he had every right to come to Snape Manor if he wanted, "Come in! It's really cold out there."

"Thanks," Draco brushed off his coat, "Is Snape here?'

The timer beeped.

"No, actually, he had to run a few errands," She said, turning towards the kitchen. "Wait a sec, I don't want them to burn! Take your shoes off and don't traipse snow through the manor or Snape will have a fit."

Draco followed her directions and came into the kitchen a few minutes later, his coat off, and a parchment in his hands, "I wasn't going to stay long," he said.

"I just put tea on," she said, "Why don't you warm up before going back out? And what possessed you to not use the floo in this weather?"

Draco shrugged, "Apparating seemed easier. I do hate floo powder."

She nodded in agreement, "I quite agree with you there, though apparition always makes me slightly nauseous."

"i remember," Draco said, dryly.

She looked over at him and smiled at the snow that was still glistening in his hair, "Just…" she stepped over and brushed the snow out of his hair, "There you go. Entirely presentable like a Malfoy."

"While we are at it," Draco gave her a smirk, "You have smudge on your nose," he reached and brushed her nose, "Flour, I think."

"Most likely," She swallowed at his touch. She shifted again, "Well, sit." she gestured to the small kitchen table. "The cookies are warm and they are mum's recipe so they should be delicious."

"If you did them correctly," he smiled.

She pretended to be insulted, "Of course, I did!" she said, with mock huffiness.

Draco laughed, but then they fell silent, not sure of what else to say as Sarah sat next to him at the table.

There was several moments of awkward silence before the tea kettle whistled.

"Oh good, the tea!" Sarah jumped up. "I'll just steep it and it will be ready soon," her face flushed as she reached to pour the tea from the kettle into the pot.

She steeped the tea and went to sit down, "This is a bit awkward, isn't it?"

"A little," he nodded, letting out his breath, "But I do want us to be friends. I've always wanted that."

"Me too. I think the more times we see each other, the easier it will get," Sarah said, cringing, "though I hate that is this way between us," she added, honestly.

"Me too," Draco said and then handed her the parchment, "this is for you."

"What is this?" she asked, curiously.

"Your N.E.W.T. scores."

Her eyes widened, "Why weren't they mailed?"

"We tried to deliver them to Grimmauld Place, but you weren't there for several days and they needed to be delivered directly to you."

"I was away on business," Sarah said.

He nodded, "We figured. Congratulations, by the way. I heard you are officially an auror."

"Yes," her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She stared at the parchment, "Do you know what these are?"

"I do, as head of the board, I see all the results," Draco said, evenly, "Aren't you going to open them?"

She shrugged as she stood, "tea should be ready."

Draco stood too and came up behind her as she was pouring the tea. Unable to help himself at seeing her clear anxiety, he put his hands on her arms and turned her towards him, "You really should open them, Sarah," his voice was quiet.

"Did I fail?" her lip trembled.

He squeezed her arms, comfortingly. "Would it matter if you did?"

She nodded.

"Why is that?" he asked, his voice low.

"I don't know," tears filled her eyes, "The board and I are the only people who will ever know."

"I can't believe you didn't tell Uncle Sev you were taking this," Draco commented.

"It doesn't matter," she put her hand on her stomach, "it would just upset him. Disappoint him. I know I am already such a huge disappointment to him."

"You aren't," Draco quickly said, "I think I am the disappointment here. Actually, I am pretty sure I am."

She frowned, "Oh, Draco, I didn't think. Snape isn't giving you a hard time, is he?"

"I broke his little girl's heart, what do you think happened?" Draco let out his breath.

"I don't want our divorce to affect things between you and Dad," She said, "You two were always so close."

"It was bound to affect it in some ways but we are working through it," Draco said, quietly, "He and mum, on the other hand…"

She bit her lip, "What is going on between the two of them?" her forehead creased in worry.

"I don't know," Draco said, "They had a terrible row after we all got out of prison. Snape came over when Dad was out of town. I have never heard Mum or Snape yell that much."

"That wasn't because of me, was it?"

"I think Uncle Sev wanted Mum to stay out of our business and convince father to do the same…but she wouldn't budge. He left livid and they haven't talked since," Draco said, "which for mum and Uncle Sev, that's huge. They have been friends since Hogwarts."

"I know," Sarah frowned again. "Should I say something to him?"

Draco shook his head, swiftly, "If he hasn't told you, I wouldn't mention it."

"I'm really sorry," Sarah said, quietly, "I would never want Snape to give up his friendship with your mum or his relationship with you as your godfather because of me. I hope you know that."

"I know," Draco nodded, evenly.

"We can all coexist peacefully," Sarah said, "actually, I'm hoping more than peacefully," she shifted, "You should feel free to come over here and see Snape whenever you want no matter what is going on between us," she let out her breath, "We have always been really good friends, Draco. And I think we can continue on with that…and maybe your Mum and my Dad will follow our lead with time."

"I agree," Draco smiled, "I'd like that."

"Good," she smiled back, "Now here is your tea," she handed him the mug. "And take a cookie," she grabbed her cup and went to sit on the table.

"I have to say, Black," Draco said, leaning over her and grabbing the parchment, "As your _friend_ , you need to open this," he handed it back to her, before sitting down.

"Okay," she took a sip of tea and then a deep breath, unsealing the parchment and pulling out her results. Her eyes quickly scanned the first piece of paper.

"Wow, really?" her hand went up to cover her mouth, her smile wide. "I can't believe it!"

"Top mark this year," Draco said, quietly. What's more, it's one of the highest scores ever. McGonagall and the rest of the board were astonished. You also won a distinguished award with those results and scholarship money to put in a fund to further your education when you are ready."

Her eyes widened, "This is amazing," she looked at the potions award.

"Yeah, it is," Draco said, "you could go anywhere on those marks. You could be that potions professor you want to be, easily."

She sighed and then folded up the results, "That's why I didn't want to open them. I can't second guess my decision to join the aurors."

"You should tell Snape at least," Draco said.

"Why is that?"

"Simply because he would be proud of you," he said, "for someone so rotten at potions, you've come a long way and it is really a testament to Snape as your professor."

She licked her lips, "I know. But I can't bear his look when he thinks about what could have been. I'm committed to the aurors for the next several years."

"You can get out of your contract," Draco said, "I could help with that."

She took a breath, "I really can't. Not right now. Things are complicated."

"You just started your job, what could be so complicated?" Draco asked, aghast.

"If you only knew," she said, quietly.

"Knew what?"

She swallowed hard, "The ministry is keeping it under wraps, but Voldemort made me his heir."

Draco's mouth dropped, "Really?"

She reached over to grip his arm and then dropped it when she realized what she did, "You can't say anything."

"Of course not, Sarah," he assured her, "But bloody hell, what are you going to do?"

She shrugged, "Ignore it for now. But I really need to work on getting the rest of the death eaters captured and then maybe when things calm down in the wizarding world, I can focus on my education."

"Will things every calm down enough?" Draco asked and then shifted, reaching out to touch her face, but then dropped his hand, "What do _you_ want?"

"I honestly don't know and that is part of the problem," she said, honestly.

"Hum," Draco frowned, "that's a hard spot to be in."

"Yeah, it is," she said, with a nod.

The door clicked open and shut and Snape came in the room.

He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Sarah and Draco talking quietly over tea.

"Hello, Draco," he acknowledged his godson.

"Uncle Sev," Draco looked over with a nod and Sarah tucked away the parchment in her apron.

"Dad, do you want some tea?" she finished her cup and with her wand, banished it to the sink. She cast a cleaning spell from across the room, washing out the dish.

He shook his head, "No, thank you," he titled his head.

Sarah stood, "I think I want to go decorate the tree now," she said, and then turned to look back, "Draco, can you come help me with the star? Or do you need to go?"

He looked between her and Snape.

Snape cleared his throat, "By all means, stay, Dragon, if you are so inclined. We are celebrating late this year since Sarah has been away."

"I'd like that," Draco said.

"Me too," Sarah smiled, warmly at him.

Draco and her worked on hanging lights and then ornaments on the tree in the sitting room. Snape watched them, surprised about how easily they were chatting with each other. Whatever he walked in on earlier, seemed to be a positive change in their relationship.

"I'm going to go get a cup of tea now," he announced, when he was sure things were going to remain peaceable between them.

"That's fine," Sarah nodded. "We don't need a chaperone," she laughed at Snape.

"Well," Snape shifted, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to hex each other," he said, dryly.

"Oh, I think our hexing days are long passed us," Draco said, a smile at Sarah. Sarah grinned as Snape's eyes narrowed slightly, but none of them noticed that he was perturbed by their warm interlude.

"Let's see if I can hang this star," Sarah said, "can you just make sure I don't fall on my arse?"

"Of course, Black," Draco said. She hung the star easily but when she turned around from where she was standing on the small ladder, she slipped slightly and Draco reached to grab her waist, easing her down to the ground.

"Thanks," she turned in his arms, suddenly aware of how close they were. They looked in each other's eyes for a few moments, his hands still resting on her waist. The moment was clearly charged, their feelings for each other palatable Neither of them dared to move or hardly breathe for fear they would break the spell and ruin the moment.

Snape cleared his throat, standing at the doorway, breaking their trance for them, but Sarah and Draco would be thinking of that moment that night, wishing things were all the way back to normal.

* * *

Sarah watched the others dance, sipping on champagne, taking a break. Since arriving with Harry earlier that evening, she had been asked to dance so many times, she had lost count. She never wanted this much attention, but she knew it was one of the effects of being best friends with the chosen one. And in spite of the mask, she had a feeling that people knew exactly who she was. So far Lucius and Narcissa were keeping their distance from her, likely not wanting to draw attention to their former association with her. She didn't know where Draco was either. Her mind wandered to this time last year in Malfoy Manor, ringing in the New Year with the Dark Lord…and then later with Draco for some private time. They conceived their child last year on this night. She bit her lip and took another sip of the champagne. She missed Draco.

"May I have this dance?" a man approached her, offering his hand. She knew immediately it was Draco. Their encounter yesterday at Snape Manor stirred her so much, that she was actually unsure if she should dance with him. She had worked so much to move past their divorce, but their connection was always so strong, pulling her back to him.

She hesitated.

"It is just a dance, Black. A waltz." he took her champagne and placed it on a nearby table.

"How did you know it was me?" she tried to keep her voice light, "we are masked."

"There is only one person who can light up the room like you can, Sarah," Draco said, his voice low, "you are stunning. I would recognizing you anywhere."

"I wouldn't call me stunning," Sarah protested as she extended her hand to take his and he led her to the floor, putting his arm around her waist and his other hand in hers, raising it and then began to twirl her around the floor with ease.

"You are quite popular tonight, why do you think?" Draco asked.

"It's the dress," she said. The dress fitted her perfectly, it made her feel like so grown up. The silver dress flowed elegantly, but the crystals and beads actually made it quite heavy. The bodice hugged her curves and skirt was full and on her waist was a bow. Her hair was curled and flowing down her back, adorned with her mother's sparkly barrette.

"It's you," Draco's voice was low in her ear, "It's always you."

She inhaled, "Draco."

"I know," he continued to dance with her and Sarah had to admit being back in his arms with him was magical…and for those minutes, she was taken back…it was like none of the bad stuff happened and she was just his.

Maybe it was the champagne or the romantic atmosphere, but she was practically swooning in his arms. Heat flooding her face, she abruptly stopped dancing, "I think I need some air," she said, swaying slightly.

Draco wrapped his arm around her waist, "The outside is just as crowded as the inside," he said, "Come with me."

He led her away from the crowds, down the familiar hallway to the library, "Nobody will bother us here," he said and then reached to pour her a glass of water. "You look faint." he handed it to her, their hands brushing against one another.

"Thank you," she said, taking a sip of the water. She bit her lip, her mind wandering to the times spent in the study, not just with Voldemort, but with Draco. Her eyes found the desk and she blushed again.

Draco looked at her blush and then followed her eyes, curiously. And then he knew exactly what she was thinking of and it caused him to do something that he knew he shouldn't have. He reached out and took her hand, holding it in his.

His touch move her. She closed her eyes.

"Do you remember this time last year? You were so angry at me," Draco said, "but in spite of it, it ended wonderfully. Do you remember us greeting the New Year, making love to each other?"

Her eyes flew open, "I remember," her chest felt tight again.

"We conceived our little boy on this night last year," Draco said, quietly.

"Do you remember that?" She asked, tears filling her eyes.

"Of course, I remember, Black," Draco said, squeezing her hand tightly, "He meant the world to me too."

Her heart melted towards him, and she felt so unable to adequately guard her feelings against this.

"Draco," her voice wobbled. "I should have never agreed to dance."

"I'm glad you did," Draco lifted her hand and encouraged by her reaction, he did something he _really_ knew he shouldn't. He began to kiss her fingers, one by one, "It was just a dance."

"It can never just be a dance between us," Sarah said, inhaling again, when he nipped her thumb, playfully.

He squeezed her hand and used it to pull her towards him, "I've been jealous tonight, Sarah. I finally felt what you felt that night and I couldn't hardly breathe watching you with those other men. I had to ask you to dance. And I'm glad you said yes," he admitted.

"Why were you jealous?" Her voice was hoarse, her heart beating quickly at his words and their closeness.

"Because in my head, I know, that you are not mine, but in my heart…I'm just not there yet," his voice was low.

"Draco," she breathed deeply, "I've tried so hard to get over you, _please_."

"And are you over me?" he asked, also unable to take her closeness, "Because I'm not over you. Yesterday afternoon showed me that. I couldn't stop thinking of how perfect it was being with you…doing normal things with you. I don't want to be over you, Sarah. And moreover, I don't think I will ever be."

Her last bit of resistance shattered and he began to kiss up her arm and then reached behind her head to untie her mask, it sliding to the floor. "Are you over me?" he asked.

She looked him in the eyes as her mask fell. She shook her head slightly, unable to trust her voice.

"You are beautiful, love," he breathed, "It's like nothing has changed having you here. It's where you belong."

She bit her lip, almost wearily, but as if in a trance, her hand lifted as well to grip his mask. She pulled it down and then stared into the face of the one she could never seem to stop loving. His eyes were intense as he traced the neckline of her dress.

She closed her eyes and in a sudden movement he dropped his hand to grip her waist and pulled her into him, kissing her, soundly. She couldn't stop the moan and that was all Draco needed to shove her against the desk.

"Oh Merlin, Draco," she grunted, her body couldn't help but respond and he began to touch her as they kissed. His hands moved from her neck to finger the strap on her dress, tucking his fingers underneath it, rubbing her shoulder with his knuckles before he pulled the strap down her arm, helping her arm out of it, the strap hanging down. He fingered the top of her bra, before pushing it down, exposing her one side to him.

"I missed you," he said, his voice husky, before beginning to caress her chest.

She suddenly couldn't breathe. His touch felt so exquisite. She had missed him so. Missed this with him. He leaned down to kiss her chest, causing her to squirm to his delight, and then gripped her waist and picked her up to sit on her on the desk. His lips moved to her mouth again and their passion increased significantly, them both allowing themselves to get further carried away.

He pulled away, gasping, his eyes bored into hers, "You have to tell me to stop if you want us to."

She licked her lips, unsure. "I don't want you to," she admitted, her voice breaking, "but…"

He reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up, to rest above her knees, it billowing up, "You have to tell me to stop if you want us to" he repeated.

"What do you want?" She asked, almost desperately, "Do you want to?"

He reached up and yanked down her knickers, untangling them from her legs, "No, I have wanted this since I gave you up. I can't stand to be apart from you. It's been torture. I dream of you, do you know that?"

"No," her voice cracked.

He reached up to feel her underneath her dress and she nearly exploded at his touch. She had missed him so much. But as much as she wanted to give into the passion, her head was telling her that something wasn't right about this. She was so conflicted. Her heart wanted him, but her head knew that this was not exactly right.

She closed her eyes, "Draco, I don't know," she whispered, unsure again, but his mouth was on hers, silencing her.

He pulled away, "What do you want?" he asked, his voice deep. "Tell me you don't want this. I'll stop if you tell me to."

She looked at him, so vulnerable with her in the moment. She cleared her throat, her heart lurching and taking control over her mind. "I've always wanted you, Malfoy," she leaned forward and they began to kiss again with a renewed fervor. Sarah knew they had reached the point where neither of them could turn back.

"Sarah?" he asked one more time, pulling away slightly. "Stop me now if you want to."

"Go on," she put her hands on his face and pulled her to him, kissing him deeply as Draco fumbled with his clothing. He put a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back onto the desk and then pushed her dress further up and it was that point, she knew she didn't want to stop. She wanted this too…so much…ever since she woke up all those months ago.

But it was right at the moment when they were about to connect that they heard noises outside the door.

"Damn it," Draco breathed heavily as he gripped her, rolling both of them over and sliding them down underneath Lucius's desk just as the people entered the room.

Sarah didn't know whether to be annoyed or relieved, but then absolute panic settled in as she saw who had come into the room.

It was Harry and Robards and another masked man she didn't recognize.

And her knickers were still on the floor.

"Damn it, Draco, my knickers," she breathed.

"Shh," Draco put a finger to her lips.

She shifted again seeing if there was any way she could reach them and their masks without attracting attention, but Draco's arm was around her, cautioning her.

"We'll be caught if you move," he whispered so softly in her ear.

"Stealth was my worst subject at the academy," she whispered back and he chuckled. She didn't stay another word, but scrunched closer to Draco. What was going on that Robards puled Harry aside privately so soon after their mission to Voldemort's manor?

"Are you sure, Potter, that there is nothing you want to report about Black?" Robards questioned.

"No, sir," Potter said, easily, "she really handled being there as you would expect. There was nothing out of the ordinary."

"I know she is your friend and that can be tricky, but if she seemed…out of sorts…by being at Voldemort's manor, then it is something I need to know as her superior."

"She really is fine," Harry said.

"You just said she was anxious at times," Robards said, gruffly.

"I was anxious at times too, sir," Harry patted down his head. "I didn't mean anything by it. She said she was dealing with it and I believe her."

"I think we should trust her at her word," the other man said and Sarah immediately recognized him as Healer Matthews, "And I don't think we should question Harry about it either, Uncle."

She grunted at the announcement. Matthews was related to Robards? That explained the pull he had with the ministry.

"She seemed like she didn't want to be here tonight," Robards said, "not that I can blame her, but I need her head sorted for her to do this job."

"I understand," Harry nodded, "I really think her head is sorted, sir."

Matthews took a step towards the desk and paused, suddenly turning around, his foot by her knickers.

Sarah bit her lip and grimaced, mortified. She knew she was caught.

"She says she doesn't have any plans to sell the place, do you know why?"

Harry shook his head, "I don't. I think it just might be soon."

"Nathan?" Robards asked.

Nathan shrugged and then casually leaned against the desk, kicking her knickers back under the desk to her, "I quite concur with Potter. It might just be that she hasn't had time to figure it out. And she wants to wash her hands of it for the moment. It does no harm. There are still wards protecting the place. I don't think we should push her, and I don't think it is a signal for us to worry about her mental state."

"But you still think she has her head in this?" Robards asked.

"I assure you she does," Harry nodded, "And we need her in the aurors. There is no one I would trust more than her as a partner."

"I agree with Harry," Nathan said, "She did the mission and did it well. I see no cause for concern."

He nodded, "Very well then, I won't keep you longer," he said, "Let's get back out there."

"You two go on," Nathan said, "I want to look at some of these books here."

"Very well," Robards said and he and Harry left.

Nathan made sure the door was closed, before he said, "Sarah, when you get a moment, I'd like to talk."

She cringed again, "How did you know I was in here? It could be anyone."

"I could see part of your dress. It's beautiful by the way. Beautiful and distinctive. Maybe if you are going to have clandestine meetings at your work New Year's Party, you should have chosen a more subtle dress."

"Good thought. I'll take that under advisement for next time," she said, wrinkling her face in embarrassment.

"I'll just step out for a few minutes so you can get sorted," he said, "take your time. I presume Draco is with you."

She looked to Draco and he nodded.

"Yeah, he is."

"it's nice to…ahem…" Nathan cleared his throat, "meet you. Heard a lot about you."

"You too," Draco said and Sarah let out her breath.

Nathan left without another word.

Sarah turned to Draco, "Help me up, would you?"

He nodded, "Who was that?"

"Nathan Matthews," Sarah said. "He was my healer in Switzerland. He's discreet. He won't tell."

"It's okay if he does. I'm not ashamed of what almost happened." He adjusted her bra and the strap of her dress for her and helped her put back on her knickers. He summoned their masks, "Sarah," his voice was low as he handed her mask to her.

"No," she held up her hand, "I know you aren't ashamed, but I am, Draco. I was weak. I get close to you and I lose my head. But unless you want more…I can't just shag with you, Draco. Not if it doesn't come with a relationship."

"You know I can't right now," his voice held a tinge of sorrow.

"And nothing will change with that any time soon," she said, "I will always be inappropriate for your parents and until you decide that you want me more than them or your inheritance, then we can't. And I think…we just need to draw the line here."

"I'd like for us to still be friends," Draco said, his voice low, "I need you in my life. You are important to me."

She nodded, "And clearly, I need you too," she said, "yesterday reminded me of that, but maybe we should enact a no-touching rule if this friendship thing really has a chance. Otherwise it's too easy for this to happen."

"I think that would probably be best," he leaned over and kissed her head. "You do look beautiful tonight, Black."

She smiled, "Thank you."

"I'll see you later then," he said.

"of course," she took a breath. "You should go before your mum and dad miss you."

He gave her one last long look before leaving.

Nathan came in a few seconds later and inclined his head.

"Yeah, not one of my shining moments," she said, plopping on the couch.

He came over and sat next to her, "What happened?"

"Hormones?" she shrugged, "I think…maybe it was a good thing you all interrupted before…." her voice trailed off.

"So you didn't sleep with him?" Nathan asked.

"No," she said, "we didn't get that far. Almost though," she blushed. "It's really for the best."

"Why do you say that?"

"He says all these things to me, Nathan, and…we have such a history…especially on this night…it's special." she said, her voice hoarse.

"May I ask why?"

She looked over to him, wearily, "We conceived our child on this night last year."

"I see. This place holds a lot of memories for you, doesn't it?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Yes and it's so easy to let us remember and for those feelings to come up to the surface. I love him and he says he still loves me."

"And do you not believe him?"

"I do believe him, yet, it doesn't change anything…and I just…if it can't be more…" she sighed. "Oh Merlin," she popped her forehead in exasperation, "it was so stupid, especially tonight. We are in the middle of a party for the ministry, the place we both work!"

"That's why it was so surprising to catch you in this position," Nathan said, honestly. "What if we walked into it, Sarah? There surely would have been ramifications at your work."

"I'm mortified when I think about it," Sarah admitted, "Please don't lecture." she twisted her mask in her hands.

"I'm not lecturing," Nathan said, quietly, "Just don't…don't be someone you are clearly not…you aren't the girl who shags at her work's party. That's simply not you."

"You're right," she nodded. "Thanks for not saying anything."

"Of course," he reached over to squeeze her hand, comfortingly, "I understand we all make mistakes and what a temptation this night would be for both of you."

She let out her breath, "Yes."

"I suppose you heard about my connection to Robards," he added, quietly.

"I did," Sarah took another deep breath, "That seems like pertinent information to me."

"Are you upset?"

"No, not really," she said, honestly, "though I wish you were forthcoming with me from the beginning, especially since now you aren't my Healer, but my friend."

"I knew you would have a hard time trusting me if you knew that I was related to your boss, but on the other hand, I knew that my connections to the ministry would afford you the best care."

"I suppose I understand that," Sarah responded, and then ran her fingers across the skirt of her dress, "What's with him talking to you and Harry behind my back? Does Robards not trust me?"

Nathan's eyes met hers, "I think he does. I think he just knows that your past is…" he paused, "complicated, for lack of a better word. He said you completed you mission well, but we are all worried about you, Sarah. Voldemort declaring you as his heir created shock through those who know at the ministry. Part of Robards insistence of you and Potter being at this party was so the press could see you and him together as well as show the others that know how much they can trust you because of how much you have aided Harry throughout the years…and remind them that the public quite adores you."

"Gin is not going to like the pictures taken of Harry and I," Sarah said, slowly, "Rita Skeeter is going to make too much of it. I can already see it now."

"Ginny needs to be secure in her relationship with Harry," Nathan said, "that's not your fault. You were clearly quite popular tonight even if you did go with Harry."

"Ah, don't remind me!" she said, with a sigh.

"You don't like the attention?" his eyes twinkled at her.

"Not hardly," she said, "I'd so rather be at home, tucked in by the fire with a good book."

He laughed. "That's charming, Sarah," He looked over at her, "Speaking of your popularity, I'd like a dance."

"Really?" Sarah's eyes sparkled as she titled her head, "I didn't know that you could dance."

"Of course I can!" Nathan said, quite indignantly.

She held up her hands, "Sorry."

He laughed and winked at her. He reached for her silk mask. "Let me help you with this. Lean forward."

She leaned forward and he tied the mask around her eyes and then adjusted her hair around it, "Looks good." He stood and she followed suit.

"Am I presentable enough?" she asked, biting her lip.

He looked her over once, "Maybe just…" he reached forward, "May I?"

She nodded and he straightened the bodice to her dress and then smoothed down the ribbons to her bow on the waist, "Now, no one will ever know," he said, winking at her.

"I can't thank you enough for covering for me and tossing me my knickers," she said, with a grin.

"Anytime, Sarah," Nathan said, "though that last bit sounds a tad skeevy."

She giggled, "It did."

He offered her his arm, which she took. When they got to the doorway, she looked back. "Do you know we sat on that couch and I didn't think once about Voldemort and how many times we spent together?"

"That's progress," Nathan assured her, "even if you were distracted by other things."

She titled her head back and forth in acknowledge, "Now, tell me why you are here," she said as they walked down the hallway towards the Hall.

"My uncle invited me. And since I was in town visiting family, it made sense to come."

"You weren't checking up on me, where you?"

He laughed, "I would write you if I wanted to check up on you or visit you in person. I don't need a fancy ball to check up on you."

"Then you actually wanted to come?" she asked, frowning.

He laughed, "I don't mind these events," he admitted, "though, I, like yourself, appreciate a good book by the fire just as well."

"Do you enjoy dancing?"

"Actually, yes," he admitted.

"Where did you learned to dance?"

He led her back to the dance floor, another waltz happening around them. "I'm a pureblood, Sarah. I grew up learning."

She nodded, "You don't let on like you are a pureblood," she said, as he spun her around.

"Because, it simply doesn't matter," Nathan retorted.

"I quite agree," Sarah smiled, but in the corner of her eye, she saw Rita Skeeter snap another portrait, this time of her and Nathan, while she was grinning at him. Her smile faded, "Um, I think you might be in for some press too."

Nathan let go of her enough to twirl her, "Doesn't matter," he pulled her in his arms again, "I'm back in Switzerland after the holidays." He winked at her, "just in time to escape the madness."

"Lucky you," she grinned again. Once again, she was so thankful for him and his easy, steady demeanor. She needed more friends in her life like him.

* * *

"Dad," Sarah came in much later that night, after ringing the New Year in at the party, "You didn't have to wait up," she said, shaking his shoulder.

Snape yawned, dropping his feet, "I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

She sat on the ottoman that was vacated by his feet, "I'm safe."

He studied her, "Did you have a fun time?"

"It was okay."

His eyes narrowed, "Explain."

"There is nothing to explain," Sarah said, twisting her mask.

"Were you alright being at Malfoy Manor?"

She bit her lip, "Yeah, it was fine."

"Did Lucius and Narcissa harass you?" he asked.

"I didn't even see them," she admitted.

"But you did see Draco?" he asked, discerning her look right away.

"Um, yes, I did see him," She nodded and then looked away, a twinge creeping up on her features.

Snape sat up further and then fixed her with a stern look, "Why exactly are you blushing?"

"No reason," she stood but he reached to push her back down.

"I know I'm your Dad, but I never stopped expressing my opinion and an official ministry party is not the place for you and Draco…to… _reunite_." he glared at her.

"What makes you think that we…?" her voice trailed off.

"Did you?" he demanded.

"Of course not," Sarah asked, aghast. "Honestly, Dad. I can't believe you would think I would do something that inappropriate!"

His eyes narrowed again, his look searching. "Are you lying to me?"

She frowned, "What is this? The inquisition? Should I go get some veritaserum?" she challenged.

His eyes locked with hers, the moment tense.

"Sarah," Snape let out his breath. "I saw the way the two of you looked at each other, just yesterday. And right now, I know that something happened tonight. And I know it was with Draco. Otherwise you would not be this defensive."

"But, I'm an adult, so," Sarah twisted the mask which was in her hand, "it really is none of your concern."

Snape opened his mouth and then closed it, "You are right. I'm just worried about you, especially if you are doing things like having sex during a work party. I raised you a certain way."

"You raised me to thwart death eaters, and that's what I'm doing!"

"Sarah," Snape's look was hurt. "Come now."

She leaned forward, her face crumpling. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She buried her head on Snape's knees.

Snape cleared his throat and then lifted his hand to stroke her hair, "We have always talked over the hard stuff, even if it was awkward for both of us. I'm concerned for you."

"I know," Sarah said, her throat dry, "And I love you for it, Dad," she swallowed hard. Snape nudged her head up.

"Tell me what happened," Snape said, quietly.

"He asked me to dance and I, don't know," Sarah's voice cracked, "I got dizzy and we went to the library and of course that holds so many memories…that Draco and I just lost ourselves for a few minutes. It wasn't quite as unseemly as you are making it sound. It is Draco's home, after all."

"I understand that. And I understand how it could happen. I'm not judging you, not truly. Only expressing concern."

"We got interrupted before we could…" she shifted, "well, reunite properly."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "By whom?"

"Robards and Harry and Healer Matthews. We hid and they didn't see anything, though Nathan figured it out."

"Sarah, that could have been really bad for your career."

"Yes, I know," she nodded, "And just so you know, I told Draco that I didn't want us to have a relationship without having _a relationship_. And I do mean it. I don't want something casual, especially with Draco."

Snape closed his eyes briefly, "I have to say I'm glad."

She nodded, "It's hard though. Being friends with him without having that more."

"Maybe it is simply too soon," Severus offered.

"Yeah, but I have to try."

"Why?"

"Because Draco is a part of your life, so he is a part of my life," Sarah leaned forward to grip Sev's hand, "And Dad, I would never ever want that to change. You don't have to choose between me and Draco. He needs you just as much as I do…even more because of who his father is."

"Are you really okay with him being around here?" Severus asked.

"Well, I'm not around here all that often anymore, but yes, I am," She said, adamentely, "Please fix things between you and Draco. I know he misses you."

He nodded, "I'll make more effort to reach out to him."

"Good," Sarah smiled.

"But I won't be happy if he continues to lead you on."

"Honestly, he's not," Sarah said, quietly, "I'm a big girl. I can handle these things. We just got a little carried away earlier. It's really nothing to worry about."

"What did Nathan say?"

"What could he say?" she shrugged, "he was understanding, but he said he didn't want me to become someone I'm not."

"He's really wise, Sarah. You should listen to him."

"I do listen to him. He's become a friend," she yawned, "it's so late. What did you do tonight?"

Snape shrugged, "Quiet night at home."

She smiled at him, "You really should get out more. You know…make friends."

"I'll take that under advisement," Snape said, dryly, "Now off to bed, you troublemaker."

She laughed and rose, "There might be some press about, well, my love life in the Daily Prophet tomorrow. Just warning you..."

Snape raised his eyebrow, "I can't wait to read all the juicy bits, Black."

She laughed and then leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks for waiting up. Good night, Dad."

"Goodnight, Sarah Grace. I'll see you in the morning."

She yawned, "See you in the morning."

But when she left it took him a long while to get out of his chair and up to bed himself, too busy worrying over his little girl to sleep.

A/N: please review!


	9. Partners

**A/N** : This story is starting to roll...it got off to somewhat of a slow start. Let me know what you think!

 **Chapter 9: Partners**

"Are you leaving already?" Snape asked, surprised, as he entered her room, seeing her stuff clothes in her bag.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Sarah turned her head in his direction. "Work is really going to take off now that we have the information from Voldemort's manor and it is easier to do all of this from Grimmauld Place."

Snape frowned, "Do you think they'll put you on assignment this soon?"

She nodded, "I have no doubt. They don't need people in the office, Dad."

There was a long pause.

"Okay," he let out his breath. "Do you need help?" he asked rather formally.

She inwardly cringed. They had seemed to make progress over the holidays but Snape clearly still disapproved of her choices and that made her heart hurt...more than she wanted to admit.

"I'm good," she forced a smile, "Thanks, Dad."

"Good, well," Snape shifted and then swiftly moved across the room. He tipped her chin up, "Look at me."

She forced her eyes on him.

"Don't forget to call to check in. And I want to see you for dinners some."

"Of course," she said, nodding.

He dropped his hand and then affectionately patted her head, "And for Merlin's sake, do be careful."

"Of course, I will."

"Good, then," Snape backed away, "I'll leave you to it."

"I love you, Dad," Sarah said, her heart aching. She wanted him to be proud of her and she had a feeling he wasn't.

"I love you, too." He got to the door and turned back around, "I'll only say this. You are an adult now. You must learn to make your own mistakes as you find your way through adulthood. But I am always here for you. _Do not forget_."

She nodded and he left her alone.

* * *

"We have looked over the assessments of the new recruits," Robards said gruffly sitting at the head of a table two weeks later, "and have made determinations of partners."

"We aren't getting partnered with experienced wizards?" Harry asked, his forehead creasing, his hand reaching up to pat down his unruly hair.

"I think the last war has created your experience," Robards said, "And we don't have many experienced aurors left that aren't already on assignment. The information we got from Voldemort's manor needs to be sifted through by our most experienced aurors. For now, this will have to do. If you get in trouble, we have ways for you to call in the others."

Sarah looked at the others at the table: Ron, Harry, and George. She really hoped it wasn't George. Ron and she would be fine. Harry and she would be ideal. But George: _that would be a disaster_.

"Potter, you and Ron. Black, you and George. Any questions?"

Sarah cringed and George sat up straighter, "But I'd thought…that Potter and Black would be together since they completed the last mission."

"Your assessments completed in the last two weeks indicate that you and Black are better suited."

"That's impossible," Sarah's mouth dropped opened. She didn't understand how that could even be possible.

"Black, watch yourself," Robards growled at her.

"I'm sorry," Sarah frowned, "it's just…"

"What is it? Am I not good enough for our pureblooded princess?" George drawled lazily.

She turned swiftly to him, "Shut it, George. Honestly." She turned to Robards. "This is what I mean. How can I trust him to have my back in the field when he has such animosity towards me?"

"Me? I don't have a history of conspiring with dark wizards. If anyone has reason to worry, it's me!" George exclaimed.

"That's ridiculous!" she shot back, "you have some nerve."

"Put it aside, Black, and do your job," Robards told her, adamantly, "That goes for you, Weasley." He plopped two folders down in front of them, "Pettigrew and Yaxley. Those are the two wizards you are responsible for tracking." He put more in front of Harry and Ron, "Dolohov and Nott. These files contain the latest information we have on them. Study them and evaluate them. Lupin is overseeing the four of you," He beckoned to Lupin who had just knocked on the door, "Go to him with any questions or ideas of where to go. Understood?"

They all nodded and Robards said his goodbyes and left the room.

"Go ahead and start reading," Lupin said.

Sarah reached for Wormtail's file, but George snatched it from her. "Too much history with him, Black."

"Harry has the history with Wormtail, not me," Sarah shot back, "And Remus."

"You too," Lupin interjected, quietly, "but we know that will only be an advantage for you. But each of you will have the opportunity to read the files, so Sarah, you can start with Yaxley…and for the record," Lupin's voice turned stern, "I am not your professor anymore and the stakes are so much higher than a failing grade in a course, so I will not be playing child minder between the two of you. Find a way to work together or find another job."

"Understood, sir," Sarah said, reaching for Yaxley's file, "I don't mind looking at this first."

He nodded and Sarah glanced at Harry, but he was already engrossed in Dolohov's file. She sighed and focused on her work.

* * *

Two contentious, miserable days later, Sarah nervously knocked on the door to Andromeda's cottage.

Remus opened the door, "Sarah," he said, his voice holding his surprise. "Come on in," He opened it wider for her to pass.

"Is it okay that I am here?" she fiddled with the ends of her blue knit scarf.

"Of course, Andi is away…not sure where," he said, "It's just Teddy and I tonight. Want to stay for supper? I'm just about to eat."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I don't want to impose," she said, shifting.

"Nonsense, you are family," Lupin said, adamantly, his arm around her shoulder for a quick hug. "I'm glad you are here. Now take off your coat."

"Can I help with something at least?" she asked as she shrugged off her navy peacoat, placing it on the hooks and then unraveled her scarf.

"Feed Teddy, maybe?" Lupin asked, "though I have to warn you, he likes to spit and fling his food. Can't say I blame him, the mash looks so unappetizing, but they all say it is what he needs."

She laughed, her weary eyes lighting up, "Thanks for the warning and I think I'm up to the challenge. Hi Teddy," she clapped her hands at him, being rewarded with a huge grin and then leaned down to give him a kiss on the head. "I missed you, kiddo."

She began to try to feed Teddy, making noises and shifting the spoon like a train, "It's the Hogwarts Express. Can you say _Gryffindor_? _Gryf-fin-dor!_ "She swirled the spoon around.

"Aunt Paddy," Lupin called from in the kitchen, "His mum was a Hufflepuff."

"Well, yes, I know, and she was the best Hufflepuff in the world, but I have no doubt, it's going to be _Gyriffindor,_ " she waved her hands in excitement, "just like your Da!" She paused, "Or Slytherin like your Granny Andi. That would be okay too, I suppose. My father is head of Slytherin and he is one of the best men I know."

"Oh goodness," Lupin laughed from the kitchen, "Slytherin over Hufflepuff? What kind of Gyffindor are you, Paddy?"

"Well, I just don't know. A conflicted one I suppose," she made a silly face at him and Teddy giggled, "Maybe Ravenclaw because you are just so brilliant!"

Lupin laughed, "Your Aunt Paddy is so silly," he told Teddy as he put plates, glasses, and silverware on the table. "Try feeding him instead of sorting him at nine months, Sarah," he said over his shoulder.

"Okay, I suppose your Da is right," Sarah twirled the spoon, "so, here's the Hogwarts Express. See, Teddy, it goes _choo choo. Choo Choo!_ "

Teddy giggled and she shoved the puree into his mouth.

"Good girl, Paddy! You are a natural." Lupin bought a plate of pasta and sauce to the table, serving her a plate.

"Do you really think so?" she asked.

"I do," Lupin fixed a plate for himself. Sarah's eyes grew more sober and Lupin could tell she was thinking about the baby she had lost. "You'll have it one day, Sarah. The doctors say that there should be nothing preventing it."

"I know," she smiled at Teddy, "I was too young anyway, I think."

Lupin sat, "What brings you here?" he asked, taking a bite.

She looked at him sheepishly, pausing in her feeding of Teddy, "Well to be perfectly honest, I needed a place to hide out for a bit."

"Why is that?" Lupin asked, curiously.

"Harry and Ron are hounding me about dinner tonight at the Weasleys…especially since George and I are partners, Mrs. Weasley wants me there for dinner…and well," she twirled Teddy's spoon, "I couldn't just sit at home when I told them that I couldn't come because I had plans so I had to figure out plans…and I thought maybe you would be home because of Teddy and all…"

"Sarah," Lupin frowned, "you need to make this work with George."

She held up her hands, "I'm trying, Remus. I swear to Merlin, I am, but he is just bloody impossible. Everything I say…everything I do, he questions. I'm not an idiot. And I'm not a secret death eater which he bloody well knows. He hates me and to be honest, he isn't my favorite person right now either. Not to mention, Gin still hates me which is making things hopelessly awkward now that I am living with Harry, but bloody hell, Remus, it's my home!"

Remus stood and retreated into the kitchen, opening up a bottle of wine with two glasses. He poured wine into the two glasses and then placed one in front of her, "Drink," he instructed. "It goes good with the pasta and you sound like you need it."

She took a sip, "I can't imagine why you would think that," she said, dryly.

"What does Harry say?" Lupin asked, taking over feeding Teddy for Sarah so she could eat.

"Oh, to just ignore her and he isn't going to change our friendship for her. But…I'm think they are going to get married one day…and I suppose I always saw Harry and I being like our families were…you know?"

"Yes," Lupin nodded, seriously, "And I know Harry wants that. He loves you. Ginny will come around. Let Harry handle it and don't become too involved."

"Oh, trust me, I'm not," she said, adamantly, "But George…I have to be involved in that," she took another bite, swallowing it, "And I can't even…and then these files…I don't know what the hell I'm doing in the aurors. And I can't talk to Snape about this, because he would just say _I told you so_."

"I doubt Severus would," Remus commented, dryly, summoning a wet washcloth to wipe Teddy's hands and face.

"Oh he may not say it, but he would be thinking it," she retorted. "Snape is always right. I'm always wrong. He says I'm an adult but he clearly still sees me as a child."

"He's trying to give you space to be an adult," Lupin lifted Teddy out of the high chair and then went to put him in the play pen with some toys and back to sit at the table next to Sarah. He summoned his plate and wine across the table to finish his food.

"I suppose," she sighed, "but then I can just feel his disapproval. He might be watching his words, but he isn't holding back the fact that he allowing me to _make my own mistakes._ Bloody hell, I feel like he is waiting for me to fail. _"_

"I'm sure that's not true," Remus countered, gently.

"I just," Sarah put her fork down to drop her head into her hand, her elbow on the table, "I sometimes feel like I have nobody. Snape is creating this weird distance between us since I entered the aurors. Draco is gone. Hermione is so busy. Harry is now partnered with Ron and both of them are working long hours and I am too, but mine is with bloody George Weasley who I can't even breathe without him having a problem with me."

"Don't take this the wrong way," Lupin's voice was gentle, but firm, "but you have to toughen up when it comes to George. You are letting your personal feelings with Weasley cloud your ability to do your job and Sarah, it has only been _two_ days."

"Remus," Sarah sighed.

"No," Remus put his hand on her arm, "Listen for a moment longer. Harry and Ron already are much further along after two days than you and George are and to be honest, Robards and I are surprised by that. You have a keen mind, Sarah…one of the best in the aurors right now…we know you and Hermione were the brains behind so much of Harry's destroying of the horcruxes. Robards wanted you so badly because you have the incredibly power in your spell work, but you also have the intelligence to take yourself far. So why aren't you using it?"

She took another sip of the wine, "Wormtail is a rat, Lupin, so it seems rather impossible to hunt him down until he makes a move."

"And Yaxley…" he prompted.

"Well, Yaxley," she chewed a bite of her pasta swallowing it, "is a different story altogether."

"Yes," Lupin prompted, "so what's the plan?"

"I think we need to go back to his roots and check out all the places he has ever been known to be associated with."

"I think that would be a good start," Lupin said, evenly.

"George thinks it is waste of time because he won't choose some place obvious."

Lupin shrugged, "Maybe, but what do _you_ think?"

"I think that we need to start somewhere and maybe somebody in one of those villages knows something, you know?"

He pointed his finger at her, "Exactly."

"But what am I supposed to do?"

"You tell George that this is what you want to do and start making plans to do it. You stood up to arguably the darkest wizard in history at the last battle and now you are letting George Weasley stomp all over you. That's not you."

She swallowed hard, "I know, but…"

"You feel guilty over Fred," Remus reached over to tussle her hair, affectionately, "Paddy, you got to push those feelings aside. Don't let him take advantage of your guilt. I like George. He is overall a good bloke, but the way he is treating you isn't right." He stood taking her plate, "Furthermore, you should go to dinner at the Weasleys. It's time to stop hiding, Paddy. Take it from someone who has felt ashamed and hid all his life. It's not something you want to get into the habit of doing."

He went into the kitchen and she reached for his plate, following him. "Hey, Remus?"

Remus flicked his wand and the dishes began to be magically washed. "What is it?"

"Thanks for being here for me," she said. "I know you said you didn't want to play child minder between George and myself, but I did need someone to talk to…"

"I never meant you shouldn't talk to me as your friend, Sarah," Lupin said, honestly. "You can come here anytime," he said.

"Thank you," she smiled at him.

He nodded and they made their way back to the sitting room to sit on the couch next to the fire. "So, how is Andi?"

"Fine, I think," Remus said, "She should be home in another hour or so."

"Working late?"

"Something like that, I think," Lupin said, vaguely. "Now," he reached over to pat her knee, "Tell me the truth."

"The truth about what?" Sarah asked.

Lupin summoned the newspaper from a few weeks back that speculated on her love life, "This."

She rolled her eyes, "You saved this?"

"Of course," Lupin laughed, folding it up, "it was quite entertaining reading and I haven't had you alone to ask you about it."

"Oh, please, it's all just so silly," Sarah sighed, "I'm not dating any of them."

Lupin reached over to poke at her arm, "I rather think you are just like your father," he teased.

"Very funny," Sarah giggled.

"I would say your father would be proud, but since you are his little girl, he would probably hunt them down…Harry included," Remus said.

"Probably so," She leaned her head against the back of the couch, her hands on her stomach, "I'm still in love with Draco, Remus," she said, quietly.

"I know you are," Lupin said, quietly. "But one day, you'll meet someone else and you'll find yourself opening up again. I don't know if your love will ever go away, because you shared so much together and he was your first, but one day, it will just be a sweet memory."

She looked over at him and met his eyes, "Are you talking about my mum? Or Tonks?"

"Both of them," Remus's voice cracked as he stood, "Teddy needs to be put to bed, but I want you to stay a while, Sarah."

"I'd like that," she said. He leaned down with Teddy so Sarah could give her godson a kiss goodnight and then she leaned back on the couch, watching the fire, her mind lost in her thoughts…of Draco…of her mum…of poor Tonks who would never know her sweet son.

* * *

"Andi, I enjoyed this," Severus said as he stood on the steps to her cottage. "Immensely."

"Dinner was delicious, Severus," Andi said, her hands fumbling with her keys.

He reached out to touch her gloved hand lightly, "That's not what I meant."

She looked at his hand and then up at him, "I did too."

"Then, what is the problem?"

Andi bit her lip, her normal confidence fading immensely. "I suppose because I haven't done this in years…I mean _decades_ , Sev."

"Dated?"

She nodded.

"Me either, actually," Severus admitted. "Well, maybe not quite that long. But at least eight years…"

"Since you took guardianship of Sarah?"

He nodded, "Sarah took precedence. She was so needy after Grace died and she needed my undivided attention."

"What about Narcissa?"

"Narcissa is married," Severus responded, automatically, but Andi raised her eyebrows, skeptically.

Severus paused and then supplied, "It never got far. Cissy would always choose what was comfortable. And when it comes down to it, our relationship is always going to be altered by the way she and Lucius treated Sarah. I can't easily forgive them that…"

"I understand, it's just…oh blast it, Sev," she stopped fiddling with her keys, "I like you." She handed him her keys, "See if you can do this."

He smiled at her, "That's precisely what I am trying to tell you, Andromeda." He stuck the key in the lock and turned it, it clicking open. "So should we do this again?" he handed her keys back, but neither of them made a move to open to door, though they were both cold in this January weather.

"Yes," Andi said, "but I am so much older than you."

Severus rolled his eyes, "Please," he drawled. He stepped aside and she turned the door knob and pushed it open.

"Come in for tea, Sev and we can talk more."

"I'd like that," he said, simply.

But when they both stepped through, they saw Remus sitting on the couch, looking quite amused.

He stood, his tea cup in his hand, "the kettle is still on the stove. Don't mind me. I'll just be going to be now."

Andi blushed, "That's not necessary. I'll go start the kettle," she said, a glance at Severus, whose expression never faltered.

Remus raised his eyebrow, "She's my mother in law, Severus."

"You quite robbed the cradle with Nymphadora," Severus said, dryly, "That isn't my fault." He paused and then winced at Remus's look, "Was that insensitive?"

Remus's eyes twinkled, "No, no. It's true. Dora was quite younger than I was, but very mature."

"Of course. I always like Nymphadora," Severus said, solemnly.

"Does Sarah know about you and Andi?" Remus asked, changing the subject quickly.

Severus shook her head, "No, she doesn't."

"But you have been seeing a lot of her."

"Well, not officially," Severus clarified.

"She was here tonight, you know."

"Sarah was? Why?" Severus looked confused.

"She needed a friend," Remus said.

"She has friends," Severus's forehead creased.

"Apparently, not ones she can talk to. This whole partnering with George has been difficult for her."

Severus looked aghast, "They paired her with George Weasley? What the hell were they thinking?"

"Apparently, their assessments indicated they were well suited…"

"To pull off pranks at Hogwarts maybe," Severus shot back, "but not to hunt down and capture some of the darkest wizards in this country. Are they mad?"

"You do know," Lupin told him, evenly, "that she feels like she can't come to you because you would gloat that you were right about the aurors from the start."

Severus looked perturbed, "I wouldn't…"

"Well, she said you would maybe wouldn't say it, but you would think it," Remus clarified.

"Since when did she become a master legilimens?" Snape muttered.

Remus chuckled, "You don't have to be a legilimens to figure that one out, Sev," he patted his arm, as Andi came back in the room.

"Tea is steeping," she said, looking between the two of them. "What happened?"

"I was just telling Sev that Sarah just visited tonight," Lupin said.

"I'm sorry I missed her," Andi said. "Is she doing alright?"

"She asked after you actually. And yes, I think all things considered, she'll be fine." He smiled at Andi. "Off I go. Have a good night."

Andi went back into the kitchen for the tea cups. When she returned, Severus was sitting on the couch, his hand rubbing his face, contemplatively.

"What is it, Sev?" she handed him the tea and he took a sip then placed it on the table and she did the same.

"Sarah came to Lupin tonight and not me," Severus frowned.

"Maybe she tried coming to you first and we were out," Andi suggested.

"I don't think so," Severus shook his head, "I think she feels that she can't come to me about her work problems."

"Have you told her that she could?"

"I have, multiple times," Severus let out his breath, "Do you think she doesn't trust me?"

"Oh, Sev, no," Andi tucked her feet on the couch under her and then leaned over to put her arms around his shoulders. "That rift is long past."

"Still, I can see glimpses of how it was before and I can't go back to how it was after I killed Dumbledore," Severus shuddered, "Those were some of the worst months of my life."

"Sev," Andi looked at him, seriously, "That's over with. She came to Remus tonight just because she did. He's an auror now too and she probably feels like he would understand. And Lupin is more of a friend to her than a parent."

"Sometimes it is just so bloody awkward navigating this."

"Welcome to parenting an adult…one who happens to dealing with all the rampant emotions of her early adult years and figuring out what it means to be a woman in this world," Andi smiled at him, "you know we are very particular creatures."

Severus chuckled under his breath and then they both seemed to realize how close Andi's face was to his, her arms still resting on his shoulders.

She started to pull away but Severus reached out to put his hands on her hips. "Don't," he breathed.

She ducked her head on his shoulder, "What if I can't do this, Sev?"

"Because your heart is still tied up with Ted's memory?"

She nodded, but didn't look up.

"I don't think you should worry on that account. I'm not naïve Andi. You just have to let us see where this goes and not overthink it."

"Don't you overthink things?" Andi rose her head.

"All the time," Severus said, nodding solemnly, "Like how someone as beautiful and accomplished and _good_ as you could want someone like me…a death eater and a murderer…"

Andi shifted so her feet dropped but she still laid against his side and his arm wrapped around her waist tightly as they snuggled on the couch, "Well, you see, I see you as differently. I see a good father. And a hero who made the choices we all couldn't do help defeat evil."

"You are generous, Andromeda."

"I don't think so. I want to see where this goes, Severus."

"Good," Severus kissed the side of her head, affectionately.

Andi smiled and sighed at the sweet gesture. "You are really quite sweet at times."

"Shh," Severus hushed her, "You'll ruin my reputation."

She laughed, "We can't have that, can we?"

"Certainly not," Severus said, sarcastically and then patted her hip, "I'm glad, Andromeda."

"Me too," Andi replied.

* * *

"This is a waste of time," George grumbled as they apparated away. "I told you it would be."

"We only checked out one of the three places we narrowed it down to," Sarah retorted, "And maybe it is a waste of time, but maybe one of those other places has a clue for us. It is worth exploring all options instead of waiting for Yaxley to act."

"You could always ask Daddy dearest if he has an idea to help us." George shot back.

Her eyes flashed and then she schooled her features, "Its dinner time."

"Yeah, what of it?" George asked.

"Oh good," Harry ran up to them, "You guys are back in time. Are you ready?"

"I think I want to change," she said. "I have a change of clothes at my desk. I'll just head to the lavatory and be back in a few minutes."

"Go on," Harry nodded.

"What are you doing?" George asked, curiously.

"I'm coming to dinner at your mum's," she smiled sweetly. "Isn't that lovely?" She tossed her head and then left Harry and stunned George to change.

* * *

"Sarah, dear," Molly pulled her in for a motherly hug, "I'm so glad you finally came!" she declared. " _Months_ , Sarah. It's been months."

"I know, Mrs. Weasley," she pulled away from her, "I'm sorry for staying away."

"You are a sweet girl," she patted her cheek, affectionately. "And my Fred would have wanted you here." She glanced at George who was looking stormy. "Well, its true, George, and I'm not going to mince my words around you," she put her hand on her hip. "Now," she gestured for Harry, "Harry, two dinners in one week. I feel so honored," she gripped his face to pull him in for a kiss on the cheek, "Ginny is in the other room. She goes back to Hogwarts next week, you know. This winter term break always seems so long."

Sarah paused, unbuttoning her coat. "I didn't realize that…"

Molly took her coat and she unwrapped her scarf and pulled off her mittens, "Is Snape at Snape Manor still?"

She frowned and bit her lip, "I suppose. Actually, I'm not sure."

"That's a lovely sweater," Molly fingered her pink wool cowl necked jumper, "Looks so cozy. Perfect for this weather…and looks lovely with your complexion." She put Sarah's coat and scarf on the hook , "Well, come on in," She gestured them all in. Harry went over to kiss Ginny and George went upstairs. Sarah followed Molly into the kitchen. "Can I help?"

"If you want," Molly smiled at her as she began to chop some carrots. "Why don't you do this and I'll peel, boil and mash the potatoes?"

"Perfect," she retorted as Molly handed her the knife she was using and Sarah took her place.

"I would think Severus would be keeping better tabs on you," She clucked as she peeled the potatoes.

"Well, since I moved into Grimmauld Place and am working really long hours at the office, it's really hard for us to connect at times," she said as she peeled and chopped the carrots expertly.

"Still," she frowned, "Is he seeing anybody?"

"Snape?" Sarah's eyes widened, "I've never thought about Snape seeing anyone!"

"It's not such an unreasonable question," Molly stopped peeling, opting for a spell instead, "He used to, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Before he took custody of you, he dated. There were stories. The ladies quite liked him. Apparently rumor had it that there was this… woman in Hogsmeade that he would see from time to time…and that she had a reputation herself of being quite wild."

The knife slipped, "Please tell me you are joking," she cringed.

"Don't think it is only you young ones that can have fun. How do you think Arthur and I had seven children?" Molly winked at her.

Sarah blushed, "Of course, but he's my dad. And he's snarky."

"Some women like that type of man," Mrs. Weasley said, knowingly, "Do you favor them?"

"Favor whom?" Sarah blushed further, "Like bad boys?"

"Yes, like that…"

"Well, I don't know," she shrugged, "I haven't really thought about it that way."

"Well," George announced as he came in and reached for a piece of bread, Molly swatting his hand, "I'd say she does. Unless he's a death eater, don't bother."

Molly put her hand on her hip, "That's not what I meant. I more meant edgy…even your brother was edgy, George Weasley with all those pranks, Merlin rest his soul." Molly's lip quivered. "So do you like edgy men?"

She shrugged, "I haven't really thought about it. I wasn't attracted to Voldemort, so maybe not."

Molly looked startled and then laughed, "you really shouldn't joke about it, Sarah. Some people don't know you as well as we do."

"I don't usually," Sarah assured her. "And I'm really not sure I have a preference."

"With Sirius Black as your father and Severus Snape as your adopted father, I wouldn't be surprised if you did like the bad ones."

Sarah shrugged.

"But are you seeing anybody?" Molly pressed.

"Sarah?" Ginny came in, snorting, "haven't you read the papers, mum?"

Sarah handed Mrs. Weasley the cutting board full of chopped carrots and she put them in a pan, sprinkled a brown sugar glazed over them and sent them to the oven.

"You know the papers are rubbish, Gin," Sarah said, looking at her evenly. "I do hope you aren't giving Harry a hard time over it. It's not his fault."

"And it isn't Sarah's either," Mrs. Weasley gave Ginny a warning look. "I'm sure she doesn't encourage it."

"No, of course not," She made a face, "I think Rita Skeeter is ridiculous. She had Harry with Hermione and Luna at other points."

"But who was that man you were dancing with at the ministry ball?" Mrs. Weasley asked, casually.

"That bloke is Sarah's healer, which is all pretty skeevy if you ask me," Ron said, coming in, "though he is a good bloke."

"We like him," Harry said, nodding seriously.

"Are you dating him?" Mrs. Weasley asked, watching the potatoes boil.

"Just a good friend, Mrs. Weasley," Sarah said, smiling at her. She did miss Mrs. Weasley and especially how she mothered all of them.

"So you aren't seeing anybody?" Molly asked yet again as she banished the potatoes to the sink to drain and then began to mash them.

"She's not," Harry offered. "She is really busy at work."

Sarah nodded, solemnly, "Incredibly busy."

"How is work?" Molly asked, looking pointedly between her and George. George shifted at her pointed question.

"Good," Sarah coughed a bit.

"Because I ask George and he just clams up. Won't tell me anything!" Molly sent her a glass of water.

"Mum!" George protested.

She took it and swallowed it. "I think, maybe, it's because things are so classified, it's hard to talk about, except rather vaguely."

"I don't like this whole business with the aurors," Molly said, sorrowfully, "you all are much too young for all of this."

"She's too young for it!" George exclaimed.

She rolled her eyes, "because your two years really makes you so much more mature than it does me, Weasley. And what about them?" she pointed at Harry and Ron.

"I think you are all too young for it," Molly declared, "And that is my opinion, which I have every right to."

"I think on that, you and Snape are quite in agreement," Sarah retorted.

"I suspect we are," Molly nodded, "Is he terribly unhappy about you joining the aurors?" she asked.

"Pretty much," Sarah said, "But I'm an adult so there is only so much he can do."

"Well," Molly sighed, "I understand all about that." She glanced at her clock, "Dinner in thirty minutes. Why don't you all amuse yourself with something? I'm fine to finish up in here."

"That's another way to say r _un off and play_ ," George said, wryly.

"You sure you don't need more help, Mrs. Weasley?" Sarah asked, really dreading the prospect of running off and playing with George and Ginny.

"No, thank you, dear," Molly smiled at her.

George looked at her knowingly, "Want to still hide out in here with mummy, Sarah?"

Sarah tossed her head and then stepped ahead of him, them going through the kitchen door together into the family room. She turned around on her heels, them practically colliding by her sudden movement.

Harry and Ron exchanged a look when they saw the look on Sarah's face. They knew that look all too well. And it usually looked like exactly what Professor Snape looked like when he was about to give a student a dressing down.

"Just shut it, George. And for the record, I'm not afraid of you." She poked at his chest, "I stood up to the darkest wizard on this planet so compared to that, you are just child's play," she growled, "And I'm not going anywhere. I am an auror. You are an auror. We are partners now. So you can easily make this experience miserable and we can both get sacked or you can grow the fuck up and back off. I suggest you grow the fuck up and back off because I'm not going to get sacked or worst killed over you acting like a child. Got it?" she glared at him.

George looked stormy for a few more moments and then held up his hands, "Got it, Sarah."

She turned again on her heels, "See that you do."

Harry came up beside George and slung his arm around his shoulder, "It was bound to happen sometime, mate. And she really did love, Fred, you know that."

"Did you?" George called out to her.

She turned back towards him, "Yes. But I can't feel guilty about his death for the rest of my life. And you can't either. There is nothing we could have done to prevent Bella from doing what she did."

He nodded and then broke away from Harry for the bottom of the steps. "Come along, Sarah."

"Why?" she asked, curiously.

"I have some ideas about Yaxley. I have the files here. Let's look at them again and this time, I won't argue with all of your ideas."

She sighed in relief, "Okay, sounds good."

She began to follow him up the stairs before George spun around, holding out his arm to keep her from falling off the stairs, "Gin!" he called from midsteps, "Just so you know, she's not interested in Potter. You should back off of her too now. She's my partner and she doesn't need to be distracted worried that the girlfriend of her best friend hates her."

Ginny grunted, but before Sarah could react, George was pulling her up the stairs to go over those files with her.

A/N: What do you all think? :)


	10. The Anniversary Part 1

**A/N:** Another chapter...I think this story has been neglected by me in favor of the other one...but I think I'm finding my stride with it...and am excited about where it is heading! Would love to hear thoughts as always. Going to work on the Love at Your Darkest next for those that read that too.

 **Chapter 10: The Anniversary Part 1**

"Sev," Andromeda's voice was quiet as she spoke his name. They had gone out almost every night until Severus returned to Hogwarts and then after he returned, they managed either a Friday or a Saturday at Hogsmeade each week for the past two months.

But this particular night in March, they both had work to do, so Severus suggested a quiet night at Hogwarts with a bottle of wine while Andromeda filled out paperwork and Severus graded his fifth year's essays. They worked in easy silence, both enjoying the companionship, but Andi was undeniably unable to focus completely on her work this night.

"Yes?" Severus didn't look up, instead marking up the exam he was working on with a flourish that would cause any student to shudder…and hope to Merlin it wasn't their paper he was destroying which such a zeal.

Andi looked at the way he was grading with a smile, " _This_ is what gives you such a reputation…that poor child."

"A fifth year is hardly a poor child…and this happens to be a student that is capable of _far_ more. Even as Headmistress, Minerva is coddling her Gryffindors and Aurora is not much better as their head now," Severus grunted, with frustration. But then he looked up, "For the record, I'm not overly harsh and I can assure you that I take no sadistic pleasure in this."

"I know that," Andi gave a small laugh. "Sev, I have to talk to you about something…"

"You look nervous," Severus commented with a frown. "What is wrong?"

"I just wanted to know if you have talked to Sarah recently," Andi said.

"Um," Severus's frowned deepened, "maybe we floo called last week or it might have been the week before. I'm having a hard time getting ahold of her. She's been busy. The aurors are running her into the ground but I didn't really anticipate otherwise. Why do you ask?"

"I ran into her at the ministry yesterday," Andi said, "And I have to say, it was a little awkward. It feels like I'm lying to her. And she is my family too, so it's putting me in a bit of a situation. I understand that it hasn't been that long, but it has been two months of us seeing a lot of each other, so…" she frowned, "And we've kissed, so…" she paused, remembering their first kiss. He was so sweet and gentlemanly, and clearly nervous which endeared her more to him. She knew it meant something, but now she was doubting. Was she reading the whole thing wrong?

"Andromeda…" Severus's voice was low.

"I mean…this isn't platonic, is it?" she asked, "My feelings are growing rapidly, Severus, so if you have doubts and that is not what you want, please just tell me."

Severus banished the papers to the other room and then stood with his wine to sit next to her on the sofa. He took a sip of the wine and then put it on the coffee table. He reached for her hand, kissing it briefly before putting it on his knee, "Not what I want? I'm not keeping this close to us because I'm ashamed of you…or what is going on between us. But, I just need to know this is right…"

"For whom?"

"For _you_ , Andromeda," Severus said. "I know you care about Sarah and I like that you have taken such an interest in her. She needs to have this tie to her father's family and I would never want to interfere with that."

"I understand that," Andromeda searched his eyes, "Are you worried of how she will react?"

"I am unsure of her reaction. We have never been here before…Sarah and I. I don't want either of you to get hurt. I want to protect both of you in this."

"But surely, she wouldn't begrudge you happiness," Andi said, "she loves you so much."

"I don't think she truly would," Severus said, "but Sarah and I have had our rough moments these past seven years and the wounds that she was left with growing up without Sirius Black…Andromeda, you have no idea."

Andi looked sorrowful, "Sirius's inprisionment was hard for all of us…I can't imagine how it was for Grace and Sarah."

"And then what I did to her as well after killing Dumbledore, and what she went through at the Dark Lord's and Bellatrix's hands…she mustn't feel like I don't need her anymore since I have you…or that she can't come to me if I am busy with you…and you mustn't feel like you aren't important either…" he turned them so he could put his hands tenderly on her face, "but I'm afraid if I tell Sarah, it will put pressure on you to ensure that this works and I don't want you to feel that pressure, Andi, not if you aren't ready for more."

"I don't know what I'm ready for," Andi said, "but my feelings, Sev…they are getting deeper…and I'm scared. And then I feel like this is such rubbish of me to feel so scared of something that is so wonderful between us!"

"Shh," he kissed her tenderly, "I know. But there really is nothing to fear here. We both have our wounds from the past that we have to content with Andi. It's natural for that to be disconcerting."

"Yes, indeed. There is also a rather big hippogryph in the room," Andromeda murmured, reluctantly pulling away as he kissed her more passionately, his hands moving up and down her sides.

He studied her, "Sex?" he asked, his voice even.

She nodded.

"Whenever, Andi…" Severus said, cautiously.

She inclined her head, "Sev, I'm a _grandmother_."

Severus couldn't help but laugh.

"It isn't funny," Andi defended herself.

"I'm sorry. Do you think you are too old for sex?" he asked, that blunt fashion that Andromeda was now so used to.

"And that's not what I meant…well, not exactly."

"Andromeda," his voice turned gentle, soothing almost, "if your sister hadn't gotten involved, I'd be a grandfather as well."

"Yes, but Sarah is years younger than Dora was."

"It doesn't matter."

"And if you date someone even a few years younger than me, you could still have children."

"I have a child. You've met her. You said that she's sweet, remember?"

She ignored his sarcasm, "But you always said you wished that you had her all along."

"Of course that is true, but…" Severus frowned, "it's not about whether or not I could have children with you, Andi, it's simply that I want to be with you. That you accept me…even for who I am. That's so much more important to me than your age." He shifted and the moved his hands to her shoulders, massaging them gently, "Listen to me. I do wish I had Sarah from the start. But I will be content with grandchildren one day…and get to see _them_ from the start. And I'm sure I'll be forced to be uncle or godfather or grandfather or some sort of rubbish to Potter's future children…"

"You act like that is such a burden," Andi chided.

"No," Severus shook his head, "Harry and I are finding our peace and he has grown so much in the past two years. Just, what I am saying is that there will be loads of kids around…but I'm not innately paternal…it took so much practice and Sarah just brought it out of me so I'd be more than content with my grandchildren…"

"Okay," she laughed. "I _do_ think you are innately paternal, but that is another matter."

He shrugged, "I'll be innately grandfatherly, then…"

She laughed again, "As long as you are sure that isn't an issue for you."

"Trust me," Severus said, adamantly, "no issue here. So what is this really about?"

She pursed her lips, "That."

He flicked her cheek, affectionately, "that's awfully close to a pout, Andromeda."

She pulled off a full pout.

"Adorable," Severus said, dryly.

"I thought you would appreciate that."

"Immensely. You have great pouting abilities, though maybe a scowl would be more appropriate."

She scowled for him and he chuckled. "That reminds me of how you looked when you were my solicitor."

Andi couldn't help but laugh, "I have to be tough, Severus, to succeed in my field."

"And I concede that you are quite good in your field. I'm indeed grateful that you are," Severus said. "Do you know what you are also good at?"

"What?"

"Changing the subject," Severus rubbed her leg, "Tell me what you are thinking."

She bit her lip, "Ted and I were married."

Severus looked at her quizzically, "Yes, I know."

"Twenty odd years of sex with just that one person and you get used to that person and it becomes familiar, but only in the best, most intimate ways…"

"I understand that," Snape nodded, seriously, "It makes perfect sense."

"Yes," she affirmed, reaching for her wine and taking a sip, "And I never ever wanted to have sex with anybody but Ted after I started and…then you come along and all the sudden…"

He raised an eyebrow, "All the sudden what?"

"I think I want to, but…I don't know," she let out her breath. "I was so much more appealing as a twenty year old."

"You are appealing now," Severus assured, "And if it makes you feel better, it's been years of celibacy for me so the fact that you have even had sex in the past few years, is a vast improvement over my sorry plight."

Her mouth dropped opened, "but didn't you…" she became fluster, "I assumed…I mean you were a death eater so didn't you…?"

"I couldn't have, but I didn't," Severus said, quietly, "And he didn't understand my complete celibacy, but he wouldn't force me to take a woman that I didn't want. The others were so sex driven and depraved. I wanted no part in that. Even the Dark Lord would get frustrated with his followers over that. His focus was always on Bellatrix…occasionally Narcissa and then…" Severus's look turned excruciatingly raw, "he must have a sexual preoccupation with members of your family."

"Oh, Severus," Andi's look was so compassionate, "What you must have gone through when he was making all those plans for her…"

He nodded, "I shudder to think what would have happened, but let's focus here. What do you want?"

She lowered her eyes and then raised them to meet his, "I want us to explore everything there is to explore about this relationship. Just as long as you know that I feel completely upended at the prospect…"

"Andi," Severus smoothed down her hair, "does all that mean that you would you like to spend the night tonight?"

She nodded.

"That's good," he smiled at her.

"You do know, I like it so much when you smile. It's so rare and then you do…and it's…wonderful."

Severus actually blushed in response to that declaration.

"Sev!" Andi laughed, "I embarrassed you. You are always so stoic with your emotions."

"I let my shields down with you…you and Sarah."

"I'm honored," She said, sobering up at the seriousness of his words and the implications of them. She loved that their relationship was different for him.

"No, it is I that is honored," Severus said, leaning down and kissing her. He kept it short and then pulled away, "Call Remus and tell him that you won't be home so he won't worry."

She cringed, "Won't that just be announcing our intentions?"

He shrugged, "We are all adults here, Andromeda," he looked positively wicked, "in fact some of us are _grandparents_."

She smacked him on the arm, "Watch it."

He chuckled.

She stood, "And is it inappropriate for you to have company in your quarters at Hogwarts?"

He stood, "Minerva knows we have a relationship and she whole-heartedly approves. The students don't have access to my quarters, only Sarah is allowed in by the wards."

"Okay, then," Andi said. She floo called Remus quickly (who to his credit acted like it was the most natural thing in the world for her not to come home) and then turned back to Severus, who had resumed grading his papers.

She reached for her wine, "Come along then, Sev, before I lose my nerve."

He banished the papers aside again and stood and strode over to her with such a determination. He took her arm and led them to his bedroom.

"Take another sip," he told her.

She took a few more sips and then he took her wine and then placed it on his dresser.

"Sev…" Andi's voice was hoarse.

He smoothed her hair down again, "Your hair is positively wild at times, Andi."

"Like Bella's," she said it was such a forlorn tone that it caused Severus to pause.

"Does the resemblance bother you?"

"Well, yes," Andi admitted.

"Why?"

"Everyone sees Bellatrix and sees this woman made uglier by her maniac darkness…even Sarah and Harry did a double-take when they saw me."'

Severus twisted the end of her frizzy hair, "Well, you can tell that you are sisters, but you are much prettier than Bella was though," Severus said, "in fact, I think you are quite enchanting." He pulled her in for a hug, holding her against him, "I don't want you nervous or scared," he murmured, "but I must confess, I am a bit nervous myself."

"You are always so steady, Sev," She sighed. And then she pulled away, "Let's just be nervous together, shall we?"

And his only reply was a kiss, followed by much more…their nervousness quickly fading away as other emotions took over.

* * *

March turned into April. Sarah and George were busy following leads on Yaxley, but so far none had materialized. In late April, Robards held a meeting.

"We are advising Hogwarts to send the students home for a mini-holiday on the anniversary of the great battle," Robards said. "They leave tomorrow."

Sarah's forehead creased in worry, "Have there been threats?" she asked.

He plopped down a parchment in front of her, "Recognize the handwriting?"

"I'm pretty sure that's Yaxley's handwriting," Sarah said, "I have looked at enough evidence to know." She turned to George, handing him the parchment. "What do you think?

"I agree," George said.

"Indeed," Robards said, "And it is a clear threat to Hogwarts on the anniversary of the last battle. That's three days from now."

She looked at the parchment again, studying the threat. "It won't be at Hogwarts," she said.

"I happen to agree," Robards nodded, "What are you thinking?"

"Voldemort never advocated threatening magical children because he believed them to be the future of our race…so, I have to believe to truly honor Voldemort, it will be another attack on muggles."

"Good, Black," he praised, "I want you and George to go back over the files yet again…see if you can find any connection with any muggle villages…"

She nodded, "Yes, sir," she and George both said.

"We are going to send the students home as a precaution. The professors will have the choice to remain," Robards said. "It will also force them to look elsewhere in case we are miscalculating. Black, Weasley, I'm counting on you to figure this out."

"Yes, sir," they said as Robards left them.

"So," Sarah turned to George, "I've been thinking about this for months now."

"Yeah…"

"Nobody has seen him so either he is in hiding and hasn't been out very much, which is what we have been assuming _or_ he has been polyjuicing it."

"Polyjuicing it?" George asked, amused.

"Yeah, and if he is polyjuicing it, then those ingredients, they are some rare enough that they wouldn't be found in a normal potions store. "

"So, he has to have a supplier. Let's trace the suppliers. Do you have a list?"

"No, but I know who will be able to help us with this," Sarah said.

"Snape?"

She nodded, "Will you come with me to Hogwarts?"

George closed the file, "Let's go. We'll tell Lupin."

She stood, "Sounds great."

* * *

"Sorry to bother you in between classes," Sarah said, as George and her stood in Snape's office. She looked around, "I haven't been here in a while."

"Me either," George said, "And it usually wasn't good when I _was_ here."

Sarah laughed, "I'm sure of that."

"I don't have much time," Snape said and then gestured to them, "Sit and tell me what I can help you with."

"Thanks," Sarah and George sat in the chairs in front of his desk and Snape sat on his desk.

"We will get straight to the point," Sarah said, "We think that Yaxley might be using polyjuice potion…"

"Or as Sarah so aptly calls it, "Polyjuicing it," George interjected.

" _Polyjuicing it?_ I won't even comment on that as your former potions professor," Snape raised an eyebrow, "But I am curious. Why do you think that, Sarah?"

"All of our leads have fizzled out," Sarah smoothed down her skirt and crossed her legs, "I feel like to stay so hidden, he must be taking on a new identity…and polyjuice could do that. But some of the ingredients are hard to procure…like the…" her voice faded off as a memory flooded her…she knew all about having to procure those rare ingredients.

"Like the powered horn of a bicorn and shredded horn of a boomslang that you stole from me…" Snape said, dryly.

George turned to her, "You stole from Snape? When?"

"Ah, just second year," she waved off. "Years ago."

"Second year!? Bloody hell, you _were_ such a bad arse."

"And got my bad arse properly walloped for it," Sarah blushed, "but that's not the point. The point is that they are hard to procure…if he is making enough polyjuice to hide out for this year, well, then…some suppliers demand for those ingredients must have gone up."

Snape frowned, "That would all be true, but would Yaxley be able to brew that potion?"

"Hermione and I did as second years…" Sarah pointed out.

"Yes, but you and Ms. Granger were infinitely brighter than Yaxley…still," Snape mulled it over, "he wasn't a bad brewer, so perhaps…"

"We don't have any other leads," George offered, "and this seems like a different angle we should try."

"We need to pinpoint a location for him…and that can help us figure what Yaxley's anniversary target will be," Sarah added.

"Yaxley is behind the threat?" Snape asked, worried.

"We believe so," George said, seriously.

Snape reached for his quill and scribbled on his parchment, "I have three names for you…but getting them to talk might be difficult."

He sent the parchment to her and Sarah caught her. "Brilliant, thanks, Dad."

"Yeah, thanks Professor," George added and Sarah handed him the list.

"Weasley, can I have a minute with Sarah?" Snape asked.

"Sure," George nodded, "I'll just wait outside."

"What is it?" Sarah asked, concerned by his worried look.

"I haven't seen you in months, Sarah Grace."

"I know," Sarah said, apologetically, "And I'm really sorry for that. Things are just swamped."

"All I ask is for you to check in at least once a week…then at the very least I will be assured that you are still alive."

"I'll do that. I promise."

"And a dinner every once in a while wouldn't be too hard on you."

"Okay, Dad," Sarah laughed. "I get your point. I'm sorry."

"You are too thin," Severus studied her, "You have been eating, haven't you?"

She shrugged, "Sometimes I forget."

"You need your strength for this job, Sarah Grace. Three meals a day."

"Okay, three meals a day," She nodded seriously. She went over to kiss his cheek, "I'll be better about checking in with you. I promise."

"Good," Severus patted her arm, "Now, go on. And for Merlin's sake, be careful, Sarah."

She got to the door and then turned around, "You look really good, Dad," she mused, "any reason for that?"

"I eat three meals a day," Snape didn't miss a beat.

She laughed, "Point taken yet again. Love you."

"Love you too, little girl."

"Don't be too hard on those first years. I'm sure they are not all dunderheads."

"Off you go," Severus gestured to her.

And when she left, he sat down, tapping his fingers on the desk. He knew he had to talk to her and soon…but he would let her get through hunting down Yaxley…after the anniversary of the last battle. She had to remain focused on her task ahead…her life depended on it.

* * *

"Nothing?" Sarah asked, aghast, "but this is our last name. We only have two more days, George!"

"I didn't say it was nothing," George said, "I think it could be something, but I think that maybe you should try this one."

"I think I should have tried all of them," Sarah countered, fiddling with the string to her cape, "but okay."

She opened the door to the shop, her cape trailing behind her, "Hello," she called out taking her hood down.

"Look, I told your partner, I don't know anything," a voice snapped at her.

She looked up to meet the eyes of a man in his late thirties…fair haired, blue eyes, rugged and undeniably handsome.

She paused, "You aren't what I expected," she said, bluntly.

The man froze and then smiled, "I never am," he said, wryly.

"Yes, well," She strode forward and extended a hand, "I'm Sarah Snape-Black."

He paused again from where he was counting coins, "I knew you looked familiar." He reached out his hand to shake hers, "Your reputation proceeds you…"

"My reputation as an auror?" Sarah dropped her hand.

"No," he turned to begin to stack boxes, "I don't care about that nonsense. Your reputation as being the best brewer to come out of Hogwarts in a century."

"Hum, I didn't realize I had that reputation," she said.

"I helped grade the N.E.W.T exams," he confessed, "and Headmistress let it slip that the most brilliant one was yours. Is Severus still in the dark about that?"

"Um, yes," She frowned, "you aren't going to tell him are you?

"I took an oath of confidentiality," he said.

"May I look around?"

"Sure," he nodded, "Just don't touch anything."

"Honestly, I'm not a first year," she exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

He raised an eyebrow, "I thought you wanted information."

"I do," Sarah said, "but I'm not going to weasel it out of you by being nice and flirting with you."

"Do you even know how to flirt?"

She shrugged, "I guess you'll never know," she tossed her head.

He laughed and gestured her on.

She strolled around the shop, looking at each of the ingredients and then turned to him, "Do you have a piece of parchment and a quill handy?"

He looked at her, wearily, but conjured what she needed. She took it to the counter and then scribbled a list of ingredients on the parchment. She folded it and handed it back to him, "A proposition."

His eyes never leaving hers, he unfolded it and then his eyes dropped to scan the list. "I would have to wait 6 months for this to be of any benefit for me."

"Well, yes," She acknowledged, "but it would be a benefit…a rather good financial investment."

"And how can I know that you can do this?"

"Well, we are doing it together," She said, "And I was trained _and_ raised by Severus Snape."

"Liquid luck," he marveled, "how do you know that I even have information for you?"

"Gideon," she put her hands on the counter and lean forward, "May I call you Gideon?"

He nodded and she leaned over to whisper in his ear, "Your eyes. They are haunted. And they mirror my own. And I have a feeling I know who did that to you. And if that is true, then certain types of people may still come to you…for supplies…for discretion…but I don't think you fully believe in it…which is why your eyes are haunted and not simply indifferent to it all."

"You are so perceptive," he murmured.

"One of my many charms," she straightened, "And another benefit of being raised by the master of perception. What do you say?"

He studied her a few moments and then extended his hand, "Is this your way of flirting with me?" he asked, his mouth curling up in amusement.

She laughed, a genuine laugh that reached her eyes, "I was never much good at it. Also a product of being raised by Snape, though I guess it's more of a hinderance than a benefit."

"I wouldn't say that," Gideon held her hand, "Tell your friend to come in and wait in the shop. This will take a while and the days are still chilly."

"Great," she turned on her heels to go talk to George.

* * *

"I have the ingredients here and the cauldron," Gideon said. "What else do you need?"

Sarah came out of the lavatory, her heels clicking against the floor. She had braided her hair in two braids to get it out of her face.

"Some sort of apron or something," She said, pushing up her sleeves.

He summoned one from the hook, "It's going to be huge on you,"

"No matter," she said, twisting the tie twice around her waist. "Now, maybe juice the squill bulb and I will go ahead and ashwinder egg and horseradish and heat."

They worked side by side, step by step, until finally, Sarah added the sprinkle of common rue and stirred vigorously and expertly.

"Now, here's the rub," she murmured. She reached for her wand again, "Are you ready?" she asked Gideon.

"This spell is complicated," Gideon said, "Are you sure you can do it? If you can't it's going to explode on us."

"Relax," She raised an eyebrow, "You do know the Dark Lord thought me to be incredibly talented…so talented he wanted me to have his evil spawn babies."

"I heard something like that," he said, "Go on then."

She closed her eyes briefly then opened them. She made a figure eight over the cauldron, " _Felixempra_ "

The whole cauldron lit up brightly as her spell met it and they waited with baited breath. It stayed lit.

"When the light goes off, then it's ready. Six months," Sarah said, swiping her wand to carefully move the cauldron to a safe shelf and then swiped her wand yet again to create a protective spell over it.

He nodded, "Thank you."

"Let me help you clean up."

"No, no," he waved her off. He cleared his throat as Sarah untied the apron.

"Go on. What do you know?"

"I never see him, but he has been ordering powered horn of a bicorn and shredded horn of a boomslang for the past 11 months, since the battle at Hogwarts. I think he could be your man. I deliver it to an address in Surrey."

He reached for the parchment and quill. He folded it up and extended his hand, "Here you go."

"Gideon," she looked at his eyes, "thank you."

"You're welcome, Sarah," he said. "But of course, you didn't get this from me."

"Of course, not," she said with a nod. "We have two days to the anniversary."

"I wish you luck," Gideon said, "but I have to warn you, I made a delivery last week and from the place it just looks like he brews and then leaves for some place else. I don't know how much it will help."

"There could be clues there of where his target will be," she said, "any bit helps at this point. Time is of the essence."

"I'm glad," he told her honestly, "and for the record, I think this whole auror thing for you is rubbish. You need to be in our field."

She gave him a wry smile, "I know. Some days I agree with you. But duty calls," she reached for her bag and left him in his lab.

She met George in the shop.

"Merlin, that took forever," he said, "Do you have it?"

She nodded and handed him an address.

"Let's go then," George said with a nod, "and good job."

* * *

The address didn't lead them to much, but Sarah and George spent the next day sorting through the evidence. It was the morning of the anniversary and they were both exhausted.

Sarah paced across the floor of the abandoned home. "Wait a minute," she said as the floorboard creaked yet again. "Give me something to crank this up."

"You think there is something there," he asked.

"Yeah, it's slightly lose. Maybe."

She cranked it up and then swiped her wand, "Lumos."

"What is it?"

She smiled, "It's a hairbrush."

"A hairbrush."

"We need to do a DNA spell."

"Sarah, those results takes hours!" George said.

"Yes, but," she turned to him, "I am believing the owner of this hairbrush probably is no longer living, but they have property somewhere. Maybe in the country. Property that a certain death eater can stay at and plan his next move."

"We are running out of time," George said.

"I know, but what else, can we do. He'll make his move at dark since that was when the battle occurred…and probably late at night. He'll want to properly avenge his master's death. So, we can catch him if we can get there in time."

"It will be dark," George said.

"I know," Sarah said, shortly, "not the most ideal time to try to capture him."

"All of this seems like a gamble," George said.

"What other choice to we have?" she asked, waving her wand for the DNA spell.

* * *

The spell took them to a wooded property in the moonlight. They had called in and Robards told them to go scope it out and use their locket if they needed back up.

Sarah took a breath. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"Let's go," George said, confidently, his wand extended.

They snuck around until they reached a small clearing.

"Friends," Yaxley was standing on a podium in his formal death eater robes. "Tonight, tonight we avenge the Dark Lord's demise. Tonight, we take it out on the… _bitch_ …." he spat the curse, "who did this to him."

Sarah's eyes scanned the clearing. Ten to fifteen death eaters.

"She bewitched him…ensnared him…spat on him…and now she is his heir…to _our_ kingdom. This is our duty…to destroy her…friends, are you with me?"

Cheers erupted.

"George," she murmured, "What are they talking about?"

"I do believe," George glanced at her, "they are talking about you. This is a trap."

"It can't be a trap," she said, "it was way too hard for us if it was a trap."

"Tonight, we go…to that village of the traitors…tonight we destroy Snape Manor and the village that surrounds it."

"Call for back up," Sarah said, urgently. "We can't take them all."

She waved her wand, putting anti apparation charms around the clearing, but not around the woods. "We have to keep them in the clearing." But her wand movement caused her to back up slightly and it was precisely at the moment the crowd had grew quiet so they could hear the crackle of her charm and the twig snapping.

"I do believe we have visitors, friends," Yaxley said, a light shining in their direction.

"Sarah, duck," George pulled her down but not before they could see her.

"And how fitting that the bitch came to us. Kill her and then we will go on to Snape Manor."

Sarah backed into the woods, away from the clearing's edge.

"George," she gasped.

"They'll come. We just have to hold them off."

Spells began firing at every direction…curse after curse.

"It's a bloody ambush," Sarah said, deflecting them and using her shield shields, trying to push them back, but there was simply to many for them.

"We just have to wait," George yelled, "deflect and wait. Try to stun and capture." The managed to stun four of them, but there was still simply too many…fifteen against two didn't make for good odds for success.

"They are going to kill us while we wait!" She squealed and for a moment, her mind flashed back that fateful night one year ago. She could almost feel her son kicking in her stomach. She could hear Fred beside her, his breathing in her ear.

She turned to George, who was still trying to stun the death eaters. "They're coming," she said, her voice distraught.

She heard the manic laugh and Bella was coming through the door. " _Fred, she's going to kill you_!" she screamed and then pushed George aside, waving her wand with a fury.

The fiendfyre curse was strong, potent and took them all by surprise.

"Sarah, stop!" George said, but she stood her ground, fixed as her dark magical fire consumed everything in it's path, including the trapped death eaters, whose screams terror filled the air, but soon there was only ashes left.

George wrestled with her, her wand dropping. "Stop! Bloody hell! _Sarah, stop!_ " he squeezed her.

She was breathless, her eyes shining from the use of dark magic.

"This isn't you!" He held her tight. "This isn't you!"

Then, she realized what she had done.

"Merlin, help me," she whispered, aghast.

She was horrified. She had yet again chosen to do what he would have when threatened. She killed and destroyed…because that is what _he_ taught her to do.

"I'm going to be thrown in Azkaban. Sacked," her knees shook and George held her steady by her arms.

"No," George said, "We are allowed to use dark magic under certain circumstances. We were being threatened and they were going to kill us."

"I'm going to be thrown in Azkaban. Sacked," She began to tremble, her braids shaking as she did, "You were right before…I'm just like them."

"Sarah, no," George pulled her into his arms, "I was so wrong then. You are nothing like them. _Nothing_."

"Tell them the truth," she said, her eyes dull. She backed up away from the clearing…and into the woods.

"Sarah, what are you doing?" George asked.

She extended her hand and her wand flew up into it.

She apparated away without another word.

* * *

She made her way through the halls of Hogwarts, tears streaming down her eyes.

She was a horrible person. _Awful._

 _Truly awful._

 _Evil._

 _Dark._

 _Just like him_.

She stood at the entrance to Snape's quarters. She needed Snape. He would know what to do. He always knew. And he always helped her sort everything. He was always so stalwart with her…a rock…and she needed that now, because she was completely shattered…her heart in a million pieces over what she did tonight. The truth…the one that she suspected all along…that truth was made clear tonight…Voldemort had altered her heart in undeniable ways. And as much as she could try to fight the darkness for the light, she would turn to the darkness when she needed it the most.

She tapped her wand against Snape's door and it swung open.

It was dark in the living room except for a faint light coming from the bedroom.

She flicked on the light with her wand as she stood in the middle of the living room. "Dad!" she called. "Dad! Are you here?"

There was a rustle of activity and Snape appeared in his dressing gown. "Sarah? What is it?"

She frowned, her wand limp in her hand, "I didn't think you would be in bed already. What time is?"

"9 o'clock," Snape studied her, aware of the tears that were still flowing down her face and the hair that was falling out of her braids. There was some sort of black residue on her forehead and cheeks. "What has happened? You look awful." He went over to rub the black off her forehead. He studied it on his fingers and then smelled it, "Is this soot? Was there a fire?"

"Are you ill?" Sarah asked, her mind racing. She took a step back from him. She chewed on her thumb, staring at him. She frowned more, "You are never in bed at 9 o'clock. Are you sick?"

Snape ignored her question, "Why are you crying?" he demanded. "And why do you have soot on your face? What has happened?" his voice turned urgent, "Sarah Grace, _focus_!" he snapped at her, trying to get her out of her trance. " _What has happened_?"

Through her tears, her eyes wandered around the living room and settled on a bag…a pretty blue paisley printed bag. She had seen that before.

Snape saw where she was looking.

He reached for her wrist, turning her back towards him.

She shrugged him off. Her mind kept turning…she had seen…and admired… that same bag before when she hung her coat up on the hooks in… Andromeda's cottage.

"Sarah," Snape reached for her again, shaking her firmly, "Focus for me, now."

"Do you have company?" her voice caught, ignoring his instructions. "Oh, bloody hell, Dad, I'm sorry." Her face reddened. "Merlin, is everyone shacking up besides me?"

"Watch your language," he admonished and she backed up from him. "I wanted to tell you about this earlier, but we kept missing each other."

"Really, I just saw you two days ago. I asked if why you looked so good. Now, I know. Shagging is really good for your complexion, Snape."

"Sarah, don't be crude," he snapped, "And it's _Dad_ "

"It's Dad whenever it is convenient for you…when I agree with you and make the choices you want me to make."

"That is utterly unfair and you know it," Snape said, his voice low.

"Really?" she cried, "Truly?"

"Yes, it is," Snape said, firmly.

"Andromeda?" She asked, sniffling. "Is it Andi?"

Snape eyes met hers. "Yes."

"Is this something…" she swallowed hard, "new?"

"I don't owe you an explanation of my private affairs."

She backed up more, her legs bumping against the couch, " _How long_?"

"Since January," Snape said, resigned.

Her eyes grew wide, " _January_?!" Bloody hell, Dad! _January_?!" She exclaimed in disbelief. "Is it serious?"

Snape held her eyes and nodded. "Quite."

She shook her head in disbelief and and then turned and made her way to the door, "I should have never come here."

"Sarah, wait," Severus moved quickly and blocked her path, "What has happened? Something has happened for you to come here looking like this. Is everyone alright? Is it Potter? Weasley? Granger? What has happened?"

She licked her dry, cracked lips, "It doesn't matter."

"Clearly, it does. Do you need help? Are you in trouble?" Severus pressed, "Sarah Grace, please tell me. I can help you. You just have to tell me. Whatever it is, we'll work it out."

Her shoulders slumped forward, "You have lied to me…kept this truth from me…since January. It's May now. How could you do that?" she cried. "It's more…more of the same shit that I put up with from you for years."

"Sarah!" Snape snapped, "I don't have the monopoly of secrets in this family."

"Now, that is entirely true because I have learned from the master in that regard," She snapped back, "Now, excuse me." She maneuvered around him.

"Where are you going?" Snape asked, aghast. "You can't just leave like this."

She turned, "I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want. Please tell Andi I said hello and I might need a solicitor soon. I'll be in touch."

"Black!" Snape's tone compelled her to stop again, "What have you done?"

She shrugged and kept walking, leaving a shattered Snape behind.

* * *

"I didn't expect to see you again tonight," the door opened wider for her to enter.

She turned around. "I'm sorry to bother you."

"No, it's not a bother," he said as he began to clean up the bottles and trash from the coffee table. "Sit."

She sunk down on the couch she was so familiar with. "Do you have some fire-whiskey?" she asked.

George raised an eyebrow, "Yeah."

"Are you offering to share?"

He gave her a smirk and then conjured two shot glasses and a bottle. "After the two days we've had together? _Absolutely_."

She smiled at him and then she knew…she had come to the right place.

 **A/N** : Please review…she's so spiraling…and if you would believe it, Sarah's night gets worse.


	11. The Anniversary Part 2

**Warning:** Strong t for sexual content & language

 **A/n** : Thank you all so much for the feedback! Here's the new chapter...I had to finish this part and now I'll work on Love At your Darkest. ;)

 **Chapter 11: The Anniversary Part 2**

"What are you going to do?" Andi asked, sitting on Severus's bed. She had watched Severus pace around his room for twenty minutes, first relaying the story and then simply continuing to pace, deep in thought. Finally, she had to speak. She couldn't take Severus's silent, but obvious distress much longer.

Severus sat down beside her, "I simply do not know."

"Sev," Andi sat up on her knees and put her hands on his shoulder. "I know that you are trying to give her space to be an adult and figure things out, but when your child is drowning, you don't just let them die. You dive in and you pull them out."

"I appreciate that, Andromeda, but she has to learn to make her own mistakes," Severus reached around to squeeze the back of her neck, "She's an adult now. This is what parents of adults do."

"She's only eighteen, Severus. It's not like she is thirty and you are still bailing her out. And Merlin knows for what she has gone through in the past few years with you-know-who and my sister…she still very much needs you." She squeezed his shoulders, "Don't go against what is in your very nature. You know her better than all of us. You have been struggling for months not to interfere that it's caused a massive divide between you two. Would she have really taken our relationship so poorly if you and she were on solid footing?"

Severus let out his breath, "No, I think not."

"And what are your instincts telling you to do?"

He thought for a moment, "I made a promise to her after Sirius's death that I would always lead her out of the darkness that she faces…and that I would be able to do so because I've been in those depths before. My instinct…" Severus paused, trying to get hold of his emotion, but she knew he was struggling because his voice grew hoarse, "will always be to walk through the depths…through the inferno…to save her…even if it is from herself."

"Then go," Andi said, her eyes shining with her tears as she saw his heart and it made him love him even more than she already did…an emotion that remained unexpressed.

Severus studied her intently; his hand on her head and then leaned over for a kiss. "I love you, Andromeda," he looked into her eyes. "Completely."

She stilled. "You have never said that to me before," her voice cracked.

"It's been true for a while now. I'm just not the best with expressing my feelings."

She nodded and kissed him again, "I love you too, Severus. Now, go find your daughter."

He stood and summoned his clothes. He pulled on his pants and then his shirt. As he was buttoning it, she asked, "Where are you going to go?"

"Potter to start with. He'll have an idea of what is going on. Maybe Lupin next. I don't know. We'll see what Potter says. I don't want to involve Lupin unless absolutely necessary as he is one of Sarah's superiors."

"But she said she might need me?"

Severus nodded, sitting on the bed to pull on his boots, "What the hell do you think she did?"

Andi looked at him incredulously, "It must have been bad though, Sev."

Severus shook his head in disbelief and then with another kiss, bid Andi goodbye.

* * *

"You need a shower," George said, touching the soot on her cheek.

"I suspect I do," Sarah said, downing the shot of fire-whiskey and then sputtering. "This is so disgusting."

"Do you want wine or something instead?"

"Do you have wine?" she asked, titling her head.

"I could go get some. There is a shop around the corner. While you shower…"

"Where would I shower?"

"I have a shower, Black. Honestly."

"But I don't have clothes."

"You can wear one of my shirts."

She pursed her lips, "Are you trying to get me starkers, Weasley?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes, "It would come down to your knees, I'm so much taller than you."

She poured another two shots of fire-whiskey and handed him one, "And wider," she clicked his shot glass and downed it.

"Awful, hideous stuff," She grimaced, her braids shaking, more hair falling out of them. "Fine. I haven't showered in two days."

"Good," George nodded, pulling her braid, teasingly, "You are a mess."

"Ha ha," Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Lavatory through the bedroom. I'll leave a shirt on the bed and I will be back in ten. Feel free to use whatever you need in the lavatory."

She nodded. "Thanks."

* * *

She came out of the bedroom ten minutes later, George's shirt in fact swallowing her whole. She had a towel and she was wringing out her hair.

George was sitting on the couch, uncorking the wine. "Feeling better?"

"Actually, it was quite refreshing." She moved to sit on the couch with him and then take the glass of wine he had poured for them. "Let's get plastered." She took a sip of wine.

George summoned her crackers, "At least eat these while you are otherwise you will be vomiting all over my couch."

She nibbled on the cracker and then took another sip of wine. "I haven't gotten smashed before…well, maybe a wee bit with Lupin that one time."

George laughed, "With Lupin of all people…I can't imagine. Well, I take it your teenage rebellion came late…"

"Oh can you imagine if I had done this at fifteen? My arse would be sore for a week."

"Did Snape actually spank you?" George raised an eyebrow.

"Not often," Sarah amended with another swallow. "Probably just a handful of times…took a ruler to my hand when I was older. Hurt like the dickens."

"What did you do to deserve that?"

"There was that time I purposely went into his mind…" Sarah admitted, "Ahh, that was awful. He was so angry. And then there were times, he did it to properly punish me so Voldemort would be more inclined to go easy on me."

"And did he?"

"No, not really. He just took it out on muggles instead," She took another swallow of wine, "Did you know I went to see Snape tonight?"

"I figured that's where you were going," George said, "What happened?"

Sarah took another big gulp, "He's shagging Andromeda Tonks."

"Bloody hell," George spit out his wine, "A warning would have been nice leading up to that revelation."

"Sorry," Sarah said, apologetically as she poured George more.

"Drink it slower," George advised. "You already had two shots of firewhiskey. Sips, not huge swallows, Black. And eat the cracker. I'm serious. I'm not holding your hair for you tonight."

"I mean," Sarah put the glass down and picked up the cracker, "Snape is getting some…and it's been ages for me. Not since I was married…and speaking of marriage, is he and Andi married?" she shook her head, swiftly, "No, they are not!" she said, dramatically.

"Marriage isn't a requirement for shagging," George said, amused.

"Oh, yes. Yes, it is. Snape said it was," Sarah said, wagging her finger, "Bloody hypocrite," She grunted.

George laughed, "I think he was probably only referring to his teenage daughter shagging her boyfriend, not him."

"Still, bloody hypocrite," Sarah said, dramatically taking another sip of wine and then sitting it down. "And is every one shagging except me? I had to sit Harry down and explain to him the use of silencing charms because your sister is just so loud."

"Oh bloody hell," George grunted, reaching for the fire-whiskey and pouring himself another shot, "That's my sister you are talking about. I'm going to kill Potter."

She waved her hand, "They have been doing it for the past year. And then there is Ron and Hermione, though Hermione swears they haven't yet. And Luna and Neville."

"Luna and Neville?" George asked, incredulously, "really?"

"Yeah, Neville is a real catch these days," Sarah said, seriously. "And of course, Snape and Andromeda." She picked up her wine for another big gulp. "Let's not forget about them. My dad is having sex…and I'm not. Isn't that twisted?"

George grunted, "Didn't see that one coming."

"Me either," Sarah said, her mouth gaping open. "Snape and Andromeda? She's the grandmother of my godson! And like my second cousin three times removed or something like that. We are bloody related."

"And," George added, dramatically, "She looks like Bellatrix…Merlin, do you think he wanted to shag Bellatrix?"

"I always thought he had a thing for Narcissa Malfoy," Sarah admitted, downing the rest of her wine, "More please," and George poured her more, "but I never thought he would get over Lily." She took another sip. "He practically killed himself for Harry to atone for her death. I mean…that's _love_."

"Or guilt," George offered.

"Or both, maybe. And now, Andi…"

"Isn't she older than him?" George asked,

"Snape's mature," she waved him off, dismissively. She sunk back, curling her legs up, "I'm feeling loopy already."

"No wonder," George said, "you have had a lot of alcohol in the past hour."

"And I'm not used to it either," she said, rubbing her head and sighing, "it's been a night, George."

"Sarah," George leaned back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Sarah stared up at the imperfections in the ceiling, "What is it?"

"Tonight…you called me Fred."

"No, I didn't," Sarah laughed. She paused, her mind wandering back to that moment. She looked over at him, "Did I?"

"Before you cast the fiendfyre, you said that she's coming and _Fred, she's going to kill you_."

Sarah bit her lip, "I don't understand."

"I think you were having some sort of flashback to the last battle," George said, his hands on his knees. "It's no wonder, Sarah, we all went through hell that night. You especially."

"They are going to sack me for sure," Sarah sniffled.

"Are you going to cry?" George asked, frowning.

"NO!" She said, indignantly, and then she buried her head in her knees, "Will they send me to Azkaban?"

"No," George took another drink of his wine and then put it down. He reached to put his hand on her head, "I told them that Yaxley cast the curse and you diverted it, turning it around."

She lifted her head to meet his eyes, "Why would you do that?"

"Because…" he paused, "you would have saved him…if you had the choice…you would have brought the fury of thunder down to save him…"

"That's so poetic," she gave him a small smile.

"I like to read. It was Fred that detested it," George admitted, "but that's not the point. You showed your loyalty tonight…and bloody hell, I would have done that too. I would have use whatever magic I could to save him. And tonight, you also saved both of our arses in the process." He reached to put his finger under her chin, "And I think you are brilliant. I never saw what he saw…until tonight."

She continued to stare at him, meeting his eyes, "You have been so awful to me. And now, you aren't."

"We were friends for years, Sarah."

"Yeah…" she rubbed her head, "I'm feeling plastered already."

"Maybe you should rest," George said, "Here, put your head on my lap."

She laid down and put her head in his lap. He began to rub her head. She closed her eyes as his hand moved down her neck and under the neckline of the shirt, his fingers dancing along her upper back. "Hum…" She turned over to look up at him. "Why is everyone in this world in a relationship except me? What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," George said.

"Draco and I almost had sex at the New Year's ball. My knickers were on the floor and we had to hide under the desk in the library because Robards and Harry came in."

"I'd say you dodged one with that one," George said, quietly.

"Why did you break up with Katie?"

George shrugged, "I didn't think I had the right to be happy."

She sat up, "You do, you know." She leaned her cheek against his. "Every right."

He maneuvered his head and before she could respond, he kissed her. And all the emotions of the day (and the alcohol consumed), burst forth…she kissed him back with such a fervor and passion. They kissed for several minutes, their hands all over each other.

"Sarah," he moaned, "We're further gone than we think we are."

"I don't care," she said and at the moment, she didn't. She reached for his shirt, pulling it off of him and then reached to unbutton his pants, unzipping them.

He scooped her up on his lap and before she knew it, his hand snaked under her shirt and her knickers were untangled from her legs.

"Ah," she gasped as he pressed and rocked against her. His hands rather frantically unbuttoned the two few buttons of the shirt she was wearing, opening it up to snake his hand in, inside her bra…all the while they were kissing without a care in the world…But then he touched her, caressed her tenderly…and in that moment, for that moment… she was on Snape's bed again…with Fred, the first time a man had ever touched her in that way.

In that moment, it wasn't George with her…it was him again. Her mind was already dulled by the fire-whiskey and wine, but even in it, she just knew…she knew this wasn't right. Actually, it was the furthest thing from right.

"Wait a second," she flung herself away, breathlessly. "Just wait."

He gripped her hips to keep her from tumbling of the couch, "What is it?"

"I…" she gripped her forehead, "I don't think this is right."

"Why?" George asked, his eyes on her. "What's wrong? Don't you want to?"

"Of course I do," she admitted, "really badly. But it's for the wrong reasons."

He paused, reaching up to brush the hair from her eyes.

"Please don't be sweet to me now," she entreated, softly.

And then he knew. "Bloody hell, Sarah."

She slid off of him and leaned against the couch, her legs curled up against her, her eyes staring at the ceiling again. "I look at you…and sometimes I see him…"

"We are identical twins. We used to confuse mum all the time for the hell of it," George said, softly, reaching over to squeeze the back of her neck, comforting her.

"But, it still isn't right. I'm so mental, George. I'm sorry!" she began to cry.

"Aw, Black, don't cry. I'm not mad at you," he scooted over and put his arm around her, "I have a confession too…that perhaps is just as twisted as yours if not even more."

"What?" Sarah asked, dropping her head, wearily on his arm, and George continued,

"Sometimes I look at you…and sometimes, I can almost feel him here too…like I'm living _his_ life…and he is still here. Being with you…makes me feel that…and that's just as twisted as you seeing him."

"I miss him," she said, the tears still falling, "If I had just seen what Bella was doing like he did. I could have been the one to save him."

"And then you would have been dead," George said, quietly, "he wouldn't have wanted that for the world."

"I'm lonely," Sarah said, rubbing her head against his arm, "I'm so lonely."

"Me too," George ducked his head on hers.

"I just want to be normal."

"I know."

"I wanted to just shut off my mind and have fun…any other person our age can have a drunken shag, but I can't even do it without making everything so damn complicated."

"Maybe," he rubbed her head, "it's just not who you are, Sarah. Drunk or not."

"He has taken everything from me," She pulled away, determined, "I have to go."

"Where?" George asked, incredulously, "I don't think you are in any condition to go anywhere."

"I'll be fine," she said…"can I borrow your jacket?"

He nodded and she pulled his jacket from the hook, "I'll see you in the morning."

She went back to the table, "I almost forgot this. Can't forget this."

She reached for her wand…and then the bottle of wine, "Can I take this too?"

"Sure," George nodded, as if there was nothing the least bit odd in her request.

She waved at him.

"Sarah, your knickers," he called, but she was already gone.

* * *

"I don't know, Severus," Harry patted down his hair and leaned against the door, "George said Yaxley cast the fiendfyre curse and she turned it around and the result killed them all."

Severus's eyes narrowed, "That wouldn't make her as upset as she was when she came to my quarters."

Harry thought about and frowned, "Do you think George is lying? No, offense, but I can't see him lying for Sarah. I mean they are doing better, but not _that_ better."

"I suppose, we'll have to ask him then," Severus said, resolutely. "Are you coming?"

Harry nodded, "Sure. But…why did Sarah leave you? If she was that upset and came to you, why did she leave?"

"She found out that Andromeda Tonks and I are in a relationship. I hadn't told her."

"She walked in on you?" Harry's mouth dropped.

"No," Severus snapped, "Nothing as unseemly as that. She saw Andi's bag and deduced…honestly, Potter, she is my child. She isn't a dunderhead. She can put two and two together."

Harry grinned, "You and Andi, huh?"

"Oh, just stop," Severus scowled, "Now, she is a mess. Let's pack a bag for her. Wherever she has landed, she will need clothes."

"Is she really that upset about you and Andi?" Harry asked.

"I think…" Snape paused as he walked upstairs to Sarah's room and swiped his wand, a small bag packing with a change of clothes. He zipped it up, "I think perhaps, it is the omission of truth…she's had to live with a lot of that from me."

"You know…she feels your disapproval…and it's hard for her to handle…that's why she stays away."

"I know," Severus said, his voice short as he gripped her bag, "Let's go, Harry."

* * *

Severus stood in George Weasley's flat. "What do you mean you let her go?"

George shrugged, "I'm not her child minder, Snape."

Severus's eyes scanned the room…to rest on the bottle of fire-whiskey, the two shot glasses, the two wine glasses each with some wine residue left on the bottom of them.

He frowned, "What state exactly did she leave in, Weasley?"

"She's a bit plastered," George admitted, "like me."

"A bit?" Harry muttered.

"Maybe more than a bit," George said with a wry smile.

"And what exactly caused her to want to intoxicate herself?"

"She figured out that you have been shagging Andromeda Tonks," George said, still grinning. "Way to go, Snape."

"Watch yourself, Weasley," Severus growled, "I will not have you disrespecting Andromeda…not in my presence."

He held up his hands, "I'm not disrespecting anyone, Snape. I'm just relaying the facts. She found out that you and Andi," he grinned again, "and then she came here and wanted to drink with me."

"But she was upset before she found that out," Snape said exasperated and then took and let out his breath. Dealing with a Weasley was hard enough…dealing with an intoxicated one was close to torture. "So do tell me…what caused her to come to me in the first place?" he questioned.

"Like I told the ministry, she turned the curse around," George said, crossing his arms.

"For Merlin's sake. I want to help here. We both know that is not the whole of it," Snape said, "now kindly tell me the full story so I can help protect her. Why did she say she needed a solicitor?"

"I have taken care of it," George said. "You don't need to protect her."

"Clearly," Snape drawled, sarcastically.

It was at that moment, Harry's eyes caught Sarah's discarded knickers, steps away from his foot. He gave George an exasperated look and motioned to the knickers. George shrugged and in desperation of what would happen if Snape found those, Harry attempted to cover them with his foot, but the motion, caused Snape to turn his frustration on Harry.

"Honestly, can't you stop fidgeting for two moments, Harry?" Snape snapped but then he saw what he was doing.

He stared for a few moments, his hands turning in to fists before he turned his steely gaze back on George. "I'll ask you one more time…" his voice was low, but his anger was made clear, "in what state did my daughter leave your flat?" he growled.

"She's wearing my shirt," George said, his look turning weary at Snape's fatherly wrath. "And she asked to borrow my jacket."

"For Merlin's sake, Weasley!" he thundered. "you call this taking care of it?! Did you have sex with her?"

"No, I swear," George held up his hands in defeat, "We just fooled around a bit."

Snape's scowl was fierce, "You just fooled around a bit," he repeated, "while she was intoxicated?"

"We are both intoxicated," George drawled. "And it's not like we really did anything…I didn't even go inside h.."

Harry's eyes were wide, "Bloody hell, stop talking, mate," he interrupted, quickly and then stepped in front of Snape.

"And that makes it all the better, Weasley?!" Snape thundered, stepping around Harry, "You are her partner. You are supposed to be taking care of her…not providing her alcohol and some cheap thrills."

"Look," George held up his hands again, "it really wasn't anything that bad. And she's not a little kid anymore. If she wants to have causal shags with whomever she wants to, she should be able to do that. And you shouldn't have any say in the matter."

Harry frowned, running his hand through his hair, "But I thought you two didn't like each other."

George shrugged, "I rather thought she was imagining I was my brother," he paused, "Actually, I rather thought I was imagining I was my brother too."

Snape turned around abruptly and went and smacked his hand against the door to George's flat.

Harry glanced at Snape, concerned, and then turned to George, "Listen, mate, we just need to know where you think she could have went. She isn't dressed and she clearly has had too much to drink. We just want her to be safe."

"Harry," George poured himself another shot. He had drank some more after Sarah had gone and he was really uninhibited now, "Have you ever seen Sarah starkers?"

Harry grimaced, "No, mate."

"Me either," he sighed, "she had my shirt on. I wish she had taken it off completely...I only opened it a bit to stick my hand in...she feels so good, Harry. You have no idea. And the way she snogs...do you think Malfoy taught her how do do that?"

"Potter," Snape thundered, "I'm going to curse him. I won't be able to help myself. I'll end up in Azkaban and for once in my life, I have a future that doesn't look dreadful, so…Merlin help me…" he took a shuddering breath, trying to control himself. "I'm making you coffee, Weasley. You need to sober up." He went over to his small kitchen and swiped his wand.

Harry went to sit next to George and take the shot glass and the firewhiskey from his hand. "No more of this, for you," he said. "Now, what happened tonight?"

"I think she thought I was Fred," George said, again.

"You said that," Harry said.

"No," George put his finger to his lips, "Not then…but before."

Snape left the kitchen to enter the living room again, "What do you mean by before," he questioned, "when you were facing Yaxley?"

"She had some sort of flashback and she thought she was protecting Fred."

Snape let out his breath, "Did Sarah use the fiendfyre curse?"

"Yeah," George said, "it was bloody wicked. Turned everyone to ashes. Do you think he taught her to do that?"

Harry jumped up, "Severus, you don't think she went to…."

"Voldemort's manor," Snape grimaced, "I think that is precisely where she is." He wagged his finger at Weasley, "No more fire-whiskey. And drink that coffee. Don't burn down your flat."

"I won't," George said, leaning back.

"Though…if you know what is good for you, you will _never_ take advantage of my daughter again…"

"Sarah has her own mind, Snape," Harry intervened. "It sounds pretty consensual to me."

"I understand that, Potter," Snape replied, "and believe you me, Sarah and I will discuss her choices at length tonight…but when you have a daughter, you'll understand the inclination to curse any man that touches her…whether it is logical or not. Now are you coming?" he asked.

"Of course," Harry said, shooting George an apologetic look, "Let's go."

* * *

"I was waiting for you to come back," Voldemort said as Sarah gazed at the painting. His eyes narrowed, "What are you wearing?" he demanded as he saw her oversized man's shirt and jacket.

"I couldn't do it," she sniffled, crying, "I'm plastered and I still couldn't do it. You really fucked me up."

"Oh dear," Voldemort sat down in his leather chair, "are we talking about sex here?"

She grunted, "No. Of course not."

"Yes, we are," he said, amused, "Who were you trying to have sex with?"

She gripped her wand and the bottle of wine, but remained silent. "I'm going to have more wine."

"Oh, no," Voldemort growled at her, "You have had quite enough, young lady," he told her sternly.

"See if you can stop me," Sarah taunted and then she took a gulp straight out of the bottle.

"Tom!" Voldemort called.

Tom apparated in, the house elf bowing as he did, "My Lord?"

"Kindly take Miss Black's bottle of wine."

Sarah hugged it against her, "This is mine!"

The house elf snapped his fingers and the wine disappeared.

"That's not fair, evil incarnate!" she pouted.

"Your names for me are just so charming, little one," Voldemort looked smug, "And even from the grave, I am in control."

"Bugger off," Sarah said, crossing her arms, hugging herself.

"Now, let's see…where were we?" Voldemort twined his hands, "Whom did you try to shag but were unsuccessful?" He thought for a moment, "I shall attempt to guess. Was it Longbottom?"

"No, of course not."

"Potter?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she laughed.

"Someone older? Someone younger?" he paused, "Weasley's twin, perhaps?"

Her mouth dropped open, "How did you know that?"

"I have exceptional powers of deduction," Voldemort drawled, "and there is a W on the jacket you are wearing,"

"Oh," she said, sighing. She plopped down on the couch and curled her legs up, hugging them, making sure the shirt was covering her properly.

"Oh yes, please do have a seat, dear one."

"I want my wine back," she grunted.

"I think you have definitely have had your fair share tonight," Voldemort crossed his arms. "Why couldn't you finish the deed with Weasley tonight?" He paused. "Were you imagining it was his brother? Your dear departed Fred?"

She waved her hand at him, "Just shut it! Shut it! You don't know everything!"

"You came to me tonight, little one," Voldemort's voice turned soothing, "and clearly there is a reason for it. What is it?"

"I don't even know why I am here," she said.

"Besides the fact you are intoxicated, which by the way, imbibing is a dreadful show of weakness," he told her, sternly.

"You drank," Sarah shot back at him.

"Of course, I did. But I could hold my liquor. Unlike you, clearly."

"I hate you," she scowled up at him. "With a passion."

"And yet you came to me…" Voldemort eyes were on her.

She buried her head in her knees, "I just need to rest a little. My head feels so funny. May I?"

"Of course," Voldemort nodded, seriously. "Go on. Rest for a bit. I have all the time in the world."

She sighed and closed her eyes. She sat there for a good ten minutes before lifting her head.

"Do you feel better?"

"No," she groaned.

"Why do you look so tortured, little one?" Voldemort asked, softly. "Tell me."

She bit her lip, hesitant. "I don't know."

"Let's not be coy, dear one. Yes, you do. And you want to tell me. Now, tell me all about it. What happened?"

"The fiendfyre curse…"

"I taught you that," Voldemort looked delighted, "did you use it tonight?"

"Yes," her voice was defeated.

"The great auror, Sarah Black, descending into darkness," Voldemort chuckled, "the darkness I instilled in you…the darkness that pops up at the most inopportune times…go on…why did you use it?"

"Yaxley. He caught us and they were firing curses in all directions and I had some sort of flashback to Fred and Bella and I don't know…I just did it."

"Of course you did. You did it because it is how I taught you how to respond to a curse," Voldemort retorted, "And what were the results?"

"They're dead."

"Are you sulking?" Voldemort's voice was stern.

"If it wasn't for George, I would be sacked."

He waved his hand at her, "No you wouldn't," he said. "the aurors need you."

"I'm a horrible person," her voice cracked, "I don't even know why I am here."

"Because I understand you better than them all," Voldemort said, "you are drawn to me, Sarah Grace. Down in the far recesses of your soul…you are drawn to me. You always have been."

"No," Sarah said, dejectedly, "No, that's not true." Tears sprang to her eyes.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know…I thought you would understand…"

"Did you now?" Voldemort mused, "I'm touched."

"I'm leaving now," Sarah stood and took a step to the door but Voldemort's voice stopped her.

"You came to me because you know that I am incapable of revealing your pain…your emotional weakness to others. You must remain stoic and strong to continue with your position as an auror. The conflict within you…must be hidden…but here, it can be revealed. That's why you are here. My only question is why didn't you go to Snape?"

She turned slowly around, "I did."

"And?"

"He was with Andromeda Tonks. And apparently it wasn't the first time."

"Does that bother you? Surely, you will allow your father some sort of happiness."

"It bothers me that he didn't tell me that he and her were dating…for months. Why didn't he tell me?" She asked, her lip trembling.

"Maybe he thought you couldn't handle it maturely and from the looks of it, that wouldn't be far off," he scolded, "honestly, Sarah. I'm gone for a year and this is what you come to. You would have done much better if I had lived. At least your path would have been determined for you…you would have been my mistress. You would be protected. I would have cared for you…provided for all your needs. More than that, I would have given you all your desires…you wouldn't have to struggle to find your way. Tell me you haven't thought of it that way."

Sarah sat back down, "No."

"Not even a little?" Voldemort pressed. "You do know I can help you. I can help you find your way. You have my mind now, Sarah. I can lead you."

She took a shuddering breath, "No."

"You are clearly so lost," Voldemort soothed, "Let me help you."

"I think you have done enough," Snape thundered from the doorway.

Sarah grimaced at his look. He was angry, barely controlling his temper.

"Kindly, leave my daughter alone," Snape spat.

"She came to me tonight, Severus."

"Because you have somehow gotten in her head," Harry spoke up from behind Sev.

"Oh my, the whole gang is here," Voldemort drawled, delighted. "What a pleasure."

Sarah put her hand on her head, "Everyone just go away."

"I'm mounted here," Voldemort said, seriously. "But do feel free to send the others away. This is your home now. You are well within your rights, dear one."

"We aren't leaving her here with you," Harry said, calmly. He turned to Sarah, who was pale faced and shaking from the spot on the couch."Why are you here anyway?" he demanded. "You promised you would never come here again."

"He's the only one who understands me," Sarah stood, walking over to him, "Don't you understand, Harry?" she cried, her hands on his arms, "those months I was at Malfoy Manor with him…he changed me. He gets me. More than anyone."

"Sarah," Harry looked horrified."Do you really believe that?"

"See," she dropped her hands, "you see me as broken…and I am. He understands my struggles. And he's always listened to me."

Snape cleared his throat, "That's not true, Sarah Grace."

"Oh, but it is, Severus. Sarah and I may have not been having sex, but we did develop a sort of intimacy. It's natural she would come to me tonight in her distress," Voldemort said, "Speaking of that, congratulations on Andromeda. I always thought the Black women were delectable. I was never interested in Andi, but I do believe Sarah would have been such a pleasure…"

"Enough!" Snape barked, "You have no power here," Snape wiped his wand and the portrait was covered magically.

"Now, Sarah," Snape looked at her evenly.

She backed away and then turned to go sit on the couch, "Go away, Snape."

"I'm not going anywhere," Snape said, evenly, "And certainly not because you command me to. And furthermore, you don't talk to your father in such a disrespectful way."

"Then go ahead and spank me," She challenged.

"Believe you me, I am _sorely_ tempted. And I may just do so before that night is out," Snape growled. "Now, let's go."

"I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay here."

"I'm not giving you a choice," He leaned down and pulled her up.

"Snape!" she grunted. "I want to stay here."

"Honestly, look at you. You are half dressed and wandering around the country. Anything could have happened to you." He reached down to button the buttons that George had undone so she was covered up properly again. "This is the very last place you need to be. I'm taking you home."

"Home? Where's that? I don't have a home!" she cried.

"Yes, you do. Your home will always be wherever I am. And at the moment, that's Hogwarts," Severus said. "Harry wants to come too. And you and I are going to talk tonight. _A lot_. We are going to deal with everything that happened tonight and all these choices you have made."

And before she could process what was happening, he swiped his wand over one of Voldemort's books. "A portkey. Go on. Potter, you too."

Harry put his hand on the book, "Sarah," he said, "Go on," he coaxed.

She reached out her hand and touched the book too and they were transported back to Hogwarts.

"Oh, damn it," Sarah cursed and rushed off for the lavatory.

"Stay here, Potter," Severus instructed and took off after her.

Sarah began retching over the toilet, her knees shaking on the cold, hard floor.

"Go away," she cried when she felt Snape reach for her hair, twisting it up into a ponytail.

"You have a lot to drink tonight," Snape's voice was low. "And you mixed your drinks. This was inevitable."

"Please go away," she cried as she vomited more.

"I'm not going," Snape said, swiping his wand to summon a towel. "Lift your knees up."

"Go!" Sarah cried.

"I said, I'm not going," Snape snapped, "Do you actually think you become of age and then you can start bossing me about? You must be quite far gone to actually think that is true."

"I'm so mortified," she cried, retching again.

"Really, this is what you choose to be mortified about? Vomiting in my presence?" Snape chided, his tone sarcastic, "Not that I had to find your knickers on Weasley's floor and listen to him tell me how far he exactly went with you?"

She froze and then turned her head, "Really?" she asked, weakly.

"Oh yes, Sarah Grace," Severus raised an eyebrow. "what the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm plastered."

"Clearly," Snape glared, "and you thought mixing alcohol in the midst of your emotional distress was a wise choice?"

She sniffled and Snape summoned a wash cloth. "Lean against the vanity. We are going to be here longer," he instructed, "probably much longer from the looks of things."

"I don't have to listen to you," Sarah glared at him.

"And the moment, I don't care how old you are," Snape growled at her, "You will listen to me and you will obey me. I have spent half the night searching the country for you to bring you home. I have been beside myself with worry over your emotional state. You don't just run away like that. You stay and handle situations maturely like the woman I raised you to be. You don't go and get plastered and then try to shack up with the first man you see. And you certainly don't go half dressed to Voldemort for comfort. You stay and we deal with this. Do you understand me?"

"I didn't ask you to follow me," she retorted.

"Well, I have news for you, little girl. I will always follow you if you need me to," Severus said, brushing her hair aside.

She smacked at his hand, "You shouldn't," she grunted. "And please don't touch me."

"Why not?" his hand froze midair.

Her lip trembled.

"Sarah," Snape prompted, his voice stern.

"Don't you see?" she cried.

"See what?" Snape asked, his hand still frozen.

"I'm…" she began to sob, "I'm just such a hopeless case, Snape. Just…go to Andi…go to Andi and be happy. You deserve that."

"And you don't?" Severus asked, his voice low.

"I'll…I'll never be happy again…never again. That is my penance. That is my plight in life," she cried. "to be miserable."

He extended his hand again to touch her hair, "That's simply not true."

"But it is!" she cried. "I'm dark. I'm evil. Look at what I did tonight."

"You were trying to protect the ones you love. That's not evil." He continued to rub her head.

"Harry never compromised. I should be in Azkaban or at the very least sacked…but that's what you want, don't you?"

"No!" Snape tipped up her chin, "I don't want you sacked."

She grimaced, "I'm going to sick up again."

He maneuvered her to the toilet and she began vomiting.

"Sev?" Andi knocked on the door, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Hi Andi," Sarah said, in between retches. "I'm sorry I ruined your night."

"That doesn't matter, Sarah," Andi smiled at her. "Too much to drink, I take it?"

"I guess Lupin really did moderate my alcohol that one time," Sarah said, groaning.

"I need a hair tie or something for her," Severus said, "And she needs her clothes. I packed a bag from Grimmauld Place. Maybe transfigure them into pajamas. Ask Potter to do that. And she needs her knickers. This lavatory is drafty."

"That's the least of my worries," Sarah muttered. Snape patted her back.

"Indeed, though that should comprise some of your worries given the cause of you losing your knickers," Severus countered, dryly.

"Where are her knickers?" Andi asked, curiously.

"At George," Sarah retched again, "Weasley's flat."

"Really?" Andi asked. "I thought you two didn't like each other."

"He's growing on me," Sarah groaned. "And…things were kind of twisted tonight."

"That's an understatement, Sarah Grace," Severus reached for her hand and put it on her hair, "Hold this for a second. I'll be back."

He motioned to Andi.

"Was it awful?" Andi asked, giving a sympathetic look.

"We might need your legal advice," Severus said, discreetly, "She had a flashback when they were fighting Yaxley and a slew of death eaters and she cast the fiendfyre curse, killing them all. George covered for her, but I'm not sure we should let that stand. And then, George and her decided to get drunk together tonight and apparently the result ended in Sarah losing her knickers to fool around,"

Andi raised her eyebrow, "He told you that?"

"I found her knickers on the floor!" Severus exclaimed, "But don't worry, Andromeda, I was informed that they fooled around, but didn't actually have intercourse," he frowned. "though he did express regret that he didn't get to see her fully _starkers_."

"Goodness, how are you not in Azkaban?" Andi's eyes were wide.

"Oh believe me, Andromeda," Snape said, dryly, "it took every part of my being not to curse him with the darkest curses I know, but if it wasn't for you…and I suppose her, I would have."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "You are such a good father, Sev. I love it."

"But that's not all," Severus said, forlorn, "And then, to top it all off, she goes half dressed to Voldemort's manor for a little comfort and advice from the Dark Lord's portrait."

"Is there a portrait?" Andi asked, frowning.

"Oh yes, there is. Something Potter and Black have been hiding from the aurors, but that is beside the point. Sarah decided it would be a good idea to share her troubles with the Dark Lord because he was the only one who _understood_ her."

"Oh, Sev," Andi winced, "that's awful and completely unfair to you."

"Yes, it is. At which point, I dragged her away from there and portkeyed her back here and now I'm holding her hair while she vomits all the alcohol she drank tonight but didn't properly hydrate and consumed on an empty stomach. Let's see. I believe that pretty much sums it up."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to hold her hair while she vomits and then try to talk some sense into her. But I'd appreciate if you go to my stores to get me some hangover potion."

"I will do that," Andi leaned over to kiss his cheek, "And Harry? He's asking about her, but I think he is afraid to come in here, not so much because of her sicking up, but she knows how the two of you get under circumstances like these. And rightly so, he doesn't want to get in the middle of it."

"He's growing wise in his older age," Severus muttered.

"But he doesn't want to leave until he is sure she is okay."

"He can sleep on the couch or in Sarah's room tonight if he wants to stay close by," Sev said.

"I can stay in her room," Harry called from the living room, "We have shared a bed before."

Severus rolled his eyes, "And they wonder why Miss Weasley has such difficulty with their relationship," he said wryly to Andi.

She smirked. "They are such children," she whispered.

"I heard that," Sarah called from inside the lavatory.

"We should have used silencing charms," Sev muttered. "Enough out of you," he called, "you are in far too much trouble to be snarky."

"Noted," Sarah grimaced and they heard the sounds of vomiting again.

"Poor girl," Andi winced.

"She deserves it and more," Sev countered.

"Should I go home?"

He shook his head, "I want you to stay tonight. It's late anyway."

"Okay," she smiled at him , "As long as you are sure."

"It's the anniversary of a horrendous event in both of our lives…I wanted you here. And I still want you here."

"I'm glad," Andi said, "Thanks for letting me into your life."

He nodded and she went off to do what he asked while he went back into the lavatory.

Sarah was still throwing up in the toilet.

"Still?" Sev asked, lightly.

"I'm so nauseous," she moaned. "Merlin help me, why do people do this?"

"I suppose it feels good at the time," Sev said, taking over holding her hair for her. "Andi is getting you a hair tie and some clothes."

"Dad," Sarah retched more, but then the nausea waned.

"Are you good?" he asked.

"For now," she said, out of breath.

She leaned back against the vanity, pulling George's shirt around her legs. Snape summoned a blanket from the other room to wrap around her shoulders and around her front, completely covering her.

"I'm sorry," she frowned.

"I know you are," Sev said.

"I do like Andi, Dad," she murmured, resting her head against the vanity and looking up at the ceiling. "I like her a lot."

"I know you do, Sarah," Snape said, "I didn't doubt that. She knows it too."

"I even like you together…you deserve to find love after Lily. I just wish you had told me."

"I should have," Snape nodded, "And I really need to see you at least every other week. It went far too long, but I allowed it. And that was wrong."

"I really fucked up tonight, Dad."

"Yes, you did," Snape said, nodding seriously.

She sniffled hard, "I hate myself. I hate myself so much!" Tears began to fall.

"Come here," Snape said, reaching for her. "Lay your head down. You are so shattered."

She laid her head on his lap, "There you go," he said and he began to rub her head, tenderly.

"Are they going to send me to Azkaban?"

"No," Snape shook his head, swiftly, "No one is going to send you anywhere. You aren't going to lose your job either."

"He changed me. It's true."

"I don't doubt it. You are different from your time at Malfoy Manor. But that doesn't mean he ruined you…or that he pulled you into darkness. Yaxley was going to kill you, Sarah. You saved both you and George."

"But I thought he was Fred," Sarah cried, shivering, "What was wrong with me?"

"Oh, child," Snape said, "It's the anniversary of Fred's death. Of course you flashed back. His identical twin was next to you and you haven't slept in days."

"Does George hate me?" Sarah winced. "After what I did?"

"Almost having sex with him?" Snape asked, his voice low, "I don't think so. But I would caution you against a relationship with George. You two have so much baggage and it would be too easy for both of you to fall into the trap of having this be a replacement for Fred."

"I miss Fred," she sobbed. "I miss him so much."

"I know you do."

"I did love him. I chose Draco because I had to and I did love Draco, but that doesn't mean that my feelings for Fred went away. I did love him."

"I know you did," Snape affirmed.

"I would have been so happy with him," she swallowed hard.

"You'll be happy with someone else one day," Snape stroked her hair.

"Whom?" she cried. "Everyone has someone…except me."

"You are only eighteen years old. Don't settle right now, child," Snape said.

"I'm drawn to Voldemort," she whimpered.

"He draws you to him through manipulation…even from the grave," Snape continued to stroke her hair, "you have to tell the ministry about the portrait. You have to make a clean break from him."

"But what about you?" Sarah asked.

Snape shrugged, "They can't try me for the same crimes once again. They really do know the full extent to what I did while serving Voldemort and they cleared me of the charges because it was part of my role as a spy."

"But he knows what I did…torturing the house elves and…"

"So, you tell Robards the truth of everything you did with Voldmort. And everything that happened tonight…well, besides the George part of it…don't tell him that," Snape amended, "Andi and Lupin will go with you. And he can decide as your superior what to do."

"Why am I so weak?"

"You are not weak," Snape countered, "you are incredibly strong. He has drawn in much lesser witches and wizards than you, Sarah Grace. And the amount of pressure he applied to you at such a young age…it's a wonder you were even able to stand firm. But you did stand firm! Do you recall what you did a year ago? You stood in front of him and you declared your allegiance. And that has never changed. You have never wavered to him. Don't cause him to doubt yourself. You are a strong woman and that's what drew him to you. But you have your life back. And it's a life of your choosing."

She sniffled and then slid up and reached to put her arms around Snape. She rested her head on his chest.

"I find it troublesome, Sarah Grace, that you feel like Voldemort is the only person you understands you. After eight years, are we really that far from understanding each other?"

"I came to you first, Dad," Sarah said, crying in his arms, "I knew you would understand and know exactly what to do but then I found out about Andi and I thought you…I don't know…" she cried, "I'm a horrible daughter."

"No, you aren't," he pulled her close around her, "I'm so thankful for you."

"Please tell me that you love me."

"You can burn down all of Hogwarts and I will still love you," Snape said, wryly.

"Why did you come for me tonight?"

"Because as Andi told me early, when your child is drowning, you go rescue them…and because I remembered a promise I made you long ago, Sarah Grace. After Sirius's death, do you remember?"

She snuggled closer to him, "You told me that no matter what darkness I face you would lead me through it because you have faced it too so you knew what to do."

"And I stand by that. You come to me and we deal with this. At eighteen, Sarah Grace, I actually joined Voldemort," he adjusted her and then pushed up his sleeve, "This is what I did at your age," he pointed to the dark mark. I chose him and it wasn't to protect anyone. It was because I believed in him. I understand completely what is like to make those choices."

Her lip quivered, "I know."

He put both hands on her head, "You are going to have a beautiful life, Sarah Grace," he told her, firmly, "While I have breath, I will not allow you to settle for less."

"Do you believe I can do this?"

"You can absolutely do this. And if you want to continue to be an auror, I have no doubt you will be the best there is. But," his voice became low, "if you want at any point in the next year or two or five or ten, want to do something different, I'll support you. Don't give up your dreams completely."

She closed her eyes, "I'm so tired," she laid back down to rest her head back on his lap.

"We'll give you the potion and get you into bed," he stroked her hair again, "But Potter is not sleeping in the same bed as you. You two need to start acting like adults and you may be best friends, but he is in a relationship. You need to draw limits."

"We only did that once," she murmured, "promise."

"I know," Severus said, soothingly.

There was a knock on the door, "Hey, Snape?" Harry poked his head through the door, "Here's Sarah's clothes. I transfigured them in pajamas and her…um…other things are there."

Sarah giggled, "Oh, Harry. You have a girlfriend and two best friends that are girls. You can say the word knickers."

"Don't be snarky with him," Snape poked at her, "It's the middle of the night and he is here."

"Harry's the best," Sarah smiled up at him, "Thanks, mate."

"No problem, Paddy," Harry grinned at him, "but the next time you want to get plastered, you have a best friend. I don't know why you keep going to Lupin and George for things. Ron and I would be happy to drink with you."

"There will be no more of this…" Snape said, but then frowned, "Well, if you two do feel inclined, then we should talk about the best way to do so."

"Yes, Dad," Sarah sighed, "because there has to be a better way. This is horrid."

Harry gave Sarah a sympathetic smile, "Andi is making toast for her and has the potion too…but Severus, I need to talk to you for a minute," Harry said.

Severus shifted Sarah. "Get dressed, Sarah," he told her, "but do so slowly and if you feel like you are going to pass out or vomit, call for me."

"Got it," she nodded.

Severus stood and went to the door, shutting it behind him. "What is it, Harry?"

"Lupin is here. He had to bring Teddy. He's sleeping in a portable crib in your room."

Snape frowned, "It's a crowded house tonight. What was so pressing?"

"He can tell you more, but the press has the story now. The ministry can't keep it a secret any longer. It's going to be everywhere come the morning."

"What story?" Snape demanded, "What has happened?"

"The press knows that Voldemort named Sarah as his heir."

"Oh for Merlin's sake," Snape cursed. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know, but she is going to be hounded for a while. Lupin wants to stay to take her into the ministry. And then Grimmauld Place will probably be the safest place for her. But it's going to be rough for a while."

Snape let out his breath, "And to think that before tonight, things were going so splendidly."

"Who is going to tell her?"

"We let her sleep tonight, Potter," Sev said firmly, "She has had too much to deal with for one day. Tomorrow, we'll tell her."

Harry nodded and left. Snape leaned against the door, closing his eyes.

"You are going to need all that strength we talked about, Sarah Grace, both of us…" he murmured. "We'll do this…together."

 **Up next** : The press has the story & Sarah gets her new assignment, one that takes Sarah in a whole new, unfamiliar direction. :)


	12. A New Direction

**Chapter 12** : **A New Direction**

Sarah woke up, her head pounding. She groaned and shuffled out of bed to the lavatory. It had been a long night. She used the loo and as she was washing her hands, her eye caught the bottle of potion on her lavatory counter and Snape's scrawled handwriting.

 _You'll need this._

Indeed.

She poured the potion into the measuring vial and then downed it, the ache almost immediately subsiding. She ran her fingers through her scraggly hair. She needed a shower. But before, she needed something in her stomach. Sarah wandered down the hall to the small kitchenette in Snape's Hogwarts flat. Severus was standing at the stove, making eggs. A glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee were on the table.

"I heard you stirring," Snape said. "Sit."

"Where is everyone?" Sarah asked as she slid into the chair.

"Minerva is hosting them for breakfast," he said.

Sarah winced, "Does she know?"

"Not all the unfortunate details, but she understands the gist," Severus said, putting the eggs and toast on two plates.

"Dad, I'm…" Sarah's face flushed.

"I know," Severus said. "We've all made mistakes when we were young. As I said last night, mine were a lot worse than the ones you are making." He put the plates on the table and then sat across from her. "Eat," He commanded.

She took a tentative bite of toast, her stomach settling.

"Okay?" he asked, eying her.

"Good," She nodded.

Severus took his own forkful of eggs and then looked her evenly, "How much do you remember from last night?"

"A lot," she said. "I really am sorry you had to come and get me out of trouble."

"Yes, that was unfortunate," Severus drawled.

"And that I interrupted your night with Andi," Sarah blushed again.

"For someone whose knickers were left at their work partner's flat, you certainly are embarrassed by sex."

"Naturally."

"I don't think it is natural," Severus commented.

"Well, you are my dad," she offered, taking a bite of eggs, "I don't really want to think about what you and Andi may or may not be doing. Though, I do want to know when you are marrying her."

Severus choked and then took a swallow of juice, "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, you said that sex should just be within marriage," she said, innocently, "do you remember?"

Severus gave her a mock glare, "For someone who caused so much trouble last night, I would cease with the snarky comments."

She waved her fork at him, "Okay. I really am sorry."

"Stop apologizing or I _am_ really going to get irritated," Severus said, sternly.

"Yes, Dad," Sarah responded, contritely.

"Now, you need to focus," Severus said, "Have you thought of what you are going to tell Robards?"

She shrugged, "I suppose the truth. The worst he can do is sack me. I am allowed to use dark spells in the capture of dark wizards. So I doubt I would be charged."

"No, I don't think so either," Severus conceded. "Why didn't you think about those protocols last night?"

"It was never Robard's consequences that worried me," she responded, "It was how _I_ felt about what I did. Voldemort said I responded in that way because he taught me how to respond with dark magic. And on some level, he is right."

Severus grunted, "He used dark magic to destroy the innocent. You used it to protect them. Your motives are entirely different, but that distinction was always lost on him."

"Do you really think there is a difference?"

"I do," he nodded, confidently, "You aren't evil, Sarah. Far from it." He paused and then took a drink of his coffee, "Why did you go to Voldemort?"

She bit her lip, "I was angry."

"Angry?"

"That after all this time, he still affected me. That he lost, but it is my life that is in shambles."

Severus thought for a moment, then put down his fork, "Your life is not in shambles," he said, adamantly, "Far from it."

"It's still not what I want."

"I know," he said, softly. "But you are only eighteen years old. You have the whole of your life in front of you. Make it what you want it to be."

She ran her hand through her hair. "It sounds so simple when you say it," she said.

"You know I'll support you no matter what you choose."

"I do like some aspects of being an auror and I can't run from it now," she said. "I partly think I need to see it through for a while."

He nodded, "Okay then." He paused, "You said last night you went because he is the only person that understands you. Was that the drink talking or you?"

She ran her hands over her face, "He was always keenly aware of my thoughts and emotions."

"That's because he read your mind," Snape said, bluntly, "And he told you what he thought would manipulate you into submitting to him."

"And I know that…really I do…but there were times….he was almost kind to me."

"I know," Severus nodded, "And I did see some sort of care on his part towards you… even in the mere fact he gave you notice. But Voldemort never loves, Sarah. It was natural you would have been conflicted with how hard he was pulling you towards him. But in the end, you choose your path. And that choice was the right one for you. It was the only one you could have made and still be true to yourself."

"Even if that choice cost my child's life?"

He winced, "That was not your fault."

"It feels like my fault at times."

"I know," he said, soothingly.

She bit her lip, "Is it possible for me to go to Orion's grave?"

"We need to talk," Severus's look was pained as he pushed back his chair. "Let's go to the other room if you are done."

She nodded, "I am."

He led her to the couch where they settled down on it. Severus reached out to put a hand on her knee, squeezing it. "I don't think that is possible today."

"But it is the anniversary of his death," She said. "I need it to be possible."

"I can go for you, if you'd like," Severus answered.

"But I need to remember him today."

"I know," his voice was hoarse, "I can't imagine how hard this past year has been for you, Sarah. You will remember him today whether you go to his grave or not."

"I know it must seem silly to you at times," she said, quietly.

"Why?" Snape asked, frowning.

"It wasn't like I had made it to full term or Merlin forbid, I lost a child I had raised for years. But, I felt him move. And I would talk to him. Draco would talk to him…and…" she paused, "Sometimes I could swear like he was comforting me. When Fred died, when I was facing Voldemort, I felt him comforting me."

He reached over to squeeze her shoulder, but didn't say anything, not trusting his voice.

"Is it silly for me to be so affected?"

"No, child," Severus said, softly, "It's that beautiful, nurturing heart that will make you a wonderful mother one day. And we mourn the potential of his life…he was innocent in all of this."

She nodded, "So do you see why I need to see him today? I can't ever forget him."

"I do understand," Severus said, twining his hands, "But I am afraid it is impossible at the moment for you to go there."

"But why?" Sarah asked, confused.

"The press might be there," Severus said.

"At Orion's grave?" Sarah's forehead creased, "Why in Merlin's name?"

"Hoping you will come today."

Her frown deepened, "You will have to explain."

Severus sighed, heavily, "The press has the story that you are Voldemort's heir."

"Oh," Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, "Shit. That's really bad."

"Indeed," Severus swatted the side of her leg, "Watch your language. It's gotten positively awful since you went to the academy. That language may be appropriate around your colleagues, but around me, I will still get the soap out if necessary."

"Sorry," Sarah said, sheepishly. And she didn't doubt that he would. "So, what is going to happen?"

"Lupin will take you to work and you will have a meeting with Robards. They'll figure it out."

"How is it being spun?"

Severus shook his head, "Talk to Robards."

"You have to tell me what you know," Sarah insisted, "I'd much rather hear from you than him."

"Naturally," Severus paused, "the press feels that this was an indication of an intimate relationship between you and him. They are going to hound you for a while."

She sighed, "Okay, then," she leaned over to give Sev a kiss on the cheek, "I better go shower."

He nodded. "You will be fine, Sarah. Fight this head on. Don't wallow. And don't be ashamed."

"I'll try. As long as you are behind me."

"I'm always on your side, Sarah Grace," he said. "I'm really am proud of you…in spite of your poor choices last night."

"That really does mean a lot," she leaned down to give him a hug, squeezing him tightly. "I did miss you these past few months."

"I did too, Sarah Grace," he said, patting her back. "Go on now. Lupin will be here in a few minutes."

"Will you still go to the grave? I need you to."

"It will be taken care of."

"Thank you," She said, gratefully, then turned, "Will the press hound you?"

"Don't worry about me, Sarah Grace," he said, waving her off, "I can handle the press."

She nodded and then went off to take her shower.

* * *

"You should have told us that, Black," Robards said, gruffly. "I don't care about the other thing with you using the fiendfyre curse…that was justified…but Voldemort's portrait. That should have been reported by you and Potter."

"I know," Sarah nodded, glancing at Lupin,"but really, that decision rests on me, not Harry. I was trying to protect myself…and Snape…and I ended up just hurting myself."

Robards tapped his fingers on the desk before shifting abruptly in his chair, "I need to ask you one more time. Was there ever an intimate relationship between you and Voldemort?"

"No," She shook her head, adamantly, "I never had sex with him. He never touched me sexually. But I was forced to spend a lot of time with him at Malfoy Manor. In spite my best intentions, I did confide in him from time to time."

"About?"

"He knew first about my pregnancy. He knew how much my father's death and my mother's affected me. He was with me the first time I felt my child move. And he knew I was weakening to him. I was conflicted because he was different with me. I know it was manipulation, but when you are in there…in the trenches…it's hard to see that."

"Okay," Robards nodded. "We'll secure the portrait."

"Good," She swallowed hard, "So…"

Robards dropped a file in front of her. "Your new assignment."

She stilled, frowning, "But…"

"We all have to move on, Black," he retorted, "just don't do withhold that type of information again."

"Okay," she nodded, "What is this?"

"We need you away from all of this until the dust settles," Robards said, "And you are perfect for this assignment."

She opened the folder, glancing at the file. Her frowned, depended, "I don't understand."

"A member of the muggle government…"

"A MP?" Sarah asked, curiously.

"Yes, a member of Parliament is getting threats…we believe it is from one of Voldemort's followers."

"Why?" she asked, studying the picture of the young man. He looked to be in his early 30s. Not classically handsome, but still easy to look at. Dynamic. She could sense his charisma even from the picture.

"It's all in there," Robards waved his hand, "But his wife was a witch. Naturally, that previous association and now his notoriety as an MP and one who is on the upward trajectory would make him a target."

"His wife _was_ a witch?"

"She died last year in a car crash."

"I see," She pursed her lip, "So, we normally don't get involved…"

"But this is a unique case. We can't have our world continue to threaten their world, especially a member of their government," Lupin intervened.

"But where do I fall into all of this?" she asked, still wrapping her mind around it.

"You are going undercover, Black," Robards said, "At the very least, you can provide protection for him. And we hope, you'll be able to see if you can determine where the threats are coming from and capture those responsible. But I warn you…it may take a while…a few months tops."

"A few _months_?" she asked, aghast.

"Or sooner," Lupin interjected again. "The threats are sporadic, but we do agree that it is from a witch or wizard. It will take you a while to get it all sorted. There is not much to go on."

"What will I be doing? I mean, I assume I'll have to have a job of sorts."

"Writing press releases for his office," Robards said, "or whatever he wants you to do."

"Press releases," Sarah frowned, "how ironic."

"Your writing is good," Lupin said, "You should be fine. We created a new history for you too. Read up on it."

She turned the page, "Graduated with honors from St. Andrews. Where is that?"

"Scotland," Lupin supplied.

"And I'm…oh, I see, twenty five."

"It makes you a bit more legitimate, you see," Robards said, "We know you are one of our top recruits, but your age, naturally, would limit what kind of job you would get in their world. You should be in university at your age."

"Okay," she nodded, "will he know?"

"He will have full disclosure of who you are. His wife was a witch. He knows about our world," Lupin said.

"But the secrecy laws…"

"As you well know are not bound to married individuals…"

"Of course," she said, fingering the file, absently, "Will I be able to use magic?"

"To protect him or protect the secrecy of our world, absolutely. I would suggest charms to secure his property properly and alert you to any danger, but besides that, use magic sparingly, Black," Robards answered, "We trust you to make sound judgements."

Sarah felt all things considered that was quite generous of them, but she definitely didn't want to point that out.

"George will be your contact here," Robards continue, "but you will be living there with the MP to make sure he has round the clock security."

"How will that work with the muggle press?" she frowned.

"You have to be discreet. Your stealth training will have to come into play," Lupin said, firmly. "We trust you to figure it out."

"Why me?"

"You lived in the muggle world before," Robards said, "And we need you to lie low for a while until this mess with Voldemort passes over. The press won't follow you and risk jeopardizing our secrecy laws."

"I'm being banished," she said, bleakly.

"No, we need you on this assignment," Robards retorted, "Now, go to your desk and study this file. We are still trying to figure out how to get you out of here and home to pack. It will be a few hours. Make the most of this time. And I need your report about Yaxley before you leave."

"Alright," She stood, "Thank you, sir."

"Thank you, Black," Robards nodded. "And good luck."

She walked back to her desk, trying to still figure out how her life could have taken such another sharp turn in direction. She just sat down, when she noticed the flowers on her desk. _Daisies_.

She opened the card.

 _I won't ever forget about our son. DM_

She buried her head in her hands, sighing, the tears prickling her eyes. Her heart stirred with longing. Draco could be a selfish prat, but with her, it was undeniable, he was different.

"Are you okay?" Harry came up behind her to sit in his cubicle next to her.

She passed him the note.

"They are pretty. Your favorite, right?"

She nodded.

"I partly wish he would just leave you be."

"No, it's right that we should remember Orion on this day. We were his parents. Actually, do you think you could arrange for me to see Malfoy before they banish me to the muggle world?"

"I still can't believe that is your assignment," Harry said, patting down his wayward hair.

"It makes sense to get me away from all of this…though," she look at him, wearily, "it's going to be a challenge for sure. I was a child when I left that world for Hogwarts and while Snape Manor is in a muggle village, we still lived as wizards."

"You'll catch up. Meanwhile, you'll become very knowledgeable about muggle artifacts for Mr. Weasley."

She laughed, "I'm sure."

"British telly is also good."

"I remember liking that," she said. "I haven't thought about it. It's been so long."

"I think you will be fine," Harry tried to look encouraging, "you are probably the best one for the job."

"You would probably be the best one for the job since you actually lived with muggles all of your life," she said.

He nodded and she added, wryly, "but I'm the _fallen_ hero here.''

"The press will get over the scandal," Harry said, "it wasn't your fault that Voldemort made you his heir."

"But," she sighed, "it does look bad, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," he frowned, "it sort of does."

She smiled at him, "Take care of Grimmauld Place for me. I will give Snape access to my vaults. Go to him for my part of the monthly expenses."

"Sure," he nodded, "that's great. You stay here and I'll hunt out Malfoy for you. He is sure to be at work."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

* * *

"I heard you wanted to see me," Draco said, standing to the side of her cubicle two hours later.

"Yes," Sarah quickly flipped shut the file that she was taking notes on. She took her wand and secured her cubicle area. "Do you want some coffee? I need another cup."

"Sure," Draco nodded. He followed her silently as Sarah poured the still hot coffee out of the karraffe into two mugs. She handed him the coffee and then gestured with her head and he silently followed her past Robards office, taking note that he had looked up in that moment to see her with Draco. She wondered if he would have something to say about that later. She led Draco to an interrogation room.

"This should be somewhat private," she said, waving her wand to enact silencing charms. "Sorry, I couldn't come to you," she leaned against the table as she took a sip of her coffee. "Robards has told me to stay put."

"No, that's fine. I understand," he said. "Even within the ministry, your presence would draw too much unwanted attention, especially since the press has the story. Are they working on your exit strategy?"

She nodded, "Thanks for the flowers, Draco. I was really touched by them," her lip trembled.

He gave her a small smile, "You're welcome, Sarah."

"I'm sorry," she wiped at her eyes, "I've just had a rough couple of days."

"I heard," Draco said, dryly, "Snape came to visit this morning. We went to Orion's grave together."

"Did you?" the tears bubbled over.

"Yes, that is why I didn't get Harry's note until now. I came into the office late."

"And was there press around the grave?"

"Yeah, and I told them to shove off."

She took another drink, "Thanks. Did Snape tell you everything?"

"He said you got plastered and sicked up half of the night."

"Yeah, I just made a lot of mistakes last night in general," she wiped at her eyes. "The anniversary of the last battle and losing so many people I cared about…it brought things out of me…things I'm not proud of."

"That's understandable."

"I used the fiendfyre curse to kill Yaxley and then I…" she shifted, "went to Voldemort's portrait."

"Why?" Draco asked, frowning.

She shrugged, "He draws me to him even from beyond the grave."

Draco reached out to touch her arm, "You were never his. I was there too, remember? You were _never_ his."

"I know," She nodded. "Anyways, I just wanted…I guess I just wanted to tell you that I am leaving for a while."

"Leaving?"

"Our world."

His eyebrows raised, "What do you mean?"

"I'm on assignment. I can't really give you details."

"I understand," Draco looked perturbed, "So…"

"Please visit Snape. He has Andi…" she paused, "did he tell you?"

"This morning," Draco nodded.

"But he needs you too. Please check in and make sure he is okay. I want him happy."

"He won't be completely happy with you gone."

"Me either," she said, honestly, "but I would feel better knowing that he had a couple people looking out for him. I know he can look out for himself, but I worry about him."

"Who is going to look out for you?" Draco asked.

"George will be my contact. And I'll take my magical mirror that I used to keep in touch with Harry while he was on the run. I'll be fine." She leaned over to kiss his cheek, "Take care of yourself, Malfoy."

"You too, Black."

When she reached the door, she turned, "Thanks again for the daisies. They are my favorite."

"I remember," Draco said.

She gave him a small smile before leaving him, her heart full.

* * *

Sarah folded a lightweight cardigan. "I don't really know what to pack," she told Snape, who was sitting on her bed. "Do you think my clothes are even appropriate?"

He frowned, "You have always dressed more like a muggle than a wizard in your preferences. I think it was from you growing up in that world, but also Hermione's influence."

"I hope in a good way," Hermione came into the room with a huge garment bag, "Whatever my influence was…"

"Snape was saying my dress is more muggle like because of you."

"Typically," she nodded, "I have this for you," she said, laying it on the bed.

"What is this?"

"Just some other pieces to get you through," Hermione said, "you need work dress," she opened the garment bag, "trousers, skirts, dresses…just a few. Your clothes are generally fine for everyday, but you need some professional dress. I went shopping the minute Harry called."

"What money did you use?"

"Harry gave me money that I exchanged. You can work it out with him later," she said.

"Thank you, Mione," Sarah said, gratefully.

"No worries," Hermione said, brightly, "You will be fine." She reached over to give her a hug, "My parents are only a phone call away. I can give you their number to ring. It's a pity Snape never let you visit."

"Yes," Sarah shot him a look, "It could have helped right about now."

"There was not enough protection," Snape said, "as you know."

"I know," She said, smiling at him, "I don't really blame you. And…" she turned to her, "what is a phone?"

Hermione's forehead creased, worried, "Didn't you have one growing up?"

"No," Sarah shook her head. "I don't really remember much about those years. Bits and pieces here and there. And mum didn't have too many muggle things in our home. She did have a telly I remember, but not much else. She still used magic in our home and everything."

"Well, I still think you should be okay," Hermione said, confidently, "As I said, I can give you their number to ring. They are just a train ride away from where you will be."

"Did Harry fill you in?"

"Yes and then swore me to secrecy. I guess he could get in trouble for telling me."

She waved her hand, "Probably, but we know you are trustworthy. Do you know anything about him?"

"Collin Stevens?" Hermione nodded, "Mum is in love with him. He's a good speaker. Very inspiring. And quite the charmer. His wife died in a car crash. All quite tragic. He had to move out of their home and everything he was so grieved. She was pregnant with their child at the time."

"That's awful," Sarah frowned, "how sad."

"He is really popular, Sarah. I think he has a good reputation. You should be fine."

Sarah bit her lip, "I hope."

"I better run," Hermione said, hugging her. "Tell George if you need anything. He'll give Ron the message for me."

"Good, thanks so much, Hermione."

"You're welcome," Hermione smiled at her and waved at Snape, "Bye, Professor."

"Miss Granger," Snape nodded.

Sarah went over to sit next to him on the bed, "I'll be fine."

"This is just not what I expected," Snape said, "their world is so different than us."

"But we live in a muggle village. Our world intertwines all the time," she said, "I know some things."

"I know, but we don't have much interaction with our neighbors…just passing by," Snape said, "you are unaware of things."

"I'll learn."

"I'm sure you will," Snape said. "I'll send letters by George."

"I'll write too," Sarah said, reaching to wrap her arms around Snape, "I mean it this time. Every week."

"Good," Snape nodded, "I'll hold you to that."

She gave him a kiss. "Don't worry about me."

"I always worry about you, especially now. But I have always believed that you can face whatever you must. You have shown that time and time again. Just find who is responsible and hurry home."

"I will try," she said. "Try not to miss me too much."

"As if that is possible. I thought sending you to Grimmauld Place was hard. Sending you away from our wizarding community is much, much harder."

She bit her lip, "I do feel like they are banishing me until this Voldemort's heir story dissipates."

"Possibly," Snape said, "but their reasons for this assignment seems sound. Just stand your ground with them, Sarah Grace. You are young, they may try to take advantage."

"I shall be fine," she declared with another hug, "Let's call this…" she paused.

"How about an adventure?" Severus suggested.

"An adventure," Sarah nodded, "I like that."

"An adventure," Snape mused, "Yes, indeed, I do think it will just that for you."

Snape's words proved true- the months that followed took Sarah on an adventure that she could barely have anticipated at that moment. But one that would change the course of her life forever…and by extension, the lives of those she loved the most.

A/N: yes, this story is taking a sharp twist as Sarah heads into her new assignment. But Snape, Harry and Draco will still be central characters in the story as we shift between happenings. Also, more Snape and Andi to come…


	13. A Different World

**Chapter 13: A Different World**

Sarah crossed her arms, trying to remain calm. This initial meeting as not going as well as she had planned in her head on her walk from the train station to his office. She was going to be strong and professional and show them how capable she was, even in spite of the fact that she was a witch in a muggle world…and in spite of the fact, she wasn't sure she could actually write press releases. But the meeting had gotten off all wrong. His head of staff, Sam Abbott, seemed to not too keen on the whole idea of her being here or her qualifications and was making his displeasure known.

"And this is who they send!?" the man asked, his voice thundering throughout the office, "She knows nothing of any of this. Who exactly is going to do her work?"

Collin ran his hand through his dark curls, absently. "We are lucky they sent anyone, Sam. We need her here. We can't face this alone."

"Go to the police with the threats then. That's what we should have done than gotten _them_ involved. When have they ever cared about us?"

"May I?" Sarah raised her hand.

"Why are you raising your hand?" Sam snapped at her, his look incredulously, "This is not nursery!"

"It seemed like the right thing to do," Sarah defended, with a glance at Collin who gave her an amused smile.

"Go on, Miss Black," Collin said. "What did you want to say?"

"Please call me Sarah," she said, forcing a smile, smoothing down her skirt, absently.

"If you'll call me Collin."

She nodded.

"Now that is sorted," Sam grunted, "What do you want, Black?"

"You cannot go to the police with these threats. Are you going to tell them that a wizard is threatening you? They are going to put you in the mental hospital," she said, bluntly.

"I quite concur," Collin said, dryly, "that's not an option. Where did you attend school, Sarah? I'm assuming they fabricated this St. Andrew's degree."

"I graduated from Hogwarts and then the auror academy. I am more than qualified to write press releases."

"Really?" Sam crossed his arms, "Can you use a computer?"

"I'm sorry…" Sarah frowned, confused, "What is that exactly?"

"Bloody hell!" Sam thundered again.

"Sam," Collin stood, "I'm sure she will learn. Kate adapted to all of this. It's not like it hasn't been done before."

"Kate was special," Sam let out his breath. " _Really_ special."

"I know that, mate," Collin retorted.

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Sam grunted, "We need to hire someone to do the press releases."

"Sarah can do them," Collin responded, firmly, flipping closed the file she had handed him which contained her fabricated cv. "As she said, she'll learn. She needs a cover. I'll help her."

"That is beneath you, sir," Sam said, adamantly. "You have things of greater importance to concern yourself with."

"And I am sure, this is beneath her as well," Collin said, evenly.

"I wouldn't be too sure," Sam muttered.

"Look, we are all in this together. We better make the best of it," Collin said. "I'm grateful they sent anyone. We both know how dangerous all of this could be."

"But she's so young," Sam gestured wildly at her, "She is just a girl. What can she possibly do to protect you?" he demanded. "I want them to send us someone serious."

Sarah squared her shoulders, "I'm sorry. Is _he_ being serious now?"

"Apparently," Collin shot him a warning look.

"Look," Sarah stood and waved her hand at him, "when your world was getting threatened by the most powerful wizard of all time, I didn't just stand by and let him kill your people. I fought him. I stood up to him…to save your arse!" she said, her voice heated, "You didn't even know about the threats! The fires, the car crashes…the train derailments…just some random occurrences. Well, let me tell you…they were not random!"

Sam opened her mouth, but Sarah held up her hand, "I'm not done. At _seventeen_ , I helped my best friend defeat that threat that you were so oblivious to, but was slowly but surely plotting to destroy _your_ people. So, I am tougher than I look. And I am able to do my job. And whatever job that I have to do to provide my cover," she turned to Collin, "I will protect you to the best of my ability. Sure, I don't know what a computer is…but for Merlin's sake…it can't be that hard!" she said, exasperated.

Collin cleared his throat, his eyes on her.

"Thank you, Sam. That will be all. I'll show Sarah around. I'll trust you to give her first assignment. and not be too hard on her as she is getting used to all of this."

"Yes, sir," Sam frowned and then left the office, the door clicking loudly behind him.

Sarah blushed, "I'm sorry I spoke so bluntly. I shouldn't have." she said, sheepishly. "I lost my temper."

"No, you absolutely should have, especially since you were entirely correct," Collin nodded, his blue eyes looking into hers. "We need people like you who will speak their mind. Sam is a bit of a bully but he is a good bloke. He has had a rough go of it. But anyway, enough of that," He held out his hand, "Let's start over. I'm Collin Stevens, MP. And I'm happy you are here to help."

She smiled and took his hand, "Sarah Black, auror…ahem," she cleared her throat, "writer of press releases… And I'm not so happy that I am here, but I will do my best," she answered, honestly.

He threw his head back and laughed, "Alright then. We need honesty as well."

"Was that too honest?" she asked.

"No, it was perfect," he said as he folded his arms and leaned against his desk, "By the way, we say, _For Christ's sake_. You might want to fix that or you are going to get stares."

"Thanks," she nodded. "I will figure this all out."

"I'm sure you will. As I said, my wife Kate was a witch. She learned and you will too."

"That is only part of my job. My main concern is your safety. Should you show me around the offices and I can see how secure they are?"

"I think, actually," Collin shifted, "maybe we should get you settled at the home and you can look at the security of home and the offices. I have gathered the personal files your office requested, but I don't think the threat is from within here."

"It's still good to be thorough in an investigation," Sarah said, "I like to get the whole picture of things."

"That logic is very sound," Collin said, "Where are your bags?"

"In a locker at the train station," she admitted. "I hope I did it right."

"You have the key?" he asked.

She nodded, "Yes."

He gestured his hand, "How did you get here?"

"I walked," she admitted. "It was a long ways."

"I'd say," his eyes widened, "Did you think of taking a taxi?"

"I didn't think," She admitted.

"We'll take the car," Collin said, reaching for his keys. "Come on."

He swept confidently through the offices, saying hi to his staffers by name before stopping in Sam's office, "I'm taking the afternoon."

He looked up, his scowl evident, "You never take an afternoon off."

"And I have decided to change that starting this afternoon. Someone has to get her adjusted to things and clearly, you aren't willing to do that."

"Fine," Sam grunted, returning to his computer. "You have a meeting at 10 am tomorrow. Don't be late."

"I'm never late," Collin retorted, "Come along then," he gestured to her. She followed after him to the lift.

It beeped and she stepped out with him into the car park. They pulled up to a small silver four door car. He opened the door for her and she slid in. Collin got into the other side. He pulled the strap over to buckle him in. He started the car and she practically jumped.

"Here," he said, reaching across her for the seat belt, "You just pull it and it clicks into this fastener just like this," he clicked it in.

"Thanks," she said.

He switched the radio on, switching through channels.

"Do you have a preference?" he asked, politely.

She shook her head.

"Jazz it is," He paused, "It's safe, Sarah. And I'm a good driver. No worries."

"Alright," she said, quietly. "This is all so new. My mum and I left the wizarding world when I was little, but she never had a car. Said she didn't trust them."

"I remember this first time Kate rode in a car," his expression turned pained, "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "it's still hard at times." He backed out of the parking space.

She nodded, "I understand."

"Do you?" he frowned, pulling out of the car park, "You are too young to understand. I am assuming that this 26 is not accurate either, is it?"

"Do I look younger?"

"A little," he said, "not enough to draw attention. How old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen."

"How can you know anything about grief at eighteen?" he asked.

There was silence as he continued to drive through the traffic.

He paused, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it. People have had rough childhoods. I've seen enough of that in my work."

"Yeah," she said, quietly. "I lived through a war, though. And I lost so many people I loved. But that isn't probably something we should get into when we have only known each other for an hour."

He frowned, "You and I are going to spend a lot of time together in the next few weeks. I'd like to hear about if if you are allowed to tell. Are you allowed to talk about it?"

"Sure," she nodded. "if you'd like."

"Good," he said, "And I'm serious. I think you will do just fine here."

"I am young," She murmured, frowning.

He smiled over at her, "That's what my colleagues said about me, but I earned their respect. You'll do the same, I'm sure."

They fell into an easy silence before reaching the train station.

* * *

"So this is the home," he said, pulling up to a small cottage like house outside of town.

"Is all this property yours?" she asked, looking around.

"It's really not much," he said, "i bought it last year. I wanted to get out of town."

She nodded, stepping out of the car, shutting the door as she shielded her eyes so she could survey the area. "Where are your nearest neighbors on the other side. I saw the one we passed coming down the lane?"

"Just continue down the lane," Collin pointed.

"I don't like how secluded this is," Sarah said, frankly. "I can put protection spells up at the edge of your property that will alert me to whether anyone steps through. Also, we need to put protection all around the house. You were right to bring this to our attention. And you should have had some sort of muggle security on this."

"I'm a MP not prime minister," Collin said, "And it's a safe area."

"No area is safe," Sarah countered.

"Come along then," he popped open the boot and pulled out her bags.

"I can carry them," Sarah said when she saw he wasn't intending to hand them to her.

"Nah," Collin shook his head, "I may be a MP and technically your boss, but I am still a gentleman."

He side-swept her to walk up the three steps and pulled out an old fashioned key to turn the lock.

"The good thing about all of this is that no one will know you are living here with me."

"We can't continue to leave the office together," Sarah said, stepping in behind him. "I'll figure it out."

He nodded, "So this is home. Sitting room through there, dining room and kitchen over that way, a study down this hall. There is a small bedroom off the kitchen that I think was used for the help way back when and two upstairs. You can decide where you want to sleep," he said.

"I can sleep downstairs," she said, quickly, "that way it's not so awkward that I am living here."

He gave her another smile. "The lavatory is unfortunately upstairs. There is a small WC down here though, but showers and baths, you'll have to use the one upstairs."

"Not a problem," she said.

He led her into the kitchen and then pushed open a room just off of it, "Here you go. The cottage came furnished so thankfully there is a bed."

"It's cozy," she said as he placed her things on the bed.

He stepped back out into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, "We can get groceries. I probably don't cook as much as I should. I usually work late. I think there are things for sandwiches that I just got the other day. Should still be good. Do you want something? Or did you eat on the train?"

"That would be great," Sarah said.

"There is a grocery at the end of the lane. Not big, but it has all the basics."

"Good," Sarah took the bread from him, "Here, let me."

He started opening cabinets, showing her everything as she made the sandwiches. "Just make yourself at home."

"I'm sorry I am invading your space, but this will be the easiest way to protect you if the threats materialize," she said as piled the meat and cheese on the sandwich. "What do you like with it?"

"Mustard in there."

"Okay," she ruffled through the sparse contents of the refrigerator as he poured two glasses of water.

"I do understand," Collin said, "And I know that sacrifices you are making now too. I am grateful."

"Good," she said, nodding. "I'll try not to be too underfoot."

She sat at the small table with him and they ate their sandwiches in quiet.

"Anyway, as I said, I'm not home much," Collin said, "I'm pretty much a workaholic."

She frowned, quizzically.

"Sorry," Collin took another bite, swallowing it with a swing of water, "Someone who works all the time. Addicted to their work…"

"I'm used to long hours," Sarah said, "I guess I am a bit of one too. Or maybe work has been really busy of late…"

"When did you start your job?"

She took a swallow of water, "I graduated from the academy around Christmastime and since then, it's just been non-stop."

"All done?" he asked. "I'm sorry I don't have a dishwasher."

"Well, we didn't either growing up," she said, "but I was taught not to use magic for everything- that can lead to laziness, so I'm actually quite good at washing dishes."

"I'll do these later," he put them in the sink, "I actually wanted to get you started on things. I have a computer in my study. Unfortunately, you really do need to become adept at it because you won't be a believable hire if you are not. Have you heard of the internet?"

She shook her head.

"It's actually become a good wealth of knowledge," Collin said. "It's not hard to navigate. Once you figure it out…one day I think it might replace books."

"And that's a good thing?"

He shrugged, "I suppose it has it's advantages and disadvantages. I suppose you haven't heard of email either?"

She shook her head again.

He sat down at his desk, "I guess I'll just try to give you the basics for now. How to turn it on and such…but you really need to use a keyboarding program to learn how to type." He frowned and then opened his desk, sorting through them, "here is one, actually," he pulled out a cd-rom. "I'll install this for you later."

"Okay," she said.

"In the meantime," he took out a pad of paper and a pen, "I'll write things down with you."

He showed her how to turn it on and then wrote down his password for her.

"Wait, can I see that a second?" Sarah asked.

"Sure," he looked amused, "what did Kate call this at first? a quill."

"It's much more modernized," she said, "the ink is right in it?" she twirled it around, examining it.

He nodded, "we haven't had quills for two hundred years, Sarah."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," he laughed. "I know your sort think…what do you call us again?"

"Muggles," she supplied.

"Muggles are hopeless backwards, but we are a lot more advanced then you all."

"I can see that," She said, "I like this. He would have a fit."

"Whom?" Collin asked, curiously.

"Nobody important," she retorted and he didn't press her.

He handed her that pad of paper, "Try writing. You definitely don't want to look like you don't know how to use a pen."

She wrote on the paper, gingerly at first and then experimented with it, adding more confidence to her writing.

"That's good," he said. "Okay, now the program is installed. To get to it, you click this mouse…"

"Mouse?" she frowned, "What an odd word for it."

"It is," Collin nodded, "Just click it twice and there you go. This program will teach you how to type. We will do email and such later."

"Okay," she frowned and then rubbed her hand against her forehead, "I do really need to work on your case and your protection spells too."

"You'll get it done," he said, confidently.

"I'm afraid, I might need privacy to enact the spells," She said, "secrecy laws and such. I mean…"

"No, I understand. Kate only used magic on rare occasions in front of me," Collin stood. "Do you want to do that now?"

"I think the sooner the better."

"Well, the files are all over there," he said, pointing to a massive pile on the coffee table.

"Okay," Sarah took a breath and then gave him a smile.

"Overwhelmed?" he asked.

"A bit, but I'm sure everything will get done."

He nodded. "Maybe I'll go to the grocery and get some supplies."

"I have money," she said, "in my bag. I exchanged a whole bunch this morning."

He waved her off, "I'll buy this round and you can the next."

"Okay, but," She paused, "I don't know if I like you going by yourself."

"Well," he countered, "this time…and then we can figure out how you can go too without it looking like we are completely shacking up together."

"Alright. We'll figure it out," she said, confidently.

"Any allergies?"

She shook her head.

"Any food you hate?"

She shrugged, "I'm not entirely keen on vegetables. I haven't eaten right since I left home."

He laughed, "Me either. I'll get salad and we'll call it healthy, okay?"

She laughed too, "Okay."

* * *

"Sev," Andi poured him a glass of wine and then handed it to him, "You need to relax."

"It's a scary world out there, Andi," Severus said, taking a sip. "And it is not even our world."

"There is only one world," Andi pointed out.

"You know that is not true," Severus countered, "She is so young. And they are going to take advantage of her."

"She's strong, Severus. Muggles are no worse than wizards."

There was a moment of deafening silence as Severus didn't respond right away.

"Severus," Andi pressed, her heart skipping a beat.

He let out his breath, "It's just different."

"I balanced both worlds for years."

"That was your choice. She wasn't given a choice…just thrust into this situation."

"I understand that."

"Dangers lurk everywhere, Andromeda. And she isn't aware of half the dangers that she could face in their world. It is her ignorance that makes me concerned."

"Considering she just annihilated Yaxley, I don't think you should truly be that concerned about her."

He took a gulp of wine, "She is alone in that house with him."

"And she is trained to protect him and herself from whoever or whatever is threatening him."

"Who will protect her from him?"

"What makes you think that she needs protection from him? Sarah can handle herself."

"She is naive."

"Not as much as you are making her out to be," Andi argued.

"She is my child," Severus downed his wine, "and I know her better than anyone."

"Severus," Andi admonished, titling her head, "you are being unreasonable."

"Who is this man anyway?"

Andi sighed and took another drink, "I did some research like you asked. He's fine. Collin Stevens has an excellent reputation. People that work for him love him. People are fighting to be on his staff. He is really up in coming. People think he could be prime minister in a few years."

"They should have sent a man," Severus grumbled.

"They had their reasons for sending, Sarah," Andi said, "have you seen the papers today? And it is only going to get worse. She would have been hounded for months."

"I know that," Severus grimaced. "She could have lived here for a while. Hogwarts is protected from the press."

"You would have her hiding out for months, wouldn't you?"

"Probably," Severus admitted and Andi poured him more wine.

"You can't coddle her, Sev. I know I told you to go find her last night, but it is a balance as you know."

"I don't need your lectures, Andi," he grumbled, "honestly, that is the last thing I need right now!"

"Sev," Andi sighed and the put down her glass, "I'm going home."

"Do whatever you want," Severus snapped.

Andi couldn't hide the hurt and it hit Sev to the core. He rose quickly, "No, wait!"

She stilled and he strode over to her and gripped both of her forearms. "I'm so sorry, Andromeda. I am in a temper. I get that way when I am overly worried. But I should not take it out on you and you should feel free to tell me your opinions."

"I really am not lecturing you, Sev. I am just trying to help," Andi said, honestly. "I was really concerned about Nymphadora in the aurors as well and we all know how that turned out. I understand. Truly, I do. But to be honest, I almost wish she had been a squib because then I would have completely withdrawn from our world."

"Really?" Severus was shocked.

"She would still be alive," Andi said.

"But being a witch was a part of who she was…"

"But not the most important part," Andi countered. "Our powers don't define us. And when they do, then people like Vol…Vol…Voldemort are allowed to take control."

He frowned. "I would never want Sarah to lose her powers. It nearly destroyed her when she thought she had."

"She would have adapted," Andi said, "and could have ended up having a very happy life. Muggles are different but it doesn't mean they are inferior to us. Would you have loved her any less?"

"of course not," Severus said, indignantly.

"There you have it," Andi said, smiling at him, "She'll be fine. You are being over protective."

"I hope you are right," Severus said, bleakly.

Andi leaned up to kiss him, soundly. "You are such a sweet father, Sev," she said, pulling away.

"Andromeda," Sev wrapped his arms around her and then kissed her head. "Fancy a bath?"

She pulled away, her eyes sparkling, "With you? Absolutely. If we can bring the wine."

"That can be arranged, my dear," He swept her up dramatically into his arms and then flicked his wand, the wine bottle and their glasses following.

Her laugher sounded throughout the flat and it was truly music to Severus's ears, soothing his soul…and easing his worry…if only for a bit.

* * *

 _Dearest Dad,_

 _Here is your promised letter for the week. I have been here for three days and already it has been a whirlwind. It's about 1 am and I'm juggling going through personal files that are piled high on the table, sorting through them and taking notes and learning all things muggle so I can do my cover job convincingly. I know you think I should be in bed and I will be soon (promise promise), it's just I have so much to catch up on. Did you know muggles have a whole different writing system? There are pens and paper and computers where you are supposed to do your typing. I don't know how to type but in my job, everyone knows how to, so I am currently trying to learn from a typing program Collin set up on his computer (a computer is a big box with a keyboard and it can do so much! you can write on it and search on this thing called the internet and learn all sorts of interesting things. You can send email which I'm still learning about but it is like instant owl post…can you imagine? Ask Andi…I'm sure she can explain it better than I). My first press release is due tomorrow and it takes me forever to type it out. It was fairly simple, summarizing a speech Collin will give tomorrow afternoon. But Collin's chief of staff is a real git. He really seems to have it out for me. Collin tells me not to worry, but I feel like there is more to that story. After all, he knows about our world? So how? I have to find time to ask Collin, but we are both so busy. He is really nice and is truly to be helpful and supportive as I try to protect him. We each have our own space and so far, I don't think I have been too intrusive for him. The cottage is cozy (reminds me of home), but there are no pictures of Kate (his wife) any where. I wonder why. I'm so curious about things (naturally, I think I inherited it from you), but I'm trying to be respectful. We haven't had much time to even talk, but things are going well so far…besides the fact I am up at 1 am…well, now 1:20._

 _I miss you so very much. And Harry. And Mione. And Ron…and well, you know my friends. How are things at Hogwarts? Are the dunderheads driving you to distraction? Remember to be patient. How is Andi and my sweet godson? You should offer Lupin to babysit sometimes. If you are serious about Andi, it is good to develop a relationship with Teddy. And he is so sweet. Anyway, lots of love to Andi and all._

 _And please, don't worry about me. (Or at least try)._

 _Love,_

 _Sarah Grace_

 _PS. I just wrote all of this with a pen…a muggle quill that has the ink in it. Isn't that cool?_

She folded up the piece of paper and stuck it into an envelope. Placing it in a file that contained her short report to the aurors of her findings so far (which really was nothing), she set it aside for George. Then she reached for the next file on the stack that was still towering on the coffee table.

She had just opened it when she felt herself yawning and in spite of her best efforts, her eyes grew droopy.

She awoke two hours later to Collin nudging her shoulder.

"What time is it?" She asked, groggily.

"4 am," Collin said, "I was thirsty and came down for a glass of water."

She stretched and sat up, "I'm sorry."

"What time did you fall asleep?" he asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

"1:30 maybe?"

"You are going to run yourself into the ground," Collin said, "And I thought I was bad."

"I know," Sarah yawned, "there is just so much to do. And I'm learning how everything works."

"I understand that," Collin nodded, "And I do appreciate how hard you are working."

She stood, "I'll just go to bed now."

"Good idea," he smiled at her. "I'll make extra strong coffee in the morning."

She stretched again, "Can you show me how to make the coffee? I want to learn."

"Sure," he agreed, amicably. "Do you like coffee?"

"Couldn't you tell?" she laughed.

"I had my suspicions," he admitted, laughing himself. "But I didn't know if you were one of those…I need my caffeine fix type of girls and didn't really like the taste."

"I like the taste," she said, smiling. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Sarah," Collin said.

"Goodnight, Collin."

* * *

Sarah stared at the computer and then Collin's notes. She had managed to sign into the email and compose a new message. Now to add the file. She clicked on the clip, found the file and added it to the email. Finally she pressed send.

"Yaaaay!" She cheered loudly. "Alright!"

Collin stood in the doorway, two cups of coffee in his hand. "I know you wanted to help…"

He laughed at her as she was still cheering, doing a little jig.

She stopped, embarrassed, "Sorry," she flushed, dropping quickly back down into the seat.

"No, no," he laughed more and handed her the cup, "I figure we'll need more than one pot today. You can help me with the second one. What did you do?"

"I sent an email!" Sarah said, brightly, "And attached it and everything!"

"Let's see," Collin looked over her shoulder and clicked on the sent message and the attachments. He read over her press release.

"That's good," he said, impressed.

"I know! I can't believe I sent it…just like that! With a few clicks. It's so…efficient!"

He laughed, "I meant the actual press release. It's good, Sarah. You are a good writer."

"Thanks," she giggled, "I need this," she took a big sip.

"You seem rather energized this morning."

"I'll crash probably around 2," she admitted. "Right during your speech."

"Just don't snore," Collin said, dryly.

She laughed some more. "I wouldn't dare."

* * *

It was the first time she saw Collin speak to a gathering of people. And she saw exactly what Hermione meant. He was captivating…inspiring. She didn't wonder why people were so enthusiastic about him and his message. And even though she was tired, she also felt strongly energized as well.

"He's good, isn't he?" Sam stepped beside her as she watched the crowds.

"Yeah," Sarah said.

"Your press release was adequate," he said, begrudgingly.

"Thanks," she responded.

"Don't let it go to your head," Sam grunted.

"Of course not," She turned to him, "by the way, I have been meaning to ask you or Collin. How do you know so much about us?"

"I'm a squib," he said, walking away from her.

And Sarah knew that was only the beginning of the story, but she could never had anticipated the full story. And if she had, she would have headed straight back to the ministry without a second thought and spared her heart from the pain that was to come.

 **A/N** : More to come as both Collin and Sarah & Andi and Sev grow closer.


	14. Muggle Ways

**A/N:** These chapters seemed to have flown out. I'll work on Love at your Darkest soon...Thanks for reading!

 **Chapter 14: Muggle Ways**

A month later, and Sarah was still swamped. It was a challenge balancing her cover job with her real job, but she was also finding the challenge good and invigorating. In fact, for the first time in ages, she was feeling positive about her life and much more like herself, ironic because her magic which was so crucial to her identity, was basically used sparingly.

She was just finishing typing another press release when Collin came by her cubicle. The office was empty at the moment with people still gone for lunch but Sarah had eaten a sandwich at her desk as Collin was still hulled up in his office. Until now.

"Hey."

"Hey," she continued typing.

"I was thinking."

"What about?" she asked, absently, thinking for a moment and then typing some more.

"Gosh, usually people stop typing when I walk up to them," he said, wryly.

She stopped and turned, "I'm sorry, boss," she drawled. "You have my full attention."

He smiled at her, widely. "We have't really gotten to talk."

"We live together," she said, tapping her fingers against her notes, itching to continue to type what was in her head. "I'm sorry…can I just…one second?" she held up her index finger.

He chuckled, amused, "Sure. Get it out."

She typed another two sentences before turning back, "Thanks. Now, what were you saying?"

"We have both been really busy these past few weeks so we haven't the opportunity to talk all that much. I figure it would help us both to get to know each other better. Plus, to be honest with you, you need a break."

"A break?" she asked, innocently, "What is that?"

"Alright," he chuckled again and then gestured her hands, "let's go, snarky one."

"But…this needs to be finished and then I have to do research on…" she looked at Sam's notes, tapping them with her pen, "your education policy. Is it any good or rubbish?"

"I'll fill you in. Grab your bag. Don't forget to lock your computer," he said.

"Collin," she frowned. "I really don't think I can."

"Don't say no to your boss, Miss Black," his eyes sparkled.

"Are you pulling rank on me, sir?" she fought her grin.

"Indeed, I am," he grinned.

She grinned then, "Okay, then, let's go." She locked her computer and then reached into the drawer of her cubicle to pull out her bag.

He led her to the lift and to the car park, them getting in Collin's car. Sarah expertly clicked in her seatbelt.

"Where to?" she asked.

"There is something you have to discover," he said. "We really shouldn't drive there, but I don't want to pull too much attention on us leaving the office together."

She nodded. "So, what is it?"

"Patience. You'll see," he pulled out of the car park.

"I'm not the most patient person," she admitted, wryly.

"Really? I couldn't tell," he glanced over at her.

"Funny. Very funny," she laughed. "Music?"

"Jazz?"

"Sure," she flipped to the station.

They drove for a bit in silence, Sarah looking out the window, exploring her surroundings, before Collin pulled over and paralleled parked on the side of the street.

"What is this place?" she asked as he opened the door for her.

"Costa Coffee," he said as she got out of the car and he shut the door behind her, locking the car.

"It's like a coffee shop?"

"Exactly."

"That's wicked," she said, impressed.

"Have you ever had a latte?" he asked as he opened the door of the shop for her.

"What is that?"

She looked around. There were tables and chairs and it smelled so strong like coffee. People were meeting and chatting and drinking out of large brown disposable cups.

"It's coffee drink that is milk based. They use a machine to heat the milk and mix the coffee in with it. You just have to taste it. There are different flavors," he said. "Caramel. Vanilla. What is your favorite flavor?"

"Vanilla," she said.

"Oh, I have an idea," Collin said, "How about a chai tea latte? My sister loves those. Did I tell you that I have a sister?"

"No, but I knew you had one." She had read about her in Collin's file given to her by the ministry. Liv was two years younger and a solicitor in London.

"I suppose you would have," he said.

"What is a chai exactly?" she asked, curiously.

"You'll see. Are you up for trying it?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, "I'll trust you."

"Good," he turned to the barista, "we'll have a small cappuccino and a medium vanilla chai tea latte."

"Good to see you, Mr. Stevens," the barista said.

"You too, Lindsay," Collin responded, affably. "How are the studies going?"

"Well," she said, "the summer session isn't too bad."

Sarah watched intrigued as the lady made their drinks, putting them in the disposable cups with lids and a piece of cardboard around them.

She put them on the counter and Collin handed Sarah her drink.

"Let's walk," he said, leading her back outside and putting his sunglasses on. "Oh, I have this for you," he pulled out another pair from his pocket and handed it to her. "I bought them the other day. It will help you to be discreet."

She put the glasses on and turned to him, "How do they look?" she asked, titling her head.

"You look great as usual," Collin said, easily. "Really stylish actually."

"Thanks," she smiled and then took a sip, "Oh Mer…my goodness!" she corrected herself, "Collin, this is _amazing_!" she took another sip.

He laughed, "I figured the coffeehouse was going to be your cup of tea."

"Or cup of coffee," she quipped.

"Or tea, since that is what you are having," he shot back.

She laughed, "How is your drink?"

"Good," He handed her his cappuccino, "try it."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded, "We live together after all, don't we?"

"Yeah," she chuckled, "Okay," she took his drink and then took a sip, "really good. I think I actually like mine better," she handed it back to him.

"I'm not surprised," he said as they stepped over the street to the park. He led her to a bench.

"So, how do you think everything is going?"

"It's been a challenge," she admitted, "I am not even half way through the files but there doesn't seem like enough time in the day to do everything."

"They told you the assignment would take a while, didn't they?" Collin asked.

"Yes," she said, slowly, cradling the hot cup between both of her hands. She sat forward and stretched out her legs and he lounged back against the bench. "But it has already been a month and I still haven't gotten everything sorted in my head. But they did say it would take a while."

"Then take your time with it," Collin said. "There hasn't been a threat since you have been here."

"A lot of times, they like to lie low especially when knowing the aurors are on to them," Sarah said, quietly.

"Yeah."

"They'll make their move in time and we'll be ready."

She looked around to the small children playing in the sandbox. There was a mum with her baby, laughing as the baby took fist full of sand and was dropping it back in the box, squealing with delight. She couldn't help but stare, tears prickling at her eyes underneath her sunglasses.

"Sarah," Collin nudged the side of her leg, "You are staring."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she shook her head and took another sip.

"What is it?"

"I just…" she let out her breath, "it's really nothing."

"But it is," Collin pressed.

"Tell me about Sam," Sarah changed the subject.

"What about him?"

"He told me about how he knew so much about magic," she said, her voice low. "How did you meet him?"

"He and I became friends at university. And Kate was his sister."

She pursed her lips, "Did his family disown him?"

"All but Kate," he said, "they were embarrassed by his lack of ability."

"It happens a lot, actually, " she said, with a nod. "Is that how you met Kate…through Sam?"

"Yes," Collin answered, but didn't offer any further information.

She shifted, "If you don't mind me asking…"

He held up his hand, "If you ask a question, then I have to ask you one in return."

"Alright," she said, slowly, "Why don't you have pictures of Kate up? It's clear you loved her very much."

Collin was silent for a few minutes but it wasn't awkward between him. Finally he spoke, "It had become too hard for me. I would find myself obsessed by them. It was almost like I had to break myself from her to move on. It's why I had to move out of the flat into the cottage. I just needed not to wallow in the memories."

"I can understand that actually," Sarah said.

"The pictures and her things are in storage. I'll pull the pictures back out one day," he said.

"Her family doesn't want them?"

"She was disowned as well when she married me."

Sarah frowned, "Who was her family again?"

"The Abbotts. Do know them?"

"I had a classmate named Hannah but…" she paused, "her family married outside of…us…" She tried to phrase things to abide by their secrecy laws since they were in public, even though the nearest people were out of hearing distance. "Sometimes the family breaks generations before. They were probably related. I'm not completely up on my…family histories."

He nodded, "Needless to say, they had a problem with me."

"Were there any other siblings?" Sarah asked, curiously.

"An older brother," he smiled at her, "That was four questions, Sarah."

"I suppose it was," she said, sheepishly, "You still only get one." She pushed up her glasses, "What is your question?"

"What were you thinking when you were looking at that baby?"

The pause again was long.

"I was thinking of…" she paused, "of my son," she said, his voice low.

There was more silence before Collin asked, "What happened to him?"

She looked around, "I can't talk here. It's not secure."

He stood immediately, "Come on," he put his arm around her shoulders, "We'll go to the car."

They walked to the car and Collin started it and then turned on the jazz music. He turned in his seat so he could see her, waiting expectantly.

"How much do you know about Voldemort?"

"Kate told me the history when we first met. And then, we followed what was happening in the wizarding world through Kate's friends from school."

"So, you knew all about the wizarding war?"

"Yes," Collin nodded, "I knew."

"Harry Potter…"

"The boy who lived," Collin supplied, encouragingly.

"Yes, he was…he is my best friend. Naturally, that made me somewhat of a target."

"I see," Collin frowned. "Go on."

She swallowed hard, "My son…he was murdered by Bellatrix Lestrange, one of Voldemort's most sinister death eaters, during the last battle. I was 20 weeks along and she pointed her wand at my stomach, cast a spell and she…she killed him," her voice was hoarse. She took another sip of her chai.

"Oh Sarah," Collin was horrified.

"I knew it right away," She said, hugging her hands around the chai again, the warmth comforting her.

"What did you do?"

"I killed her, Collin," Sarah responded, "Right after. I'm conflicted about it at times, but I did. And I would do it again."

"I don't blame you," Collin said, honestly.

"Yes, I was sick for a while after that…I lost my magic and they thought…well," she flushed, "everything is supposedly fine now."

"Who was the baby's father?"

"One of my classmates…Draco Malfoy," Sarah said, "We were married at the beginning of our seventh year…I felt pressured into it by Voldemort to protect the ones I love. Draco…well, it's complicated…but he was technically a follower of Voldemort though he was also pressured into taking his mark. The ministry annulled the marriage after the war was over."

There was something about her tone that caused Collin to pause.

"Did you want it to be annulled?" he asked, quietly.

"No," she shook her head, "I loved Draco for as long as I can remember…but he didn't protest it, so," she shrugged. "Anyway. That is what that look was for. I see a baby and I just…remember, I suppose. And I feel sad when I do."

"I do that too," Collin said, "Kate was pregnant when she died."

"I know," Sarah's look was sympathetic, "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he drummed at the steering wheel. "I'm sorry about what I said before…when we met that first day. About you not knowing what it was like to feel grief…it was bloody insensitive, especially considering what I know now."

"Don't worry about," she waved her hand at him. She took another sip of the chai, "Thanks for this."

"No problem," he said, "So what did your parents think of you marrying so young?"

"Oh Merlin, Collin, that opens so much more," she said, "And we don't have all day."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Both my parents died when I was at school."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Was it the war?"

"My dad," she nodded, "fifth year—the year after Voldemort returned. My mom died my first year. It's really complicated. I'll tell you about it sometime though."

"I'd like to hear it. Thanks for telling me about your baby. And thanks for getting coffee with me. I like the company."

She smiled at him. "It's nice to take a break."

"Even if I used it to bring up painful memories?" he asked.

"You know," Sarah took another sip, "It's really easy to talk to you. And I usually don't talk about it at all."

"I'm honored then," Collin said, backing out the car, "We should get back before our absence becomes conspicuous."

"We should," she agreed, them riding back the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

The next night, Sarah found Collin as he was watching telly in the living room.

"What are you watching?" she asked as she sat down next to him.

"The news," he said, "I have to keep up with how the press is spinning things. But we could watch a show if you want. You like the _Miss Marple_ mysteries. They are always running them on BBC."

"Yeah," she nodded, "they are fascinating. I always want to figure them out before her."

"That's the auror in you speaking," Collin teased. He reached for the listing in the newspaper. "They are on now," he flipped the channel, "but half way through."

"That's okay," she began to stand but he reached out, stopping her.

"No, please stay," he said. "We can turn this off."

"If you want," she said. "You know I'm not used to it."

He clicked it off, "Will you tell me the rest of the story now?"

"You have been curious, haven't you?" she asked. "Wait a minute," she stood, "I want to show you something."

She walked back to her room to get the Daily Prophet newspaper she had brought with her. It was the interview she gave when Snape was in prison…and it really did tell her full story of her interaction with Voldemort.

She sat down on the couch with him.

"Do you want some wine?" he asked, casually. He could sense that she was nervous.

She nodded, "Yes, actually."

"Here you go," he poured her a glass and then himself, "So…how did your parents die?"

"My mother…Grace… died when I was eleven. I didn't find out about her being sick until after the fact."

Collin raised his eyebrow, "That's terrible."

She nodded, "It was awful."

"What did she die of?"

"Well," Sarah took another sip, "I found out much later…from Voldemort of all people…that she was cursed years before…by Bellatrix's husband."

"The same woman who killed your baby?"

She nodded. "And after my mum died, I found out that my hated potions professor was actually my uncle and now my guardian."

"Where was your dad?"

"In Azkaban…um…wizarding prison for a crime we found out later he didn't commit," she said.

"That's twisted," Collin said, frowning, "So you were raised by your uncle?"

"Severus Snape."

"Wait," Collin held up his hand, his eyes widening, " _the_ Severus Snape?"

She groaned, "Do not tell me his reputation has made it to the muggle world."

"No, not quite," he laughed, "Kate mentioned her snarky professor and what an awful git he was."

"He's really sweet, deep down," Sarah said, taking a sip, "Honestly, he is the best father a girl could ask for. I was so lucky to have him in my life. I think you would like him."

"I'm sure Kate exaggerated."

She giggled, "No, I'm sure she didn't. But, he and I are really close."

"You write to him still, don't you?"

"Every week," she nodded. "He was really strict, but I don't think I would have been able to s…survive…ev…everything…without him." She continued, "So my biological father was accused of murder…of telling Voldemort where Harry's parents were in hiding, which as you probably know…"

"led to their deaths," Collin continued for her, "that was your father?"

"Yes, but it was their friend Peter Pettigrew who actually betrayed them."

"So your father was in jail for years…"

"for a crime he never committed." she confirmed, tears growing in her eyes, "he was so haunted always from that time, but he actually escaped and Harry and I figured out the truth our third year. We were able to have a relationship with him…Dad was Harry's godfather as well…and he was on the move when my fifth year, when," she took a breath and then wiped her eyes, "I'm sorry, I don't usually get so emotional about it. I used to, but I kind of had to harden myself to it. I don't know why I'm crying. It was years ago."

"That's okay," Collin reached over for a few tissues, "If this is too hard for you to talk about, we don't have to…"

"No," Sarah blew her nose, "I want to actually." She took a breath, composing herself, "Voldemort lured Harry to the ministry and Sirius died saving Harry and myself—at Bellatrix's hands."

"The same woman who killed your child and whose husband cursed your mother."

"The very one," she said and then handed him the paper, "This is too embarrassing to explain to you in person. But the whole wizarding world knows…and I don't want you to hear it from anyone else…if Sam would have ever found out…I'd just rather you know from me…so here you go."

Collin took the paper, reading it in silence before looking up at her in amazement, "Is this true?"

"Every word," She nodded.

"He really wanted you in that way."

She nodded again. "There was always a lot of speculation afterwards and recently the press found out that Voldemort made me his heir…which looks…well, bad…I think that is part of the reason why the ministry sent me here."

"I don't know what to say," Collin said, quietly. He looked disturbed, "I hear reports similar to these in our world but it always seems so far removed from us in the UK. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," she said, "I know it's…all…terrible stuff."

"I just feel bad," Collin said, "you should have been at university with all of us…partying and being jolly, not being threatened by this bastard"

" _You_ partied at university?" Sarah asked, skeptically.

"Well, no, but theoretically, that is what you should have been doing. Well, I suppose that is what you should be doing now, not trying to save my arse from these evil wizards."

"It's my job to save your arse from those wizards."

"But my point is…maybe it shouldn't be."

She shrugged, "Harry had it harder."

"Are you sure about that?"

She shrugged again, "I had Snape."

"The snarky potions professor?"

She laughed, through her tears, "He was really awful for a while, but once you get to know him, he really is the best. I promise."

"I feel like I should reciprocate with some sort of baring of my soul," Collin said.

She took another sip and then reached for a blanket.

"Are you cold?" Collin asked.

"A little."

"Here," Collin took the blanket from her, unfolding it, shaking it out and then wrapping it around her shoulders, "Is that better?"

"Yes, thank you." She looked at him, "You could tell me more about Kate."

"Kate," Collin smiled at his memory of her, "She was spunky. You actually reminded me so much of her that first day. I think that is why I was determined not to have Sam destroy your spirit. She just was… special. She was studying to be a doctor and she would have been the best one." He paused, his voice growing hoarse, "she was missing for four days before we found her crashed vehicle. We didn't even know that she was going that way. I always wondered why she was on the road she was."

Sarah frowned, "That's odd."

He nodded, "But I have had to make peace with her death because otherwise the bitterness…"

"It can destroy you," Sarah reached out to squeeze his hand, sympathetically.

They drank the rest of their wine in silence before Collin flipped back on the telly to listen to the news again.

* * *

 _Dear Dad,_

 _Yes, I am eating three meals a day. And yes, I am trying to get more sleep. Things are still incredibly busy. Collin tells me to take my time with everything and that I will figure it all out, but i"m not sure. He took me to a coffeehouse the other day. I tried this delicious drink called a chai tea latte (since I made this discovery, I have had one once a day much to Collin's amusement). We have been watching telly at night together…murder mysteries. I usually end up figuring out by the end and Collin has to tell me to hush so I don't give it away. He's really become a friend. He told me about his wife, Kate, and I told him about my whole sordid history (which by the way, sounds unbelievable that all that would happen to one person…)._

 _Anyway, I have to run. I have a press release due tomorrow. And I am working my way to the end of Coliln's files. Love to Andi…and Teddy (have you watched him yet?)…and Lupin…and Harry…and et. al._

 _Missing you,_

 _Sarah Grace_

Severus folded up the piece of paper and made a face at Teddy. "Your godmother would be so pleased, little Edward." he said, sprawled out on the floor with Teddy, helping him pile the blocks to build a tower. "There you go…and oh," Teddy knocked down the blocks and squealed excitedly.

"Ut oh! ut oh!" he giggled.

"Let's build them again," he reached over to tickle his side, "Ready?" They had repeated this pattern four times, but Severus was determined to see it through as many times as Teddy wanted.

"Sorry, I'm back," Andi called out, her arm full of papers. She piled them high on the coffee table.

"How did your case go?"

"It was fine," she said.

"Ut oh! ut oh!" Teddy giggled and knocked the blocks over again.

She looked over and smiled, "How many times have you done that?"

"This is our sixth," Severus said, dryly, building them up again. "They certainly like monotony at this age, don't they?"

Andi giggled, "Severus Snape. I would suspect you would tell him to stop being such a dunderhead," she reached down to give Teddy a kiss.

"Oh I was tempted," Severus retorted, "But I didn't want to hurt Edward's feelings."

"Call him Teddy," Andi laughed more.

"I like Edward better," Severus shrugged. "That is what they named him, right?"

"I've explained this to you before. It's much like you call me Andi and I call you Sev."

"But how do you get Teddy from Edward?" Severus teased.

"You are teasing me," Andi sat next to him on the floor, "Severus Snape!"

Snape reached over to cover Teddy's eyes before kissing Andi firmly on the lips.

She pulled away and Snape dropped his hand. "Thanks for watching Teddy."

"I had to change a nappy and everything. Thank Merlin you had showed me how earlier. They really are confusing with all the tabs."

"Poor Sev," Andi laughed more, her eyes sparkling, "You will be thoroughly rewarded when Teddy goes to bed tonight. I promise."

"I'm holding you to it," Sev said.

"Cover the boy's eyes again," she instructed.

Severus complied and he and Andi kissed again before continuing to play with Teddy before feeding him and putting him to bed. And then Andi took Severus to bed…and rewarded him thoroughly for his superior child minding skills.

Later that night, Severus held Andi in his arms, them catching up on their days. Andi told him about her case and Severus told her about his child minding experience.

"Thanks again for getting me out of the bind," Andi said.

"Any time," Severus retorted, "I figure it is good practice for when Sarah decides to procreate."

"Have you heard from her lately?"

"I received a letter today actually," Severus said and then grew silent.

"Sev," Andi sat up, "What is it?"

"She seems happy," he said, quietly. "She's been there a month and I have noticed a difference in her letters. She seems to be enjoying the challenge. She seems more alive then she has been in months…years even."

"And that is a bad thing?" Andi asked.

"No," Severus let out his breath, "but all of this is temporary once she figures out the threat."

"It's going to take a while."

"I just don't want her to get too settled into that life," Snape said. "It's not _her_ life."

She smiled at him, but her eyes were troubled, "Just let her find herself for a while, Sev. It's a good thing for her."

He sighed, "I suppose you are right."

But he couldn't help but worry. He had an aching suspicion that he might be losing her again…much like he lost Grace to that world so long ago.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Sarah asked.

"I suppose I should ask before just deciding," Collin looked over at her, "How would you feel about dinner and a movie?"

She titled her head, "A movie?"

"Like telly but on a big screen. I have a private screening set up and figured you might like it too."

"Sounds fun," she said, nodding. "Am I dressed okay?"

"You look great," he said.

She flipped down the mirror and fiddled with her hair, "I look like I haven't slept in days."

"You really haven't, have you?" Collin said, frowning.

"I felt like I needed to get through the files and send my notes to the ministry," Sarah admitted, flipping up the mirror. "It has been a month and I should have been through them."

"Did you find anything?" he asked, casually.

"No, besides Sam, there is no one with wizarding blood in their background…at least what I can tell. I requested that George look into it as well and he is going to bring me some genealogy books."

"Is that really necessary?" Collin asked.

"I don't have any other leads," Sarah said. "Until whoever this is sends a new threat."

"Hum," he pulled into the restaurant, "Let's not talk about work."

She bit her lip and then smiled at him, "And what will we have to talk about?"

He got out of the car and then swung around to open the door for her and she got out. "I'm sure we will figure something out."

They had a great dinner, Collin telling her stories from his university days and Sarah interjecting with some of her own stories of pranks she played with the Weasley twins that had Collin rolling with laughter.

Sarah had just settled into her comfortable seat in the theater when Collin left. He came back a few minutes later.

"Popcorn…and…coke light without caffeine."

She reached for the popcorn and tasted it, "Wow, this is delicious."

"Good," Collin nodded. "Oh, it's starting."

"Are you hushing me?" Sarah threw a piece of popcorn towards him.

He grabbed her forearm, "Behave," he laughed. "I have a reputation as a MP to maintain."

She blushed, "I'm sorry. You're right."

He laughed again, "No, no, I was just teasing you, Sarah. We can have a popcorn fight right now if you want."

"No, I don't really want."

"We can have one when we get home."

She pursed her lips, trying to hide her smile, "Okay." Her eyes grew wide as the movie started. "This is…amazing."

"You know what?" Collin leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"Huh?" Sarah was memorized.

"I love seeing things through your eyes."

She turned towards him, "Because it reminds you of Kate?"

"No, because it's you," Collin murmured.

"Hush," she admonished, "I'm trying to watch the…m…m…m…"

"Movie," he whispered.

"The movie," she said.

But she couldn't help but smile in the dark.

* * *

"Catch," Collin said on one Sunday afternoon two weeks later.

She caught the car keys that he threw at her. "What is this?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"The ministry fabricated your license right?" he asked.

She shook her head, "No, Collin."

"It's a part of your cover," Collin said, "And we can't keep going into the office together. Someone is going to figure it out. I have a spare car that you can drive."

She bit her lip, "I really can't."

"I'll teach you," Collin said. "I think you can do it."

She paused, "It does look kind of fun. And it would be helpful."

"Let's go," Collin nodded, confidently, taking her arm and pulling her in the direction of his car.

"Do you really trust me with your car?"

He gave her a wry smile, "Maybe I shouldn't. But I do."

"I'm usually a quick study."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

A few days later, and Sarah squealed with delight as she successful drove around the lane and back again…and parked in the cones he had set up.

"I did it," she smiled at him.

He raised his hands and she grabbed them.

Their touch was almost electric.

She dropped her hands, disconcerted.

"You know what?" She said, brightly, leaning back, "I think you are a good teacher."

"Thanks," Collin said. "I think you were right…you are a quick learner."

"Thanks for teaching me."

"You're welcome," Collin said. "I was happy to do so."

She looked down at the clock in the car, "I have to meet George at the house to give him my ministry report. And he has some files that I need to go through. I'm ready to look through the positions of the death eaters still at large to see if there are any associated to the area…or any people you work with…I think maybe we should check more into Sam's family as well, but I don't want to cause problems. I can see if George can do so discreetly."

He nodded, "We better go then."

* * *

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I drove a car today! A car! Like a real muggle. George is about to be here so I don't have time to write a full letter. I'm still trying to figure this all out. I'm plugging away. I promise. I miss you…so much. I miss talking with you. I feel like I need to talk to you…about things. But don't worry about me. I feel challenged by this assignment and that's invigorating. Will write again soon. I promise._

 _Love to Andi and Teddy (good job child minding, Snape! But for God's sake, call him Teddy!) and Lupin and Harry and et all,_

 _Your daughter,_

 _SGB_

Snape frowned, contemplatively. There was so much to think about.

* * *

 _Two weeks later:_

"I'm supposed to go on holiday next week," Collin said, "Mum wants a visit."

Sarah looked up from where she was sorting through genealogy texts. "So…" she let the question hang in the air without her asking it.

"I would like you to come with me, of course," he said. "Sam is coming. My sister will be there. Mum and Dad."

"Where are we talking about?"

"Funny you should mention that," Collin gave her an impish grin, "St. Andrews."

Her eyes widened, "But…"

"They all know the truth."

"What?!" Sarah's mouth dropped, "You really shouldn't have done that."

He shrugged, "They knew about Kate too. Mum's great- grandmum was a full-blooded…"

"Pure blooded," she corrected, automatically.

"Pure blooded witch," he said, "She married a…"

"Muggle," Sarah supplied again.

"Muggle and magic never appeared in any of us since. We have fully assimilated, but it is why it wasn't such an entire shock when Kate told me about her magic."

She frowned, "You still shouldn't have told."

"It's okay," Collin reached over to squeeze her knee, "They can be trusted. They know you are protecting me. And believe me, they are grateful."

"Okay," Sarah finally said, "we can't undo it."

"Secrets destroy families, Sarah," Collin said, "especially those fundamental ones."

"My family was always full of secrets," she said, quietly.

He squeezed her knee again, his touch, comforting her but also causing the faintest of stirrings of longing in her heart, "You need to know about St. Andrews in case any one asks. Dad is a lecturer there. And it is beautiful. I want to show you it."

"Hogwarts is in the highlands."

"This isn't the highlands, but it is on the North Sea and very beautiful. It's a great time of year to sink your toes in sand at East Sands. Will you come?"

"Of course," she said.

* * *

"It was kind of you to help me wash these," Beth Stevens told Sarah.

"Dinner was delicious. I'm happy to help," Sarah said. "Collin said he told you of why I am."

"He did," Beth handed Sarah another plate to dry, "And don't worry. We wouldn't dare tell anyone. Collin's safety is important to all of us. Are you anywhere close to finding who is responsible for the threats?"

"No, unfortunately," Sarah sighed, "but these things take time. When they put me on this assignment, they thought I could be potentially here for months. I am able to protect him though. I know I look young and like I wouldn't be able to…but I can. And I will…" Sarah said.

She meant it. The thought of anything happening to Collin was becoming unbearable. At first, he was just a case, but now he was a friend. A close friend.

"I don't doubt that you can," Beth said, with a smile.

"Sarah!" Collin came up to her, "Livvie thinks she can beat us all at Monopoly."

She looked at him, confused and Beth leaned over to whisper to her, "It's a board game, dear."

"I see," Sarah said, "Is it hard?"

"Not at all," Collin said, "and with the way you think, I have no doubt you will conquer us all. Sam will have a fit you one upping him. It will be fun."

"High praise, coming from him," Beth said, laughing, "Go on with you. Collin will teach you."

She dried her hands on the towel and went with Collin to the other room.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Collin asked, sitting next to Sarah on the swing.

"Just thinking…watching the stars," She said.

"I figure we can go in town tomorrow…we can have lunch in the town and visit East Sands. I might want to draw."

"Do you draw?"

"I try my hand with pastels," Collin admitted, "And East Sands is the ideal place. The sun is supposed to be out so it is a good day for it."

"Collin," Sarah turned to him, "Is that what it is like to be normal? To have a normal family? And a normal life?"

He gave her a small smile, "I have had a happy childhood. But people grow up in all different types of families. And my life isn't exactly normal though because of my job."

She nodded, "Mine either," she said, with a sigh. "I don't regret being raised by Snape. He did the best he could with the hand he was dealt. And he kept me alive. But when I am here…this is about as normal as I felt in ages," She kicked her feet, "One of my friends, Ron, his family was much like yours—except wizards. Big family. Lots of redheads. They did things like this- eat dinner, play games, laugh and just enjoy being with each other. I was engaged to one of their sons."

He reached over to stop her rocking, "What do you mean?"

"I broke it off when Voldemort threatened me and him. He was on our side and that wasn't acceptable for Voldemort. So, I married Draco."

"Where is he now?"

"Dead," Sarah said, softly, "Bellatrix."

He reached over and took her head, holding it as they watched the stars together.

* * *

"I like your dress," Collin said as they walked side by side in East Sands. Sarah had taken off her sandals so she could feel the wet sand squish between her toes. "Is it new?"

Her maxi dress was light blue striped, v neck, strapless. She wore a white shrug and sandals. She had on her sunglasses and her hair was in a ponytail.

"Yes, actually," she said, "I bought it when you said we were coming up here."

"It looks good on you," he said, easily.

"This is the most beautiful place," Sarah said, looking out into the North Sea, the wind whipping the bottom of her dress. She breathed in the scent. "I'm so glad I attended university here."

He laughed loudly, "Yes. I imagine it was very fun to attend university here."

"Where are you going to sketch?" she asked.

"Here," Collin backed up. "Did you bring a blanket?"

"No," she said, plopping down, without a second thought and then patted the sand next to her.

"I only asked for your benefit," he said, sitting down and pulling out his drawing pad. They sat in silence for minutes, Sarah closing her eyes and loving feeling the wind blowing through her hair.

After a few minutes, she opened her eyes to look, "That's good so far."

"I enjoy it…it helps me unwind, especially after sessions of Parliament."

She laughed, "Is it always that rowdy in there?"

"Yes," he said, honestly, "people don't hold back. What do you do in your spare time?"

"Brew potions," she said.

"Potions?" Collin asked, "Kate never did tell me exactly what it was."

"Hum…" she thought for a moment, "It's similar to muggle chemistry I think or so Hermione tells me. A lot of it is medicinal."

"And you do that for fun…" his tone was teasing.

"It relaxes me," she defended. "Dad is a potions professor, you know."

"The snarky one," he supplied.

"Yes. It's a bond we have…our love for potions, but I was absolutely rubbish at it when I was young. Then, it clicked, and I got pretty good at it. In fact, I wanted to be a potions professor."

"So," Collin continued drawing, "Why are you here?"

She hugged her knees closer to her, "When I woke up and found out I lost the baby and Draco divorced me, I just didn't care anymore. I actually did really well on my exams. I could go to any program on those scores."

"Have you ever thought about giving this up and going back to school?"

"I have thought about it."

"But?"

"It doesn't feel right. Not yet," she said.

"Well," Collin looked over at her, "I can't say that I am sorry you chose to stay in the aurors."

She smiled at him. "At the moment, me either."

* * *

They walked on the pier the next day, him holding an umbrella over her head as it was raining. She had taken his arm so they could both fit under together. And maybe a bit because she wanted to be close to him. She had a chai tea latte in her hand and in spite of the rain, it was pleasant.

"Did you play sports in school?" she asked.

"Cricket," he said. "You?"

She laughed, "I was horrible at riding a broom so quidditch was never an option for me. Hermione was the same way, thank Merlin for that, otherwise all of our other friends played and loved it. Harry was especially good…and Draco…and Fred, actually. I was part of our cheering team though Draco and I were in different houses."

"Kate told me about the houses."

"What house was she in?"

"Ravenclaw. What were you in?"

She smiled. "Gyffindor."

"You are proud of it, aren't you?"

"Extremely," she said. "our greatest rival was Slytherin which happens to be the house Dad is head of. Dinners with Snape was always fun after Harry and our team annihilated his. But that being said," she turned her head towards him, "I could have been a Slytherin and done really well. I don't think the houses really matter all that much. I think everybody has attributes of the different houses within them."

"So why do they have them?"

"Tradition," she said, solemnly, "and it is kind of fun to have your group of friends and house pride."

She looked out into the water, "Do we have to go back?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Collin told her, "There is work to be done."

"I like your family," she said, quietly.

"They like you."

"I'm glad."

"Me too," He adjusted the umbrella and then wrapped his arm around her waist. He turned his head towards her again and his look made her heart stir and her stomach quiver.

"We should go back," she said, with a smile, "I have to pack."

But they took the long way back, chatting all the way home.

 **A/N** : Up next, Sarah's past comes back to haunt her in a big, devastating way.


	15. Muggle Magic

**A/N:** Yes, two updates in one day! These chapters kind of went together so I wrote them at once. A lot is revealed in this next chapter as the story takes another turn. Would love to know what you think!

 **Chapter 15: Muggle Magic**

When she looked at the event on Collin's schedule, she had no idea the impact it would have on both of their lives.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" he looked over at her, concerned, "It's just a ribbon cutting ceremony at an orphanage. I'm sure this is not the place they would choose to attack."

"You had a threat last week. I take everything seriously."

"Which is why you are here," he stopped the car and then reached over to touch her arm lightly, "I am just making a speech and cutting the ribbon."

"What happened?"

"A fire- almost two years ago. It has taken that bloody long to rebuild it properly."

Her stomach twisted. She recognized the area. She felt like she could faint. She knew all about that orphanage fire.

He got out of the car and then went around to open to door for her, "I need to meet with the director."

"I want to survey the area," Sarah said, her voice dry. She coughed.

"Hey," Collin helped her out and then shut the door, pushing her against it slightly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shifted, "We are in public. You should keep your distance."

"That's easier said that done. We have become friends, right? In these past few months."

"Yeah," Sarah looked at him through her sunglasses, "We are friends." And it was true. They had formed a tight bond…and he was starting to look at her in a way that made her heart feel alive again. But this…this could change everything. She managed to sideswipe him, "You better not be late. There is a crowd starting to gather."

"Okay," he nodded, "Let's go."

While Collin met with the director, Sarah looked around, surveying the place. It was the one. She was sure of it. A fire two years ago…she felt ill. It had taken two years for the muggles to rebuild this place for those children…and she was the cause of it. She had tried to lead the resistance against the Carrows. She had come up with the plan to try to get out of learning and using dark magic against her classmates and…this was the result of Voldemort's punishment.

It was like all her sins had come back to haunt her at that moment. And she felt wretched. She could barely listen to Collin's dynamic speech to the cheers of the villagers and children. She saw his wide smile as he took a child in his arms and the little six year old girl helped him cut the ribbon. She knew that he was truly the best man in the world. Kind, compassionate, passionate, interesting, intelligent…and she knew that he was on the track to greatness. She would protect him at all costs. He deserved that.

The children ran up around her, up the steps into the building. Collin went to her side.

"The press is here," she murmured, "you should be over there."

"Hush," he admonished, taking her arm.

A little boy tugged at her skirt. She scooped down to look at him.

"Hello, what's your name?"

"Harry," he said.

"That's a very fine name," Sarah smiled at him. "My best friend's name is Harry. Are you excited about your new home?"

"Yeah!" he said, excitedly. He threw her arms around her and she picked him up.

"That's strange," the matron said to Collin. "Harry isn't overly affectionate, especially with strangers. He is our miracle child."

"What do you mean?" Collin asked, curiously.

"The fire…he was left behind," the matron said, "I was sure we were going to lose him and then when all hope was lost, suddenly, he appeared in my arms. Like an angel brought him to me."

Sarah swayed, but patted Harry's back. Matron took him from Sarah's arms, "Say goodbye to your new friend."

"Bye, bye," Harry said, enthusiastically. Sarah waved to him.

Collin's arm came around her waist, "Let's go. Can you walk?"

"I'm supposed to be protecting you," she murmured.

"I don't need protection at the moment," Collin told her. He walked with her back to the car, pushed her in and then buckled her in. He started the car.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"I…" she stared straight ahead, "Not here."

"We'll go home," he said.

"You are supposed to go back to the office," Sarah said, bleakly.

"We'll go later in the day. I'll say I am going home for lunch."

"Okay."

Sarah put on the tomato soup for lunch while Collin went upstairs to change. She was stirring it with a spoon before she absently dropped it, using her hand to stir it with her magic.

"Sarah," Collin said, coming up behind her, "what are you doing?"

She startled when she realized and the spoon dropped, "Shoot!" She reached for another to fish it out of the soup, "Sorry."

"Can you use your magic without your wand?" he asked, curiously.

"Yes. I'm proficient in wandless, nonverbal spells," she told him, matter of factually. "I shouldn't have. I guess I was distracted."

"By what?" he asked, taking the spoon from her and starting to stir.

"Collin?" her voice cracked.

"Yes, Sarah?"

She licked her dry lips, "Would you believe it if I tell you that Harry and I have met before?"

"The little boy at the orphanage?" Collin asked, astounded. "How?"

"It wasn't an angel that rescued him," she said, her voice cracking, "it was me."

Collin put down the spoon and then turned off the burner. He turned her around and then took both her hands in his. "Let's sit."`

He led her to the sitting room and sat her on the couch, "Tell me."

"I caused the fire, Collin. Those children were without a home for _two_ years because of me!" she cried, beginning to sob. "Why did it take so long to rebuild?"

"We didn't have the funding for the longest time…and then it just takes time to building things properly," Collin said, frowning. "What happened?"

"At Hogwarts when I returned for my last year and Harry was on the run, the school was taken over and taught by Voldemort's death eaters. We were supposed to become proficient in dark magic…use unforgivable curses on our classmates-torture... that kind of thing. I couldn't…so I came up with this plan like we would pretend the other person was cursing us…but one of the girls who didn't like me…she found out and I was supposed to curse her for real…but I couldn't then…so…they found out I was lying this entire time. I was sent to the headmaster- my father- for punishment. And then," she swallowed hard, "Voldemort wanted to teach me a lesson about how to obey him so he took it out on those poor children. I saw that the baby didn't get out so I apparated—magically traveled—" she clarified at his quizzical look, "apparated upstairs and wrapped him in a blanket and used my magic to break through the window. I fell with him. He was fine. I protected him. But I'm just so sorry that it took so long to rebuild it! Those poor children!"

Collin reached out to touch her arm, his fingers rubbing against it soothingly, "The children are alive… _all of them_ …thanks to _you_. What makes you think he wouldn't have targeted them to begin with?"

She shrugged, "He said…"

"Do you always believe everything he said?" Collin asked, his voice turning firm, passionate, "because perhaps you shouldn't!"

"It was strategic choice…" she sniffed hard, "And I wouldn't put it past him to do it just to torture me. I was punished afterwards for going back into the building but, of course, I don't regret that for a moment. I'm glad that little boy is alright."

"What did Voldemort do to you?" his voice was hoarse with emotion.

"Tortured me so the glass bit into my burnt arms and legs. It was excruciating," she said, crying more, "and after that, I always did what he said. I gave my soul to him…I married Draco…I tortured at his command…I couldn't risk…risk what happened again. And he knew it. He had me trapped and especially more so after I got pregnant. I'm sorry—I know this is all terribly awful…you shouldn't have to share this burden with me…it's mine to endure for the rest of my life."

Collin sat still for a few moments, his fingers still rubbing her arm, soothingly, but he was deep in thought.

And when he spoke his voice was low, but firm and passionate, "you have borne it enough on your own," he said, before reaching and pulling her into his arms, wrapping his strong arms securely around her.

"It was not your fault," he murmured. "you put everything on your shoulders and it's not all on you," he said. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, "this wasn't your fault."

"It has all come back to me. I try to move past it…him…and the baby…but I can't."

"That's not true," he hushed her, "you can. you have."

"Do you hate me now that you know?"

"Hate you?" He pulled away, "I could never hate you. In fact," he took his fingers and rubbed them lightly against her cheek, "I feel quite the opposite these days. Surely, you know that."

Her heart filled with such emotion at that announcement. She knew that they had grown so close through their shared grief, through spending so much time together. She was at ease around him. She loved talking about everything -from music to politics, literature to telly shows- with him. She was like a sponge, soaking up this new information and Collin was more than happy to indulge her…for he found it stimulating as well. She like being around him…and she especially liked that he felt the same way. It caused her to hope that maybe Snape was right…maybe her life could be the way she wanted it to be. But at the same time, Collin was Collin…on the path to being one of the greatest men in Britain one day. And she was her…a witch…eighteen years old…with a wicked past.

She hung her head, "I'm not right for you."

He tipped her head up, "I have felt more alive in these past two months than I have in ages- since Kate's death. I feel like you have restored me. I was so invested in my work, but now I am passionate about it again. And that is thanks to you. Our conversations…seeing things through your eyes and your perspective…it has inspired me. Tell me you don't feel the same way…because I have seen that change in you too…and I'd like to think that I have at least…the smallest amount of influence on it…"

"You do…for sure…and…" Her lip trembled, "I like you…I do…but…I'm too young for you."

"The world thinks you are 26."

"But you know I'm not," she said. "Compared to you, I am still a child."

"After all you have been through, I feel like you are at least 40 in life experience," Collin said. "it doesn't matter to me. Princess Diana married at 19 and no one batted an eye."

"I'm not a princess," she said.

"Just be open to it, that's all I ask," Collin said. "You deserve to be happy too. You think you have to live your life in penance over all that _he_ has done…but _he_ did it. Not you."

"I couldn't stop him."

"You did…eventually," Collin said, "and on behalf of the muggle world, I am so grateful to you and the sacrifices you continue to make to keep us safe and free…but Sarah, that's not why I like you…I like you…because you are smart, spunky, intelligent, and so very funny…and it's easy to be around you. It's easy to fall for you. And I am falling…don't you see?"

And then it hit her. Voldemort saw her heritage and her power- her magical ability and that is what drew her to him. On some level, she could say the same for Draco…and even Fred. Her magic was an integral part of those relationships. But Collin…it was _her_ he was attracted to…not her potential or her magical ability. And that touched her more than she could express.

"Collin," she whispered.

It was then he kissed her…a sweet, tender kiss that made her heart soar to depths that she hadn't felt in the longest time. He pulled away and then she kissed him, causing him to wrap his arms around her, encasing her in his embrace. They kissed for a few minutes before he pulled away.

"Come with me to the charity ball on Saturday."

"I'm coming with you anyway."

"No, come _with_ me."

"The press will be there." it was a huge fundraiser for the arts in Britain. Collin had helped sponsor it…a twenties era sorrie…a big deal with a lot of the most important people in Britian there. Sarah was always concerned about him going…but the ministry had gone over the guest list three times and security was tight.

"And the prince of Wales…they'll be more interested in him than you."

"But we'll be photographed together."

He smiled at her. "Good."

She titled her head, "Collin."

He put a finger to her lips, "Say yes."

And she knew she couldn't say no. Not to him. She wanted to explore this…with everything in her.

"Yes."

* * *

"Thanks for coming, Mione," Sarah said, relieved. "I'm glad you parents were able to get in touch with you."

"No problem," Hermione responded, "I got everything here," she patted her bag. "We'll do you up right. I brought pictures from that era."

"I wasn't sure how to do everything without magic," she admitted.

"Hello," Collin came down the stairs, "I thought I heard the door." He extended his hand, "Collin Stevens."

"MP," Hermione said with a smile. "Hermione Granger."

"I have heard a lot about you."

"Me too," Hermione paused, "From the press that is."

"Not from Sarah?" Collin asked, his eyes twinkling.

Sarah flushed, "Maybe a letter or two contained some information about you, boss."

"She calls me that from time to time," Collin chuckled, "but she is more my boss than I'm hers."

"That's Sarah for you," Hermione's eyes sparkled, "It's an honor, Mr. Stevens."

"Collin, please."

"Collin. My mum really adores you. She was aching to come and help Sarah with her hair but I had to remind her that she's really not good with hair in general and Sarah has to look stunning."

"I'm sure she will looking stunning no matter what," Collin turned to smile at her and their eyes met. Sarah couldn't help but smile back. Collin turned back to Hermione who was practically beaming. "Your mum can come by the office and visit at anytime. Have Sarah arrange it."

"Really?" Hermione asked, "She'll be thrilled."

"Sarah will set it up, won't you?"

"Of course," Sarah reached out to touch his arm, "That is really kind of you."

"Now I'll let you ladies do whatever you need to do."

"Thanks Collin."

She lead Hermione up the stairs to where she had her things in the lavatory.

"Sarah," Hermione was looking at her, knowingly.

She blushed, "We are friends."

"No, that look between you…it was certainly a more than friends type of look," Hermione told her, her hand on her hip, "And Merlin, Sarah, he is handsome."

"I know," Sarah laughed. "But honestly, we are just friends."

She pursed her lips, "You have snogged, haven't you?"

"Hermione!"

She grinned at her, "Who knows?"

"Nobody," Sarah finally admitted. "Please don't tell the boys."

She held up her hands, "I won't. I promise." She paused, "But Sarah…don't you see how bloody ironic this is?"

"What?" she asked, quizzically.

"You know who…he kept saying how you were like him…and our press still thinks you and him had a thing, but you are falling in love with a muggle…it's like you are telling them to shove it…and I haven't seen you this confident and happy in the longest time."

"We have only known each other for three months."

"So?" Hermione shrugged.

"And the ministry would have a fit."

"At this point, do you really care?"

She shook her head, "Not in the least."

* * *

She pulled on the long black gloves and studied herself in the mirror. The black headpiece was accented by the way Hermione curled up her hair. And the dress…she felt she was living in the 1920s with the black beaded flapper dress and long silver necklace.

She turned to Hermione, "What do you think?"

She smiled, approvingly, "I think I am going to leave before Collin sees you."

"There is going to be press there," Sarah frowned, "Are you sure I look okay?"

"Okay?" Hermione put her arm around her friend, "you look ravishing. Honestly."

"Thank you so much, Mione," she said, quietly.

"You are most welcome," Hermione said, packing her bag. "I'll see myself out."

Sarah continued to study herself in the mirror before heading downstairs a few minutes later.

Collin was standing at the bottom of the steps waiting.

"Hermione said you were com…" he stopped talking, abruptly and just looked at her. Finally he said, "my God, Sarah."

Her face flushed, "I take it that is a good thing."

She reached the bottom of the stairs and he held out his hand and spun her around, examining her.

"You look beautiful," he said, sincerely.

"You look good yourself," she said, adjusting his tie. "Are you ready?"

He nodded.

They rode in a car to the event location.

"Sarah," he took her hand, "The press is set up outside. Just a few pictures and a few questions."

She nodded, "Sure."

"Do you trust me?" he looked in her eyes.

"Absolutely," she said, with a smile.

He took her hand and helped her out of the car and to the area the press was set up.

His arm was securely around her waist as they took a picture and for a moment she leaned her head against her shoulder, causing a stir and more flashes of camera lights. Colin said a few words about the support Britain needed to have for the arts- books he liked and music he was fond of.

"What's your favorite type of music?" a member of the press directed the question to her.

"I've become awfully fond of jazz in the past few months," Sarah answered with a smile and the press, who knew well of Collin's affinity for jazz music, laughed. "But I suppose I have always liked the classics…and then I am keen on the popular music of the day. I have to fight for control of the radio with this one."

More chuckles and Collin pulled her tighter, "I'm going to have to take Sarah to the symphony next. Thanks for the idea, everyone!"

He pulled her away and Sarah didn't look back.

"You are so good with the press," she said.

"You were charming as well," Collin said, with a smile. "Come, let's go get a drink. You earned it and it will help you when we have to mingle."

He led her around, introducing her to his colleagues when he stopped. "How is your curtsey?"

"Um," Sarah frowned, "I can do it."

He whispered in her ear, "Address him as _your royal highness_ and then after the initial address, respond with _sir._ "

Sarah adjusted her gloves, "Okay," she said, with a lot more confidence then she felt.

"Collin," The prince of Wales smiled and held out his hand, "It is good to see you."

Collin shook his hand, confidently, "We appreciate your patronage to this event, your royal highness."

"My pleasure," his eyes turned to rest on her, "Who is this charming woman? You must have twisted her arm to attend with you."

"Sir, may I present Miss Sarah Black," his arm was around her waist, "Sarah, His Royal Highness, Prince Charles of Wales."

Sarah gave a small curtsey, "Your royal highness," she said, "It's a pleasure." a blush flushed her features.

"The pleasure is mine," the prince nodded at her, "Make him dance with you tonight, Sarah. He needs to have fun. The poor boy never gets out."

"I will, sir," she smiled and Collin led her away.

"You know," Sarah leaned up to whisper in his ear, "It's awfully good I grew up away from this world, otherwise I would have been bloody nervous about that whole meeting. Ignorance is bliss in this instance."

He chuckled, "That's funny, Sarah. You were charming as usual."

"You say that often," she said, titling her head, "but often, I don't feel as charming as you see me."

"My dear, that is very much part of your charm," he said, kissing her head.

He pulled away as the event organizer came up to him and spoke in whispers.

"There is a problem," he murmured, "I'm staying in the room though."

She nodded, "I want my eye on you," her tone turned professional and strict.

"I'll make sure," he told her. "As I told Hermione, I know who the boss is when it comes to my safety."

"See that you do," she replied with another smile.

Collin came back a few moments later to claim her for a waltz, followed by the charleston which was a hilarious effort to try to do it with him…but the crowd loved the attempts of their sponsor to be such a good bloke about it all.

They stopped dancing to eat food, when music for a tango came on.

"Do you tango?" he asked.

She nodded.

"I have to admit that my mum made me take ballroom lessons when I was young. They stuck. I enjoy it, actually."

"I can tango," she said.

"Come on then," he lead her to the floor and they began to tango with each other, completely in step and in tune.

"You are good at this," Collin said.

"I was bloody awful at first," she admitted, flushing as she fought the panic that those memories brought.

"When did you learn?"

"A while ago," she said, vaguely. But as hard as she tried to stop it, she couldn't help but remember.

 _"Just as I thought. Sarah, come."_

 _She reluctantly took his hand, "I'm going to step on your foot."_

 _"You will not," Voldemort drew her against him, "push your stomach in. lift your shoulders and keep it that way" his grip was strong on her back. "No, more," he tightened his grip even more, causing her whole body to tense._

 _"I'm going to step on your foot."_

 _He released her for a moment to grip her face, "If you step on my foot, dear, you will be punished."_

 _"How?" she asked._

 _"Creatively."_

 _She looked stricken, but then schooled her features, "I understand now."_

 _"Good girl," he looked at her, "Let's see how well you can be led under the proper enticement." The music turned on and they began to move._

 _"I can feel the fear in your body," he murmured. "do you fear me?"_

 _"I'm neither foolish or reckless anymore, my Lord," she said, quietly._

 _"You are still that", Voldemort said, "that stunt with Potter."_

 _She stumbled. "Damn it, no!"_

 _The music screeched to a stop._

 _"I didn't step on your foot," she said, quickly as he pulled away from her._

 _"No," his gaze was intense. "Try again."_

 _"I'm not good at this."_

 _He pulled her closer to him, "Let me control you."_

 _She stiffened, "I...I'm not sure I understand."_

 _"I've tried the imperius on you before," he told her, "and you managed to block me...an extraordinary feat of will...of strength. Now, I want you to let me. Choose to let me."_

 _"No," she shook her head, "please, I can't lose control."_

 _"Sarah," he held her tightly against him, "you are already out of control. The fact that you think you are in control is a delusion. Allow me."_

 _The sensation was unlike anything she had ever known- she had no will of her own, no way of stopping her actions, but she danced and she danced well, tightly encased in his arms. And the passion was there, but then it stopped and suddenly, she was free again, but she continued to move with ease until the music stopped._

 _"The last part was all you," he whispered in her ear, before turning to Draco, "Draco, try again. If she stumbles, you put her under the imperius as well. You must learn creative ways of keeping your wife under your thumb."_

"Sarah," Collin's voice bought her back to the present.

She stumbled and he caught her and held her against him, balancing her so she wouldn't topple.

"Sorry."

"Come on," He led her off the floor, "You need some water."

He gave her a glass of water and then sat down with her in a nearby bench. "Did you have a flashback? It was like all the sudden you were here but not here."

She nodded. "I get them occasionally."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"You asked me when I learned to tango…it was with him. I let him control my mind…it was the first time I actually let him in…without fighting him."

Collin shut his eyes tightly, "I hate that he has done this to you."

"I don't want it to ruin our night," she said, trying to not show him how disturbed she was, "It's another waltz. Let's try again."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," she smiled at him, "I love dancing, especially when it is with you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Collin smiled at her, his look tender.

* * *

They stayed until eleven when the party dissipated. He took her home and she pulled off her gloves when they walked through the door.

"I had a really fun time," Sarah said, "but I always have a really fun time when I am around you."

"I feel the same way," Collin looked at her, his look intense.

"Well," she shifted and then his look turned determined as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

She shut her eyes, being filled with all the feelings and sensations that came from kissing him. The other day's kisses had been so tender and sweet, but this was more determined…more passionate. His tongue slipped in her mouth and she couldn't helped the moan that escaped which seemed to ignite both of them into further passion as she put her hands on his shoulders.

After a few minutes of kissing, he reluctantly pulled away and she ducked her head, breathless.

"This is completely presumptuous of me, but," He tipped her head up and looked in her eyes. "Will you come upstairs with me?"

Her stomach flip-flopped and it felt like a million snitches…butterflies…had invaded them.

"I…" she flushed, "I haven't…that is…" she searched his eyes.

"What is it?"

"I haven't ever had sex outside of marriage before. I tried before…"she paused, trying to put into words her feelings, "and I just couldn't do it."

"Do you have some moral objection to it?" he asked, quietly. "If that is case, I'll absolutely wait for you for as long as you want because you are worth it," he squeezed her hands, "you aren't a one night stand for me, Sarah. I want more with you. I need more with you."

She bit her lip, "I want more too. So badly," She shifted. "I don't think I do have a moral objection to it. It's…it has always been with Draco…" she took a breath and then let it out, "and I felt safe with him."

"Do you feel safe with me?" he asked, his voice kind.

She nodded, "I do. I never talk to people about things like I do to you. I was always taught to hold my feelings close to myself…to have such control over them because if you don't, the consequences could cost me my life. And now when the danger is gone, I find myself reverting to what I was taught. But with you, I talk about my past and it's so easy to want to share it with you. Even if it is bloody awful."

"That's good, Sarah. So, what is holding you back?"

"I just…" she bit her lip, "I may be rubbish at this all." He could sense her insecurity and it caused his heart to stir for her. She was so beautiful and accomplished, smart and driven, yet completely unaware of it all.

"I sincerely doubt that," Collin said, with conviction, "Sarah," he paused, and then continued, his voice low and soothing, "I want you to see you the way I see you. It's not about your status or your power. I'm attracted to you-your humor, your beauty, your drive for learning and exploring-and I know you don't see it. I know he made you see yourself in other ways, but I want you to see yourself in the way I see you. Will you let me try to show you?"

Her eyes filled with tears, "I feel so free when I am with you," she said. "I can't tell you how much," she sniffled.

"That's good, Sarah," he wiped her tears. "You need to be free to be whoever you want to be."

In that moment, she knew her answer. "Yes."

He smiled at her, kissed her cheek, took her hand in his and led her up the stairs to his bedroom.

He took her gloves and placed them on his dresser and then turned on the small lamp.

The nerves were still there, but they were the best kind of nerves. She wanted him to love her in this way.

He reached for her hands again, squeezing them and pulled him into his arms. They kissed for several more moments before he turned her around, kissing her shoulder, causing her to squirm, before unbuttoning down the back of her dress, kissing down her back while he did so.

He turned her around as the dress dropped to the floor. He kissed her lips again and then reached to take off her headband. "You really did look so beautiful tonight."

"Do you think?" she undid his tie, pulling it off.

"I do."

She reached to unbutton his shirt, surveying his chest. He captivated her just as she did him.

"Collin," she said as she rubbed her hand against his chest, causing him to inhale. "Can I ask you an entirely ridiculous sounding question?" She dropped her hand and for a moment when their eyes met, she looked unsure.

He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder, reveling in the warmth and comfort of their skin touching each other.

"Ask away…you may even ask me _four_ questions." He was referring to their coffee date and she laughed, instantly feeling more at ease.

"Does sex work the same way between muggles than it does between magical people?"

He didn't miss a beat, "I think so, though the contraceptive is different."

"Do you have…um...contraception?" she asked, "I don't dare risk a spell."

"I do," he rubbed her back. "I'll show you when it is time."

"Okay," she leaned up to kiss him again and he unhooked her bra before pulling her up in his arms and carrying her to his bed.

The next half an hour between them was nothing short of marvelous. He stirred her in a ways that she hadn't felt in the longest time. He built her confidence and encouraged her with sweet words.

She looked up at him as he settled over her and she reached for a curl. "I like your hair, Collin. I always wanted to touch it."

"You can touch it whenever you want," he said as she twisted his curl. "You can touch other parts of me too," his look turned mischievous.

"Hum," she smiled at him. "I rather think I like those parts too"

He kissed her again and then pulled back when he felt her stiffen.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, his look tender.

"No," she shook her head, "but I had a thought."

"What kind of thought?"

"The curse that Bellatrix used that killed the baby…they…the healers…they said this might be…uncomfortable…at first." she flushed, "I'm sorry, I should have said something before. I didn't really think about it until now."

His look turned pained but only for a moment. He lifted up her hand to kiss her fingers, "It will be fine, love. We'll stop if you need to and I'll be gentle."

And she had no doubt that he would be true to his word as she practically melted in his embrace.

* * *

He held her afterwards in his arms. "What are you thinking?" he asked her.

"I'm just thinking that…well, magic has always been something within me but what's between us, it's magic too. I felt it. It's different, but it is there."

He stroked her hair, "Magic comes in all sorts and forms in our world, Sarah. It's the moment you hear a symphony for the first time. It's the moment of victory after a long, hard fight. It's hearing your child's heartbeat for the first time and it's the connection between…between two people in love. And when you find that magic, you have to seize it."

She leaned up, "Are we seizing that magic now?"

He nodded, "I said I was falling for you, but that is not true. I have fallen. Completely. I love you. I would never had taken you up here if I didn't. I just wasn't sure you were ready to hear it. I know it's only been a few months, but I'm there, Sarah. I want you to know that."

"Oh Collin," Sarah's tears flowed over, "I love you too."

* * *

Sarah hummed as she went into her room the next morning. They had made love two more times throughout the night and it had been blissful. But now she was in desperate need of coffee since Collin had to get into the office later that afternoon. Thankfully, they had the morning.

She was wearing Collin's shirt but she wanted to search for her nightgown. She unbuttoned his shirt and then slipped into her silky nightgown. It was then that she saw Collin's file on her desk. And it was not how she left it.

She frowned, picking it up. She thumbed through it, a paper and photograph slipping out to land on the floor at her feet. She scooped down to pick it up, but she had never seen it before.

She froze as her eyes scanned the contents.

 _Kate Stevens nee Abbott_

 _Birth: August 1975_

 _Death: April 1998, Killing Curse, Yaxley, Voldemort's inner circle_

Sarah felt like she couldn't breathe. Where did this come from? She continued to read.

 _Our intel indicate that Mrs. Stevens and her unborn child were captured by Voldemort and his death eaters due to her marriage to muggle Collin Stevens. She was killed a the meeting of the inner circle by Yaxley under Voldemort's orders in April, the month before the Great Battle at Hogwarts._

There was a picture and Sarah's heart nearly stopped. She had seen her before. It was all making sense now. Why it took four days to find the body on a road that Collin didn't think Kate ever traveled down.

Her hands shook as her mind wandered back to the meeting of the inner circle she attended- punishment for her joining Harry for those few days.

 _"She's not a child any more, Bella," Voldemort quirked his head, "Bring in the other prisoner."_

 _A young woman, not much older than her, was shoved forward, gagged and tied, shaking violently. Sarah's eyes wandered to the woman's stomach...there was no mistaking the fact that she was also pregnant. She was horrified when she realized what he was doing. He promised to protect her baby, but was willing to offer up someone else to serve as a sacrificial lamb to atone for her sins against him. Meanwhile, drilling into her what he was capable of when tested...she should have knew this was coming- he did the same thing with Draco as well, forcing him to curse a muggle girl that looked just like her._

 _"This young witch graduated in your second year. Do you recall her?" Voldemort asked, turning to her._

 _She stared at the woman, "No, my Lord," she forced herself to answer._

 _"She decided that she should marry a muggle and bear his child, polluting her blood lines."_

 _She took a shuddering breath, her heart hammering._

 _Breathe...deeply...clear your mind_

 _"I haven't quite decided what to do with her, but I want you to know that if you scream at any point during this night, I will kill that wretched child within her...and Bellatrix, if she does, you may do the honors."_

She remembered Bella's questioning of her, with her dark knife and what ensued after Sarah's response was snarky.

 _A muffled scream escaped and Sarah turned in the direction of the sound. Yaxley was holding the woman...cutting her with a knife in the same spots Bella cut her._

 _Five cuts._

 _"More disrespect and I'll cut off her tongue," Yaxley growled at her. "Stay still." he shook the poor girl._

 _Sarah was horrified at the consequences of her impulsiveness, but Bellatrix's next question brought her attention back to her._

 _"And how many days did you stay with Potter, dearest?" Bellatrix breathed against her neck._

She had fought Wormtail to save this woman's life…but after Voldemort declared Sarah spared…he did something that would haunt her memories forever…

 _There were murmurs but no one dared to come forth with a protest._

 _"Now," Voldemort turned to Snape, "Severus, take Mrs. Malfoy back to Snape Manor and I will meet you there in a few minutes."_

 _Snape instantly was by her side, leading her out of the room, but before they were out of the room, Voldemort ordered loudly, "Yaxley, kill the girl."_

 _"No!" Sarah turned back towards him, screaming. She didn't have her wand, however she extended her hand to cast her shield spell wandless._

 _"Damn it, Black, no!" he barked at her._

Sarah sunk on her bed and buried her head in her hands. It was more horrific than she could have ever imagined.

Collin's Kate…Collin's Kate was that woman….the woman who still on occasion haunted her dreams. Collin had lost his wife and unborn child…not to a car crash…but because Voldemort wanted an object lesson for _her._ Her past again was rearing it's ugly head…and threatening her future…

And her heart…the one that had been slowly but surly restored these past three months with Collin just shattered into a million pieces.

 **A/N:** And there is the connection that we have been leading up to…and there is only one place for Sarah to go from here…to Snape. Up next: Snape advises and comforts his daughter. What will he tell her? Will she tell Collin the truth and risk her happiness or will she hide this newfound secret?


	16. Revelations

**Chapter 16: Revelations**

"What is the emergency?" Harry said, patting down his unruly morning hair.

Sarah stuck the file quickly in her large bag. "I need to see Dad for an hour or two. Can you stay with Collin?"

"Shouldn't George be the one to do that?" he asked.

"Please," Sarah turned to him, "I need you to."

"Why me?"

"Because you are my best friend. And George isn't," Her lip started to tremble.

"Sure," Harry immediately acquiesed upon seeing her distress, "but if I am going to against protocol, I kind of would like to know what I am doing it for."

"Collin and my," Sarah swallowed hard, "our past is intertwined in unexpected ways. And I need Dad. I really need Dad. Okay?"

"What kind of ways?"

She took another breath and then pulled out the file, "Somebody put this in the file sometime yesterday. It wasn't there before. If it was, I would have insisted on not taking this position."

Harry skimmed the paper, frowning, "And Collin thinks…"

"His wife died in a car crash. But Harry," Sarah reached out to touch his forearm, "I was there. Voldemort used Collin's wife to parallel what could happen to me if I left him again. It was after Draco sent me with you and I spent those days with you at Shell Cottage. I was there at this meeting," she took another breath and then let it out, "it was because of me that she died." her lip began to quiver. "damn it!"

He titled his head, studying her, "What exactly is going on between you and him?"

Sarah shrugged and Collin appeared in the doorway in a t-shirt and his pajama pants. "I thought I heard voices," he said, his frown deep, "What is going on, Sarah?"

Harry quickly handed Sarah back the file and she stuffed it in her bag.

"Collin Stevens, meet the one and only Harry Potter," she said, gesturing to Harry, "Harry is going to stay with you for an hour or two."

"Nice to meet you," Collin extended his hand and Harry shook it. Then he turned to her and said pointedly, "Can we talk in private?"

Harry shifted, "I brought in the paper early. I think I'll just go and read it. Do you mind if I make coffee?"

"Can he make coffee?" Collin asked Sarah.

"Harry makes great coffee. He grew up in a muggle family," Sarah said.

"Then, yes, that would be wonderful," Collin nodded.

He clicked the door to Sarah's room shut behind him.

"What is going on?" Collin asked, crossing his arms.

"I need to visit my dad."

"Visit your dad?" Collin frowned, "Now?"

"Yes, now," Sarah nodded, "I haven't seen him in months and I'm overdue for a visit."

"Come now, Sarah," He titled his head, "Surely you understand how the timing of this is completely odd."

"I just," Sarah's lip trembled, "please. I will explain later."

"Are you upset because we had sex? Was it unpleasant for you?"

"Collin," Sarah closed her eyes, "we wouldn't have had sex three times if it was unpleasant for me. And I meant what I said last night. I'm there too. But things are complicated. Surely _you_ can see that."

"Because of your job."

"Yes, and that I am a witch. And because I have a past. A very complicated past," Sarah said.

"You have told me of your past," Collin said, "And I accept it. I accept those parts of you."

"You say that now," Sarah bit her lip.

"Nothing will cause that to change," Collin frowned, "What is wrong with you?"

Her lip trembled again as she tried not to cry, "I need my dad."

"The snarky potions professor."

"My _dad_ ," she retorted.

"Why is George not here?" Collin said, "Aren't you going against your protocol?"

"Because," she reached out to touch a wayward curl, "there are four people I trust explicitly in this world- you, Harry, my dad…and…" she paused, "never mind."

"Your ex," he said, knowingly.

"Yes, I do," she said. "George is a good bloke and he is a good auror, but when you need a favor, you call your best friend, right?"

He nodded, "I still just wish you would tell me what is wrong."

"I will tell you. After I talk to my dad."

"Okay," Collin let out his breath, "Just hurry back. And do be careful."

"I will," she said, "In the meantime, you and Harry can get to know each other."

"As long as you promise me that you will come back before making any sorts of decisions," he said, reaching to rub his thumb across her cheek.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "I promise I will come back before making any sorts of decisions."

* * *

Collin gave her a few moments with Harry before hearing the door click. He went out the door into the kitchen.

"Would you like coffee?" Harry asked, "I made a whole pot."

"Yes, thank you. I need some this morning," he said.

Harry held up the paper with a grin, "Long night?" he titled his head. The picture contained a photograph of Sarah with her head on Collin's shoulder, looking quite intimate together.

"Are you going to interrogate me?" Collin poured himself a cup.

"I am her best mate," Harry said, "and I don't want to see her hurt. She's been hurt enough."

"I'm not going to hurt her."

"You haven't seen her at her lowest," Harry said, "She is so bloody strong. She is probably the strongest witch that Hogwarts has graduated in the longest time. And she is bloody brilliant. But she is also Sarah. The girl who played pranks with the Weasley twins, the one that I would go to with a problem. The one who practically did my homework for me all through Hogwarts…she was my partner in crime…and when I need her, she was there for me. She sacrificed everything to keep me safe and to help me defeat Voldemort. I won't allow her to be hurt again."

Collin took a sip of his coffee, "Harry…may I call you Harry?"

Harry nodded.

"I'm not going to hurt Sarah. I want to take care of her and ensure that no one will ever hurt her again."

"Then we are quite in agreement."

Collin sat down at the table, "Why do you think she went to see Professor Snape?"

"Did your wife tell you about Professor Snape?"

Collin nodded, "She made it sound like he is a right awful git."

"He is snarky and that hasn't changed. And he has a past, but a lot of what he did was to protect me…and protect Sarah. I owe him a debt of gratitude…and when you get to know him, he isn't that awful. Sure, he still has that sarcastic dry humor and he can give you a dressing down with just one glare, but he has kindness in him. And when it comes out the most is around Sarah."

"She seems to quite adore him."

"She does," Harry nodded, "And if there is one person on this planet that she trusts the most, it is Snape. He was so strict with her, but he also gave her plenty of understanding and emotional support. She learned to tow the line with him…eventually. I think they have had a few rough patches throughout the years. Sarah likes to do what she wants to do…and Snape's expectations for her were always high…he needed it to be that way so she would survive Voldemort. And she did. You just have to see them together to understand."

"Will the ministry have problems with Sarah and I together?"

"Yes," Harry said, bluntly, "And the whole wizarding world for that matter. Even with the negative press she got from being Voldemort's heir, most people still see her as the darling of our cause and a hero for the way she stood up to Voldemort that final day…and killed Bellatrix."

"And what about Professor Snape?"

Harry shrugged, "I honestly don't know. But you need Snape on your side, that's for sure."

"And what about you?"

"If you make her happy…truly happy…and a willing for her to be herself with you…then I don't care if she leaves our life behind…"

"I wouldn't want her to entirely. I know this is a part of who she is."

"Some wizards and witches can skate between both worlds, but for as high profile you are in your community and Sarah is in ours, I don't think that will be possible. We have to maintain the secrecy of our world…and the ministry takes that quite seriously. And in that case…" Harry took another sip, "Good luck with Snape."

"Thanks," Collin frowned.

* * *

Sarah knocked on the door to Severus's quarters. Hogwarts was still in session since starting the school year so late due to renovations. Snape answered the door a few moments later.

"Sarah," his shock was evident, "I didn't expect you."

"I should have called, but I didn't have access to the floo."

"Of course not. And you don't have to call. Come in," Severus said, "Have you had breakfast?"

"No, actually," Sarah said. "Is Andi here?"

"Right here," Andromeda said, brightly, but stood from her spot at the table. "I was just leaving though." Andi could sense that something wrong from Sarah's demeanor and wanted to give Sarah time alone with Severus.

"You don't have to leave, Andi," Sarah said, quickly, "I don't want to interrupt your breakfast."

"I was just finished," Andi leaned over to give Severus a kiss. She walked up to Sarah and gave her a hug. "Take care, Sarah."

"I'll talk to you later, Sev," She said and reached for her bag.

"Of course," Severus said. He held up his index finger, "One moment, Sarah. I'll be right back."

"Of course," Sarah coughed, "Take your time."

Severus saw Andi out and Sarah could hear them talking in low whispers before Severus came back to the main living room.

"Come," Severus gestured to her, walking past her, "I have muffins, but I can make you some more eggs if you wish. Or ask the house elf to bring whatever you wish. You are looking too thin. I do hope you have been eating properly like you promised," He turned around when he didn't hear her moving to follow him. "Sarah."

She stood there with her bag, staring at him. And in the safety of Severus's presence, she felt her defenses crack…falling to pieces in the middle of his sitting room. Her face crumpled as she ducked her head and began to cry.

"Very well, then," Severus said, "Breakfast later. Come to me, Black."

He opened his arms and Sarah launched herself in them, sobbing against his chest.

"What ever is the matter?" he asked, his voice low as he tried to comfort her. He was scared by her reaction…he couldn't think of what could have happened that would be so awful to bring her like this to him.

She hiccuped, "I'm in love with Collin Stevens."

Severus inhaled, "Are you?"

"Yes," she sobbed.

"And is he…" Severus's voice trailed off.

"He says he is in love with me." She cried, against his chest. "We…were intimate last night. I know I shouldn't because I am on his case and tasked with his protection, but he makes me feel so safe and normal…I wanted to. So I did."

Another sharp inhale.

"Don't scold," she sobbed.

He let out his breath, "Let's sit down."

He led her to the couch and tucked her in his arms. "Why are you crying so?"

"Because he'll never want me now."

"What do you mean?"

"His wife was Kate Abbott."

Severus stilled and then stiffened, "Oh no." He fell silent and then, "I didn't think to ask. I should have asked."

"So you know whom I am talking about?" Sarah pulled out of his arms, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"I taught Kate," Severus said, "And like you, I was there, the night Voldemort ordered her death."

Sarah reached for her bag, pulling out the file, "This appeared in Collin's file. The wards weren't breached. But it did appear."

"Who has access to the wards?"

"Collin, myself, Sam Abbott, George."

Snape frowned and took the paper, reading over it.

"So this is true?" Sarah asked again, "I mean the girl in this picture is Kate Abbott?"

He nodded. "I knew Kate. Kate was definitely the one whom Voldemort killed that night- the same night you were fighting to save her. I know you don't wish it to be true. But it is."

"I knew it was…I just had hoped…it was foolish to hope…" She ducked her head down again and began to sob again.

"Oh, sweetheart," Snape murmured, "come here."

He pulled her into his arms again and let her cry, rocking her against him.

After a few minutes, she pulled away, "I'm sorry I lost it like this."

"Don't be," He pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her, "Blow your nose. You have snot everywhere."

She blew her nose and wrung the handkerchief in her hand, "He thinks she died in a car crash!"

Severus sighed, "but now you and I know that she didn't. And someone else out there."

"The ministry knows…right? This looks like a ministry report. They sent me into this….knowing my connection with Kate."

"They don't know _you_ were there. But yes, it looks like they withheld this information from you…probably for obvious reasons."

She bit her lip and heaved, "All of my sins are coming back to haunt me."

"Your sins?" Severus frowned, "You are not to blame for Kate's death."

"But I am!' Sarah said, "he targeted her to teach me a lesson. It was all too convenient otherwise."

He titled his head back and forth, "perhaps so. But he would have killed her that night regardless of what you did."

"What do I do?" she asked, her voice hoarse. "I have to tell him the truth, right?"

Severus looked at her and then sighed, "If you are truly in love with him, Sarah Grace, which is entirely another issue you and I need to discuss in length…but if you are truly in love with him…then yes, you have to tell him."

"This will torment him to know that Kate died this way. Isn't it more compassionate to let him think it was a car accident?"

"But other people know, little girl. If someone gave the information to you, they can definitely give it to Collin. And then if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, well then, I would definitely think that would mean the end of your relationship."

She leaned back against Snape and he adjusted his arms so they were wrapped around her once again. "It's too unbearable. For these few weeks, I've felt happy."

"I know," he throat was dry.

"You disapprove of it all, don't you?"

"I would have to meet Collin to see if he is worthy of you…but I don't like the idea of you giving up your magical future for him."

"Andi had both."

"Andi wasn't married to such a high profile figure."

She sighed, "I know."

"Your magic is ingrained in you. It's part of your identity."

"But that's just it, Dad," She pulled away again, "They all were attracted to me in part because of that ability. Draco wouldn't have nearly liked me if I couldn't hold my own with him. Fred either for that matter. And certainly not Voldemort. I just like being Sarah with him."

"But this is a part of Sarah," Snape said, gently. "And you are a powerful witch which such a bright future in our world. You can't deny that part of you."

"It's too soon to talk of all of this…"

"But if you enter this relationship willingly then you should be in with a purpose. And the ministry will have a problem with it. Especially if you are having sex with him when you are supposed to be on the job."

"i know," She sighed, "It won't matter anyway. He'll won't want me now."

"Then," Severus looked into her eyes as he touched her face gently, "He isn't worthy of you, Sarah. Not by far."

She reached for another hug. "I just needed you today. I really just needed you."

"And I am here. Whenever you need me. I love you. And I know all about the past haunting the present."

"I know you would."

"What are you going to do?" Severus reached to brush aside her hair which was plastered to her face by her tears.

"Tell him the truth," She said. "What else can I do?"

"I think that is probably the most prudent course," Severus said, standing, "but you aren't leaving without breakfast."

"I don't know how I could eat anything," she said.

"You should though," Snape said, "it will give you strength for what is ahead."

"May I come home to live with you?" Sarah stood too.

There was a long pause, Snape turning back towards her. He stood and she could tell he was carefully considering his words before he spoke, "While this will always be your home, I would not be a good father, if I let you run from your responsibilities because you were afraid. You must face your fears and live your life."

She swallowed hard, "I will tell Collin and then I will figure out what to do about the ministry. But Dad, if everything explodes on me, can I come home?"

"Of course, Sarah Grace," He nodded once, "Now let's go get some food in your stomach."

He coaxed her to eat a muffin and a cup of coffee.

"Who is with Collin now?" Snape asked.

"Harry," Sarah said, "I couldn't ask anyone else. And I don't trust anyone else besides Harry and you..and Draco."

"I saw Draco the other day," Snape said, causally, "He is looking well. Taking his job at the ministry seriously."

"I'm glad," Sarah said, sincerely, "I want him to succeed so badly- for himself. I know he feels the need to prove himself to Lucius, but more so I think he needs to prove to himself that he can succeed."

"Do you ever miss him, Sarah?"

"I miss Draco every day," Sarah said, honestly, "And you know that my heart will always be twined up in Draco's. There is a connection between us that is so real and powerful. But he chose to let me go. I understand his choice, but I will always feel like he thought I wasn't good enough…like he bought into Lucius and Narcissa's perspective. I had money. We would have been fine. But he chose to listen to his parents."

"I'll never forgive Narcissa for interfering so."

"Dad," Sarah paused, "Does Narcissa know about you and Andi?"

"Oh yes," Snape nodded, "We kept it secret from her for months but Draco convinced me to tell her."

"And?"

"She's naturally upset by that change in events."

"Why?"

"Like Draco was for you, she was my best friend, Sarah. And we had a connection that couldn't be denied. But she was married and she chose to act in a way that was to your detriment even as I pleaded with her not to pressure Draco to divorce you. I could never be with a woman who would willingly hurt my daughter so."

"And Andi?"

"Andromeda and her sister have been estranged for years. She throws up her hands and tells me it is hopeless to reason with Narcissa. But still, like you, there are times I have missed my friend."

She reached over to pat his hand, "I love you. You are really the best man I know."

"That is praise I definitely do not deserve," Snape said, his voice low.

"I think you deserve that and more," Sarah said, firmly, "Thank you for your advice today…even if you disapprove."

Snape pursed his lips, "I did not say I disapprove."

"But you did not say you approved."

"True," Snape said, slowly, "my judgment will be withheld until a further date."

"Good enough for me," Sarah said, smiling at him. And then she sighed, "This is going to be so hard."

"You have always faced your challenges head on, Sarah. And that is when you thrive. And show us all just how much of a strong, beautiful woman you truly have become."

"That is praise _I definitely_ do not deserve," Sarah said, titling her head.

"Really?" Snape said, lightly, "I quite think that is praise you deserve and more. I just don't give it to you so you won't allow it to go to your head."

She smiled again. If there was one person in the world that she could count on, it was Snape. And she was ever so grateful for that fact.

* * *

Sarah returned to find Collin and Harry chatting together like they had been friends for years.

She smiled at them, "I'm glad to see you two getting along."

Collin stood and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "It was good to spend time with your best mate…and hear some stories about you."

She laughed, her smile wide, "Yes, I was a bit of a troublemaker back in the day."

"And you tow the line so well these days," Harry teased.

"Okay, well, only when I am faced with ridiculousness," Sarah argued, a hand on her hip.

"Ah hah, I see, if people and policies weren't so ridiculous, then you would obey so well," Harry laughed.

"Of course!" Sarah exclaimed, with mock indigence.

"I'll believe that when I see it," Harry chuckled, standing, "Well, I should be off."

"Thanks for coming," Sarah said, reaching out to squeeze his hand, "You are the best. I'll walk you out. Be right back, Collin."

"Sure," he nodded, still sitting at the table.

They reached the front door.

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked, quietly.

"Tell the truth," Sarah said, swallowing hard, "It's the right thing to do but Merlin help me it is going to be hard."

"I don't envy you," Harry admitted, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Call me through the mirror if you need me…even if it is just to talk."

"I will," Sarah said. "Thank you again, Mr. Potter."

"You are welcome, Paddy. I love you."

Sarah lip quivered as her eyes flooded with tears. "I love you too, Harry."

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what is going on now?" Collin asked, with a weary hand through his curls.

She nodded, sitting down at the table with him and tapping her fingers anxiously against it.

"Is it that bad?" Collin asked, worried.

She nodded again.

"Okay, then you better just tell me," Collin said. "Whatever it is, we can deal with it together."

Sarah cleared her throat and tried to find the words, "There is no easy way to break this to you," her voice was hoarse, "It's about Kate."

"My Kate?" Collin asked, his brow wrinkling in confusion.

"Yes," she coughed, "it's about how she died. It wasn't a car crash."

Collin stilled, his mouth dropping. He didn't say anything at first, but then cleared his throat, "If it wasn't a car crash, then how did my wife die?"

Sarah handed him the file. "This paper appeared in the file that I have on you this morning."

"How?" Collin frowned.

"I don't know. That's another matter. Read it, Collin. You deserve the truth."

Collin skimmed the paper and then looked up at her, disturbed, "Are you sure this is true?"

"Oh Collin, I am sure," Sarah's tears flowed over, "I was there."

"Wait, what?" Collin shifted heavily in his chair, "What do you mean _you_ were there?"

Sarah ducked her head, trying to get her composure.

"Sarah?" Collin pressed, urgently.

"Voldemort," she coughed again, clearing her throat, "called a meeting of his inner circle last April for the purpose of addressing my betrayal of him. I had joined Harry for a few days and ended up going back to Voldemort…again to protect the ones I love."

"If you knew how he would retaliate, why would you have joined Harry in the first place?"

Her look was pained, "Draco forced me into it…because he saw that Voldemort was tempting me…in a way that he was afraid I would lose myself to him."

"Like join Voldemort?"

"No, not join him…well, I don't know…not fight him outright at least. I was conflicted."

"So, how does Kate get involved in this?"

"I was pregnant at the time, remember? I believe Voldemort chose Kate to…show me what would happen to me and my child if I didn't choose him," Sarah wiped her tears, "I tried to intervene, Collin. At one point, he told me that if I dueled one of his death eaters and lost, he would kill Kate. And I did duel the death eater and I won…I won for Kate. But Voldemort is Voldemort and in the end, I could have done everything he asked and he still would have killed her. He told me that."

Collin held up his hand and then balled it into a fist, "So, Kate died because Voldemort wanted a lesson for you?"

"It's more complicated than that…it was also because she chose to marry you and have your baby."

"So, it's my fault?"

"It's no one's fault. Except Voldemort's," Sarah said, her throat dry.

"And so, you won the match against his death eater…and he just ordered my wife's execution?"

"Yes," she swallowed down her tears, trying to hold it together.

"And that is how she died?"

"Yes."

"And what happened to you?"

Sarah bit her lip, "I don't understand your question."

"What happened to you?" Collin asked.

"Snape took me back to his house…"

"Snape?"

"Snape was a spy…for the Order."

"So, he took you back and then what?"

"Collin," Sarah's throat was parched, "it doesn't matter."

"It does to me," he said.

"And Voldemort…he…spanked my hand…and undressed me and put me to bed."

"So," Collin smacked his hand against the table, "he tucked you into bed while my wife was murdered and God knows what else?!"

"The killing curse is instant, Collin. She wasn't in pain."

"How do you know?"

She shut her eyes, "Collin, please. I know it doesn't seem fair."

"I just want to understand why he decided to show such mercy to you and didn't afford my wife and child the same mercy."

"What did you want…him to kill me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"No, of course, not," Collin snapped, "I wanted to know what the difference was."

She took a breath, trying to gather composure. "He had plans for me. It's why he spared me."

"But Kate never did anything to him! You betrayed him! What great offense did my wife and child commit to cause him to be so cruel?"

"Voldemort," Sarah stood up and went to get a drink of water, taking a long sip. When she turned around there were tears rolling down her cheeks, "Your child was the offense, Collin."

"I don't understand."

"My child…he was as pureblooded us they came. He was the result of three ancient wizarding family blood lines. Voldemort wasn't about to kill him. Your child…had your blood. That in itself was the great offense. That is why he showed me mercy but not Kate."

He stood, "This is a lot, Sarah."

"I know," she whispered, "I would have died to save her, Collin. Please know that."

"I need…I just need to think."

"Of course," Sarah said, her voice calmer than she felt.

He strode to the entrance to the hallway before turning, "Just…please don't leave. That is the last thing I want. I want you to stay. Promise me, you won't leave."

"Of course not."

He left without another word.

* * *

A half an hour later, Sarah went up the stairs to use the loo and wash her face. She had cried out what seemed like all the tears she had to cry.

It's when she heard…sobbing…from Collin's room.

Her heart tore. She went to his closed door and the turned around, her back against it and slid down to the floor. She put her head in her knees and began to cry again.

She heard Collin shuffle and then step to the doorway and she felt him slide down against the door.

"Was she scared?"

"Yes," Sarah choked out.

"Were you scared?" he asked through the closed door.

"I was terrified. I was perhaps more scared than I have ever been in my life…"

"I can't bear to think of either of you so afraid," Collin said, his voice cracking.

"I'm afraid now," it was barely a whisper and he had to strain to hear her.

The door opened and Collin bent down to pull her up into his arms. Then he slid down on the middle of the floor with her as they both cried.

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid that you will blame me. And perhaps rightly so.."

"No, love."

"It is my fault," Sarah said, "And I take full responsibility for it. It was wrong I got off so easy and Kate forfeited her life."

"It's not your fault," Collin said, "I don't truly believe that for a minute. Please forgive me for implying that. I just wanted to understand the difference. I would never want him to harm you…and I know he did in ways that you are still trying to come to grips with."

"But I bear some responsibility."

"As do I…we knew what the environment was when I married her. I should have insisted on us waiting until the wizarding world was stable. I assumed if she withdrew from it, she would be safe."

"You couldn't have known."

"Do you think…do you think they hurt her in other ways?"

Sarah paused, "I really don't know, Collin."

"Could you find out?"

"I could do some digging for you," she buried her head against him, "but do you really want to find out the answer to that question?"

"I just need…the whole truth, Sarah. Please."

"Okay."

"I feel like I have lost her all over again."

"I know."

"I don't know how to deal with this information."

"I know."

"I still love you, you know that."

"Do you?"

"And I know this is hurting you too…and I'm sorry. I just need time to process this."

"I understand that."

"Will you help me?"

She lifted her head, "What do you mean?"

"Help me process it? Talk it over with me? Be there for me?"

She closed her eyes, a fresh wave of tears falling, "Of course."

He leaned over and kissed her tenderly. "I want us…you and I to be a team. And I want to share these hard moments with you. I'm angry and hurt…but it's not at you."

"I understand that," she began to cry more.

"Why are you crying harder?" he asked, his voice full of emotion.

"I thought you would hate me."

"How could I suddenly hate you?"

"Because I hate me…for all these things."

He pulled her even tighter against him, "What did your father say about all this?"

"He said…if you hated me over this, then you didn't deserve me to begin with."

"I quite agree with that," Collin said, with a kiss on her head. "And I look forward to proving to him that I am worthy of the trust you have placed in me."

He picked her up and placed her in the bed and then climbed in and pulled her closed…and they stayed that way for the longest time until Sarah fell asleep, curled up in his arms.


	17. Reprecussions

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter has taken so long to write, but it's a long one. Please R&R...btw, Collin's character...someone asked me an equivalent of a movie actor...I personally picture a young Colin firth with blue eyes (instead of brown)...;)

 **Chapter 17: Repercussions**

"Eggs?"" Sarah asked as Collin came up behind her in the kitchen the next morning.

"Sure," Collin said, "Do you need help?"

"No, it's just eggs and bacon," Sarah laughed, "I think I have it hand. Coffee is ready in the pot."

"You have been busy early," Collin said, opening the cabinet and reaching for a mug, "Did you not sleep well?"

She shrugged, "No, not really. Did I keep you up?"

"I could just feel you turning through the night. You were so restless. I wanted to say something but I wasn't sure if you were sleeping or not."

"I'm sorry, Collin. I should have moved downstairs," Sarah scrabbled the eggs.

"Then I would have really been up because I would have come searching for you," Collin told her, matter of factually as he reached for the coffee. "Any reason in particular?"

"Besides the obvious?" she asked, looking over her shoulder to him.

"Yes, that is what I'm asking."

"Bad dream," she said, vaguely.

"Hum," Collin poured milk into his coffee, "About him?"

"Yes."

"Wake me the next time."

"You need your sleep," Sarah argued, frying the bacon in another pan, "You have such an important job."

"And one of my important jobs," he stirred the milk in with a spoon, "is to help my girlfriend if she needs it."

She paused at the way he described her, "Okay," she agreed, with a smile, "I will wake you the next time."

"Good," he took a gulp of coffee. There was a shuffling by the door and Sarah turned to him,

"What is that?"

"Probably just a bird."

An owl hooted in response.

She went to dry her hands on the towel and pulled her wand out, "Stay back."

"Sarah," Collin looked grave, "Be careful."

"Of course," she said, going into the other room to check the front door. She came back a few minutes later with an envelope in her hands.

"What is it?"

"From the ministry," she said, unfolding it. Her eyes scanned it quickly and then handed it to Collin, taking the spatula from him to plate the food.

"A meeting this morning with your boss?" Collin asked, reading it over. "What about?"

"There may have been a development on your case or one of the other ones I am working on. I'm sure it's nothing serious. Don't worry," she said, dismissively.

"Are you worried?"

She shook head and handed him his plate, "No. Harry will be here soon. I need to shower and get dressed. Enjoy breakfast." She forced a smile and left without another word.

Twenty minutes later she came back into the kitchen, Collin doing the dishes and Harry sitting and drinking a cup of coffee.

Collin turned to her, "Harry brought you a muffin."

"Did he?" Sarah smiled at Harry, who had stood up at her arrival and went into his open arms. "Thank you, Harry. I will take that for after I apparate," she grinned.

"Good idea," He nodded solemnly, knowing her continued queasiness with apparition. "You are looking nice, Sarah. Pretty dress on you."

Sarah was wearing a black dress which was belted at the waist, accentuating her figure. She had a turquoise glass necklace on, adding a signature flair of color, contrasting against the black of her outfit. The sides of her hair were pulled back, fastened with a turquoise barrette. She wore black heels and had her black and white damask printed bag over her arm.

"Thank you," She squeezed his arms, "I have to look presentable. Check the wards again for me, won't you, Harry?"

"I'll do that once you leave."

"Which I should be leaving now," Sarah reached for the sack with the muffin in it and then turned to Collin. "I hopefully won't be long."

He dried his hands, "Take your time, of course."

"I'm afraid we need to ask you not to go into the office while I'm gone."

"I already told Sam I was working from home this morning."

"Again?" Sarah winced at the thought of Sam's reaction. "I'm sure Sam was pleased," she added sarcastically.

"A long weekend never hurt anyone," Collin said, holding out his arms and Sarah stepped into them.

"Have a good day," he said, kissing her, briefly with an awkward peck on the lips. She pulled away.

"Goodbye, Collin," she forced another smile, trying to ignore the awkward kiss they just had in front of Harry. She then turned to Harry. "Walk me out, why don't you?"

Harry nodded and they walked to the door.

"I thought you said last night when you called through the mirror to check in that you and Collin are fine."

"We are," she said, flushing, "It's just…it's awkward knowing how Kate died…for both of us I think. I don't know if he feels guilty kissing me or if I do. I just don't know."

Harry nodded and she continued, "Why did you bring me a muffin? Am I getting sacked?" she whispered.

"No," Harry's eyes were wide, "Well, I don't know that is," he admitted, "The _Daily Prophet_ has the story of you and Collin. I asked to come here and guard Collin because I wanted to warn you and wasn't sure that George would."

She cringed, "This is going to be unpleasant with Robards and Lupin, isn't it?"

"Fraid so," Harry squeezed her shoulder, "Chin up, Paddy. And stand your ground."

She nodded slowly, "Take care of Collin, please."

"George is coming in an hour too. He'll have double protection today with the story that has come out and you being called to the ministry. It seems like ideal timing for something to happen."

Sarah frowned and then checked her watch, "I really have to go."

"I'll take care of him," Harry nodded, "We will all be fine."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left without another word.

Harry turned around to find Collin standing at the doorway, "She is shutting me out of something," he commented.

Harry shrugged, "It's not my story to tell."

"Is she in trouble? Can you at least tell me that?"

Harry gave him a lopsided smile, "To be honest with you, she's used to being in trouble. I wouldn't worry about Sarah. It can't be any worse than what Snape doled out at her growing up. And she isn't going to let anyone try to handle her, especially not the ministry."

But Collin did look worried, even though he knew that Harry's words were true. Sarah could handle herself.

* * *

Sarah stared at the Daily Prophet that Robards gruffly threw down in front of her.

"Is this story true?"

She lifted her head to look across the table at him and then over at Lupin, "I would have to read it to confirm or deny the details, sir."

Robards' eyes narrowed and then gestured for her to go on. She lifted the paper, unfolded it methodically, and read it slowly and deliberately, before folding it back and sitting it carefully back on the table.

"Well," Robards asked, impatiently, "I'm waiting, Black. Are you having an improper relationship with Collin Stevens?"

She looked at Lupin again, but his face was blank.

"I am in a relationship with Collin Stevens," she nodded.

"Physical?" Robards growled.

"Are you asking how far we have taken it?" Sarah titled her head, "A snog? A shag? What difference does it make?"

"Plenty!" Robards slammed his files down, "Answer the damn question, Black."

"We have had sex, yes," She answered, evenly, "but it is none of the ministry's damn business, who or who I don't sleep with," her voice was low and she was over punctuating the words, similar to how Snape acts when he is annoyed. "Last time I checked I was an adult…and the last time I checked, we fought a war against all of this rubbish," she tossed the Daily Prophet across the table. "Tell me, sir: why did I go to all the trouble to defeat Voldemort if all the prejudices that he led on still remain?"

"It isn't about that, Black!" Robards pointed his finger at her.

"It is about that!" she shot back, her cool demeanor turning passionate, "if this was a relationship with Harry….well, that was encouraged…but still just as improper according to the auror code of conduct considering we work together...yet no one seemed to have a problem with that idea-this office, the ministry or the entire wizarding community."

"So, you admit you understand it is improper?" Lupin intervened, quickly, noticing Robards' red face.

"I understand how maybe the ministry would view it as such," she conceded, pursing her lips.

"Black, I've given you chance after chance and you still make the most inane reckless decisions for your career. You should be running this place in five- ten years. Forget Potter. He may be the savior, but it is _you_ who managed through our cunning and strength of mind to thwart Voldemort. In a lot of ways, Potter got lucky…but you…you weren't lucky, were you?"

"Voldemort would say I was."

"He knew you weren't!" Robards retorted. "If he knew how many times you occluded your mind against him, the secrets you held, what you helped Potter do…he would have killed you on the spot. For all the evil he was and he was that, he was right about you. You have potential for greatness."

"I don't want to run this place in five or ten years," Sarah responded, "Let Harry continue to be the one you look at to take over all of this. He will be great at it. And I'm sorry you are disappointed…"

"Disappointed?" Robards growled. "I'm livid. You are a whole of a hell lot smarter than all of this shit, Black. I gave you another chance when I should have just sacked you after the Yaxley debacle. I believed that you had the potential to be a fine auror and this is how you repay my faith in you? For what? A good shag with a muggle?"

"it isn't just a good shag, sir," she said, her voice even.

Robards paused, "Then you are a greater imbecile that I thought. I sent you to complete a mission and so far, I have this," he picked up to shake the paper at her, "and no closer to finding out who is behind the threats. You have let me down…and you have let this ministry down…and their world…and our world for that matter."

"If that is the case," Sarah's voice turned cool again…eerily so, definitely reminiscent of Snape when he was angry, "then you are well within your rights as my boss to sack me."

"No," Robards growled, "I have half a mind to think that is what you wanted from the beginning and there is no way I am giving you that. I will figure out what to do with this. In the meantime, you are under review. You should continue to guard Mr. Stevens but I want you to find out who is behind the threats and close this case…soon…have I made myself clear?

"Quite so, sir," she nodded, her face stony, "Are we done here?"

"No, Black, we are not," Robards motioned for her to sit. "I want to say a few more things to you…about these decisions."

He proceeded for the next ten minutes to completely ream her out, which Sarah stoically took with a coolness and calm that would make Snape proud. When he had finished, he plopped a stack of papers in front of her.

"I want these reviewed and summarized for me. You are also behind on your paperwork. I want all finished by tomorrow. Do you understand me?"

"Completely, sir," Sarah nodded, her tone even.

"Go," Robards pointed to the door and Sarah gathered the papers, stuffed them in her bag and headed towards the door.

"Black," Robards said, his tone softening. She turned and waited.

"I'm sorry if I was too rough on you. You need to think about what you are willing to give up for this relationship. Long and hard. That was part of my intention today. You have the makings of a fine auror- one of our best. We need you."

"You weren't too hard on me, sir. Voldemort would have used an unforgivable," she turned and walked out of the room.

"Sarah!" Lupin rushed after her and then firmly took her arm, leading her into his office and shutting the door.

"Yes?" she asked, impatiently.

"Don't get an attitude with me, Paddy," Lupin told her, firmly.

"I don't have an attitude with you, Remus," Sarah titled her head. "But don't call that, either, not when you let Robards ream me out and didn't say a word in my defense."

"What could I say to defend you?" Remus asked. "It is highly improper what you are doing with Collin Stevens. For Merlin's sake, use your head! What does your father say?"

"Dad doesn't say anything about it, Remus," she said, quietly. "He is withholding judgement…which is what I hoped you and Robards would have done…considering I am still doing my job. I have sent you detailed notes throughout this whole process. You know how thorough my work has been and if we have not caught the people behind the threats, it isn't because anything I haven't done. You know that!"

"I know that. And I told Robards that. But as for your relationship with Collin, I can't defend that. You know that it is wrong to enter an intimate relationship with one you are protecting."

"You could have defended me, Remus, if you really wanted to."

"Be fair, Sarah," Remus said, evenly. "What could I have said to defend you there?"

"You could have said, 'this is a woman who at all cost protects the ones she cares about and that Collin Stevens is served even better now because he isn't just some case to her now…he is real…and she will go to her grave protecting him if need be…but not because of some oath…but because as Dumbledore said….love…love is what saves us.'" She took a heaving breath, because now in the safety of Lupin's office in front of a person she counted as a friend, she was free to give up her steely fascade. "He would have been disgusted, do you know that? Because he would know that this isn't about me and Collin Stevens. It is about me doing something that makes the ministry look bad. And it is about a witch and a muggle and us as a society figuring out where exactly we stand on that. I had hoped that with Voldemort's death, things would have changed. But it hasn't, has it?"

"Paddy…" Lupin looked stricken.

She took another heaving breath and held up her hand,

" Just…I need time to get over this. It was an ambush in there…and you did nothing to warn me about it even when we sat there for five minutes before Robards came in. Harry at least had the good grace to tell me about the Prophet."

"You acted so shocked though. Were you really warned about it?"

"Come now, Remus," Sarah gave him a small smile, "I was a spy. Give me some credit. I know how to act when questioned. You and Robards says you have all this faith and me…and then you are really so surprised when I act in the ways that you say I am so good at," she shook her head. "Give my godson a kiss for me."

She turned and headed for the door.

"Wait!"

"What is ti?" she turned back to him.

"My job is in a precarious situation with whom I am, Paddy. You are right about old prejudices still being ingrained in the ministry," Lupin said, gravely. "Even so, I do believe you are in the wrong here and I know you think so too. You are an adult now, Sarah. And you are more than capable of handling the consequences of your actions without me coming to your defense to try to shield you from the consequences you knew were going to occur."

"That's true," Her face softened, "You are right. I'm sorry I had an attitude with you."

"And for what it is worth, I think you are right about Dumbledore. And I know that you will do your all to protect Collin. But I thought that before all of this. You are an exceptional witch and a good auror and I'm proud of the way you handled it in there. Though, I must say: it was a little disconcerting the way you channeled Severus at times."

She smirked, "That was the goal."

"Then you succeeded. It's not easy to be keep your composure when you are being reprimanded like that. Well done, Paddy."

"Thank you." She looked at him, then bit her lip and went over to give him a hug. "I am sorry I railed at you a bit."

"No worries," Remus hugged her tightly and then pulled her away, searching her eyes, "Are you prepared for what is to come if you continue on with this relationship?"

"I think this is all being blown out of proportion."

Lupin looked grave, "I think you should heed Robards' words, Paddy. Think long and hard about this relationship. I'm not telling you to end it, but think long and hard about what you want for your future."

"I will."

"Good, go on now. You need to get back." Remus said, and pushed her towards the door.

"I do, but I have one more stop to make first."

Remus titled his head, "What type of stop?"

"A favor from a friend," she said, vaguely.

Lupin shook his head, wearily. "Tell Mr. Malfoy, I said hello."

"I will," she smiled at Lupin. "And remember to give Teddy that kiss from his godmother."

"Of course," Lupin waved her off with a smile.

* * *

"Draco," Sarah knocked on his door to his office at the ministry. "do you have a moment for me?"

Draco looked up from his pile of papers. His jaw dropped, "Black, what are _you_ doing here?"

Sarah hugged her arms against her, "you don't by any chance have coffee in here?"

"Coffee?" he smirked, "This coffee obsession has become a thing for you, hasn't it?"

"I guess we have finally reached adulthood," she smiled back at him.

"Come on in," He gestured her in, "I'll call my assistant for some."

"Thanks. I can't believe you have an office _and_ an assistant!" she sat down in a chair in front of his desk.

"Perks of being a Malfoy I suppose," he messaged his assistant.

"Must be nice," she said, fiddling with her necklace, causing Draco to study her more carefully, aware of her tell-tale sign of nervousness, one that she never bothered to hide in front of him. "You remember my little cubicle."

"I do…it's quite…quaint," Draco smiled at her, trying to put her at ease, "cozy."

Sarah chuckled. "Indeed."

Two minutes later two steaming cups appeared along with a jar of sugar and a cup of milk.

"Milk and sugar still?" Draco asked, "I didn't want to presume you wanted something different."

"That's fine," she smiled, "But you don't have to fix it for me," she said as Draco poured some milk and sugar in one cup.

"I don't mind," he said, as he stirred. "Although I suppose I should have asked you and then told my assistant what you wanted. That would have been the Malfoy way of doing things."

"It would have been," she said as he handed her the mug, "but this way is also nice. Thank you, Draco."

She sat back down and cradled the mug in her hands, leaning forward slightly.

"Now, Black," Draco put his hands on his desk, pushing himself up, before walking around the side to sit in the chair next to her, "What are you doing here?"

Sarah took a sip and then smoothed down the skirt of the dress and then fiddled with the belt, "Robards and Lupin called me in for a _conversation."_

"That sounds quite ominous."

"Well, it certainly wasn't pleasant."

"Was it about your relationship with the MP?" Draco asked, his voice even.

She choked on her coffee, extending her arm to put it down on his desk without getting up, "How did you know about that?"

"Snape came to see me last night, of course," he responded as he put his own cup down magically.

She was taken aback by his attitude as if it was completely obvious that Snape would come to him. "What? Why would he do that?"

"To warn me before the _Daily Prophet_ came out," Draco told her, "didn't you know that they would pick up the story from the muggle papers? It's quite the roar here."

"I didn't realize you read the newspaper now," Sarah frowned.

"You aren't the only one who has reached adulthood," Draco shot back. "And he may be your father, but he is still my godfather. I don't know why you would be so surprised that he would be considerate enough to let me know that my ex-wife is now…" he paused, "what did they call it? _romantically entangled_ with a muggle."

"That sounds scandalous. It isn't scandalous."

"Of course it is, Black."

"You are being just as dramatic as Robards and Lupin were."

"He's a high profile muggle and you are a witch. You are lucky Robards and Lupin just reamed you out and didn't take your fucking wand."

"They can't take my wand for something like this," she argued. "And they know it."

"If they think you are compromising the security of our world, they damn well can."

"He knows about our world."

"It's not him they are concerned about…it is the press…the general public."

"I can be careful. Andi was."

"Aunt Andi is different. You have enemies, Sarah," Draco's voice was low. "Here in this very ministry…enemies willing to exploit this situation for your harm. You need to be careful."

"I'm not important enough to have those kinds of enemies," she retorted.

"Are you mad?" Draco's jaw dropped again, "You were hated among the death eaters."

"And they lost," Sarah retorted, "they have scattered."

" _Some_ have scattered…others have escaped the notice of the aurors…have kept their allegiance unknown. I don't even know of them."

"I don't think it is quite as dire a situation for me as you are making it out to be. Robards for all his fussing at me, he has my back."

"He does, but what about the others? Robards of all people knows this. Why do you think he sent you away to guard the MP?" Draco grunted, "use your head, Black. you need to keep your head down and do your job, not continue to be the center of public attention. You aren't a celebrity."

"You sound like Snape."

"Well, someone has to give you a dose of reality."

" _Enough_ , Malfoy," she snapped.

Draco froze and then his tone became icier, "What can I do for you, Sarah?" his tone became professional.

She stood back up, "Thanks for the coffee, Draco."

"Don't do that," Draco pointed his finger at her, gesturing towards the chair, "Sit back down."

She glared at him, "You can't just order me about, Draco Malfoy."

"It's my office."

Her fingers twitched for her wand, but Draco jumped up to catch her fingers in his. The connection was as if a jolt of electricity coursed through her. And she knew he felt it too because he dropped her fingers almost immediately.

"Sit, please," he amended, his tone easing.

"I'm not going to sit if you are going to act so angry with me."

"Don't whine. I have every right to be angry."

"We are divorced, Draco. You divorced us. I can choose who I move on with."

"But a muggle?" Draco threw up his hands, "Snape thinks you are going to leave it all. Run away from our world just like your mother. That is if they don't force you out before."

"Did he say that?" Sarah's voice caught.

"No, he didn't have to. He's my godfather. I know him well enough to read between the lines."

"He hasn't even met Collin."

"He doesn't have to," Draco retorted, "Snape will never support you leaving your magic behind."

"I know Snape too," Sarah's voice lowered, "and I trust him to want what is best for me."

"If you say," Draco shook his head. "I just doubt that he will think _this_ is what is best for you no matter how good you think the MP is."

They were silent for a few moments because Sarah knew that Draco probably was right.

Draco sighed loudly, sitting back down and then rubbed his eyes, "I'm sorry, Black. I know you must have had a rough morning with Robards and I just added to it. It was selfish of me."

"No, Draco," Sarah slid back in the chair and then put her elbows on her knee, " _I_ am sorry. I shouldn't have come."

"Why did you?"

She ran her hand through the ends of her hair, "You aren't going to like it."

"Hm," Draco grunted, "Don't stop now, Black."

"I was hoping you could arrange a meeting with your father for me."

"My father?" Draco frowned, "that's _really_ not a good idea."

"I need to talk to someone who would know information about how prisoners were treated under Voldemort and Snape wasn't in charge of a lot of that…your father was right in the middle of it. He would know. I have questions."

"Questions?" Draco sighed, "Is this about Kate?"

She stilled, "Draco. Do _you_ know about Kate?"

"I lied before, Sarah," Draco's voice lowered significantly. "Snape just didn't come to warn me. He figured it out."

"He figured _what_ out?"

"I gave the missing page in Collin's file to George to give to you."

"The missing page?" Sarah turned towards him, "I don't understand. How did you get that?'

"Oh, Sarah," Draco gave a short laugh, "Who exactly do you think arranged for you to go guard Collin Stevens in the first place? He fed it to Robards as a way to keep you safe from the fallout with the Dark Lord and being his heir, but really he had quite the ulterior motives for suggesting it."

"Oh Merlin!" Sarah jumped up, "your damn father. He is always causing trouble! What is his playing at? Does he just want to emotionally torture me or is it something else?"

Draco lifted up his hands, "I have no idea, Black. But you meeting with him right now is a bad idea."

"I don't think so," she crossed her arms, "I think it is a really great idea."

"Sarah," Draco stood and then put his hands on her arms, "I don't want to hurt your feelings but you are out of your league here. You can't handle my father. He will destroy you."

She shook her head, "No, I'm not out of my league, Draco. And he can try to destroy me. But he won't succeed." she straighten her spine. "I was raised by Severus Snape. I was raised to handle men like him. I'm an auror now and I'm telling you. He won't succeed."

"Are you sure you want to talk to my father?" Draco asked, one more time.

"I need answers."

"You?" Draco challenged, "or Collin Stevens?"

"Does it matter?"

"Maybe not," Draco said, "but what if my father tells you horrendous things that happened to Kate while the Dark Lord's prisoner? What will you say?"

"The truth," she said, quietly, "I promised him the truth."

"Why would you do such a stupid thing as that when you have no idea what the truth contains?"

She didn't quite meet his eyes and then he knew. He took a step back from her.

"It's more than just a shag, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Snape said you are involved…he didn't say…he didn't lead on it was so… _serious._ "

"You are his godson, but I am his daughter. And he would never betray a confidence like that to you."

"So you are in love with the muggle?"

Her hands shook as her throat felt dry. She keenly was aware of how much she was hurting him in this moment and it literally tore her heart in two.

"It was bad enough to think of you shagging him, but _this_."

"You said we should move on…date other people."

"Date. I just didn't expect so soon…" he looked up, almost panicked, "you aren't marrying him, are you?"

"We haven't talked about that."

"But would you?" he pressed.

She was quite for a few moments, the tension in the room high, before replying in a strained voice, "Yes. Yes, I would."

More silence.

"Draco, say something," Sarah whispered.

"I'll arrange the meeting with my father for you, Black."

She closed her eyes briefly, her heart beating quickly, "Thank you." She tapped at the coffee cup, "And thanks for the coffee."

"Anytime. I'll be in touch through Weasley."

"Yes," She nodded, "I need to get back." She gestured her head towards the door.

"Of course, I have loads of work to do myself," he responded, his voice polite, "Goodbye, Sarah."

She stared at him for a moment. He was back at his desk, looking through a pile of papers. She stood at the doorway, just watching him.

"Draco, I am sorry," her voice was hoarse.

He looked up, meeting her eyes. "I've been a fool and lost you, haven't i?"

Her heart tore as she leaned against the door post. The draw towards Draco was always so powerful. "Would it ever change? Or would we still be in the same torturous cycle with your parents?"

He was silent for a moment before swallowing hard and then clearing his throat, coughing a bit, "Take care of yourself, Sarah Grace."

The tears flooded her eyes, she trying to blink them away. "Goodbye, Draco." She turned on her heels, the door clicking behind her.

* * *

"Sarah," Colin waved his hand in front of her.

Sarah jolted and then stared at him, "Were you saying something?"

"Sam wants to know about the press release over the immigration plan. Have you done it yet? We need it by tomorrow afternoon."

"Agh, no," She ran her hand through her hair and then sifted through the files, shifting the ministry ones out of the way to look for her work ones, "Here are the notes. It's not done yet. It's actually not even started. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Collin waved her off.

She anxiously gathered her hair up into a pony tail, "I need a hair tie or something. My hair is driving me nutters these days."

Collin frowned at her but then stood up from his spot and moved across the room to stand behind her spot at his desk in his home office. He reached around her and opened the side desk drawer and pulled out a hair tie. "You left this on my desk the other day."

"Sorry about that," She said.

"You fiddle with your hair when you work," Collin said, putting his hand on her hand which was still hold her hair. She let go and he tied the hair tie around her pony tail. "It's really quite cute."

"I'm glad you think so," she muttered. "I really need a hair cut."

"Why don't you?"

"When would I have time for that?" she asked, grumpily.

He leaned down and kissed her head before reaching around for the file, but Sarah's hand shot up to grab at it, "What are you doing?"

"I can help you with it," Collin offered. "I know you had your meeting. This is not your actual job and if you need help, then I want to help you."

"I wouldn't fight you," she admitted, her shoulders relaxing, "I'm looking at a long night as it is."

"Good, I'm happy to contribute my part to making your night shorter" he said, with a smile as he took the file and moved to the couch. He tossed it on the coffee table. "Unless that is you want to make it longer by other means," he added, casually.

She looked at him, surprised, "I see," her stomach felt like a hundred snitches had flown into it.

"Is that objectionable to you?" he asked, his own surprise evident.

"No, of course not," she said, "it's just…I didn't think you would want to…consider what we learned about Kate."

"I didn't quite feel like it last night," Collin admitted, "but it wasn't because I didn't want to or aren't attracted to you. It just felt…"

"Wrong," she nodded, "I know. I get it, Collin," She reassured him. "It was a shock to both of us."

"And if our goodbye kiss was a little awkwardly done this morning, I am sorry about that too."

She bit her lip, her face flushing, "I was hoping you didn't feel it too, but if Harry noticed the awkwardness I didn't think it boded well."

"Yes, it was pretty obvious," he said, smiling at her, "I think it's just going to take us a bit of time to become settled again. I don't feel guilty about us having a relationship…and a physical one at that. You shouldn't either. Kate is gone. I miss her and I still love her, but she would have liked you, Sarah. And I know I like you…more than that. I love you. So, let's just forge ahead."

"Alright, then," she flushed slightly, "I think I need to get to work then. Then sooner I am done…" she blushed. "Merlin, I don't know why I am blushing."

He smirked, his hand through his dark curls, "I do."

She chucked her pen at him, playfully, him catching it easily. He stood up again, walked over to her, handing her back her pen, kissing her on the shoulder before sitting quietly back down.

She began to work on her ministry files, Collin picking up the research on his immigration policy.

"You have been awfully quiet," Collin said, after a while.

"I'm working," she murmured, "of course I'm quiet."

"No, usually, you work and then make some random comments here and there…interject some snark…some humor. And not only then, you were quiet since you have returned home."

"Okay," she tapped her pen against the desk as her brow furrowed over the file, "your point?"

"Sarah," Collin's voice stopped her fidget, "Look at me."

She pulled her eyes away from her file to look at him across the room. "Yes?"

"Won't you tell me what happened?" his blue eyes bore into hers from across the room, "Or do you just want to stew about it for another hour or two?"

She made a face.

He patted the spot next to him on the couch, "Come sit next to me and let me hold your hand."

"Do you really think that will help?" she asked.

"I know it can't hurt," he retorted, evenly. "We are supposed to be a team, remember?"

"I thought that only meant you were supposed to share what you are feeling with me, not the other way around," She said, fighting a smile.

He chuckled and quirked his finger at her, "Come on over here. You are so far away."

She rose with a sigh and moved to sit with him, folding her leg underneath her. He reached for her hand, kissing it first and then squeezing it, holding it against his knee.

"I'm the one you were worried about emotionally running away. You are doing a fine job of that yourself."

"I think when things get hard, I sometimes put walls up to protect myself," she admitted.

"It's natural with what you have endured," Collin said, "but I don't want you to. If you are hurting, I want to know. You don't have to protect me from what is happening with you."

"How do you know something is happening with me?"

"When you got the missive from your boss, summoning you to the ministry this morning, you were worried."

"I was."

"Why did you blow me off when I asked you if you were?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

He frowned, "Are you still worried?"

"Yeah," She nodded. "I'm sorry if I have been a grump about it."

"Don't worry about that. Just tell me what is going on now. What did your boss say?"

"Our newspapers have picked up the story of you and I at the ball. Given my status in our world and yours and yours, they were shocked that I would even pursue a relationship with you. They pretty much reamed me out for an hour."

"And how did it end?"

"They said they have to think about what to do. I'm under review in the meantime."

"Review?" Collin squeezed her hand, "Why didn't you tell me that when you came home?"

She waved her hand, "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing!" Collin exclaimed. "Sarah!"

"Okay, it's not nothing," Sarah acknowledged, her voice cracking, ducking her head, "Just…"

"I feel awful," Collin tipped her head up, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, please don't. It really wasn't just this. I have made mistakes which lead them to assign me here. And in their perspective I have made more mistakes by initiating a personal relationship with you."

"You didn't initiate."

"Yes, but that's irrelevant." She ran her free hand through the ends of her hair, "Snape is going to have a fit though."

"This doesn't score me points with your Dad, does it?"

She shrugged, "He will like you once he gets to know you."

Collin's frown deepened. "What will you tell him?"

"I will write to him tonight and give it to George to give to him. I'll try to downplay the ministry's disapproval. He'll know, of course, but as long as I'm okay, he'll won't come charging over here or anything. It will buy me time to figure out how to handle this."

"I _do_ want to meet him."

"I want you to meet him too," Sarah said, "but maybe we should allow things to settle a bit. The timing is all wrong especially with what is going on with the ministry and these ramifications. I want Dad to see you in the most positive light, like I see you, but he is so fiercely protective of me…that I think he might not be in the best frame of mind."

"Okay, I'll let you be the judge of when the timing is right." He studied her, "What else is wrong?"

"Isn't that enough?" she laughed, nervously.

"Yes, but there is something else," Collin said, seriously.

She tugged her hand out of his and stood but he reached for her again and tugged her down. He put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close to him, squeezing her against him. "Don't draw away," he whispered in her ear. "Just tell me."

"I saw Draco," she bit her lip, "And…I don't know. It left me…kind of…out of sorts."

"Why did you see Draco?" Collin asked, but there was no judgment in his tone.

"I want to meet with his father to try to find information about Kate for you."

"Is that a good idea?" Collin gently untangled her from him and then turned on the couch to face her, him doing the same. He held out both his hands for her and she took it, their entwined hands resting between them on the sofa.

"Lucius would know the information you are seeking, so yes, I think it is a good idea. I can handle the situation. Don't worry."

"Can you take your father or somebody with you? Harry perhaps?"

"Collin," Sarah responded, "I can handle the situation," she repeated. "I have been trained and I have handled wizards more emotionally manipulative and powerful than him. Actually, I have handled the master of them all."

"Did you actually handle him?" Collin's voice was gentle, but challenging.

"Well, I survived, didn't I?"

"That's true," Collin let out his breath, "Just be careful."

"I will. Draco will set up the meeting."

"Good," he squeezed her hands, "Now, why did meeting Draco unsettle you? Did he say something to you?"

"Nothing in particular," She squeezed his hands back.

"Then why do you feel guilty?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"No, but I can tell…not by the way you look or anything, but by the way you are trying to control your emotions. It's almost as if you become blank in your expressions…aloof almost. It's those walls again."

"That's how I was taught. It's actually a real thing."

"Putting walls up?" he asked, confused.

"Shields, specifically," Sarah clarified, "Wizards…powerful and talented ones can enter your mind. You put shields up to protect your mind from unwanted entry. But a side effect is that you find yourself doing to guard any emotion because those emotions make you vulnerable."

"And your father taught you this?"

"My father was a spy for years, Collin. And it was because he was so good at doing just that. He passed on those talents to me. And I'm good at it. Really good at it. Too good sometimes."

"Were you always like that?"

She shook her head, "I was quite emotional as a young teenager. I got this way because I had to become this way to survive."

"Can you try not to with me?"

"Of course," she nodded.

"Good," he gave her a small smile and then asked, "Did something happen between you and your ex?"

"No," she said, "not really. It's just…" she shifted, uncomfortably. "I feel things when I'm with him."

"You still love him, don't you?" he asked, studying her.

"You have to realize that Draco and I have been drawn together since we were eleven years old. And the pull towards him is…powerful."

"I see," Collin's voice was low. She couldn't read his expression but did feel him stiffen almost inperceptively.

"I will perhaps _always_ feel that pull, but I won't act on it, Collin. I shouldn't act on it….for me and for him. I can't be a part of that family as much as they don't want me apart of that family. I have to be honest with you. I don't know if I will ever stop loving him. My love for him…it's…it's ingrained in me. I really feel like it is a part of me. Nobody really gets it, but when I look at him…I see the boy who comforted me after me after my mum's death and I see than man who put his hand on my belly to feel our child kick. I can't erase that bond."

"I didn't say you should. It's just like I can't erase the bond that I have with Kate. But Kate is…not here…and can never be here…but Draco is. You could still have that future with him if both of you decide that."

"That's debatable given how his family feels about me. But listen to what I'm saying…today was different. My heart was so tangled up today but it wasn't because…" she paused, "it wasn't because I wanted to be with him. It was because I knew I wanted to be with _you_."

Collin didn't say anything, but she knew he felt the power behind her words by his sharp intake of breath. She squeezed his hands again, "And because Draco knows it too, Collin."

"Then he knows that this is serious between us."

"He knows I love you," she said, swallowing hard and he lifted it up to kiss each one of her knuckles causing her to squirm, "and I know it bothered him. And potentially knowing what I would have to give up for this to go further, that _really_ bothers him because it is a testament for how much I do love you. You are the one filling my heart and my mind, not him."

"Wait," Collin shifted, "What do you mean—give up?"

"Draco believes the ministry won't allow a public relationship between the two of us."

"What the hell do they have to do with our personal life?"

"A lot," She admitted, "I'm an auror…a ministry employee, but beyond that…because you are so public in the press and I'm so public in our press, it does create a complication to maintaining the secrecy of our world. We have laws. I could slip…inadvertently and it could be really bad. So, he could be right. The ministry could…I don't know. I don't think they would snap my wand…maybe take it. Or banish me? I'm not sure. I'll probably get sacked."

"Sarah," Collin put his hand on her face, "you are acting so casual about this all. I would never want any of those things to happen to you. I would never want us being together to hurt you so."

"I know," she said, quietly, "and believe me, I'm not going to give up my wand without a fight. If I think it is going to come to that, I'll take measures to keep it safe. And they can't take my magic from me regardless. I can do magic without my wand. I'm just limited."

"Am I worth that for you?" Collin asked, seriously.

"You are," she said, adamantly, "we do have decisions to make when it comes down to it and I hope you can help me through some of those…"

"I'll do my best," he nodded.

"but what I know right now…and how I feel right now…is that when I thought yesterday that you were going to break up with me because of my involvement in Kate's death, that tore my heart in two. My heart is in this, Collin. And that scares me, but it also excites me."

"You don't have to be scared of that. I told you that last night. I won't hurt you…my heart is in this too. You are special, do you know that?" he kissed her hand again.

"I've been told that from time to time," she joked, winking at him.

"There's that humor," He laughed and then leaned over to kiss her, passionately. She responded to him immediately.

He reluctantly pulled away, "Are you sure you have an all nighter ahead of you?"

"If you help me with the press release, I think we can spare a few minutes."

He laughed, "Is that all the time you think it would take?"

"No," she laughed more, "I just mean…we can make it short if you want."

"What do you want?"

She reached and took a sip of water before standing and then tugging him up to stand. She stood on her tip toes to whisper in his ear, "I want to forget about all of this…just for a moment…and the only thing I want to think about…is how good it feels when you make me come completely undone in your arms. Then I want to lie there, my head against your chest and listen to your heart beat, so shattered by you I can barely move. And I want to know that I have done the same to you."

"I believe that can be arranged," Collin's voice was deep and full of emotion and longing.

She reached to massage her fingers through his short curls and then dropped them and took his face in her hands, leaning over and pulling his face towards her. "And Collin, I want _you_ now," she said, firmly. "Robards can wait for his damn report."

"You have spunk, Sarah Grace," Collin said, his voice low, his eyes not leaving hers.

"Wait until it is directed at you, boss," she drawled.

"I look forward to it. I'm up for the challenge," he told her.

"Oh are you?"

"Indeed, I am.

"Then you can wait for your own damn press release too," she told him.

"Hush," he growled and in a swoop, he lifted her up in his arms, Sarah squealing in response, but he silenced her with a kiss, her responding with a passion of her own.

* * *

"I've been thinking," Collin said, as Sarah laid with her head against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart beat.

"When have you had time to think?" she demanded as she ran her fingers through the hairs on his chest.

"Certainly not before now," Collin massaged her scalp with his fingers, "You demanded my full attention."

"Demanded?" Sarah winced, "that makes me sound like…"

"An enchanting, captivating, sensual woman…one who just looks at me and I am completely enthralled."

She smiled against his chest, sighing, "You say the sweetest things to me. I just want to know how you aren't as shattered as I am. I can barely move let alone think."

He laughed. "I'm glad I did my role in all of this well, love. As did you, I just feel more energized that usual."

"Okay, well, don't keep me in anticipation…what are you thinking about?"

"I don't really need to know about Kate, Sarah. I don't think you should meet with Draco's father."

Sarah's head shot up, "What? No, Collin. I can handle Lucius Malfoy. You need this information to find closure. You just said that last night."

"Yes, but I can't be selfish. And if it puts you in a potentially harmful situation, I don't want that."

"I know you haven't ever seen me in a dangerous situation, but I'm trained for certain situations. And Malfoy wouldn't dare actually harm me."

"He can harm you emotionally," Collin said, gently.

Sarah sat up more and reached for her robe, "You don't believe I'm strong enough to handle this. Are you listening to me?"

"Sarah, you aren't listening to me," Collin retorted. "I'm willing to let this go for you."

"And I don't want you to," she retorted, passionately. "I'm not scared of Lucius Malfoy," she reached for her robe, tying it, "I can't believe you don't think I am capable of handling this situation. God, Collin, I'm supposed to be protecting you. What do you think is going to happen if those wizards act on those threats? Have you ever thought of that? Do you trust me to be able to protect you?"

"Of course I do," Collin shot back.

"Then act like that!" Sarah snapped, sliding off the bed, "I'm seeing Lucius. It has already been arranged. I'm getting you this information so it can't come up later and put a wedge in our relationship. I want _us_ to be able to move forward. And finding this missing piece about Kate will allow us to," she turned around at the entrance to the doorway, "I have work to do."

* * *

"A peace offering," Collin said, sliding a cup of tea on the desk next to her, "Earl Grey, sugar and milk. And a biscuit for you. We can order take away for dinner tonight…you choose. I would have made you coffee but you are already too hyped as it is."

She continued to study her files, but looked up when she saw Collin stack up her files, move them aside so he could sit on the edge of the desk across from her.

"What is it?" she asked, tapping her pen on the desk.

"For one, I wasn't implying that you can't handle the situation, Sarah. It was because I love you that I don't want you to _have_ to handle it. There is a difference. And I know there might come a time when you have to defend my life…and I believe you will, but it kills me to think that you could be harmed or killed in the process, not because you aren't a powerful witch, because from what I have been told by Harry, George, Robards and everybody else I have talked to, you are a force to be reckoned with…it wouldn't be because of that…it would be because you are outnumbered or that you sacrifice your life for mine. And I think of that fact every day you are with me with these threats unresolved. But I do believe in you. And if you are telling me that you can handle this meeting with Malfoy and that you think I and we need it to truly move on, then by all means, go. I just wanted to give you the option of not…because again, I love you. And just as much as you want to sacrifice for me, I want to sacrifice for you. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

Sarah stared at him for another moment, then her face crumpled, "I'm so sorry. I've been in such a mood today."

"It's understandable," Collin put his finger under her chin, lifting it up so she looked at him again, "I'm sorry for all of this. Truly, Sarah, I am. I should have waited until the threats were resolved and you were free to date me."

"I didn't want you to wait, though," she said, "And I entered this relationship knowing it could have ramifications for my work. It's that I simply don't care. For the first time, I see a future for me and it's not a future that fills me with dread. It's a future I'm excited about."

Collin rubbed his finger underneath her chin, "I'm excited by it too, Sarah Black."

She grinned, "I'm so glad you hear you say it."

"Go, talk to Malfoy and lets get the information we need so we can both work to heal. No more secrets here. You are right about that. We don't need something that will drive us apart later on…or that people can hold over us."

She wiped at her tears. "Good."

"Now that is settled, how is the work coming along?"

She grimaced. "Well, it's clear Robards is punishing me through his assignment. It's tedious…and poorly organized which makes it even more tedious work."

"Fancy another break?"

She laughed, "we just took one."

"And you were such in a good mood, dear," Collin moved his finger down her neck, "until I opened my bloody mouth."

"That's quite true," Sarah nodded.

Collin dropped his hand, "Okay, then. Trade places with me."

"Why?" she looked at him, suspiciously.

"Do you have to question every damn thing?" Collin asked, teasingly.

"I am an auror. That's kind of what I do," she grinned back.

"And there is such a thing as trust," Collin said, with a gleam in his eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Sarah put her hands on the desk and forced herself up, switching places with Collin so she was sitting on the edge of the desk and he was on the chair. "Yes?" she asked.

He rolled closer to her, "And now I'm aiming to relax you again and get you into the right frame of mind to finish all those tedious reports….but not before you are damn well pleased with me."

"And just how to you aim to do that?" she asked as he fiddled with the hem of her robe, hiking it up. "Oh Merlin…" she groaned as his answer became clear. And he was right. After he was finished she was damn well pleased with him and in a much better mood to tackle the reports.

A/N: Please review. :) And up next: Sarah meets with Lucius Malfoy and the threats materialize against Collin.


	18. Chapter 18

**The choice:**

"Would you like a drink?" Lucius Malfoy poured brandy out of his decanter into two tumblers and then sat behind his desk in the library.

He wandlessly sent her the tumbler of brandy and gestured for her to sit.

"Does it bother you to sit in here?" he asked, casually, taking a sip, his long fingers around the glass.

She took her own gulp of brandy, choking only slightly on it, "No," her tone was impassive.

"Really," he swirled the liquid in his glass, "After all those intimate encounters with the Dark Lord in this very room, you have no qualms?"

She shrugged and then smiled sweetly at him, "Actually, Draco and I had far more intimate encounters in this room if you must know."

"Is that quite so?" Lucius coughed slightly.

"Oh yes," She nodded, "and those memories by far outweigh the memories of what happened with the Dark Lord in here."

"Funny, I wouldn't think you so immune to his torture. You are far more like Severus than I have given you credit for," he said.

"I will take that as the highest compliment," she drawled. She raised her glass in the air as if to toast Snape and then took another sip, her eyes never leaving his.

He raised his eyebrows at her challenge, "Let us cease with the pleasantries, dear."

"Very well," Sarah drained her glass, "I need information."

"Information?" Lucius twined his hands, "of what nature?"

"Voldemort made you in charge of the prisoners during his reign."

"Is this about the mudblood wife of your lover?" Lucius tsked, shaking his head in mock sorrow, "You are in an awful quandary with that one."

Sarah leaned forward, "And don't think I don't know your role in that."

"I didn't force you to his bed, my dear. You did that all on your own. I knew it wouldn't take you long."

"But I wager it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to," she responded.

"You have little idea of how I want it to turn out," Lucius said, silkily, "now, do you?"

"What does that mean?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"It means, you don't understand my end goals," he said.

"I don't care about your end goals," Sarah smoothed down her skirt, then looked up at him, squarely, "Do your worst," she challenged, boldly.

"You, my dear, have no idea what you are asking for." He stood and moved over to her side, pulling her up by the arm. He leaned closely to whisper in her ear, his breath hot against her cheek, "I know my son still has feelings for you. You are like a curse that he simply cannot counter. You have plagued him so my only choice…my only recourse…is to see you far away. I will not kill you, darling girl. I know too much of Severus's adoration for you to risk my life, but I will make it my life's goal for you to never…ever…influence my son again."

"You act like your son has no choices," She covered his hand which was still gripping her arm and forcibly tugged it away from her, "That he is some puppet in your show. If your son is drawn to me, it because I have NEVER tried to control him. I respect him for the man he is…"

"You tried to change him," Lucius retorted, his eyes narrowing.

"No, that is not true! I always have respected him, even in those dark moments. I listen to him. I try to support him. If you think it is I who drove him away from you, then think again. It has been _you_. You may have him in this manor, doing what you want him to do, but you are going to lose him anyway and it will have…" she smacked at his hand which had came up again, "nothing to do with me."

In a swift movement, his hands gripped her arms, and then moved to pin her against the back of the desk. Sarah's hand reached for her wand, but it flung out of her grasp, flying in the air, hitting the bookcases and landing on the carpet.

"You will stay out of his affairs," he said, using his foot dragging it up her leg to lift her skirt.

She cringed.

"Oh, you don't like that, do you?" there was amusement in his eyes. "You who boldly stood up to the Dark Lord, you aren't immune to fear after all, are you?" He reached to grasp her breast, startling her.

"Get your filthy hands off of me, now!" She grunted.

"You are in no position to order me," he said. "You lost your wand. It quite slipped out of your hand. Now tell me, what type of witch can't hold on to her wand? Perhaps, you are too out of practice living with that muggle of yours," his hand released her breast, opting to slip up her skirt instead. "How are you going to protect him if you can't even protect yourself?"

A nonverbal, wandless spell later and Lucius was on his back, her wand back in her hand. The action caused a duel, back and forth between the two of them, both of their tempers lost…even Lucius's steady temper had dissipated in a fury. She held her own, true to the most promising auror of her class, but then…her lack of training and time away from the wizarding world compromised her and she was the one on her back and at his mercy. And it was then she found out exactly why both Draco and Collin were worried about her confronting Lucius.

* * *

Harry had started pacing when Sarah didn't show up after an hour. Collin was worried himself, but tried to steady his emotions and work on his speech revisions.

Finally Harry turned to him and said, frankly, "We need to involve Severus if she doesn't show up in twenty minutes."

Collin frowned, "She assured me she could handle him."

Harry patted down his hair with his free hand, "Well," he said, slowly, then stopped, then began again, "She is a bloody good witch."

"Why do I sense a but?" Collin rose.

"She is out of practice staying here with you. She hasn't dueled since she has been here…and to be frank with you, the ministry sped us through the auror academy. She has the talent- Voldemort was right in that regard, but unfortunately talent doesn't mean you will be successful every time against his death eaters. She was counting on the fact that she didn't think Lucius would use magic against her, but then I am never sure we can underestimate Lucius Malfoy. He did weasel himself out of Azkaban for the second time in his lifetime."

"But surely he realizes there would be repercussions for harming Sarah."

"Yes," Harry responded slowly, "but there is a lot who may question Sarah's motives in going there and if she said she went there on behalf of you…well, that's problematic given who you are and what her job is. She hasn't involved the ministry in this. She is trying to circumvent the system and that could allow for problems. Not to mention Lucius has a strong position of influence in the ministry. There are more who would believe his word over hers."

"That's ludicrous," Collin was aghast, "I think we should call Sarah's father now."

Harry looked conflicted.

"What?!"

"Well, Severus isn't going to be too happy that she risked her arse for you."

"It doesn't matter!" Collin exclaimed.

"Doesn't it though?" Harry asked evenly, but with another worry shuffle of his hair, "Give her time. That's what she would want."

"Potter!" A voice magnified through the air. "Potter, help!"

"Oh shit, that's Malfoy!" Harry stormed out of the room without another word and into the yard, Draco standing with Sarah curled in his arms behind the invisible wards.

"Malfoy!" Harry waved his wand, giving Draco entry.

"She wanted to come here," Draco said, "she insisted."

"Sarah!" Collin's voice echoed through the yard as Harry took Sarah into his arms, bringing him into the house, Draco following and Collin falling helplessly behind.

"What is wrong with her?"

"We need a bed," Harry said.

"She has been sleeping in mine. Upstairs," Collin said. "What else do you need?"

"Nothing you have here," Draco retorted, "but she insisted and after what happened, I couldn't tell her no."

Harry took Sarah up the stairs and eased her down into Collin's bed and then sat down, gripped her hands, leaned his forehead against hers and proceed to talk to her in low tones, that only sounded like mumbles to the rest of them before Harry straighten up.

"She's protecting you, Malfoy," He turned to look squarely at Draco, "Merlin knows if it has something to do with you, she'll never budge. Do you know what happened?"

"You had told Kreacher to guard the room and come to me if things got out of hand. He said that they had gotten into a duel and that Father…well, he…disarmed her…and then…"

"What?!" Harry insisted, waving a hand at him, "Don't you dare try to protect _him_ , Malfoy."

"I'm just as disgusted as you are…but…Father says will just tell the ministry that Sarah started the duel and after the cruciatus what followed was consensual."

"Consensual?" Collin's voice was horrified. "Did he rape her?"

"Yes, that is precisely what I would like to know," Severus drawled from the entranceway. "Move out of my way _all three of you_ if you value your limbs. Of all the hairbrained, idiotic schemes…"

"You called Snape," Harry turned to Draco, his eyes wide.

"I sent Kreacher right away for Snape. We need potions. He is a potion master and Sarah needs her father."

"Of course, she does," Harry snapped, "I was just hoping for some warning so we could figure out how to tell him so he doesn't bring out his blasted ruler."

"Don't tempt me, Potter," Severus turned to him to look over his shoulder as he moved to sit on the bed, "You may be savior of our damn world, but some Slytherin discipline would do you a world of good…I don't care how old you are."

"It was my idea," Sarah whispered, "Harry was just trying to help."

"I know," he murmured, soothingly, "and don't think I am beyond it with you, little girl. I'm livid right now. I have half a mind to insist you move back home so I can keep you under my watch until I am convinced you are mature enough to live and work on your own."

"Don't scold so."

"Oh, believe me, I am only getting started," Severus retorted, taking her pulse, "but I will defer my displeasure until after you tell me what happened."

"Are you that angry?"

"I said I am livid, Sarah Grace," Sev snapped, "and since when did you doubt me at my word?"

She moaned, opting to redirect attention, "I need the potions."

Severus took both her hands in his, "Yes, you do. But first, you must talk to me. What happened with Lucius?"

"We exchanged words and then dueled and he unarmed me and then he…" she glanced at Collin, who was white faced.

"Look at me, not at them," Severus said, his voice firm, "What did he do?"

"He didn't rape me. He didn't get that far…but there were a round of cruciatus, a few hitting curses and he did…touch me…inappropriately, but he didn't have time to quite…succeed…fully before Draco came."

"I see," Severus reached into his bag and flipped through his potions, pulling out a vial, "I'd say you are fortunate then."

"Fortunate?" Collin's voice was hoarse.

Severus turned his head in a fury, "Do not presume to judge things you cannot understand."

"Dad, it's not Collin's fault."

"You went for him! It is precisely his fault! And Draco's for arranging it and Harry's for going along with it and most of all, yours to not use the good sense I spent _years_ trying to instill in you! I blame all of you!"

"He told me I didn't have to…"

"It's okay, Sarah," Collin's voice was low, "He's your father and he has every right to be upset to see you in this condition."

"Damn right I do," Severus snapped, uncorking the vial, "It's bad enough that you are in this job every single day, but when you work outside the system in truly foolish endeavors, it is then that you should expect my wrath. Now _drink_."

Draco and Harry exchanged a look. Snape's displeasure unleashed was frightening indeed…it didn't matter how old you were, with one look Snape could instill a level of fear unmatched to any other professor…or parent.

"Dad," Sarah drank the potion, "I'll be fine."

"Will you?" Severus inquired, his voice low, "Lucius apparently feels no inhibitions about touching you. He thinks he is above the reach of the ministry and do you know what it frightens me the most? It is that he is precisely so. He has proved that time and again. He has had it out for you for the past two years. And you should have known that."

She groaned again, her muscles clenching, and Severus turned to Collin, "Where are her nightclothes?" He paused and then added dryly, "Nothing too revealing."

"For Merlin's sake, Dad," Sarah blushed, "I don't have lingerie here."

"Only because it has been two days since you started shagging him," Draco mumbled and Harry elbowed him hard in the side, "Merlin, Potter."

"Boys!" Snape snapped. "Enough!"

Collin walked over to his dresser and pulled out a white Wimbledon t-shirt and pair of black yoga pants.

"What is _that_?" Draco asked.

"A tennis tournament," Harry explained, then at Draco's confused look, went on to clarify, "there are two players with rackets and hit a ball back and forth over a net."

"Charming," Draco grunted and Severus shot him a scathing warning, clearing his throat to suggest, "Why don't you and Potter go downstairs and make yourselves useful. Tea and toast."

Harry and Draco left and Severus stood himself, "Since I know already you and Sarah have an…" he paused and Sarah shot him a horrified look, "intimate relationship, though I am not entirely comfortable with the fact especially since there is no commitment of any sorts between the two of you…"

"Dad! That's bloody hypocritical of you! You have been sleeping with Andi for months now!" Sarah protested, but Severus held up his hand, "I'm older than you…and clearly a whole lot wiser tin my decision making processes than you are…that much has been made abundantly clear today. Regardless, I don't believe I was addressing you, now was I?"

"You should be!" Sarah glared at him.

"You would not want me to address you right now, Sarah Grace. I have words for you…several in fact. And rest assured, those words will not be left unsaid, but I have to get a stable grasp on my temper do to so." His hand rested lightly on her wrist, "in the meantime, I would suggest you save your strength instead of being so argumentative."

"Me?" she shot back, trying to sit up but then ended falling back against the pillow. "Damn, I'm so sore."

"I can only imagine," Snape responded, dryly and but then turned back to Collin, "would you help her get undressed? I'll wait outside the door until you are done."

"Of course, I'd be happy to" Collin said, evenly. He waited until Severus shut the door, but left a crack open, sending the clear message that he was watching them.

"Your father is quite displeased," Collin said, helping Sarah sit up and then began to unbutton her blouse. "I thought your stories were exaggerated."

"Not hardly," Sarah muttered, "I really wished Draco didn't call him."

Collin paused his unbuttoning to reach for her hand, kissing it gently, "You want him here. I know you do."

She nodded. "I do, even with the scolding and the bad temper…and it's hard because I know it is entirely deserved. But are you okay? I was hoping you could meet Dad under better circumstances."

"It isn't ideal." He frowned, "I'm afraid your father is quite put out with me."

"He is quite put out with all of us," Sarah bit her lip, watching Collin's fingers as he continued to unbutton. "He isn't used to not being in control of my life either. It's been an adjustment between us this past year. I'm sorry if he is coming in and taking control in your own home."

"He's not really. He is just trying to take care of you," Collin paused and then gasped, "Sarah, your neck is red and your breasts." He gently ran his hand against the marks, "Does it hurt?"

She took his hand off of her, squeezing it, tightly, "I am fine, Collin. A few days, that's all it will take."

"Arms up," Collin instructed, pulling the t-shirt over her head and through her arms. He helped her out of her skirt and into her pajama pants. He leaned his forehead on hers for a moment, "Sarah," he breathed, "I…I don't know what to say to you or to him. I feel so guilty about all of this."

She leaned back and gripped his face, "This is not your fault. It is mine. You told me not to go. I should have listened to you over my pride. And I am paying for and will pay the consequences. It was a lapse in good judgment to meet Lucius alone. Dad is right to be upset with me. I do know better."

"He's really not going to get the ruler out, is he?" Collin asked.

"Years of experience has taught me to never underestimate Snape's fatherly wrath," She gave him a small smile, "Or his protective nature. If he thought it would make me thing harder about these decisions, I wouldn't doubt that he would try."

"You do know in muggle circles, it is completely inappropriate at your age…some say at any age."

Sarah flicked his cheek, "Relax, Collin. Snape is just an old school wizard. He and Voldemort and all the other death eaters. If Voldemort had won, believe me, I would certainly be punished severely for any of these miscalculations and it wouldn't be a few smacks on the hand."

"Still…" Collin frowned, "he can't just smack you with a ruler when you are fully an adult…"

"He can if I let him," She countered.

"But why would you?" Collin asked, aghast.

She bit her lip, "It's hard to explain."

"Try," Collin insisted.

"I respect Snape's judgement. And we have a sort of rapport. He censures me…sometimes physically…and we work through it…and a lot of time, it is what I need to sort through my motivations and really get to the heart of the matter," she laughed then, "Let's be honest, Collin. I really would try the patience of a saint these days. And Snape is certainly not a saint. I have done a lot this year and he has been really gracious to me, but I think this is the end of his neutrality. If Snape feels the need for some fatherly censure, no matter what my age, I accept that judgement on his part."

"I don't understand," he said, his frown deepening, but Snape had knocked on the door at that moment.

"Come on in, Dad. I'm dressed."

She leaned forward briefly to whisper quickly in his ear, "You don't have to understand, but you have to trust me."

Collin gave her a brief nod and rose to let Severus sit on his spot.

"Roll over, Sarah Grace, I can tell you are clenching your back."

She rolled onto her stomach and Snape began to massage her back, murmuring incantations as he did as Collin watched by her side curiously.

"He's spelling healing into the muscles of my back," Sarah explained, reading his look perfectly. "It is meant to relax the tension caused from the cruciatus."

"What exactly is the cruciatus?" Collin asked.

"Something I hope you never encounter," Harry said, carrying a tray, followed by Draco.

"It's called an unforgivable curse for a reason," Draco offered. "it has caused many wizards to go insane the pain is so intense."

"And your father used it on Sarah?" Collin was aghast.

"Collin," Sarah looked at him, "Draco doesn't condone Lucius's behavior, especially not with me."

Harry handed the tray to Snape who put it on the table and poured her a cup of tea, "Thank you, Potter," Snape nodded at him.

"I boiled the kettle, Uncle Sev," Draco declared.

"Very gallant of you, Mr. Malfoy," Sarah smiled at him, taking the cup from Severus and sipping it carefully.

"Yes, indeed. Thank you, Draco," Severus responded.

"What are we going to do about Lucius Malfoy, sir?" Harry asked Severus, crossing his arms.

"I will take care of it," Severus announced, calmly.

"No," Sarah jolted up and then winced, "Oh, Merlin," she gasped as the pain intensified, reaching for her leg.

Severus quietly handed Harry the cup of tea and pulled back the blanket, "Where?"

"Here," She grimaced.

"Shhh," Severus hushed her as his hand kneaded her muscle.

"I hate this," she twisted away.

"Breathe, Sarah," Draco spoke up from across the room, "Stop twisting away from it. In through your nose. Out through your mouth." HIs voice was soothing and tender, but he made no move to step towards her.

Harry's mouth opened up in shock when Draco's instructions relaxed her enough for Snape to work through the cramp, but Draco shrugged, "She had horrible leg cramps when she was pregnant with Orion."

"Thanks Malfoy," Sarah gave him another small smile. He nodded. She then reached for Snape's large hand, "Dad, please."

"We will discuss this later," Snape said, "After you rest."

"You are just going to discuss it with them," Sarah pointed to the others, "and do what you want. You are going to end in Azkaban."

He patted her shoulder and rose, "I assure you I won't."

"Dad!"

"Rest," Severus pushed her back onto the bed, "Now."

"But…" her voice turned panicked.

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," Collin offered.

"But…" she took a breath. "Dad, promise me."

"I will make no such promises," Snape said, "Go to sleep."

"Snape!"

"Black," he pushed her back again, "I will charm you to the damn bed. Now go to sleep!"

She knew she shouldn't give up that easily, but she really as physically and emotionally spent. She rolled over onto her stomach.

Collin moved to sit next to her on the bed, but Severus held out his hand. "Wait a moment, please."

Snape leaned over Sarah and kissed her head. "Clear your mind, little girl."

"It's racing," she admitted.

"I know," Snape smoothed down her hair, "and so this is when you need the discipline of mind that I have tried to instill in you. You are capable of it."

She struggled but then managed to guard her mind.

"Good," Snape patted her back before gesturing Collin to pass. Snape cleared his throat and pushed Harry and Draco out of the room with him.

Collin moved to lay down with her and Sarah turned, curling up against him, letting out a moan of pain at her movement.

"Are you in pain?" Collin asked, his brow creasing in worry.

"Yes," She said, "but it's to be expected."

"Sarah," Collin put his arm around her, "Do you need to talk about what happened?"

She licked her dry lips, "No, I don't think so."

"Are you quite certain?"

"Yes."

"Will you tell me if and when you do want to talk about it? You were attacked today and I don't want us to gloss over that fact."

"Of course," she said, yawning. "I am going to be a goner in a few minutes."

He fiddled with her hair, "That's good. You need rest to recover."

"Collin?" she reached out for his hand and the placed it against her chest.

"Yes, love?"

"She was roughed up a bit, but she wasn't raped."

"How do you know that?" Collin didn't move his hand away from her.

"When he was about to…well…he got talkative. Said they didn't want to pollute themselves by shagging the mother of a muggleborn. Me, on the other hand, I was the blood traitor whore they all wanted….more so that the Dark Lord put me off limits for all except Draco."

His quick intake of breath was sharp.

She squeezed his hand and pulled it closer against her, "Stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," he said. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Collin was halfway down the stairs when he could hear the other men's voices, tense with worry and anger.

"You can't just bloody go over there, Severus," Harry entreated. "We don't know what his end game is."

"We do know his end game, Potter," Malfoy retorted. "He wants her gone."

"What is his obsession with her anyway?"

"He is worried that," Severus looked over to see Collin standing in the doorway, "Sarah will continue to be an…influence…in Draco's life. He sees the tension in his family, the division as starting with Sarah."

"And did it?" Collin spoke up.

Draco turned to Collin, "Yes. No. It doesn't matter."

"Draco is right. What matters is where we are now. Lucius has a vendetta against Sarah. It is a very real possibility that he is behind the threats against you as a way to drive Sarah out of our world."

"That he manipulated this all?" Collin asked, aghast.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Severus said. "I'm going to find out."

Harry took a step forward, "You can't just…go there."

"I can take care of myself. You stay with Sarah. She will sleep most of the night. If she wakes, I left potions on the side of the bed. She knows what to do."

"I am coming with you," Draco said, firmly, "And I am not taking no for an answer."

Snape nodded. "Come along then."

"Be careful," Harry said, worried.

"Your concern is touching," Snape said, dryly.

"I am concerned," Harry retorted, "for Sarah's sake…" he paused, "and my own. Oh, sod off."

"Watch it," Severus snapped, but then softened, "Never fear, Harry. I have no intention on leaving this earth any time soon. And I have successfully handled Lucius Malfoy for years."

"I know," Harry nodded.

"Take care of Sarah," Severus turned to Collin. "And be on alert. We don't know what we are facing."

"We will," Harry assured him. "Go on."

After the men left, Harry turned to Collin, "So that's Snape."

Collin groaned, "I have my work cut out for me, don't I?"

Harry patted him on the arm, "That you do. Good luck, mate. Don't worry. It only took Snape eight years to warm up to me."

"Encouraging," Collin retorted. "You call that warm?"

Harry laughed, "It's warm for Snape. Come on. Let's get go check on Sarah."

"Good idea." Collin gestured for Harry to lead the way.

* * *

She was sleeping so soundly, dreaming of Orion. The noise at first was faint as she rocked the babe in her arms, but then intensified, driving her into consciousness and out of her potion induced slumber.

She winced as she pushed herself up. Collin was sitting in a chair by the bed, reading a book.

"What's that noise?" he asked, lying his book aside.

Sarah's mind had a hard time focusing, the potions and the pain of movement dulling her mind. "Merlin, no, it's the wards. Where are the others?"

Collin frowned, "Harry got called away about twenty minutes ago. An emergency at the ministry. Your father and Draco left an hour ago."

"Collin…" Sarah struggled to get out of bed, "I need my wand," she reached for her wand that was lying on the nightstand, knocking over the potions in the process.

"You are in no condition."

"Collin," Sarah stood. "The wards have been breached. No one is here. Don't you understand?"

Collin's face went white. "It is happening now."

"Oh shit," Sarah heaved, "it was all a ploy. He wanted me to come to him. He wanted me to get hurt. He wanted Snape to go to him. It was all a ploy to get us alone…alone when I wasn't my best."

There were shouts downstairs.

"Is that Sam?" she swayed, fighting the pain and the panic.

Collin's rushed towards the door but Sarah stepped in front of him. "No," she whispered, "We have to have plan."

"He's my best mate."

"I know," she said, quietly, "but we don't know what is going on."

There was an awful shout and then it got quiet. Too quiet.

Her stomach sunk. "Collin."

"Let's barricade the door," Collin suggested, his throat dry.

"It won't help," Sarah shook her head, trying to think. Her mind was racing, but she was determined. She forced herself to focus and fight the effects of the potion with the power of her mind. "I need you to go."

"Go where?"

"Go down the backstairs. I'll cover you."

"The backstairs?" Collin asked. "Why?"

"There is a mirror by bed. It's magical. It will call for help. You have to call for help."

"But whoever…or whomever is down there is coming up here. I can't just leave you up here."

"Yes, you can," Sarah said, calmly. She reached to grip his hand, "this is my job to protect you. They don't want you, Collin. They want me. You have to go."

"Sarah," Collin's voice became firm, "I will not leave you here to fight them by yourself."

"Collin," her hand shook in his, "this is what I need you to do. Trust me. I can…I mean…merlin, it hurts. But I have fight in me…even in this state. I can buy us time. Please. Trust me. We are a team, right? This is your part of it. And I'll do my part."

He searched her eyes, "Okay."

"It's going to happen fast," she whispered.

He nodded.

Sarah took her wand and swung the door open and then rushed forward into the unknown.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her wand shaking in her hand. "Show yourself."

There were two men in hoods on the stairs. The curses started coming at her in a fury and she responded, deflecting them.

"Show yourself," she challenge. "At least give me the courtesy of knowing who I am facing." The pain of her muscles were leaving her unable to move with the deft she normally had and her arm hurt to raise her wand and yet still…she had to buy herself time.

The curses stopped.

Sarah stepped back and allowed the men to come into the landing. "Let's do this up properly," she said, calmly. "For the Dark Lord's sake. He did like things done, properly, didn't he?"

The men looked at each and nodded.

They slowly lowered their hoods.

"Sam?" she frowned, confused, trying to make sense of how Sam could be firing curses at her.

"My brother. Downstairs. Dead. Like the disgrace should be…he started this all. She met him because my brother was a cursed squib and he bought all of this upon us…and now I have come to finish this all for the sake of my family."

"You are Kate's brother…I see…yes" she coughed, "that makes perfect sense." she caught the other man out of the corner of her eye, "Peter Pettigrew," she nodded. "So nice to see you again."

The rat bowed. "I do say, my dear, you are looking indisposed at the moment."

"I should have known you would have something to do with all of this as well."

"Your love for the muggle must have diluted your mind."

"What would you know about love?" Sarah asked.

"Enough," Peter raised his wand, "Are you ready to see your mummy and daddy again?"

"I bested you once before, rat," Sarah glared at him, "Isn't that what this is about?"

"You are outnumbered."

"I have been outnumbered before."

"Where's the muggle?" Kate's brother asked, his wand raised again.

"I'm going to kill you," Wormtail declared, "to honor my master."

"Your master never thought much of you," Sarah retorted, "you should have heard what he said about you to me."

"Lies!"

"Where is the muggle?"

"You will never have Collin. Never." Her arm jolted up,

" _Protego_!"

She cast a large shield spell, bright and powerful. She put all of her feelings of protection and love into it, shielding herself from their curses as she backed down the other side of the stairs and into the room with Collin, still maintaining the spell as she did.

"Now what?" he asked as she struggled to catch her breath from behind the closed door as she heard more steps on the back stairs this time.

"Stay back," She said as she swung open the door and cast another few curses as they came down the stairs, but she knew she was outnumbered and out of options…and out of energy. She could feel her magical energy slipping.

"Collin," she swung the door open again and cast more curses before squealing as a killing curse almost hit her, "I'm going to die tonight. You are not. Climb out the window."

"What?" Collin was aghast. "What are you doing?"

"I'm blowing up the whole damn place to save your life. Climb out the window."

"Help is on the way."

"We'll be dead before it comes. Lucius weakened me. My magic is slipping. You promised me that you would trust me."

"I'm not leaving you."

"It's either we are both dead or you live," Sarah shouted, blowing out the window the glass shattering outwards, the cold wind blowing in, "Those are our options. Go."

"I will not leave you!" Collin shouted back at her, "You bloody fool. I will not leave you to die."

With a force, Sarah turned her wand on him, blowing him back through the empty space before turning and swinging open the door, wielding her wand, before a blinding light took her out as she fell to the ground.

* * *

She woke up later to much commotion- many voices talking in the small cottage. Her vision was blurry, but when it cleared, she settled on Kreacher's distressed face.

"Kreacher," she said. "You stunned me."

"I did not mean mistress. I heard what you were going to do and I had to stop you. Kreacher is sorry, mistress."

Harry stepped over to put his hand on Kreacher's shoulder. "You did right, Kreacher. You killed two death eaters and saved your mistress's life. It was wicked."

"She's one of the last of the Blacks. I had to save the mistress for my mistress's sake. For our black family tree."

"Yes you did," Lupin said, solemnly. "Well done, Kreacher."

Sarah looked up at her house elf, "Thank you, Kreacher. Thank you so much." Her attention turned from trying to comfort her house elf to the panic in Collin's voice.

"Sarah!" Collin's struggled against George who was holding him back. "Let me go."

George released him and Collin ran to her and pulled her up into his arms. Lupin and Harry stepped away, giving them privacy. "You never do that again, Sarah Black, do you hear me?"

"It's my job."

"And what about my job?"

She paused, "Britain needs you."

"Not that job. My job as your boyfriend…as the man who loves you. I have a responsibility towards you too. I failed Kate. Don't do this to me again."

"I didn't think of it that way."

"Clearly."

"Sam is dead."

"I know," Collin let out his breath.

"It was his brother."

"Yes," Collin held her tighter, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit."

"Sarah!" Snape's voice echoed through the cottage. "Sarah!"

"She's here," Harry called back, "She's safe."

Snape's face was white. "I thought…when I realized it was a trap. I thought with the potions and the state you were in before I left…I thought…"

"Yes, me too," Sarah admitted as Snape knelt beside her and Collin. Snape's hand was on her head.

"I'm too old for this, Sarah Grace."

"I'll be good as new in a few days."

"You will need to come home, so I can properly take care of you."

"But what about Collin?" she shifted.

"I'll be fine."

"We don't know if there are other threats. I don't want you unprotected."

"Harry will stay with him," Lupin said, "just to make sure. We don't want to leave any stone unturned though we have a much clearer picture of the situation."

She sighed in relief, "Good."

"There will be aurors here taking evidence for a while," Harry offered. "He'll be safe." Snape stood to give them privacy and talk to Lupin in quiet tones.

"I need to plan Sam's funeral," Collin murmured.

She winced. "They used him to breach the wards." she looked up and over to Harry for confirmation.

"Unfortunately, yes," Harry confirmed. "I'm sorry, Collin."

"Thank you."

Sarah shifted in Collin's arms. "I'm sorry too."

"I know you are," he said.

"Things are about to get…complicated." she said. "My world. Your world. It doesn't collide well."

"Don't worry about that. You rest and focus on healing," Collin retorted. "And when you are ready, I'll be here to talk about our next steps."

"Is there still an our?"

"Why wouldn't there be?" he asked.

"I just thought…" she paused, "you saw my magic, the force of it…"

"I am grateful you protected me so well, Sarah. I'm not scared of you now or any rubbish like that. Still a team, remember?"

"I do."

Snape approached them again. "You need potions, Sarah. I'm worried about you."

She grimaced, "That's not entirely unjustified."

"That's our cue," Collin kissed her forward gently and gently moved her to where Snape was and Snape took her into his arms.

"Take care of her, please."

"I have for the past eight years," Snape said, "I will endeavor to continue to do my best…" he paused, "I heard she had to stun you through the window to get you to leave her."

"Yes."

Snape nodded, "As her father, I thank you."

Collin nodded back. And for a moment as Sarah looked between the two of them, she had hope that just maybe their two worlds could collide into one. However, she could not anticipate what was to follow and if she did, that hope would have been shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

She slept for days, under Snape's careful watch. When she wasn't asleep, she was resting, Snape keeping her company, reading to her. Andi would join in and fill her with stories of Teddy. Neither of them mentioned Collin or what happened with Lucius, even though Severus promised to give her a piece of his mind, he had shown great restraint in that regard.

They were making small talk, drinking tea, Sarah sitting up in bed when she broached the subject.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?" Severus took a sip of his tea.

"Are you ever going to mention what happened with Lucius?"

"I was going to wait until you recovered your strength," He glanced at Andi.

Andi rose, "I think maybe I should go."

Sarah held her hand, "No, wait. You can be here. It's probably better that way. He can't yell as much- he'll want to make a good impression on you and such."

Andi smiled, "I have already heard the two of you row before. And what I haven't heard, I have heard stories about it."

"She's right, Andromeda. You should stay if Sarah wishes it. We might need you to help us parce through what to do about him."

Sarah wrinkled her nose, "The ministry doesn't believe my story."

"That's not entirely true," Andi said, gently, sitting back down. "The aurors fully believe you, but Lucius has clout, Sarah, and to be completely honest with you, you have broken loads of laws since becoming an auror."

"Technically speaking…"

"But they can be technical," Severus inserted, "especially now that the press is having a day with you and Collin."

She frowned, "I'm not going to prison, am I?"

"Of course not," Andi assured her, "we won't allow that, but, you have to decide what is important to you."

"What do you mean?"

Andi reached for Severus, touching his arm gently and Severus responded, "Andi means that if you want a life with Collin, it's going to come with sacrifices, Sarah."

"I can make this work. I can convince them…"

"No…" Severus began, but he paused at Andi's pressure on his arm. He rephrased, "Let's just take it one step at a time. Your strength has returned. You need to meet with Robards, but take Andi with you, Sarah."

"Why?"

Andi looked at her evenly, "Because Lucius Malfoy will be there as well."

"Why?" she asked, her mouth open in horror.

"Because," Severus said, "he has weaseled himself into having ministry oversight over the aurors."

"Merlin, help me," Sarah grimaced, "I'm screwed."

Severus didn't bother to correct her language, quite agreeing with her. They were quiet again.

"Well?" Sarah asked.

Severus shrugged, "I could give you that piece of my mind, but Sarah, what is going to follow you is enough consequence than any scolding I can give."

"You managed a doozy of one at Collin's."

Severus gave her a small smile. "Then we'll call it covered this time."

She reached out to grip his hand, "I do love you."

He squeezed her hand, "Likewise." His voice turned low as he leaned forward to draw closer to her, "I want you to know that nothing will diminish that- whatever may come."

"I know," she said, her throat dry, not knowing what else to say.

"Finish your tea," Severus suggested, letting go of her hand.

She nodded and reached for her tea cup.

* * *

Sarah stared at the paper in front of her, "What is this?" she asked, her expression unreadable, but her face had grown pale.

Sarah handed Andi the paper and she read over it.

"What is the purpose of this?" Andi looked to Lucius.

"Yes, get to what you want, Malfoy," Robards interjected. "We know that Black has made some questionable decisions, but she has fulfilled every assignment given and she has a bright future in this department."

"What we want," Lucius said, smoothly, twining his hands together, "is for Miss Black to continue her assignment with the muggle."

"Why?" Sarah frowned, trying to deduce his motive.

"We want information about the working of the muggle government. We need more people on the inside. Sarah would be in the perfect position."

"No," Sarah's response was immediate, "I am not spying for the ministry. That is out of the question."

"We have others on the inside, Sarah," Lucius responded, evenly, "They have been there for years. You wouldn't be doing anything unseemly."

"Using my relationship with Collin to do that is unseemly," Sarah retorted, "And he is just an MP. He has influence, but how much do you think I'll find out?"

Lucius gave her a smile, "I suspect a lot."

Sarah turned to Andi, shooting her a look. Lucius was up to something else.

"And if Sarah refuses to do this," Andi said, "what would happen?"

"We have enough evidence to take her wand," Lucius answered smoothly.

"Now wait a minute," Robards smacked his hand on the table, "I am still head of the aurors and nothing she has done has been without justification."

"She risked the secrecy of our world by pursuing an intimate relationship with this muggle."

"She was assigned to him," Andi retorted, "nice try. That won't work."

"Is it a risk you want to take?" Lucius asked, smoothly. He rose, "Think about it, Sarah. And do let us know soon."

Lucius gathered his files and left the room, without another word.

Sarah turned to Robards, "How much power does he have?"

"Enough," Robards, answered gruffly.

"Collin is just a MP, though," Sarah frowned, "I don't understand why he thinks he will be able to tell me anything of importance. He is up to something," She turned to Andi. "What do you think?"

"He is most definitely up to something," Andi retorted, shaking her head, "the nerve of that man."

Sarah pushed her hands against the table to rose, "I need to go and think."

Robards nodded, "Let me know what you decide."

"Andi," Sarah gestured to her and Andi followed her out of the room.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I need to go to Collin," she whispered.

Andi met her eyes, understanding, "Be careful."

"I will," she said, quietly. "Tell Snape I will fill him later…I…" she paused, "I need to be the one to tell him, Andi."

"I understand," Andi's eyes were sympathetic. "He'll understand whatever you choose."

"No, he won't…" Sarah said, quietly. "He'll love me no matter what, but he won't understand."

"He just wants the best for you."

"I know," Sarah smiled at her, "and he has you now. He will be fine no matter what."

"I don't take your place. But I think he'll come around…with time."

Sarah reached out to squeeze her hand, "Thanks, Andi."

"You're welcome," Andi squeezed her hand back.

* * *

Sarah waited in Collin's office, pacing back and forth. He was in a session, a long one at that. Sarah looked at her watch again.

What was going on?

Finally the door swung open and Collin bounded through, his curls bouncing, but he stopped in his tracks as he saw her.

" _Sarah"_ he looked shocked.

"I thought you would be happy to see me," Sarah teased, a small smile on her face.

"I am," Collin smiled, "I just…" his look turned dazed again. "I'm not shocked to see you," he clarified.

"But you are shocked," Sarah went up to him and reached for his hand, "You are trembling. What is it?"

"There is so much to tell you."

"Me too," her lip trembled.

Collin frowned at her emotion, "I have to meet with the press in an hour."

"Okay," Sarah said, slowly, "You can go first then…mine can wait a bit."

"Are you sure?" Collin asked, searching her eyes, "because I'll put them off," he said, "for a little while that is."

"Do you have a press conference scheduled?" Sarah looked confused, "It's not on your schedule."

"It's just…" Collin shifted again, "they had a vote of no-confidence."

"I…I'm sorry, Collin, I'm still rubbish at all of this."

Collin waved her off, "they restructured our party leadership."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"Bowlings is out as prime minister."

"Okay," she paused…"and…" she prompted.

"I'm in."

"In?"

"In," Collin's eyes never left hers.

"In…" Sarah repeated, still trying to grasp what was going on.

"I don't know how it happened. But it did. There were votes and more votes and…I became the party leader and because our party is in power that means…"

"it means…" her voice was hoarse, realization beginning to dawn on her, but she had to be sure. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm the prime minister."

"Of Britain."

"Yes, of course. Where else?" Collin laughed at her.

Sarah let go of Collin's hand and turned away from him. She went over to sit on the couch in his office, her hand rubbing against her mouth, not knowing what to say. "This is…well…surprising."

"I know it is a shock," Collin said, walking to sit next to her. "I'm shocked too. I can hardly process this."

She took a breath, began to say something and then stopped herself.

"What is it?" Collin looked over at her concerned, "I thought you would be happy for me. I know we didn't think this would happen for a few years if at all…"

"It's not that," Sarah schooled her emotions, "I'm happy for you, of course. Happy for Britian."

"Then what is it?" Collin continued to try to read her, "you are doing it with your emotions again- clearing them on purpose."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, "I'm afraid, I'll cry and then you'll be offended if I don't clear my emotions."

"Why would you cry?" Collin asked, the love and concern on his face, which caused her to immediately drop her shields in response. "That's better. What is it?" he put his hand on her knee.

She shook her head, the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

He squeezed her knee. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"This is all such a mess."

"What is?" Collin lifted his hand to put a finger under her chin, turning her head towards him so he could see her face, which now had silent tears falling down them, "Why are you crying?"

"It's such a big day for you…all your dreams…and you are going to be brilliant. You are brilliant. I thought that from the moment I met you. I knew you were destined for this. And I want this for you, but…"

"What is the problem?" he asked.

"I met with the ministry today."

"Is it that bad?" he asked, his thumb rubbing away the tears.

"Yes. They had a proposal for me, but the short version is…they want me to spy on you…"

"On me?" Collin asked, surprised.

"On muggle Britain through you…" she clarified, "or they are going to take my wand," she whispered, "and at first…at first…you are a MP so I didn't understand, but now…now you have power. You are the most powerful man in Britain. And that was their plan all along."

"Oh, God," Collin's arms wrapped around her, "It's okay, love. It's going to be okay."

"I want to give up my wand for you. I will give it up for you if it comes to that…but…."

"It's a part of who you are," Collin finished for her.

"It's not just that."

"It's what then?"

"My magic makes me feel safe and after Voldemort, I don't feel safe without it, Collin. I still have enemies and even if I didn't, I have lived in fear for so long, I will feel powerless without it."

"I know," he said, soothingly.

"What can we do?"

He paused, pondering their next move."There is only one thing I can think to do."

"What is it?"

"Make things right between us and then figure out the rest of it together."

"What does that mean- make things right between us?"

"It means…" Collin pulled her away from him, "Marry me. We are stronger together than apart." He fumbled in his pocket, "I got this a few days ago. We haven't even talked about marriage and it felt foolish, but I knew…I knew I wanted this. I want you as my wife." he pulled out a diamond ring, the middle stone surrounded by other small diamonds.

"It's beautiful," Sarah said, but she had only glanced at it.

"Aren't you going to look at it?" he teased.

She grinned back, sniffling, her heart now full, "I don't need to."

"Why not?"

"It's perfect," she laughed, through her tears.

"But how do you know?" his smile widened even further, if that was possible, his eyes lighting up.

"It's from you," she leaned forward to kiss him, deeply, him responding with passion. They pulled away.

"Is that a yes?"

"It has to be for the right reasons though," she said, quietly, her hand covering his.

"How about that night I thought I was going to lose you that night…and these days apart made me realize that I can't spend another day apart for you? That…I need you…you bring life to me…you challenge me and make me laugh…and you have become my best friend. How is that?" He kissed her again, this time gently.

"That's all very good," she nodded.

"What about you?" he prompted. "It has to be for the right reasons on your part…" he paused, "if you say yes, that is," he added.

She thought for a moment, before replying, "Every thing is so chaotic…everything in my life since Voldemort has felt like at any moment, I would just fall over into the abyss…that I would never feel hope or happiness again, but then I met you…and I got to find myself again…not as Sarah, the girl who Voldemort wanted…whose potential power was so enticing, but Sarah…just me. And all the sudden, the chaos became focused. You brought order to my heart. And I love you. And I don't know how this will work, but I want to make it work with you by my side…"

"So?" Collin prompted. "Is that a…?"

"Yes, Mr. Prime Minister," Sarah leaned forward to kiss him, "It's a yes."

He slid the diamond on her finger and Sarah looked down to study the ring more closely. "It is awfully well chosen, Collin," she smiled.

He poked at her side, "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," she twisted it, "thank you."

"You're welcome."

He put his arm around her and they sat in peace for a few moments, content with each other, despite the activity and buzz going on outside his office.

"So…" Sarah said, quietly.

"So…" Collin repeated.

"Now what?"

"That's a very good question, love," Collin said, "I'll meet the press. Answer their questions. I'm sure they will ask about you…they love all that personal stuff. The public eats it up. And I'll tell them that we are engaged to be married. We'll set a date…"

"And the ministry…I will give up my wand for you, but I would prefer not to. Is there a way around it?"

"We should ask your father, what he thinks," Collin said, seriously, and then shifted, pulling away from her, "I forgot to ask your father if I could marry you."

"You don't have to ask Snape," she responded, but as she said it she knew that wasn't entirely true.

"Yes, I do," Collin said, seriously. "Scrap telling the press today. Your father can't find out about it though the papers. Give me the ring back."

"I'm not giving you the ring back," Sarah said, eying him. "You are supposed to be the most powerful man in Britain, surely you aren't scared of my father?"

He looked at her wryly, "Have you met your father? He is bloody intimidating."

"It's good practice for you then…" she teased. "But you are right. I need to talk to Snape first. Especially with all these ramifications, he needs to know I am okay. I'll warm him up for you so he is only mildly irritated when you ask him."

"Great," Collin said, "Now, I have to go meet the press. They are puppy dogs compared to what is waiting for me later."

She laughed then, "The press loves you, Collin…and Dad…well," she shifted, "it's going to be fine…eventually."

"You really think so?"

She nodded, "You make me happy."

"Even if it means giving up your magical future? Because this is what it might mean…"

She paused, "He'll come around," she nodded, but in her heart, she was worried what Snape's reaction would be.

The moment Collin asked her to be his wife, she knew her course…that she had finally found her way…but she also knew it wasn't also going to come without pain…

And she wondered exactly what Snape would say about it. As she watched Collin stand, move to his desk and start working on his remarks, her mind wandered to conversations between her and Snape about muggles. He had joined the death eaters many years ago because of those ingrained prejudices and while he fought for the Order, she knew he was fighting for Harry's future and her own more than against Voldemort's belief of the purity of blood. What did he still think of all of this? He often kept his views close to himself, but…there were glimpses of the old way still there. She honestly had no idea, but the thought about division between her and Snape tore at her heart. Yet, as she looked at Collin, she knew where she wanted her future.

She just hoped Snape would truly understand in time.

A/N: up next: Snape and her have a very frank conversation…also, for those who love Draco…I love him too and this story is very much about the journey between the two of them…so stay tuned. :)


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: A new chapter on this Valentine's Day. Enjoy and please review and let me know what you think!

Her heart was beating so fast as she sat down on the familiar leather couch in Snape's study the next morning. She had arrived a few minutes earlier, hoping to catch Snape before he ventured out into the village and happened upon any muggle gossip or papers. She unraveled her lightweight scarf before absently running her fingers through her hair, fluffing it up.

Snape sat down across from her in his arm chair and waited in silence. She knew that meant he was going to allow her to make the first move- when she was ready.

And yet, still, she couldn't manage to catch her breath enough to say anything all, just shift uncomfortably and fiddle with her hair and clothing in agitation. It was becoming awkward, the more she procrastinated in uncomfortable silence.

"Ahem," after a few minutes, Snape cleared his throat, "your note said that you needed to speak to me. I cleared my schedule for today."

"Thank you," she responded, shifting again, "I hope I didn't put you out," she put her fingers on her chest, her heart beating through it.

"Not at all," Snape's eyes were on her, watching her carefully.

They fell silent again. After a few more long minutes, Snape broke the silence again. "Do you need me to read your mind?" he asked, bluntly.

"Of course not," Sarah said, quickly, horrified at the thought. She had to frame this for Snape in the right way- go about it delicately, though at the moment, she wasn't sure how to do this at all.

"Do you need me to help you clear your mind then?" Snape asked, his fingers on his chin, contemplatively, "You look as nervous as when you came a few years back and asked me to take a ruler to your hand."

"I feel it," she said, honestly. "I wish it was as easy as that."

He stared at her for a few moments, his eyes narrowing, a frown forming across his face.

Abruptly, he stood, resolved, "Come along then, Sarah Grace."

"What are we doing?" she stood, slipping off her jacket and tossing it on the couch with her bag.

"i did clear my schedule, but I had planned a day of brewing. I have orders due. Will you help me?"

"Do you really want me to help you?" Sarah asked, her forehead wrinkling in concern.

"That's what I just said, didn't i?" Snape asked.

"It's just," Sarah ran her fingers through her hair, again "we haven't done that in a while."

"I see," he crossed his arms, "Are you afraid you are out of practice then?"

"Of course not."

"I'm not grading you," he titled his head, "but I do expect a quality to your work."

She titled her head, her pride edging up into defensiveness, "I assure you I can handle it."

"Very well. Then let's go," he took her arm. "We might as well channel this energy into something productive. Do go upstairs and find a hair tie first though. Your hair sheds terribly. Like that mutt of your father."

"Dad!" she chastened.

"Well, it's true," Snape defended. "Padfoot did shed and you do too."

"Yes," she acknowledged, "but you don't have to be so blunt about it. You know I always put my hair up to brew anyway."

"I know," Snape said, guiding her to the foot of the stairs, "We will be here a while. Do you need to send anyone a note?"

"I told Collin I may not be back tonight. He is busy anyway." She paused, "If you don't mind if I spend the night. Are you doing anything with Andi? I don't want to…" she shifted on her heels, "well…interrupt anything."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Andi and I aren't hormonal teenagers, Black. If that is what you are implying."

"Well, I don't know," Sarah defended, "Ah, Merlin." she wrinkled her nose, "Let's not go there."

"You started it," Snape retorted and swatted her towards the stairs,"Yes, you may spend the night. No, you are not interrupting anything. Now, go on. I'll meet you in the lab."

"Yes, sir," she headed up the stairs to her room.

* * *

They worked in easy companionship, Sarah easily falling back into brewing. Growing up, she had spent many a day in this position with Snape and the level of comfort and familiarity with him was just what they both needed to put her more at ease.

"You seem more relaxed," Snape commented as he looked up from his work to watch her.

"It feels so good to do this," she admitted. "Like home."

"You are home. And brewing seems to focus you these days."

"It does," she nodded, biting her lip.

"We have always had a rapport, Sarah," Snape passed her the root for her to peel and chop. "Is it really that bad?"

"I just have to work myself up to it," Sarah said, quietly. "Thank you for suggesting us working together today."

"I don't like the tension between us at times," Snape admitted. "And sometimes, I just want you to be eleven and let me take you over my knee and smack it out of you."

She smiled as she began to chop. "I must have been very trying at times, Snape."

"Only when you were up to nonsense with your fellow Gryffindors," Snape declared, stirring his potion. "Merlin, the grey hairs you gave me."

She pursed her lips, "I wasn't that bad."

"Wait until you have your own child. You'll see."

She laughed at him, her giggle echoing through the room. "I'm sure."

"Don't forget to stir that thrice."

"I have it, Dad," she picked up her wand.

"Okay," he glanced back over to make sure she did what he said.

"Don't worry," she shot him another look, "You are as protective over your potions as you were over me."

"Are," Snape amended, "You turning eighteen didn't change those feelings. You'll find that out as well too."

They fell back into silence working side by side, their moves mimicking each other, but neither of them aware of it.

"You are still quite good at this," Snape said, casually, examining the potion she just completed and then compared it to his own. "Actually…" he studied it further. "I think I chopped my root too thin. This is superior."

Sarah blushed at the praise. "I can't actually have done something better than you, Dad."

He titled his head, "Why not? I taught you. Eventually the student can succeed the master."

"Not for a very long time," Sarah said, adamantly. "I'm still learning…I still have much to learn actually…" her voice trailed off, her heart twisting. "Never mind."

Snape put his hand over hers, "Let's continue. Or shall we break for lunch?"

"Lunch," Sarah said, "I'm famished. I've worked up an appetite."

"Good. You need to eat more. I don't think you are quite eating right," Snape responded. "Lunch and then back at it."

They ate lunch and then spent the rest of the afternoon finishing up his tasks. When they were finally finished, they were both exhausted but at peace.

They ate dinner and then Wiggles, their house elf, shooed them out of the kitchen. Snape led her back to his study, but not before taking a bottle of wine and two glasses from the kitchen with him.

She looked at him, in surprise. "Really?"

"Andi and I usually have a glass of wine after dinner. You are old enough. Why not?"

"Why not" she plopped on the couch and twisted her pony tail. "That's sweet you and Andi spend that time together."

"Most good relationships need time to communicate. Life is too busy otherwise," He opened it with a pop of his magic and poured two glasses and handed one to her before nudging her legs over to sit next to her on the couch. He reached for the afghan on the back of the couch and draped it over her legs, but his hand stayed firmly on her knee.

"Now, Black…let's get to it, shall we?"

"Can't we just be blissful for another few hours?"

"It won't make it easier, sweetheart."

"This could change everything, though," Her voice was hoarse with emotion. Snape's term of endearment so rarely given almost tore her apart.

"It won't change the fundamentals of our relationship. I promise you."

She took a breath, staring at the afghan.

"Out with it." Snape commanded, his voice firm, "Enough is enough."

She shifted, fiddling with the afghan with her free hand. Taking another deep breath, she said, "I have to ask you a question, Dad."

"I'm all ears."

"It's a bit of a sensitive subject."

"You can ask me anything," Snape retorted, "You know that."

"Okay, here it goes," she took a sip of wine, "When you decided to fight Voldemort…to become a spy…"

"What about it?"

"That decision…was it _just_ for Lily's memory and to protect Harry and then to protect me?"

"Hum," Snape took his own drink then put it down, "What do you mean _just_? Wasn't that justification enough?"

"Of course, but you never told me how you felt about…" she paused, trying to phrase it, "how Voldemort felt about _things_. I know at one time you felt the same way Voldemort felt, but did it change when you decided to spy for the Order?"

"I think I see what you are getting at," he responded, his voice low.

"We never talked about it…I mean, not _really_ talk about it. I think I made assumptions and some you said were wrong and some were right, but you never told me where you stood on things…not really."

"I wanted you to come to your own conclusions," Snape said, "without influencing you."

"But you influenced me in everything else…guided me…why was this different?" She met his eyes.

"I wanted to honor your parent's memory, I suppose, them having specific feelings about things."

"Mum, especially?"

Snape nodded.

"Okay, so," Sarah swallowed hard, "if I asked you specifically a question, would you answer it now? Being completely honest with me…even if it is not what I want to hear?"

He nodded, "Of course, if that is what you wish."

She licked her dry lips and then put her wine down, "How do you feel about purity of blood?"

"I don't think we should kill each other over the issue," Snape said, dryly.

"That's not answering my question," Sarah pressed and Snape held up his hand,

"Let me finish, Sarah. While I don't believe that, I think it is ill-advised for a wizard or witch to form a family with a muggle."

She bit her lip, "But why?"

"We have secrecy laws for a reason. They don't understand us and that lack of understanding can lead to the demise of our ways. Look at the witch trials centuries ago. And then the children they have…one could demonstrate magical ability, the other not, leads to both children skating different worlds, not having a place…jealously, contention," Snape said, his voice low, "It's not that I think we are superior to them. It's just we are different."

She remained quiet.

"I don't say this to hurt you or condemn you, it is what I believe and you asked for my honesty."

She nodded, trying to clear her mind not to show her emotions.

"Are you disappointed?"

"It wasn't wholly unexpected," Sarah admitted. "I'm not really disappointed. I get what you are saying…it's just…I didn't expect this to happen, but it did."

"And now you are contemplating where to go with it?" Snape asked.

She shook her head.

Snape let out his breath, "You have already decided then?"

"Yes," She met his eyes, "It is powerful what I feel for Collin, Dad…what we have together. More powerful than the pull of my magic. I love him."

"I see," Snape said, studying her. "There is more."

"Yes," she took another breath, "If I told you that I might have to give up my wand, what would you say?"

Snape stood abruptly and began to pace the room, before taking another breath and sit down again next to her, "Honestly, I would say that part of me feels the past eight years has been for naught."

"How is that?"

"Nurturing the gift you have…your magical identity." Snape looked perturbed, "Could you really sequester that part of yourself and be happy?"

"I'm just so tired, Dad."

"Then do something else, Sarah," Snape retorted, "Of course you are exhausted. You are still fighting dark wizards. It's not reason to give up your magical identity completely."

"I feel at peace when I am with Collin," Sarah told him, frankly. "I haven't felt like that for ages. They all see my power…Collin just sees me."

"But your magic is part of you. It's not the whole of you, but it is a part of you," Severus pointed out, "Does _he_ want you to stop?"

"No, of course not," Sarah said, "he understands this is a part of me, but considering the circumstances, he is just so public a figure now and the ministry wanting me to spy on him…"

"Wait," Severus put his hand on her wrist, "Back up. What about the ministry?"

"Lucius says he has enough to take my wand if I don't spy on muggle Britain through Collin and since he is now prime minister…"

"Wait," Snape squeezed her wrist, "you have clearly left out pertinent information. Collin is now prime minister? When did this happen?"

"Yesterday."

"When the ministry told you they wanted you to spy on Collin as your next assignment," Snape drawled, "Convenient, isn't it?"

"He is going to brilliant at it, no matter what," Sarah defended.

"yes, of course," Snape waved her off, "i meant no judgment on Collin's abilities, just that obviously, the ministry had its hand in this."

She nodded. "I know."

Snape looked upward, "What have you gotten yourself into, Sarah Grace?"

She swallowed hard, tears forming to in her eyes, "I love him. I really love him, Dad."

Snape looked over to her, "If he is prime minister, you will become a public figure in the muggle world. You will have to cut ties with our world to preserve its secrecy."

"Not all ties," Sarah frowned, "We live in a muggle village. I can visit you here."

"But not at Hogwarts."

"I don't know. Probably not I suppose."

"And Harry?"

"He lives in London. Again, I can visit."

"But you will be followed. Collin is young and endearing. They love him already. You are beautiful and enchanting- they'll love in turn. They'll want to photograph you- to know every detail about your relationship. The press will be obsessed with you just like they are with the royals. You will meet foreign leaders. You will be under enormous scrutiny. One slip could have devastating implications for our world."

"I won't slip."

"Nothing will be the same for you. You will be giving up your friendships, your identity. For what?"

"For me to marry the man I love."

"But you are better than this!" Snape smacked his hand on the couch. "I didn't raise you to be second to anyone. We went through hell and back so you can have a future and you tell me you want to give it up."

"But this is the future I want…with Collin. And in a way, we fought so I can live in a world where I can have this future without forfeiting my life like Kate did."

Snape squeezed his eyes shut, trying to gather his control. He took a few long breaths through his nose and out his mouth before, reaching for her hand.

"I have to be honest with you, Sarah."

"You haven't been honest?" Sarah gave a small laugh and then paused at Snape's look, so reminiscent of when she was growing up and she had gotten confronting with some sort of misdeed on her part. She racked her brain for what that could be, "What is it?"

"Part of the reason why I was so frustrated at you for going to Lucius Malfoy is because Draco told me about your NEWT scores."

"Oh Merlin! He didn't!" Sarah cried. "Why would he do that?"

"It doesn't matter his motivation," Snape said, his voice becoming gentle, "What matters more is why didn't _you_ tell me?"

"It was too hard telling you and having you be disappointed in my decision not to pursue a potions career given…"

"Given that you are one of the most talent, promising potions students to come out of Hogwarts…." he paused and then added in a low voice, " _ever_. Given all I had put into you to have you successful at my area of expertise and then when you began to thrive even more than I could imagine, you give it up. Given you told me that this is what your dream was…to be a professor…"

She tugged her hand out of his and stood, walking over to the fire, which kept the room cozy on the damp nights, her arms crossed. Her back was to him when she responded, "I would be rubbish at it."

"That's utter nonsense," Snape stood, wiping his hand on his pants, "I disagree. I am rubbish at it…"

"My scores beg to differ with that assessment, Professor Snape."

"Sarah," Snape put his hand on her arm and turned her so she faced him, "Look me in my eyes and tell me that is not still your dream."

"I can't do that," she whispered. "But I can't have my dream and Collin have his."

"You are eighteen years old," Snape retorted. "You are giving up your life at such a young age."

"But I'm not. I'll get to have experiences we never dreamed I would have."

"But the cost, Sarah. The cost," Snape moved his hand to her shoulders, "Do you understand fully what you are doing?"

She nodded. "Please support me."

He sighed, "I support you. I love you. But I cannot say I think this is wise…that this is the best course for you, but then again, I was furious when you went into the aurors. At least this is safer."

"Collin wants to talk with you. Please be nice."

He squeezed her shoulders, "I will talk to him about my reservations."

"Of course, but…" Sarah sighed, "Please. In the end, give your blessing. For both of our sakes."

He kissed the top of her forehead. "Indeed. I will not stand in your way if you are determined."

"Do you think I will have to give up my wand for the ministry?"

"Let us sit again," Snape gestured to the couch and they both sat on the couch, "Lucius Malfoy is behind this all."

She nodded.

"It will be fine then."

"How do you know?" Sarah asked, reaching for her wine.

"I just do," Snape said, cryptically, "Do not worry. Andromeda and I will work out the particulars."

"But…"

"They will not be able to compel you to spy on your husband," Snape said. "There are laws."

"There are ways around laws."

"True," Snape said, slowly, "It would be better if we could convince them that your marriage to Collin will not be a detriment to our world."

"Meaning?"

"You will have to put your wand under the care of a safe-keeper."

"So, I will have to give it up?"

"Likely," He nodded. "Think of who you would want that person to be."

"You," Sarah immediately, "of course."

"Not Potter?"

She shook her head, swiftly, "It has to be you. No one else."

"I'd be honored," Snape said, "We can make arrangements in the bargain for you to practice magic when you are at Snape Manor."

"Good," she leaned her head down to rest on his knees, putting her legs up, curling up on the couch. Snape's hand immediately flicked for the afghan to cover her before putting his hand on her head, rubbing it tenderly. "I'm scared."

"Why?"

"My magic makes me feel safe. Like I can defend myself. What if they come after me?"

"Your wandless magic is powerful enough to get yourself out of a sticky situation if necessary," Snape said, quietly. "You can't live your life in fear."

"I hate being an auror."

"I know."

"You were right."

"Yes."

"What if they don't like me?"

"Who?"

"The muggles."

"They'll adore you, Sarah Grace."

"I sometimes think of how my life would have been if he had won. Sometimes I can almost feel his mark burning on my flesh. And then I look down and it's not there. I'll never be whole unless I split with this world."

"But the split is permanent. Is Collin really worth it?"

"He's the best man I know- save you, of course."

"And he makes you feel loved and cherished and safe…"

"Yes."

"Then, I will give my blessing…after I say my peace."

She yawned, "I'm tired."

Snape continued to rub her head, "Rest then. I'll take you to your bed."

Her eyes closed as she fell into a peaceful sleep, but Snape sat, contemplating his next move.

* * *

Snape slid a piece of parchment down on the desk.

"What is this?"

"I need you to get your father to agree to these terms."

Draco frowned, but read the paper, while Snape down at his office.

Draco looked up, "Why would I do that?" he asked, incredulously.

Snape crossed his arms, "Because you broke her heart. And it could have been prevented. You will let her have her happy ending."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you aren't the man that will ever be worthy of her. And I was so very wrong about you."

"You are asking me to have a role with her giving up her magic, her talent? To leave everything she knows for that muggle?" Draco wrinkled his nose, "Do you support this?"

"I support whatever she decides is best for her life. She is an adult."

"But her magic!"

Snape shifted and then looked at him, saying firmly, "She thinks that one of the main reasons you were attracted to her was because of that magic."

Draco's mouth dropped, "That's ludicrous. That was him…not me!"

"Maybe if you didn't divorce her when it was compromised after losing your child, she would feel differently," Snape said, wryly, "But you did. And your father has an obsession with destroying her…and if you have ever loved her, then you will stand up for her now."

Draco slid the paper in a folder, "Consider it done, then."

"How will you do it?"

"My father has been straying from mother for years. I will threaten to tell her."

"Your mother knows already," Snape said, bluntly.

"Yes, but he doesn't know she knows," Draco said. "And I will threaten to leak it to the press. It will be a scandal and you know how he hates a scandal involving our family."

"And if that doesn't' work…" Snape looked at him, a message passing between them.

"Then…of course, I will use my cousin."

Snape nodded, "That will work."

"Using a two year old to do our dirty work," Draco shook his head, "We aren't any better than the lot of them."

"Our cause is just," Snape said, "just the means questionable. And it's just the way it has to be." He shifted, "How is the child?"

Draco shrugged, "Far away from here, which I hope she stays that way. That combination of genes is a scary prospect indeed."

Snape twined his hands, "He didn't make her his heir. He sent her away."

"He knew Bellatrix would never allow Sarah to have his heir when she had his baby first. She was never maternal anyway."

"No, I would say not," Snape shuddered, "You have to feel sorry for that poor child."

"She is better where she is now…with both her parents dead," Draco said, "I will get this done, Uncle Sev."

"Good," Snape nodded, "Thank you, Draco."

"You can't ever tell her, though…" Draco said, "Not my role in this. I don't want her to know."

"Very well. If you insist."

"I'm doing this because I love her."

"I know you do."

"And to make it right."

"You are a good man, Draco," Snape nodded. "Thank you."

Snape said his goodbye and Draco opened up the file back, studying the paper, sighing. He took out a frame from his drawer and closed his eyes in pain. He had lost her…completely. And it was nobody's fault except his own.

* * *

"Please have a seat," Severus gestured to the couch in his study at Snape Manor.

"Thank you," Collin sat down, rubbing his hands on his pants as he did. There was no denying that he was nervous, though he as a political leader, now the most powerful diplomatic and political man in Britain was used to high pressure meetings. Later to Sarah, he would admit that he had never been so nervous in his life.

"Did you have a good trip?" Snape asked, twining his hands as he sat down in his arm chair.

"Uneventful," he said. "though Sarah insisted on having control of the music in the car."

"Is that so?" Snape paused, frowning. He held up his hand to Collin for a moment and then put a finger to his lips.

Snape stood and walked over to the door, opening it, Sarah almost losing her balance as he did.

"I thought you said you were going to go to the grocery," Snape looked at her sternly.

"I was thinking," Sarah crossed her arms. "This isn't the 17th century."

"Very observant of you, Black," Snape said, but his demeanor relaxed slightly.

"So, if you and Collin want to have a conversation about me or our relationship, then I think I could be privy to it."

"Do you now?" Snape asked.

"Yes, I do," she said, adamantly.

"One moment, then," Snape said, stepping out of the room.

"Sarah," Collin beckoned over to her.

She shifted, "I know you wanted privacy with Snape."

"I did," Collin said, seriously.

"I just can't stand not knowing what he is saying…what you are saying," she walked over to him to sit on the couch. "It is about me."

"I want to form a relationship with your father though and that starts by finding a mutual respect. You have met my parents, have had conversations with my mum and sister. Your father is going to be grandfather to our children. It makes sense for us all to get everything out in the open now. And he knows you better than anyone."

"But…"

Collin tipped up her chin, "Trust goes both ways."

"You're right of course," Sarah nodded, blushing slightly. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Collin smiled at her, reaching for her hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it. "Are you ready for our interview with the press on Friday?"

"All I have to do is look at you adoringly," Sarah said, grinning, "And I'm quite good at that."

Collin laughed. "That's not all. We have to work out all the details."

"We will," Sarah said, confidently. "Don't worry."

Snape came back in a few moments, with Harry in tow. "I have your child minder for you," Snape announced.

"Duty calls," Harry said, smirking. "Let's go to the grocery, Paddy."

She sighed, "Alright. If you insist. I didn't really need Harry to come, though I will enjoy the company. Collin had talked me down. I had all but agreed to leave you two alone when you came back."

"This way is better because I get all the details," Harry said, "which clearly you have neglected to tell me a few."

"Yes," Sarah let go of Collin's hand and stood, walking over to Harry, taking his arm. "Let's go, Mr. Potter. I will fill you in on all the juicy bits over the veggies."

"Be mindful you are not overheard," Snape said.

"Of course, we are aurors," Sarah waved at him and left with Harry without another word.

"Now then," Snape sat again when the door clicked, "Where were we?"

"How did you know she was outside the door?" Collin asked, curiously.

"Sarah is very good at spying," Snape said, wryly. "but I know she hates to be out of the middle of things, so I didn't know for certain, but I heard a slight shuffle and suspected."

"So, it wasn't any magic?"

Snape shook his head, "Only a father's instinct."

Collin nodded. "I suppose you know why I wanted to speak to you."

"Naturally, we both know," Snape said, "Sarah must have told you of our conversation."

"She did," Collin affirmed, "She didn't give a lot of details though."

"I have reservations about all of this," Snape said, "Should we just skip the pleasantries?"

"Are you always this direct?" Collin asked.

"It depends with whom I am talking to," Severus responded, dryly, his twinge of sarcasm evident.

"Very well then. Straight to it," Collin straightened, "I would like to marry your daughter."

"Why?" Snape asked.

"She is a remarkable woman," Collin answered, "funny, compassionate, stubborn, beautiful…she has become my best friend…and when we were attacked and I thought I had lost her, I realized that I don't want to spend any more days a part from her."

"Hum," Snape nodded, slowly, "She is all those things. That is true. Quite true. She is remarkable…and she is easy to love," he paused, choosing his words, "But she is remarkable in _other_ ways too."

"Meaning her magical ability?"

"Yes, precisely. She is a witch. And she is gifted as a witch…not all of us are. Did you know that?Some are more powerful than others in the way they can harness their magic. But Sarah…Sarah could produce spells as a first year- an eleven year old- spells that grown wizards struggled with. She has a strength, a power…so much so that the most powerful wizard in our world wanted her as his lover. Her power was that enticing…And while his attraction to her was disturbing, his instincts about her ability, they weren't unwarranted. In fact, they were spot on."

"And you are upset that she would have to give up that power…."

"It's not so much about the power," Snape said, twining his hands, "She is gifted. Her ability is a gift. Her mother once gave up the same gift and it was a loss."

"She gave it up for different reasons, though, right?"

Snape nodded, "Sarah has always been destined for great things, Collin. It seems like you will hinder her."

"She still can be destined for great things, maybe not as a witch, but as a woman," Collin said, quietly. "…as a woman in our world."

"You are prime minister of Britain," Severus said, "you are asking her to give up so much for you…to support your goals."

"And she will find her place…create her own goals for life as a wife of a prime minister. She has passions," Collin said, "we will create a life for her…for us."

"But it will still be secondary to your goals…" Snape countered, standing to start to pace. "You are failing to see the point."

"I see the point," Collin said, "You think she'll be wasting her life marrying me."

"Her magic…" Snape continued to pace, "It's ingrained in her. It has been nurtured for these eight years, developed ever so carefully…ever so strategically…by her professors…by me. Even by the darkest, most sinister wizard of all time…And she has flourished…even with the Dark Lord, she flourished in her magical ability. And she hasn't reached maturity with it."

"I saw it" Collin said, "that night…I didn't quite understand it all, but I saw how formidable she was"

"Exactly, my point," Severus gestured to him, "You saw it, but you don't understand it. We do. She belongs here, not in a world who will never truly understand her. I know my daughter. She thinks marrying you will be happy, but she'll always feel like something was missing. She will mourn the loss of her magic, of her wand. She is settling for a life of mediocrity and that will never make her entirely happy."

Collin frowned and then cleared his throat, "Our world might be different, but it isn't mediocre. Even so, I don't think she was entirely happy…or safe…these eight years when she had to face things no young adult should." Collin's voice grew more passionate, "She was tortured. Forced into a marriage. She witnessed the murder of her friends and her child. I'm not forcing her away from the magical world. That happened on its own. And what makes her remarkable in my perception is her…her kindness, compassion, will and then strength…not the strength of her magic, but the strength of her character. And that should surpass everything."

Severus stopped pacing and turned on his heels, facing him, "That isn't inaccurate, she has been through the deepest purgatory…and I had to witness it all," he said slowly. "And there is more to her strength than her magical ability…I'm her father…of course I see that. But I'm not wrong here either. You mustn't underestimate the impact of giving up her magic, her friends, will have on her."

"I know it will be difficult. But she won't have to give up her family. And Harry and Hermione will maintain their ties with her, I'm sure. We will just have to be strategic about it."

"Very well," Snape turned to sit back down in his seat, rubbing his hands against his knees, "There is one more matter to discuss."

"Which is?" Collin asked, evenly.

"Your children…."

"What about them?"

"I presume you want to have children with Sarah."

"Loads," Collin confirmed.

"What if they are magical?"

"I won't be prime minister forever…they could be able to attend Hogwarts or wherever Sarah thinks is best. I will defer to her judgement."

"Will you promise me that you will never try to sequester their ability?"

"I promise," Collin said, seriously.

"And will you allow her to visit…often?"

"Of course," Collin nodded, "That's a given."

"And if there is ever a day that Sarah decides she wants to reenter our world when you are done with your career, will you support her?"

"Absolutely. Sarah's happiness is of the greatest importance to me. I want to see her happy. And I wouldn't marry her if I didn't think i could."

"Very well, then," Snape said. "You have my blessing."

Collin smiled, widely, "Thank you."

Snape rose and poured two drinks and went over to hand him one, "Here. You look like you need this."

"Your reputation isn't inaccurate," Collin said, taking a sip. "Heads of states should take a lesson from you on negotiation."

Snape raised an eyebrow and then glass to him, saluting. He took a sip, "She is my only daughter. One day, when you have a daughter, you will understand what they do to your heart. And contrary to popular believe, I _do_ have one."

"I never doubted that," Collin said sincerely. "I will strive to deserve her. I promise."

Snape nodded and then they proceeded to discuss their plans of Sarah exiting their wizarding world.

* * *

"Okay then," Sarah took a breath and signed her name with a flourish and then put the quill down on Snape's desk. She magically sent the parchment to Harry, who put it in his pocket.

"I don't know how you convinced Lucius of this," Harry said to Snape.

"I have my ways," Snape raised an eyebrow in a silent message to cease with the questioning, at least in Sarah's presence.

"Is that it?" Sarah asked, folding her arms against her chest.

"No," Harry shifted heavily on his feet, "I have to see you give up your wand."

"Now?" she asked, aghast. "Collin and I aren't marrying for two more months."

"It's valid the minute you sign the contract," Snape said, interjecting, his voice calm. "You have press to deal with, security. Collin's position is very visible and you as his fiancee."

She took a breath, "You are right, of course. I guess I knew that in my head, it's just…I can't really express how I am feeling in this moment."

"Take your time," Harry said, "Honestly, it's no hurry. We can have lunch…or something. Tea…we'll wait until you are ready."

"No, it won't make it any easier," Sarah said, swallowing hard, "Thank you, though, Harry." she forced a smile at him. "I appreciate you handling these matters."

Harry nodded and Sarah slipped her wand out of her pocket.

"You will still have access to your wand while you are here," Snape said, evenly, "You aren't giving it up completely."

"It feels complete," she said, honestly, her palm upright, staring at the wand in her hand. Her palm closed, clasping against it. She looked over at Snape. "Dad?"

"What is it?"

"I need to duel." Her voice was teetering on panic.

"With me or Harry?"

She looked at Harry. "Are you up for it?"

"Always, Paddy, but perhaps, Snape could handle you right now."

"Are you worried my magic will explode on you or something?" she frowned at him, her expression close to a scowl.

"You _are_ a little high-strung right now," Harry mumbled.

"You are supposed to be an auror, the chosen one," Sarah huffed. "Honestly."

"Sarah," Snape stepped between them, "It's not his fault you are giving up your wand."

She closed her eyes tightly and then took a breath, "Sorry, Harry."

"No problem," he said, evenly. "If you want to duel, I'll duel with you."

"No, Snape should," Sarah conceded, "I _am_ high strung right now."

Snape pulled out his wand. "Back up. That's it. Harry, you count us off."

They dueled for the longest time, Sarah not conceding any ground with Snape and him surprisingly unable to disarm her, though he had tried earnestly for the past ten minutes as the duel had been dragging on. He knew she was exhausted for he was as well, but he had trained her well. She was deft, skilled, and so very focused. She had been on the edge of a breakdown, but the minute they started the duel, her focus zoomed in and she was showing a brilliance that he hadn't seen from her since she lost her magic the first time. It was like all he had taught her was finally coming into its own.

"Shall we call it a draw?" Harry asked, for the tenth time.

"No," Sarah breathed deeply, "Unarm me, Dad."

"I'm trying, Sarah," he said, honestly. "I've been trying for the past ten minutes."

"Merlin, where is the Dark Lord when you need him?" Sarah grumbled. "You need me to let you disarm me?"

"Actually, yes," Snape said, casting another spell, which Sarah deflected, "Or you can disarm me."

"I can't disarm you," Sarah squeaked. "It isn't right."

"It is a duel," Snape reflected her spell,"Come on, Sarah. Do it."

In one more rush of spells, deflections, "Expellarmius"

Snape backed up to where he was leaning against the wall, "Merlin, help me, you made me feel my age."

Sarah leaned over, both hers an Snape's wand in her hands. In that moment, holding her wand, her memories of her life in the magical world rushed through her. She took a breath, rose on shaky knees and handed both his wand and her wand to Snape.

He pocketed both of them, before Sarah collapsed in his arms, a heap of sobs against him. Snape slid down the wall with her.

"there it is," Snape murmured. "Get it out."

Harry took a glance at them and then quietly crossed the room, slipping out and clicking the door behind him.

"I didn't think it would be this hard," she said, "It is my choice. I thought it would be easy since it was my choice…but I feel like I'm mourning a loss."

"You are in way," Snape held her close. "But it is not lost completely. You can come here and still practice magic."

"But it won't be the same," she said. "I love him. I love him so much. But this hurts." she buried her head.

"It is a part of you that you will be sequestering. You said you would be okay with that. Do you feel differently?"

"I think it will just take time," she sniffled. "I'm sorry I disarmed you."

"Are you so concerned about my pride, little girl?" Snape chuckled and then kissed her head, affectionately, "It was high time. You were brilliant just now. And I do have pride- in you…then again, I did teach you everything you know."

She laughed through her sobs, "That is true. So very true."

She raised her head to now rest it on his shoulder, "Hey dad?"

"What is it?"

"You will be alright, won't you?"

"Don't worry about me. I have my job."

"And Andi."

"Yes, and Andromeda…and Potter has become a blasted nuisance at wanting to form a relationship," Severus huffed, but Sarah knew that sarcasm was a bit put on. He and Harry were forging a way and Snape was teetering on taking more of a father's role in Harry's life. In the past year and a half, after the Great Battle, he had visited Snape often for advice…or a friendly game of wizarding chess. In Sarah's busyness, she had missed that bond that was forming between them until one day recently, she stopped in to find Harry in Snape's study, handily giving Snape a run for his money with game. She hadn't intruded, but went to find Wiggles, who reported that Master Harry visited often…would have dinner with Andromeda and him…Ginny sometimes with him. She suggested that it was Andi who encouraged Snape to be open with Harry and Sarah didn't doubt that. She reported that Draco visited not as much, but he was slowly coming around more.

"I'm glad," she said, softly. "About Andi…"

"What about her?"

"Will you marry her?"

Snape startled. "I…hadn't…quite…thought…about…it."

"That's not true," she countered. "I know you have."

"I have," Snape conceded, "The timing isn't quite right."

"And when it is…you should marry her," Sarah said.

Snape reached up to rub her head, "It's complicated."

"Why?"

"Well," Snape let out his breath, "I'm not sure I would make a good husband."

"Why ever not?"

"I'm set in my ways," Snape said.

"You do have quirks," Sarah said and Snape poked at her, "But that's not a reason. You have to stop thinking that you are undeserving of what the rest of us have. And when you do…when you get to that point…or" she cleared her throat, "the timing is right, you should marry her."

"I'll take that under the highest advisement," Snape said, solemnly.

"And you will keep it safe?"

Snape paused, not following her abrupt change in the conversation, "Your wand?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

"It's just been with me for so long…and mum helped me pick it out…at Ollivanders. It is one of the last strong memories I have of her…her visits at Hogwarts since then have become a blur, but for some reason, that one stands out."

"Of course. I will protect it as much as my own."

She continued to lean against him. "Will you sit here with me like this for a few minutes?"

"Between you and me, I don't think I can get up at the moment, even if I wanted to." Snape said, honestly.

She laughed. "You are not that old."

"It bloody feels like it at the moment," Snape retorted, but then squeezed her shoulder with his fingers. "I have to ask once more and then I won't again…are you quite certain about all of this?"

"I am."

"Very well then. I will say no more," Snape fell quiet and Sarah rested against him, finding no need to talk as well.

* * *

Collin kept glancing at her in the car on the way to the fundraiser. Sarah kept fiddling with skirt of her midnight blue dress. The bodice was v necked, sleeveless and the dress flared. The bottom of the dress was embroidered with colorful flowers, the colors a striking contrast to the midnight blue. It was the perfect ensemble for the arts fundraiser, the dress being very out of the mold of the conventional, but Sarah had gravitated to it. Her hair was clipped up in messy bun with a sparkly barrette adorning it.

"It shouldn't be too long tonight," Collin said lightly.

"It's fine."

"You look tired," Collin said, "Are you quite sure you are feeling well?"

"Splendid."

"Sarah," Collin let out his breath. "You are in a mood."

She continued to fiddle, "Marriage to me won't be easy. Are you quite sure you are up for it?"

Those were fighting words and Collin knew it.

"I feel like I missed something," Collin said. "Care to tell me what?"

"It's my time of month."

Collin titled his head, "Typically you are moody before, not during."

She turned her head towards him, "Really?"

Collin shrugged, "You like bluntness. God knows you are accustomed to it."

She glared at him, but he had raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a lopsided grin.

"You are so charming," Sarah drawled, unleashing her Snape-ness.

"Naturally," Collin drawled back, imitating her tone.

She laughed in spite of herself. "It _is_ my time of month."

Collin's face turned serious, "Are you feeling poorly? We can turn around."

"No, we can't," she said. "But thank you for that. And I was feeling bad, but I took something. I do feel better."

"So, that wouldn't account for your silence," Collin said, reaching for her hand, threading it through his and then resting it against his knee. "What would?"

"Well…" Sarah said, slowly, "I can't really talk about it here."

"I see…" his voice was low, "We can turn around."

"Love, you are the prime minister of Britain. We cannot turn around because I'm having a bad day."

Collin's frown deepened, "It's a bad day now."

The car stopped and Sarah sighed. "I forgot there would be press here."

"We can take you around the back," Collin said.

"No," Sarah shook her head, swiftly, "There would be too much speculation." She smoothed down her hair making sure there weren't stray pieces in the front.

"You look lovely," Collin said. "I don't know how you end up looking more and more beautiful with each and every function we attend."

She gave him a smile, "I have designers now."

"It's your style, Sarah," Collin said, "and a dress is only as pretty as the one who wears it."

"You are trying to charm me again."

Collin stepped out of the car and offered his hand, Sarah stepping out.

"Is it working?"

She turned and smiled at him. "Yes."

He kissed her hand before leading her towards the crowds.

* * *

They had been not sleeping for about 30 minutes when Collin finally rolled over on his side in the dark. "When are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She sniffled and rolled onto her side facing him.

He reached out to touch her face, feeling the wet of her tears.

"I don't want to burden you."

"How can you say that?" Collin asked, wiping her tears. "You know that is rubbish."

"We were so busy tonight, having to be happy…or act happy."

"Wait a minute," Collin sat up and Sarah struggled to sit up too.

"Can you get the light?" Collin asked.

Sarah held out her hand and she felt her magic surge, yet again. "Damn it," she groaned, snapping her hand back abruptly.

Collin leaned over her to turn the switch on the lamp. He reached for both of her hands. "I need you to communicate with me now."

She flushed. "I wanted to tell you, but we were getting ready for the fundraiser and then there and I thought I could distract myself, but…"

"Just tell me."

"I gave up my wand today."

Collin titled his head, "That's a huge bit of a secret to be holding in. Why didn't you say you were doing that today?"

"I didn't know for sure that I was going to. I thought I had more time."

"I would have come with you."

"I know, but you have other duties. I didn't think I needed hand holding…and Dad and Harry were there."

"Why didn't you tell me afterwards?"

"It's emotional for me," Sarah said. "It's very emotional, actually. And we had to be out. I couldn't be emotional and I knew if I told you, I wouldn't be able to keep it together."

"Help me understand what you are feeling."

"I feel like I lost a part of me today," she said. "And since then, there have been times where I feel the pull of my magic. I can control it because I'm experienced, but the pull is painful."

"Is that what you felt just now."

"Yes. It's why little children have accidental magic. Adults can control it, but I guess because of what I gave up and what I have to control, the pull has been stronger today."

"Will it get better with time?" he asked, quietly.

"I hope."

"Is there anything you can do? Go to your father's perhaps? That was part of the bargain."

"I could," Sarah said, slowly, "But it is better if I try to cope with it, otherwise, I'd be at his house all the time. I had dueled with him before i gave my wand with him."

"Who won?" Collin asked.

"Me. First time ever actually."

"I bet your father was proud."

"He was, I think. But it was bittersweet, you know?"

"Do you regret your decision to do this with me?"

"No, I don't. Me feeling upset about this isn't a reflection on what I feel for us or our future." She took a breath. "Just tell me…you and I…this is forever."

Collin reached for her, turning her face towards him, his hand resting lightly on her cheek, "Why would you question it?"

"Draco and I weren't forever."

"That was different," Collin said.

"I can get tiresome. I do get moody. I have a temper. I have flaws, Collin."

"So do I."

"But everyone loves you."

"Everyone loves you too," Collin said.

"Not in my world."

"Then they don't truly know you. I love you."

"But will you always?"

Collin reached to cradle her face with his hands, "As long as I have breath. This is forever."

He kissed her and she responded back, passionately. They continued to kiss before Sarah pulled away.

Collin sighed, "Bad time of the month, right?"

She smiled and he leaned over to kiss her head. "I'm awake now."

"I'm sorry," she said.

He put his arm around and they cuddled back into bed. "Tell me about your magic then."

"What about it?"

"Your father told me that you could cast spells at eleven better than some adults. Tell me about it."

"Well," Sarah smiled at the memory that was forming of when she cast her first shield spell, "it all started with me being bored out of my mind one afternoon at Snape's flat at Hogwarts…"

* * *

"Sarah Grace," Snape paused in the doorway to the large room where Sarah was getting ready, Hermione and Collin's mother, Beth, and sister, Livvie, with her. The smile lit up Sarah's face.

"Hi, Dad." She smoothed shifted in her dress, making the large skirt sway. "What do you think?"

Snape didn't quite trust his voice at the moment. This wasn't the first time he gave her away, but this time was undeniably different. Sarah was undeniably different. Her joy radiated off of her and filled the room.

"You look…" Snape cleared his throat, "beautiful."

"It's the dress," Sarah said, swaying from side to side.

The long sleeved dress was simple, it fitted until the waist, which flared out into a full skirt with a cathedral train. The veil was even longer. A wreath of flowers adorned her hair, which was swept up into a bun, underneath the veil.

"You look like a fairy princess," Beth said, smiling, her eyes shining. "Collin will love it."

"You are gorgeous, Sarah," Hermione said, "I can't believe the royal family is going to be there and everything."

Sarah nodded, "And I had to meet the queen and everything. The days I prepped for that meeting…Good thing I have loads of experience with intimidating individuals. And the press hounded us until we agreed to have it on the telly. Apparently Britain wanted a grand event…with all of parliament and heads of states and royalty there."

"That's what happens when that charismatic, single brother of mine decides to become prime minister and then next breath gets engaged," Livvie teased, "the nerve of him."

Sarah laughed, "This is just the beginning, isn't it?"

Beth reached over to give Sarah's hand a squeeze, "The best of beginnings, Sarah, darling," She turned to the rest of the women, "Let's give her a few minutes with her father before we leave for the church."

The three women slipped out of the room.

Snape reached out his hand and Sarah came to him, taking it. He squeezed her hand, "It's not the dress. It is you."

"What about me?" she asked, curiously.

"You are radiant," Snape said, honestly. "I have never seen you this happy. Two months ago, I wouldn't have thought it possible."

"Collin helped me," Sarah said, quietly, "he really is my best friend."

"And are you content with what you are giving up?"

She nodded, "I am."

"Then I am very happy for you," Snape said, squeezing her hand again, "Come, it's time to go."

Sarah let go of his hand to reach for her bouquet of flowers.

Snape looked over at her long train, "Sarah Grace, how in Merlin's name will you fit in the car?"

"You are always so practical," She giggled, "the dress scrunches and then when Hermione gets there, she will smooth it out."

"There won't be much room."

She laughed again and then leaned up and kissed his cheek, "I love you. Thanks for adopting me…all those years ago."

"I would do it again," Snape said, "do you know that?"

"In spite everything…all the pain we have gone through…would you really?"

"In a moment."

"I'm so thankful. You saved my life, you know that, right?"

Snape laughed and Sarah looked at his quizzically, "Why are you laughing?"

"You really don't know?" Snape mused, "I never technically saved your life…the truth is you actually saved my life."

"I forgot about that for a moment," Sarah said, honestly, "I was talking _metaphorically_."

"You did that too," Snape said. "Literally, metaphorically…"

She looked at him, surprised, Snape rarely shared his emotions. He had always prompted and prodded for her emotions, striving for that openness with her, where she could literally tell him anything of her worries and struggles, but it wasn't reciprocal…although she supposed that was just him being the parent in the relationship. But it was times like these that made her wonder at the marvelousness of their relationship and how far they have come.

"How did I save your life metaphorically?" She questioned.

"If you must know…" Snape's voice cracked every so slightly, "You taught me how to love again."

Sarah's tears flowed freely after that. "But I gave you such a hard time though."

"Not truly," Snape said, "And if you were perfect, I don't think I would have loved you as much…or understood you so well. But come. Enough of all of this," Snape said, gruffly, "It is time."

They walked out to the car. Sarah's dress did manage to fit into the car, barely.

Sarah looked out the window, "Dad, there are so many people here," she said, aghast. "What are all these people doing here?"

"Does this surprise you? They love you and Collin."

"How do you know that?"

"I read the papers," Snape said, "and I get accosted on a daily basis when I am in the village….for first hand news of you."

The car stopped and Snape stepped out and offered his hand, Sarah handing her bouquet to Hermione, who was waiting for her and then took his hand, gracefully exiting the car.

Sarah looked out and gave a smile and a quick wave before taking her bouquet back and reaching for Snape's hand.

They walked up the steps of the massive church. "You have come a long way from being the little girl playing tricks with the Weasley twins."

"That's so true," She smiled at him, "Fix my veil, please."

Snape covered her face with the blusher. "Are you ready?"

She nodded and Snape offered her arm, leading her down the long aisle to where Collin was standing not quite at the end, he and she deciding to break tradition and make the final journey together.

Sarah's eyes were fixed on him, oblivious to all else.

They reached him and Snape took her hand and put it in Collin's extended hand, so her hand was over his, "Take care of her," he murmured.

"I promise you I will," Collin said, nodding. Snape stepped away to walk behind them. Collin turned to where he was facing in her direction, sideswiping her large skirt.

She turned her head to look at him, but didn't say a word, only slip her fingers down in between his. Collin looked at her and for a moment, all of it swept away and it was just them.

"Hi, Sarah," Collin's smile was wide, but tears had sprung to his eyes. He leaned over. "Are you ready for this?"

"To marry you?" Sarah said, leaned her head against his, her own tears forming, "I think I have always been ready, Collin."

He whispered again them not moving yet, "This is going to be an extraordinary adventure for both of us. And there is no one I would rather do this with than you. I love you."

"I love you too," she responded, through her tears.

They walked down the short aisle to the steps leading to the alter, curtsying and bowing to the queen before walking up the steps to their future.

 **A/N** : Time jump in the next chapter...


	20. Four Years Later

_A/N:_ Sorry for the delay. It's hard balancing everything and finding time to write in the midst of a super busy demanding schedule. Time jump in this chapter...love to know what you all think!

 _Four Years Later_

Sarah Snape-Black Stevens took several deep breaths, her shaky hands on the steering wheel in the driveway to Snape Manor.

The snow had caught her by surprise, but she finally arrived safely. Though as she was sitting in the driveway, she couldn't help quell the nerves in her stomach. She was already upended by the driving conditions and even more so now that she was at last here.

She reached for her phone, dialing her husband's number.

"Hi, are you there?" Collin's voice filled her phone.

"Yes, finally," she bit her lip. "I'm sitting in the car."

"I saw on the weather map that there was a storm. I was worried."

"I know," Sarah stared at the snow falling, "It was a bit harrowing. I was a nervous wreck."

"I know you must have been. I'm so sorry I can't be there," Collin said, his voice low.

"I wish you could be here," her voice was low in return.

"The summit is only three more days. I'll be there for the holidays."

"I know the summit is important."

"It is," Collin said. "Unfortunately, this is just another one of the many sacrifices you have made for queen and country these past few years."

"It's not that much of a sacrifice," she said, "I'm proud of the good work you are doing, love."

"Then what it is?" Collin pressed, his voice tender. "You seem out of sorts."

"How can you tell?"

"I've become quite adept at reading your tone over the phone. God knows I have had enough practice at it," Collin said, wryly, "What is the matter, Sarah?"

"I'm just nervous about this."

There was silence before Collin said, "They are your family and your friends. The amount of time truly doesn't matter."

"I'm just not one of them anymore."

More silence. "But you still are," Collin said. "Deep down, you know that's true."

"It's more complicated that. There are going to be professors here I haven't seen since I married you. And the nature of the celebration…I just feel like I must be a disappointment to everyone."

"Your father most of all?" Collin asked.

She let our her breath, "Maybe."

"I know that's how you feel, Sarah," Collin said, "but I don't believe that's true."

"I just think people are just going to be watching me all night to see how I am different."

"Darling," Collin's voice was patient, "people watch you all the time."

"Yes, but…"

Collin interrupted her, "regardless of how you feel and I'm not saying it isn't valid, this is your father's night. Naturally, he and Andromeda both want you there to celebrate. You are his only child."

"I know," she sighed again.

"Are you still sitting in the car?"

"Yes. It's so cozy in here."

Collin chuckled, "It will be cozy in there."

"I'm late though."

"Since when is that new?" Collin teased her. "They won't care. Severus is probably worried half out of his mind with the snow and you driving. Go in and see your father. I guarantee once you are back with Snape, you'll be fine."

She knew he was right. "Okay. You're right. As usual. Bloody annoying you are."

Collin laughed. "I love you, Sarah."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "I love you too. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Not too much longer. 'll email you tonight. Unfortunately, I have to go too."

"Thanks for answering your phone."

"Always."

"Goodbye then, Collin."

"Goodbye, my love."

She took another breath before tossing her phone in her purse and turning off the car and opening the door. She shut it, pulled her coat more closely around her and went to the boot to grab her suitcase. She carried it with both hands up the walk, the drifts getting higher by the minute. She shivered as she heaved her suitcase up the steps and knocked with the frozen knocker.

A few minutes later, the old door creaked open.

"Oh, thank, Merlin, you are here!" Andromeda Snape declared, "We were all so concerned, especially with the snow. Come in, come in! You poor dear. You are frozen."

Sarah felt herself being pulled in the door, her suitcase taken from her hands and her coat slipped off. The manor was noisy.

"I'm so sorry I am late, Andi. I feel awful."

"Think nothing of it," Andromeda said, "Your father will be so relieved. I had to practically stick him and Harry to the chairs. They both wanted to come and answer the door. We have only served the first course anyway."

"I need to change my clothes," she said, "and fix my hair. I'm a mess."

"Of course. I sent your suitcase to your room. Go on. But hurry. I won't be able to keep Sev entertaining his guest for much longer. He is so eager to see you."

Sarah ran upstairs to freshen up. She pulled on the long sleeve, navy blue lace blouse, cropped short and her high waisted flared silver skirt. She french braided her hair into an elegant, but artsy side braid, before slipping on navy heels.

She stopped in the entrance to the doorway of the dining room. The long table was filled. She didn't remember it being so big or this room for that matter. She suspected Andi had it magically enlarged for the occasion. There were so many people here. Her stomach twisted as the room turned its attention to her.

"There she is!" Harry's voice rose above the others as he stood up from his down the table.

"The wandering traveler home at last," Lupin grinned at her, standing as well. He was closer to her than Harry and she moved instinctively towards him, his arms coming around her in an welcoming embrace. He released her but not before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "And looking lovely as ever might I add. I'd wager to say more like your mum every day., eh?" He gave her an affectionate squeeze of her shoulder.

"That's so lovely of you to say, Remus," Sarah said, smiling, "I'm sorry I am late to the celebration." She felt Remus gently nudge her forward as she moved towards Harry. She gave Ginny a hug before Harry held out his hands to her.

"Been a while, Paddy," Harry said, pulling her into him and kissing her cheek. "If anything will get you home with all of us, it is this."

"You act like I have been gone for so long," Sarah blushed, because she knew it was pretty succinctly the truth. "I'm still here. I still call."

"It has been a while since we have seen you. It's been two…" Harry looked at Ginny.

"Two and a _half,_ " Hermione corrected from across the table.

"Two and a half years," Harry poked at her. "Far too long for you to ignore your oldest, dearest friends who knew you when you were just marginally famous," he teased.

"Okay, it _has_ been a while," Sarah looked across the table at Draco who was also standing, his expression impassive. She forced a smile. "And it was only famous by association might I add…the same as it is now."

Harry laughed at her, "I see."

"But this isn't about me," she searched the table before meeting Snape's eyes. He was sitting in the customary head of the table. She patted Harry's arm, before sideswiping him and walked to the head of the table, Mrs. Weasley rubbing her arm in greeting as she passed, to where Snape was standing.

"Dad. Congratulations."

She was pulled into Snape's arms and she could feel him breathe a sigh of relief.

"I was worried with the snow and all," Snape kissed the side of her head and then pulled her away to survey her. "My daughter in the flesh…Lupin is right. More like your mum every day."

"Our local celebrity," Harry piped up.

"Alright, that's enough teasing," Snape looked over at Harry, giving him a look. "She's here now."

"And we are ever so glad," Andromeda declared from the opposite end of the table.

"Come and sit here, Sarah," Snape pulled out the chair to his right, "We saved this seat for you. And we have only had the first course. You are not _that_ tardy and with the snow, I suppose I can forgive you… _this time_."

She chuckled under her breath because she knew Snape was jabbing at her even though he himself had told Harry to stop.

She stopped briefly to reach to squeeze Hermione's hand, sharing a warm smile with her friend, before taking a seat next to Ron.

Snape pushed in the chair for her and Sarah placed the napkin on her lap. She reached to take a sip of the white wine to her right.

"How are you, Ron?" Sarah asked, surveying the room around her. Lupin, Andromeda, Narcissa, Draco, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Trelawny, Professor Sinistra , Hagrid and a few other people she didn't recognize. The table was full.

"Good," Ron said. "The aurors are keeping Harry and I busy."

"I'm sure," Sarah took another sip.

"Do you keep up with it?" Ron asked.

"Up with what?" Sarah asked, distractedly. She was wondering where Draco's wife…and father were.

"With the wizarding papers."

"I can't say I have," Sarah answered, forcing her mind back to Ron.

"Really?" Ron looked at her skeptically.

"No."

"Not at all. Not once these four years?"

She laughed nervously, "Why is that so hard to believe, Ron?"

"You have just always been in the middle of everything."

"Not always by choice," Sarah said, tugging at the end of her hair.

"I suppose you are still in the middle of things…just their things. What is it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Them."

"You have been to Hermione's parents home, Ron. It's like this except without magic."

"Do you cheat any?"

" _Cheat_?"

"You know…use your magic to clean or wash dishes or…"

Sarah glanced at Snape, who was listening intently.

"You know I don't have my wand."

"That never stopped you before, Sarah. Bloody hell, you produced wicked spells without your wand."

"No, I haven't cheated," She said, reaching for her wine again.

"Not even a little here and there?"

"Is this an interrogation, Auror Weasley?" Snape drawled, interrupting their conversation.

"Ronald," Hermione leaned over, "Talk about something else," she urged.

"What else is there?" Ronald asked.

"The weather for instance," Hermione instructed.

Draco snorted and Sarah caught his eye from down the table. His expression became proper again, but he knew that she had seen it. He gave her a small wink. She smiled.

Severus cleared his throat and leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Did you call Collin to tell him that you got here?"

"I did, thank you," Sarah nodded.

"Good," Snape nodded in approval.

"Where is Collin?" Harry asked.

"There is a European leader's summit," Sarah responded, "He is very sorry he can't be here."

"Such a shame he couldn't change his schedule to be here. It's quite a momentous occasion, though I doubt he can quite gasp the importance of it to us," Narcissa said, from Draco's side.

"He's only busy changing the world for the better," Hermione retorted, immediately, not allow Sarah time to retort. "Nothing important there….world peace and all…it's so overrated."

Snape cleared his throat every so slightly, catching Narcissa's eye in a warning.

"Hermione has always been a fan," Ron explained, almost apologetically.

"He has been brilliant as prime minister," Hermione said. "And Sarah has too for that matter."

"Your roots must make you more attune to such things," Narcissa said, her nose titling slightly upwards.

"I'm a fan too, actually," Harry nodded, seriously.

"What is he doing exactly, Sarah?" Mr. Weasley leaned forward. "I'm curious to know."

"Well," Sarah took another long sip, "they are strategizing about different topics that affect all the European nations, world peace included."

"And what exactly does that mean?" Mr. Weasley pressed.

The conversation changed as Sarah explained exactly what that involved to Mr. Weasley. Then she had to go over the details of driving in the snow and how the muggle contraption handled it. She was aware of her professors looking at her with sideways glances as she explained, the conversation somehow attuned to her even thought the table was full.

Eager to change the subject, Sarah asked about how baby Rose was. Ron's whole demeanor changed as he gushed about his two month old daughter, who was currently sleeping upstairs. Sarah smiled at how charming Ron was as a father, which led Harry to tell a story about James Sirius's antics. As she looked at her friends seated close to her, which she knew was Andromeda's doing, she realized how well they looked. Parenthood agreed with them. And then she felt a pang…the same pang deep in her heart, when she realized what life had still denied her and Collin. And then another stab of longing at how chummy the four of them were- her best friends since childhood…and yet, she wasn't a part of that anymore. She longed for that camaraderie.

Snape leaned forward to get her attention, once the conversation had changed to the four of her friends talking about their kids and about the latest plans they had for next week.

"You are picking at your food," he said. "Are you not hungry?"

"It's delicious."

"I'm sorry we couldn't welcome you home with a quiet evening the three of us."

"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier," Sarah said.

"I just arrived home yesterday myself," Snape said. "We'll have a few days of solitude though Potter has invited himself…and Ron and Hermione…and Lupin and Teddy for that matter to help us decorate in a few days."

"That sounds nice."

"And maybe you can get some rest," Snape said, frowning, "You look shattered."

"It was the drive," Sarah said, "the car did keep swerving"

Snape inhaled sharply, "I don't like you driving by yourself."

"I don't have a choice," Sarah said. "Plus, I'm a brave girl, remember? It's my strongest attribute."

"There is no denying that, but there is fine line between bravery and recklessness, which we have very much learned these past few years."

"I couldn't miss this occasion."

"I would have apparated with you here."

"I didn't even think of that."

"Truly?"

"Didn't even cross my mind."

"That's interesting," Snape murmured, but Mrs. Weasley had asked him a question, distracting him.

After dinner, Andromeda stood, "I think is time for toasts," she declared, heartedly.

"Andi," Snape warned, wearily, "I thought we agreed none of that."

"We have to toast you, Severus. This is your occasion," Andi said, "And I didn't agree to anything. You just thought I did."

Sarah smiled at how perfectly suited Andi was for Snape.

"Now, who is first?" Andi asked.

"It should be you, Andi," Lupin said.

"No, no," Andi said, "I'll go but someone else start." She looked over to Sarah.

"It really should be you," Sarah said, a slight quiver in her voice that both Sev and Draco both recognized. She need a moment to gather her thoughts instead of coming up with something on the spot.

"Or Potter," Draco spoke up. "He is the chosen one. The savior. Auror in charge now."

"Harry," Mr. Weasley spoke up, "No one better."

"Go on, Potter," Minerva said.

Harry rose, glancing at Ginny, who nodded her approval.

"Well, I may have not had the best experience with Severus as _my_ professor to speak of,"

There was an appreciative swell of laughter from everyone at the table, especially the Hogwarts Professors.

"but" Harry continued, "in these years since Hogwarts, I've been grateful for his mentorship and his friendship…and I have time and time again been reminded of the great man he is. He is wise, thoughtful and gives the best advice…even if it is sometimes dispensed still in quite the snarky manner. He is a brilliant and blood talented wizard, both tactically and practically. And he knows how to maneuver people to get exactly what he wants…"

More laughter filled the room.

"All in all, there is no one better for this job to lead the next generation of students forward. In fact," Harry paused, his glass half raised, "as many of you know…well, all of you know, Ginny and I are expecting our second son in a few months…and we would be honored…Severus…with your permission if…" he paused, his voice choking for a moment.

Sarah looked between Harry and Snape, curiously. She wondered what all the sudden had gotten Harry so emotional. Snape's expression was neutral as usual, but she could tell he was curious as well.

"We would like very much if you and Andromeda would consent to be his godparents…and…" he cleared his throat again, "we would like to name him after two of the greatest men…and headmasters Hogwarts has ever known."

There was silence and Sarah's eyes teared, her heart welling with emotion. So many emotions flooded her- she wasn't sure if she could do this right now. The stabs of longing and pain were now pressing down on her, making it hard for her to breathe. Her face flushed again.

"Potter," Severus's voice held his shock, partly from Harry's announcement, but partly from catching his daughter's expression out of the corner of his eye. He could feel her emotion even though she made quite sure that she hid it from her face once she has realized what she was doing. Trying to focus, he turned his attention back to Harry, "Are you sure, Harry? I'm sure there must be someone more worthy than me."

"Quite sure. There is no one more worthy, Severus. Albus Severus Potter. I can't promise he will be as compliant as you might like, if his brother is any indication, but with you as his godfather, we are certain…eventually, he will grow into his name."

"I can attest from first hand knowledge that Severus is an excellent godfather," Draco spoke up again, but his eyes were not on Severus, they were on Sarah. "The boy is lucky."

Sarah licked her dry lips, "And he is a superior father…always have been. The newest Potter addition is very lucky with Snape and Andi on his side," she added, her voice cracking and she swallowed hard,"There really is none better."

Severus reached over to put his hand on her arm. "I'm very honored, Harry," he said. "This was unexpected, but I thank you. I will endeavor to be worthy of this honor."

"Let's toast then…" Andi declared, "To little Albus Severus Potter…and his godfather, the new Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry….Severus Snape!"

"To Severus!"

"Here here."

* * *

The fire was roaring in Snape's study as she found sanctuary there after dinner. She sat on the ottoman, staring at the fire for a few minutes, her heart full.

"May I join you?"

She startled and turned. "Draco. Hello."

"May I join you?" he repeated.

"Of course," she said, him pouring two glasses of brandy from Snape's decanter and sending her one before taking a seat on the couch.

"What are you doing in here all alone?" he asked.

"Probably the same as you are," she shrugged.

"Hiding it is then," Draco toasted her. "I know this is Snape's night and generally I am more tolerant of all of this for Uncle Sev's and Aunt Andi's sake, but Potter gushing over Snape was a little much."

"Jealous are we?" she asked lightly.

"Aren't you?"

She took a sip and then cradled the drank in her hands, "I'm not jealous of Harry and Dad's relationship."

Draco studied her lazily, "I saw your face when Potter made his announcement. You were feeling something you wanted to hide."

She stared at her drink. "Where is your wife?"

Draco took a long sip, "Definitely hiding something. You are deflecting now."

"Well?" she titled her head.

"I'll humor you then," Draco raised his drink to her again, "We are divorcing."

She nearly dropped her drink, "Dad never said."

"He doesn't know yet."

"I'm sorry," she said, quietly. "That's hard."

"I suppose we both would know," Draco said, wryly, "but in this case, not really. I should have never married her to begin with."

"Then why did you?"

"You may have been out of all of this for four years, but surely you don't have to ask me why."

She let out her breath, "No, I don't."

"It's for the best. It was a mutual decision, one that is agreeable to both of us. Father is livid, especially since he hasn't gotten the Malfoy heir yet from me, but he'll get over it in due time," Draco said. "Now, what about you? I bared my soul to you."

" _That_ was baring your soul?" Sarah giggled.

"The _Malfoy_ way…" he retorted, haughtily, but she knew he wasn't offended.

She laughed again, "Okay, I see quite clearly now. Very generous of you, Malfoy."

Draco laughed with her.

"I haven't heard you laugh all night," he commended.

"That's not true."

"It is. Potter was telling an insipid story about his spawn and you chuckled, but didn't laugh. No really. Not like this."

Sarah went over to sit next to him, putting her drink down on the drink stand, and then sliding her feet up on the coffee table.

"You really have been gone long if you think Uncle Sev wouldn't dress you down for that."

She laughed again, "I'll take my chances. You know what they say?"

"What?" Draco asked, "You are never to old for a good thrashing?"

She laughed harder, "No," she poked her finger into his arm, "I was more thinking that absence makes the heart growing fonder."

"Oh, that one," Draco chuckled and took another drink, "I still think it is an invitation for a smack."

"Maybe if it was you doing it," Sarah raised an eyebrow. "For me it's about a 50% chance."

"Well, you _are_ his little girl," Draco admitted, "Always have been."

She smiled, but tears sprung again to her eyes.

Draco looked over at her, surprised at the sudden shift in her mood. "What is it, Black?" his voice was so gentle and she realized for the first time all night here in Snape's study with one of her oldest friends, she felt completely at ease.

"Oh, it's nothing." But as she said it, the tears began to fall. "Bother."

"It's clearly something."

"It's just…" she wiped the tears with the back of her hands, "I can't help but feel…that…I should be naming children after Snape."

"I thought it might be something like that," Draco admitted.

"You didn't!"

"I did," Draco said. "It makes perfect sense knowing you."

"Yeah, well," Sarah shrugged, "I may be away from this all, but I'll always hold with me the repercussions of that life."

"Bellatrix's curse. Do you think it has anything to do with it?"

Sarah shrugged, "Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes I think so. Sometimes I think I'll never escape her."

"You should tell Snape."

"What can he do?"

"He can do what Snape does best. Listen…console…advise."

"Yes," Sarah picked a piece of lint off her lace shirt. "he does do that well."

"The muggle being good to you about it?" Draco asked, lightly, but the intense look didn't match his voice.

"Of course," She said, quietly, "the best. But he wants to be a father. And I want him to be a father- he would be wonderful. So, I feel doubly bad that I can't give him what I know he desires. I feel like I am failing him."

"You shouldn't though," Draco answered. "You are more than just your ability to procreate. I'm sorry if I had a role in you feeling that your value in a marriage is tied up in that."

She paused, knowing how much it took Draco to say those words. Her voice was hoarse was emotion, "Thank you for that."

"And I do hope it works out for you, Black." Draco continued, "but regardless, you have stayed away too long. Snape doesn't dwell on it, but he feels your absence."

"He has Andromeda though."

"It's not the same, and you know it."

"I suppose I do."

"Why _do_ you stay away?"

"Part of it is just because my schedule is so busy and I am only available to see Dad here not at Hogwarts."

"And the other part?"

"I don't belong here anymore."

Draco finished his drink, "Or maybe you don't want to admit that you still feel that you do."

She didn't say anything and Draco stood. "They are going to notice we are gone if we stay here much longer." He offered his hand and she took it, him pulling her put off the couch.

"You look pretty tonight, Black."

"That's kind, Draco, thank you."

He squeezed her hand, keeping her hand, linking the two of them together. "Are you happy?"

"Overall, very," she said, "and if I am not, it is more a result of loneliness from Collin's schedule or frustration at still not having a family."

He still held her hand, "Do you miss your magic?"

She paused, weighing her response. "When I first married Collin, my desire to use my magic was consuming. But then life became busy and the more I didn't use it, the more desensitized I became. I'm just a muggle now."

He squeezed her hand before letting ago, "You, Sarah, have never been a muggle. You are a witch. You may try to deny it because you have to, but it's still a part of you. Don't give up your uniqueness to conform."

"That's not what I have done."

"I know it is still affects you more than you are letting on…"

"How do you know?"

"By the causes you choose to champion….children's mental health…orphans. It's because of him that you are doing what you do. Because you still care…and because we are still with you."

"That's quite insightful, Malfoy. How do you know all of that?"

"I keep up with the papers. We all do."

"Since when have you been interested with the muggle world?" she asked.

"I'm interested in any world that you are in," Draco said, his voice low. "We are still friends, right?"

She nodded. "Thank you for the flowers…every year…it really does mean so much to me that you still do that even after I married Collin and left this life."

"I didn't know whether to still send them…but it just felt right to. I'm sorry if that has caused problems between you and…"

She shook her head, swiftly, interrupting him, "he understands. You and I have a history…even beyond Orion. And he knows that I need to feel that someone still remembers my child….our child. I didn't know how to reply without using magic and it felt impersonal to send the message through Dad. I'm sorry for that."

"That's alright," Draco smiled at her, "I figured as much."

"Can you believe he would be five years old?"

"It's hard to," Draco admitted. "I don't think I would have been a very good father."

"We were both young, but I think you would have been such a good father. Don't belittle yourself."

"I'm too selfish," Draco said.

"Well, now," Sarah reached over to touch his arm, lightly, "A selfish person wouldn't send flowers to his ex wife every anniversary of their child's death. A selfish person wouldn't be working so hard at the ministry to try to better the lives of countless wizards and witches that don't have what you have. And Dad has mentioned your activism on the board of Hogwarts to make sure students get the best education possible regardless of their blood status and in spite of your father's objections. You have found your voice, Draco. And it is hardly selfish."

Draco smiled at her, tenderly, "Do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Don't stay away so long. It's not the same around here without you."

She nodded, and then impulsively reaching over to give him a hug. "I missed you too."

* * *

"She was in there with Draco, was she?" Snape said as he undressed.

"Yes," Andi rubbed lotion on her hands, "For a while. They were just leaving when I got there. But they looked like they had been having a serious conversation."

"Was she upset?"

"She was teary," Andi admitted. "But that isn't necessarily Draco's fault."

"Something is not quite right," Severus said. "She was upset during dinner and then she sequesters herself in my study with Draco? Do you think she and Collin are having problems?"

Andromeda adjusted her robe and reached for her hair brush, "Severus, darling, I sincerely doubt that Sarah would turn to Draco if her marriage was struggling. She hasn't spoken to him in years."

"She was distant with Potter and the whole gang. She wasn't herself at all tonight."

"I think she felt out of place," Andi offered, looking at him in her mirror.

"That's absurd, Andromeda," Snape snapped.

Andi raised an eyebrow at him, but remained silent.

"This is her home," Snape continued, frustrated, magically sending his clothes to the wash and reaching for his t-shirt and pajama bottoms. He tugged on the shirt followed by his pants. "This has been her home since she was eleven years old."

"She hasn't visited Snape Manor in over two years, Sev."

"I cannot understand why not. I simply do not understand her anymore. She calls and we talk nightly, but when it comes down to it, I can't get through to her with the things that really matter."

"What things are those? Do you mean her magic?" Andi asked, putting her hair brush and turning around. "Is that what all of this is about?"

"It's not healthy for her to just sequester it like this," Snape grunted, sitting on the end of the bed.

"Regardless, it is her choice," Andi said, quietly, her arms draped over the back of her chair. "Like it or not, it is her magic. It is her choice."

Severus groaned, rubbing his hands over his face, wearily.

"I just…find it difficult to relate to her now," he admitted. "Even in our darkest times…after I killed Dumbledore..after she married Draco and was being harassed by the Dark Lord…even then, I knew how advise because I had been there too. I had a frame of reference and honestly, there was nothing she could do that deep down I wouldn't be able to understand her motivates and know the best way to direct her…but now…she is so different."

"She looks good though, Sev, doesn't she?"

"She is a beautiful woman," Severus said. "She does look so much like Gracie. And she was warm with Lupin…"

"And with Harry," Andi said, "at first."

"So what happened in the middle of dinner?"

"I'm not sure," Andi got into bed and Snape did the same. He flicked off the light with a wave of his hand.

Andi settled in next to him and Snape sighed and put his arm around her, pulling her against his waist. "I'm sorry I snapped at you just now."

"That's alright, darling."

"Thank you for tonight, love. You spoil me far more than I deserve."

"I'm so proud of you and becoming Headmaster again. It's an amazing accomplishment. And Hogwarts needs a steady hand. It will thrive under your guidance."

"That means the world to me, Andromeda."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you with the toasts."

Severus stilled his hand which was rubbing the small of Andromeda's back. "Oh Merlin."

"What is it?"

"Do you think she is upset that Harry named the boy after me?"

Andi paused, "maybe, but Harry named James after Sirius and Sarah was fine with that."

"He asked her, I think," Snape said, "she looked shocked. Do you not think he talked to her about it before?"

"It wouldn't seem so. Perhaps, Harry thought since she didn't have a problem with James Sirius, she wouldn't mind Albus Severus."

"Don't you think it is odd Sarah and Collin haven't began their family?"

"Yes, frankly, for as clearly love struck they are with each other all these years later…it would have to be a purposeful choice."

Snape frowned in the dark, "I don't want to assume, but with Bellatrix's curse, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that she would have difficulty conceiving. I wish I could just ask."

"Why don't you ask her instead if Harry's announcement bothered her?"

Severus winced, "I finally got her here, Andromeda for the holidays."

"She loves you so much, Severus. You know that. There were times tonight that she moved towards you to sit or stand next to you. She finds strength from you."

"I know she is happy with Collin. But I don't want her to give up things that are important to her. I don't want her to create so much distance that when she wants to come back, she won't be able to."

"She'll always be able to come back to us," Andi said.

"Of course, she will. It's just I am afraid she won't. I lost Gracie and she never came back until she had to."

"Sarah is not Grace. I wouldn't worry." Andromeda yawned, "I'm aren't going to solve this tonight."

"Of course, you are right," Snape leaned down to kiss her lips. "Sleep well then."

"Goodnight, Sev," But even as she said those word, Andi knew that sleep would be a long time coming for Severus.

* * *

She was siting crossed legged on the bed, typing away on her laptop, when Andi knocked on her door.

"Come on in," Sarah called, continuing to type.

Andromeda poked her head into the door. "Do you have a moment?"

"Sure," Sarah said. She clicked send to her email and then closed her laptop, sliding it over on the bed, "What's going on?"

Andi sat next to her on her bed. "You went to bed early without saying anything."

"I didn't mean to offend," Sarah said, quickly, "I was tired. And I wanted to call Collin. And people were still lingering."

"Of course, you didn't offend any of us," Andi said, "I was just concerned that maybe you were upset. You had talked to Draco for a while in the study."

"Draco didn't upset me," Sarah said. "We were just catching up."

Andi nodded, "You were quiet with the rest of us though."

"Do you think?" Sarah chewed on her thumb, "I hope I wasn't being unsociable. I wasn't intentional, Andi. Was Dad upset?"

"Your father is concerned about you, naturally. But that is isn't abnormal. We just want you to make sure you feel at home here with us. We are your family. And Harry and all the rest…they are still your family too."

"Of course."

"But," Andi looked at her knowingly, "You still felt out of place."

"I did a little," she admitted. "I missed Collin."

"Since when do you need Collin to buffer you against your family?" Andi asked, her forehead creasing in worry.

She shrugged, "It's been a while since we have all gotten together…since your wedding to Dad."

"Your father has felt it keenly, Sarah," Andi said. "The distance."

"I didn't mean for it to be so long," she said, quietly. "I call him every night."

"I know," Andromeda patted her hand, "It's not the same as you being here with us. We have both missed you. Especially on the holidays."

"Is this your way of telling me to be a better daughter?" she asked, fiddling with the end of her french braid that she had left in from last night.

"I would never tell you that," Andi said, "But if there is a reason that you have stayed away, then maybe I could help…"

She looked down at the bedspread.

"Is it me?" Andi asked. "It's been since I married your father, you stayed away."

"No," Sarah raised her head, swiftly. "Of course, not. I'm thrilled you married Dad. He's so happy with you."

Andi studied her, "Do I remind you of Bellatrix any?"

"Bella?" Sarah frowned, "A little. In moments. There is a likeness, of course, but…no, not really."

"Do you still think of her?"

She cleared her throat, "When I have jet lag, I have night terrors some. Not often. Just some. It's her. And him."

Andi reached over to touch her hand lightly, "You should tell your father. He would want to know."

"There is nothing he could do. It's happened for years now."

"He could instruct you on clearing your mind before bed, especially when you are jet lagged."

"I could," she said slowly, "but I am dealing with it."

"Then, what is it?"

She let out a long breath. "When I'm here at Snape Manor, I feel Dad's disappointment."

"His disappointment?" Andi asked, surprised, "What do you mean?"

"He tries to convince me to take my wand- every visit he does."

"I see," Andi responded, frowning, contemplatively, "I think he just wanted to make sure you weren't suppressing your magic too much. It wasn't a sign of his disappointment. He is enormously proud of you. He keeps every single newspaper he reads about you. Did you know that?"

Sarah blushed, "No. I haven't done all that much."

"You have," Andi smiled at her, "Collin was right. You have found your place. You have done a lot of good. And Severus is so proud of how poised and strong you are…and the causes you have championed…mental health in children for instance. It shows what big heart you have."

She swallowed hard, "That's sweet."

"He wants you to confide in him, Sarah," Andi said, her voice low, "He is determined to give you privacy, but Severus has always had a keen sense about people. He knows you were upset last night and he can't figure out why."

"It's not about him- I'm so happy that he is going to be Headmaster again. It was what was supposed to be from the beginning."

"But was it something?"

She nodded.

"Won't you just come out and tell him?" Andi asked. "It is so much better to get things out into the open."

"You are right," she sighed again and then side, swing her legs over, "I need some coffee."

"Your father is having his in the study. Why don't you join him?" Andi suggested, lightly.

"I do love Dad, Andi."

"You have always had such a strong connection with each other," Andi said. "Your relationship with him is truly something special."

"I'm sorry if I haven't been the best daughter."

Andi reached to touch her cheek, "I'm not the one who have to apologize to," she said, "and I think you just need to give up your fear of being a disappointment. The only way that you will truly drive a wedge between Severus and yourself if you choose to. There may be times you disagree, but he will always try to understand. And he has such a good listening ear. It's one of his best qualities."

"I know," Sarah smiled at her, "Thank for the talk."

"I'll be up here if you two need me."

"I can't blow up anything anymore when upset," Sarah mused, "I think we'll be just fine."

Andi laughed and then shooed her downstairs.

* * *

At Snape's allowance, Sarah came into the study. "I heard you have coffee in here."

"I do," Snape said, "Come sit."

Sarah looked around the room. "May I sit on your ottoman?"

"Of course you may," Snape swung his feet down and gestured for her to sit. It was the spot Sarah always sat in when they had to have a _serious_ talk and proximity was needed.

"Coffee now or later?" he asked, his eyes never leaving her.

"Later, before I lose my nerve," she said, sliding into the spot and fiddling absently with her red cowl neck sweater and then tugging slightly on your braid.

"Is it that bad?"

"Andi had a talk with me this morning."

"Hum," Snape frowned, "Did she now?"

"Yes," Sarah swallowed hard.

"She probably shouldn't have interfered," Snape said, quietly.

"No, she wasn't interfering. I didn't really express myself well last night and I'm sorry for that. Harry gave a beautiful toast in your honor and I should have been able to do the same."

"Do you think my feelings are so sensitive that it bothered me?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Sarah shook her head with a small smile, "I suspect it bothered me more than you. I just wanted to say the right thing, especially in that moment. And usually I can think on the whim, but this was too important to me not to have it thought out. I didn't think there would have been toasts. I usually come prepared for social events."

"It's not a social event," Severus said, frowning, "most of the people were your family or people you have known for years."

"True," Sarah said, slowly. "Anyway, regardless…I just wanted you to know that…I am so very excited for you becoming Headmaster again. And I know you will be brilliant, though I dare say I feel sorry for the student that defies you," she made a dramatic, worrisome face.

"I have always had excellent control over my Slytherins," Snape looked at her, amused at the face she just made.

"And thank God I was sorted into Gryffindor."

"I was still your guardian."

"Yes, but between you and me…now that it is years later… McGonagall hid quite a bit from you at times."

"That I believe," Snape said, "Glad you didn't have me both as your head and your guardian, eh?"

Sarah smirked, "My poor hand wouldn't have been able to take it."

"How many times was that? _Two_?" Snape commented, dryly, "You are being so dramatic."

"You try having someone smack your hand and see how you like it."

Snape smirked at her, "Merlin knows you deserved it far more than I gave."

She nodded, "That is the truth of it. You extended grace to me more times than naught…" She paused, "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think I have been a very good daughter to you since I married Collin."

"Is this about the toast? I thought we just established it didn't bother me."

"No, it's about everything."

Severus shifted, "It's natural that you would rely more on your husband than me."

"It doesn't mean I love you less. It just means…it's hard for me to come here sometimes."

"Why is that?"

"There is a part of me…when I am here…that feels guilty that I turned my back on so much that you have taught me."

"Hopefully I have taught you more than just spells."

"That's quite true. You…you aren't disappointed in me?"

"Of course not. This is not what I anticipated of you, but I am adjusting my expectations. I still think you should take up your wand when here."

"It's just easier on me emotionally if I don't."

"I can understand. It think you are wrong, but it is really your call." He paused.

"Wait," Sarah held her hand, "Is that it?"

"You are an adult. It's your choice," Severus reassured her.

"It doesn't bother you though?"

"Make no mistake. It bothers me. But you shouldn't desire my approval."

"But I do."

"I approve of you, just not every decision you make. That doesn't mean I don't support you fully. I just want the best for you. I worry about you."

She nodded, "I get that, Dad. I really do. I just need you to trust me that I know what I am doing."

"And that is precisely what I am trying to do. Now, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why were you upset last night?"

"Hum…" she paused and shifted, "well…it's not what you think."

"How do you know what I am thinking?"

"Well, Draco thought I was jealous of your and Harry's relationship."

"That thought didn't cross my mind. But you were upset…I just couldn't figure out why."

"Well…Harry's toast was so touching…and Harry naming the baby after you was really sweet…and touching…and I know you and Andi have sort of adopted James as a grand baby, especially since Prongs and Lily are gone, but…it's just a reminder that you would be such a good grandfather to my babies…and I don't have them yet," she took a deep breath, "And I want them so badly."

"I'm sorry, Sarah," Snape leaned forward and put his hands on her knees. "How long have you and Collin been trying to conceive?"

"We have never not been trying…" Sarah admitted. "The papers are starting to gossip about it…and…Collin…he is so good about it."

"He wouldn't be half the man he is if he wasn't," Snape retorted. "Which papers are gossiping? I haven't seen any."

She titled her head. "You know Mrs.O'bryan hides all the papers that are negative and refuses to sell them."

"Hum," Snape frowned.

"It comes with the job, unfortunately, the scrutiny of Collin and I. And they really haven't been that bad."

"I think you should go visit Nathan."

Sarah bit her lip, "I can't have magical interventions, Dad. As much as I want this, it has to be done naturally."

"We could make it discreet."

She shrugged, "I don't know if it is worth the risk."

"Will you consider it? If there is a magical solution for this, then I think you should take it…consider it was magic that started all of this."

Sarah smoothed her braid, "I'll think about it. I'll even talk it over with Collin."

Snape nodded, "Very good, then." He reached over and patted her knee, "For the record, I am fond of Potter and Ginerva and little James, although he is quite the little brat at times," Snape looked almost amused at that, "But they aren't you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know that," Sarah leaned forward and gave Snape a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Snape said, reaching to pat her cheek, affectionately, "Now, how about some coffee?"

"I'd love some."

They spent the next two hours drinking coffee and chatting about life, they both loving the sense of normalcy it brought them.

* * *

Sarah sat on the couch with her head on Snape's shoulder listening to Christmas music filling the room as she watched Harry spin Ginny, their laughter filling the room as James grabbed their legs. Andi and Lupin were talking as Teddy was playing with the train under the tree. Hermione was poking at Ron, baby Rose asleep in a bassinet.

It was a room filled with so much joy. They had just spent the past hour decorating the tree and now were enjoying the effect it had on everything. The rich aroma of stew was wafting from the kitchen, almost dinner time.

Harry caught her eye as Ginny picked up James and begin to spin him around dancing with him.

He extended his hand towards her and she lifted her head, surveying him.

Snape nudged her off the couch towards him. "Go on, Black," Snape whispered. "Humor Potter of he will never leave you alone."

"I see the way it is," Sarah smiled as she took his hand and he spun her to the sway of the Christmas music. She giggled and put her hand on his shoulder, his other in his.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Good," she said, "I'm just wondering since when did you become such a dancer?"

"There is something about Christmas and music," Harry said, honestly, "Christmas were always my happy times staying at Hogwarts. Plus, Ginny brings it out of me."

"I remember. I loved spending those Christmases with you, Harry." He twirled her again and she laughed again.

"You seem better tonight," Harry said, "more like Sarah."

"I've always been Sarah," she retorted, "just Sarah without magic."

"Do you really think that matters to any of us? I didn't know I had magic until I was eleven years old."

"I think it matters to some."

"To Lupin? He knows what it is like to be different. To Hermione? She is a muggle born. It may matter to Malfoy, but he isn't here."

"I would have thought after four years you two might have mended your differences….considering your new closeness with Snape and the fact that Andi is his aunt."

"Some things just feel like destiny…Malfoy and I being rivals being one of them."

"He's moving up in the ministry, head of the board at Hogwarts and you are head of the aurors…both are doing well."

"And then there is you. You are doing well for yourself too. Do you miss any of this?"

"Hum…" Sarah surveyed her oldest friend, "Draco asked me the same thing about my magic."

"I wasn't talking about magic…just this in general."

"Well…to be honest, I miss brewing."

"Potions," Harry made a face, "Merlin, you were dreadful at those…who would have thought?"

"I wasn't all that dreadful at them at the end."

"I should say not. Ask Snape to let you brew. If you don't want to use magic,he can do the spells and you just do the other stuff."

"That's an idea. And what about you? Do you miss anything from living in a muggle home?"

"The telly- but Gin and I have one. We show James news clips of you and Collin all the time."

"Is that how he knew who I was?" Sarah asked, curiously.

Harry nodded. The doorbell rang and Severus scooped up James who had began sliding away from Ginny, who had moved to talk to Hermione. The thumb went in his mouth, but he has immediately stopped squirming with Snape.

"I'd say Snape still has his touch," Sarah said, with a laugh, "He's adorable, Harry."

"Thanks. We're fond of the little rascal."

"I can see why," Sarah said, "It's fun seeing you and Ron as fathers. You are all grown up Mr. Potter."

"I didn't have much of a choice," Harry said, wryly, "But I love the life I am leading."

She sighed, knowing it was true- she and Harry never really got to be normal teenagers and young adults.

"When is Collin coming?"

"Sometime tomorrow," she said.

"Do you miss him?"

"I should be used to his schedule by now, but my heart aches every time he is away."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"I'd say."

Sarah froze at the voice behind her. She felt Harry spin her around towards the voice.

"Collin!" it only took her a moment before she ran to him, throwing herself in his arms. "You weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow."

"I wanted to surprise you. Surprised?" Collin asked, picking her up and swinging her around.

"Yes, absolutely!" She laughed, "I'm so glad you are here finally!"

"Happy Christmas, my love."

"Happy Christmas!" she kissed him before Snape cleared his throat.

"I think supper might be ready if you are hungry, Collin. I'm not sure how much longer we can hold James off from food," he patted down the boy's unruly hair.

"Or me!" Teddy declared, "I'm hungry too."

"Did you know about this?" Sarah asked Snape, before reaching down to take Teddy's hand, who was now right beside them.

Snape winked at her, "I like seeing you surprised and happy too. Now let's us away to the dining room."

"Yum yum time?" James asked.

"Yes, you little rascal!" Harry stepped over to them, shaking Collin's hand before ruffling up his son's hair.

"He has your hair, Potter," Snape said.

"He has more than just his hair," Sarah declared, "How many more years until you go to Hogwarts, buddy?" she tap his arm.

"Enough time for me to retire," Snape said, sarcasm dripping from his tone, handing James to Harry.

They all laughed, before heading to the dining room.

* * *

"Is Sarah still asleep?" Snape asked when Collin came down for breakfast, joining Andi and him at the table.

"Yes," Collin said, "I think she needed a lie in this morning."

"Hum," Snape exchanged a glance with Andi as he buttered his toast. "Late night, was it?"

"Not too late," Collin said, "though Sarah did want to catch up."

"Is that what we call it these days?" Sev asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Stop teasing him so, Severus," Andi laughed. "How long have they been married and you are still giving him a hard time about it?"

"I doubt that will ever really change," Collin said, knowingly, "as you know, your daughter is beastly when she doesn't get enough sleep. You could go wake her up if you really wanted her at breakfast."

"No, no," Severus waved him off, "she deserves to lie in every once in a while. She doesn't get that often."

"No, she doesn't."

"She looks tired, Collin," Snape said, "I worry about her schedule. I know yours is worse, but Sarah always needed her solitude to rejuvenate."

"I'm aware," Collin said, "we try to give her as much as we can."

"Are you still planning on going to church tonight for Christmas Eve?" Andi asked.

Collin nodded, "The press got wind of our plans, but Sarah has enjoyed the tradition since our marriage. We would have done so regardless."

"The village is quite a stir with that," Andi said, honestly. "It may not be as serene as you and Sarah would like."

"We look forward to seeing everyone," Collin assured her, "Plus, the press won't miss the opportunity. The village is picturesque with the snow and the Christmas lights and decorations."

"It is that," Andi said, "Coffee, Collin?"

"Thank you," Collin said, as Andi passed him a steaming mug of coffee and Wiggles came in to inquire on what he would like to eat. A few moments later a steaming plate appeared in front of him.

Snape cleared his throat again and Andi shot him a warning look, which he promptly ignored.

"To be completely honest, I am glad we have this time, Collin."

"Something on your mind, Severus?" Collin asked, taking a bite of his eggs.

"Yes, there is."

"Go on, then," Collin said, reaching for his coffee.

"I'm just concerned that Sarah's exhaustion might be attributed more than just her busy schedule."

"Such as…"

"She has suppressed her magic for four years. It could be taking a physical toll on her. It is not abnormal for that to happen."

"Have you told her what you think?"

"I have tried to get her to take up her wand every visit to Snape Manor. It is in her agreement with the ministry to do so."

"If she chooses."

"She is a powerful witch..that is not a choice…it's a part of who she is. You and I had an understanding when you asked for my blessing that you would never try to sequester her ability. It's been four years. Four years without her uttering a spell."

"I don't discourage her from it. I would never wish to. It is a choice she has made. As you well know, your daughter is stubborn. She got it in her head that this was for the best and she has held fast to that belief."

"Yet, if it is manifesting itself physically, surely you can see the benefits of her at least attempting a few spells while here…"

"I do. I'll talk to her about it. Not now though. I am not keen on getting into an argument with her around the holidays. But I promise I will discuss it with her."

"I've tried," Severus said, "but she takes it critically no matter how sensitively I try to approach her."

"I know," Collin said, "she is sensitive when it comes to your approval. I'll be a more concerted effort to not brush her decision aside."

"Two and a half years without a visit home…"

"We'll do better," Collin said. "It got away from us. But with your new position at Hogwarts, it will take some strategizing with all of our schedules."

"If she wanted to, she would have not let so much time pass."

"She did want to, Severus," Collin said, "truly, she did. She was running away a bit from all of this to make it easier on herself, but I think part of what she is realizing is that…it has been hardly easy. She has missed a lot with you…and with her friends. She hardly feels like she knows Teddy and James. That was a part of our late night discussion."

"Part of it is natural, though. It would be hard for her to be as close to her friends as she was when she was growing up," Andi pointed out, "she is forced by the ministry and the need to maintain our secrecy that makes it so difficult for her to visit. It's not entirely by choice and I think we forget that sometimes."

Severus nodded, "I agree with Andromeda. But if there is any way you could try with her to balance things better…I miss her. And maybe that is selfish, but I have learned throughout the years that life is too short to be away from the ones you love for too long."

"I entirely agree," Collin concurred. "Life is too short."

But they couldn't ever imagine that six months later, those words uttered at the breakfast table would become almost prophetic.

* * *

 _6 months later_ :

She should have known it was coming…things had been so blissful between her and Collin. She had been settled and calm…and then just like that…it all fell apart.

Maybe, it was her magical training or her experience with war…or perhaps , it was from her year as an auror, but when she heard the stampede up the steps of 10 Downing Street, she knew at once something was terribly wrong and a deeply imbedded instinct took over. She ran to reach her phone to call for help. But then the door flew open and she turned to try to find cover and some sort of object to use as a weapon, only to stop when she heard the voice, filled with emotion.

"She's here. Merlin, Potter, she's here."

She dropped the phone, the dial tone ringing.

"What…?" her voice was hoarse, her knees shaky, her mind racing as to what was happening, "What is going on?"

"We need to go," the urgency was held in Draco's voice. "You have to come with me."

"You two scared me half out of my mind!" She put her hand on her heart, which was thumping through her chest.

"There is no time to explain," Harry stepped out from behind Draco, "You have to go now, Sarah. We need to secure you. Take her now…take her before…"

Before Harry could complete his command, Draco rushed forward and put his arms around her, the air swirling around her and through her as she felt the pull of apparition, an unwelcome sensation she hadn't experienced in four and a half years.

They landed and Sarah collapsed to her knees, vomiting all over Draco's shoes.

Draco grunted but swiped his wand and the mess cleaned up.

The earth was still spinning and she groaned, disoriented. Without a word, he lifted her up and carried her through the woods and up the walkway, the shadows of the castle dancing in the moonlight and revealing their location, though she didn't have the strength to look up. But even though she was physically weak, her mind was panicking with all the possibilities of what could be happening to warrant such a drastic action on Harry and Draco's part. A few more minutes passed and she was slowly beginning to regain her strength.

She cleared her throat, "I can walk, Malfoy."

He stopped and then eased her gently to the ground. "Are you sure?" he asked as her knees shook more. "You still look like you might faint."

"I just need a second," she said, stabilizing herself. "Okay, I'm fine." She looked up at the massive castle looming over them as they walked together towards it. They reaching the bottom of the many steps that led to the front door of Hogwarts, when Sarah stopped and turned to him again. "Will you tell me what the hell is going on?" she demanded.

"This is the safest place for you," Draco said. "With Snape."

She swallowed hard, trying to fight the panic and dread that was welling up again, "But there are secrecy laws…you can't just pull me out of the home…there are people…and staff….and its the home of the bloody prime minister…for you to do that…for the aurors to come…what in God's name is going on, Draco?"

"Not here," Draco said, his face becoming paler, causing Sarah to sway again. "Come on. Or do I need to carry you again?"

She held up her hand, "No, I will be fine." She took a breath and managed to climb up the steps. When she reached the top, the massive wooden doors swung open to greet her. Draco stepped in front of her and led her down the hall to the ancient gargoyles that guarded the Headmaster's office.

It was at the precise moment of seeing the gargoyles, that her mind harkened to another time many years ago. She had looked up at the gargoyles with the same dread in the pit of her stomach, the night Dumbledore sent her to his office, the night Voldemort had returned. The memory hit her with such a force…upending her to her core, when another thought crossed her mind…one that was more unimaginable that if true, she couldn't even fathom the devastating consequences. But in this moment, it was the only thing she could think of that would warrant Harry deciding to jeopardize the security of the wizarding world to protect her.

"Wait!" the word came out strangled.

At the panic and jarring despair her voice, Draco turned his head and waited.

"Is he…?" she breathed in, it was too awful to even voice, but she had to, "is he back?"

Draco looked at her, incredulously, "Who?"

"Voldemort." she reached to put her hand on his arm, gripping it tightly, her eyes wild with fear, "Is Voldemort back?"

"Oh, Merlin, no, Sarah, of course not," Draco said. "It's nothing like that."

"Oh, God," she gasped for breath, "I thought…for one bloody awful moment…I thought…oh my God, he would destroy me. Can you imagine? After these past four years, the life I'm living…but I couldn't understand what was going on, otherwise…"

The gargoyles spun open, swirling around allowing them entrance. Silently, Draco beckoned her up and they made their way up the swirling stairs to the Headmaster's office. She tugged her sweater closer to her as the chill from the stone steps rushed upon her. When she made it to the top, the door swung open and Snape rushed forward to engulf her into his arms, practically smothering her in his embrace.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to smother you," he lightened his grip, but still held on to her, "but I have to…I have to make sure you are real."

"Why wouldn't I be real?" Sarah asked.

"I thought…" He pulled her away, "We all thought the worst."

"I don't…understan…" she paused when she saw Snape's anguish. "My God, Merlin help me…"

"We thought you had gone with him…you were supposed to have gone with him."

"I…I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed…Oh God." Reality hit her as her mind finally grasped exactly what was going on. She let out a wail, "It's Collin, isn't it?" Snape's arms came back her, preventing her from falling over.

"He was missing so their contacts reached out to the ministry…to Harry and the aurors…and…" Snape paused, "Sarah, sweetheart…I'm so sorry."

"Don't!" she gasped, clawing his arms, hanging on to him for dear life, "don't say it! No! It cannot be true!"

"You were supposed to be with him, so we thought…they found him…but not you…and…" Snape's voice trailed off, "I'm sorry, child."

"No!" Sarah sobbed. "No! No!" She shook her head, against Snape's chest, "It cannot be true. I just saw him this morning. He said he would be back tomorrow!'

"It was the killing curse…we don't know who at this point, but we do know magic was involved."

"Magic?"

"It was a witch or wizard who did this."

"He was murdered?" She cried.

"Yes. The ministry is working on a plausible cover."

"A cover?" she stilled herself. "What do you mean?"

"To protect the secrecy of the magical world."

"No!" She raised her head and pushed Snape away, "No! We cannot lie about his death. I won't do it."

"What are you saying exactly, Sarah?"

"I'm saying that I will not allow his death to be covered up like Kate's was," Her voice rose loudly, "His family deserves to know the truth. Britain deserves to know that their leader was murdered. They will not make it look like an accident. I will not allow it."

"This is beyond you and him. You are talking about altering the very foundation of this world. It is imperative that we maintain our secrecy. The aurors and the ministry…they have no choice. You must let them do what they must do."

"They can't simply be protected because they are a wizard!"

"They will be brought to justice. We will ensure it."

"No, they won't. You know that as much as I do. This has to end ends here. This wizarding prejudice and war on muggles…it ends here. With me. I will not let them take the most important person in my life and then lie about his death! And for you…and Harry…to support lying about it!"

"Stop!" Snape held up his hand.

"NO!"

He grabbed her face with both his hands, holding it still, forcing her to look at him, "You will listen to me. And you will listen very carefully," his voice was stern, the Snape of years past taking over, "You are one of us, no matter how you have lived these past five years. You are still a witch. If it is the magical world verses the muggle word, you still belong to us. Your duty is to your magical heritage and it is your obligation to protect it. You mustn't say a word. You must let the events unfold as the ministry sees fit."

"My husband is dead and you are lecturing me on my blood?"

"No, I'm trying to protect you. If you expose our world, you expose yourself. Your magic is still a part of you."

"No," Sarah waved her hand at him, "It it is not! Never again. Do you hear me? Never again!"

"Listen to what you are saying!" Snape urged. "You are not being reasonable. You know that this is how it has to be."

"He's dead! Collin's dead!" She sobbed, "And I will never ever see him again!"

"And you ending up in Azkaban is not going to bring him back," Snape said, releasing her, "which is where you will if you threaten to expose us."

"I need Collin. I need him. I can't do this without him! Don't you see? Oh God." She put her hand on her face and began to sob again, "I'll never see him again."

Snape's arms came back around her and she fought him, but he maintained his hold until she collapsed against him.

"There we are," he murmured, stroking her head, "I have you."

"We were so happy. I was so happy."

"I know, sweetheart. I know you were."

"I thought…I thought we would have the rest of our lives."

"I'm so sorry."

"I can't do this again, Dad. I can't."

"Hush. Just let yourself cry," Severus squeezed her tightly.

She cried and cried, the shock and grief overtaking her, while Snape held her, rocked her against him and murmured words that neither of them quite understood, but words of comfort nonetheless.

"I thought Voldemort was back…" she hiccuped, "And that was the most horrible thought I could think…I didn't one consider…but oh, this is so much worse. I would gladly bear his wrath…if only I could have Collin."

"Shh…" Snape hushed her, "don't think such thoughts."

"I don't think I can face anything…"

"You are in shock…and you need rest. I'm taking you to my quarters and putting you to bed."

"I have to go back," she said, wiping the plastered hair from her face, "I can't go missing as well."

"She's right," Draco said and Sarah and Snape both jumped, forgetting he was here.

Just then, they heard Harry's voice from the stairs.

Snape gently pushed Sarah down on the couch in his office, conjuring tissues for her. A glance at Dumbledore's portrait, he asked, "watch her, won't you?" before beckoning to Draco to come with him, meeting Harry in the stairwell to confer.

She wiped her face and then looked up at Dumbledore's portrait. "This entirely my fault."

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked, his voice gentle but curious.

"It's because what I did…that they were coming after us. Why else? Why after four and a half years would they do this?"

"We don't know," Dumbledore said. "You can't know either."

"But I do…"

Dumbledore looked disturbed, "What do you mean?"

"It's because I'm pregnant."

"Are you?"

"I have committed the unforgivable sin of polluting my magical blood," She sniffled hard, "And now, they couldn't allow it…that's why they wanted to kill me…it sounds so paranoid, but Headmaster, you know it's true."

"Yes," Dumbledore looked over his spectacles at her, "Yes, Yes," he mulled it over, "I suppose you are right. Who knows about this?"

"Just Collin and I…and my doctor…do you think they were tracking my appointments?"

"Perhaps," Dumbledore said, frowning, "Does Severus know? Harry? Mr. Malfoy?"

"No. No, they can't know. No one can know. Not until I am ready. Please don't tell."

"Of course not, but child…you can't hide this forever."

"I don't know what I am going to do."

Dumbledore folded his hands, "You will do what you do best."

"And what's that?"

"Find the light in the midst of overwhelming darkness."

"I fear the light has gone out forever….for me at least," she said, her hands buried in her head.

And they said no more, until Snape came back.

A/N: :(


	21. Mourning

A/N: thank you all for the kind reviews. We are on break this week for work so another update...:) Subsequent ones will come slower as work is about to really pick up, but thank you for continuing to read and review!

 **Chapter 21: Mourning**

She sat, twisting her ring, listening to rain pitter-patter on the window as the staff from the prime minister's office and the staff for the royal family were going over arrangements…loads and loads of arrangements. It wasn't a state funeral but because Collin was a sitting prime minister, it was going to be similar in grandeur. A day of mourning, televised, proceeding from the parliament building to the church, where his service would be held. Collin was so humble, it would have bothered him immensely the fanfare for him. She sighed, continuing to twist, absently at her engagement and wedding rings.

"Mrs. Stevens?"

She shrugged and then stood to go over to window, staring out of it. The room grew quiet.

"BBC would like an interview….at least to schedule one in the next few months. The American press is also quite eager for your thoughts."

She continued to look, "that is quite impossible."

"And we still need to choose the music."

"Sarah, dear?" Beth Stevens coaxed.

"You decide."

"I really think…"

"I think we should just not do any of this. Collin wasn't royalty."

"With all due respects, ma'am," the staffer said, "he was the prime minister of our country."

"It's all a lie anyway," she muttered.

A few minutes later, another butler came in, "Mrs. Stevens, please come with me."

She exchanged a weary look with Beth and then followed the butler out of the door and up the stairs into one of the palace apartments.

She curtsied when she entered the room with the queen.

"Let's have tea," the queen said.

"I'm not dressed properly," she protested.

"We can overlook any impropriety."

"They need me downstairs."

"Are you really taken to arguing with your sovereign?"

"No, ma'am."

"Sit."

Sarah sat and crossed her ankles, reaching for the outstretched tea cup. She took a sip, the aroma instantly soothing her.

"I understand you are not participating in your husband's arrangements."

"With all due respect, I do not see the point of all of this. He was just a man. And I am just the woman who loved him. Other prime ministers are not granted this honor. Why should Collin be different?"

"His death was tragic. Our country needs the opportunity to mourn his loss properly. And you need to give them that. Not only that, it is you who must show them the way to mourn him."

"I don't know the way to mourn him or how to best honor him. How can I show them something that I myself cannot comprehend?"

"You must find the way."

"But you know the truth as well as I do. You know how he died."

"I do," she said, evenly. "But they cannot."

"I'm not keen on living out a lie."

"But part of you has done so all along," she pointed out. "You must let your bitterness go. For the country's sake."

"That's a tall order."

"But one you must take. You have no other recourse. Your husband was an extraordinary man…to become what he did at his age. He rose to the occasion. And he chose you. He chose you to rise with him. And you will. For that is what your country demands of you."

"Yes, ma'am." Sarah aqiesed because she knew she was right…and she did have little choice.

So, she finished her tea and then left her alone, going back downstairs to where the staff was still talking about the music.

"I Vow to Thee my Country," she said, quietly, "it was sung at our wedding and it will be sung at Collin's funeral. It was his favorite. He would have wanted that one. Other than that, let's not fuss about the music. It will be beautiful regardless. Now what else?"

* * *

"Here, allow me," Andi said, as Severus tied and re-tied his tie again, fumbling with doing it correctly. They were dressing in a room at Downing St, where Sarah was spending her last morning in residence. They had arrived yesterday and Sarah had hosted them and Collin's family- his parents and sister, as arrangements were made. She had been unusually quiet, but had an eire composure, her emotions cleared. He suspected that she out of desperation, she was employing techniques from her youth to control her emotions. She had been strong and graceful the past few days, even comforting and consoling Collin's parents, who were understandingly distraught. But he knew that she was going to break soon and when she did, it would be all the worse for holding it in.

"I never use magic for this anyway," Snape said, "I don't know why I am all thumbs."

Andi looped through his tie, "It is going to be an emotional day," she said, quietly, "She needs us steady…Collin's parents are devastated themselves. I understand that feeling all too well. No mother should have to bury their child-its simply not how it is supposed to be."

"Is this bringing back memories for you?"

Andi paused for a moment, "To be honest, yes."

"I'm sorry, Andromeda," Severus said, his voice low. "I know you still mourn."

"I do. It is not as fresh, but it will always be with me. Though my situation was entirely different from what they are experiencing because I could grieve without the fanfare. They are forced to grieve their child with the whole world watching…and Sarah, her husband. We have to keep our emotions under control for them."

"You know me," Severus said, watching his wife, "I'm used to being stoic…and completely controlled in my emotions, but this…this is tearing me up to my very core."

"I know, it is," Andromeda pulled up his tie, knotting it. She reached up to cup his face, "You do know with me that you never have to completely control your emotions. I will love you regardless and truth be told, I love you all the more for those special moments when you allow me to truly come close to you."

"I never thought I would want to with anybody," Snape said, "and that is also why it is affecting me so…because I know what Sarah had with Collin, because it is what I have it with you. And if I ever lost you, I don't know what I would do. You have changed me. I don't want to go back to how it was before."

"You wouldn't," Andi said, "I don't create your humanity…that light in you was always there, I just hopefully help shine it brighter, just as you do for me."

He kissed her, "Help me be a good father today. She needs me at my best."

"You have never needed my help with that, Severus Snape. Just do what you know to do. And love her through this all."

* * *

She stared at herself in the full length dressing mirror in the bedroom of Downing Street that she shared with Collin. She adjusted the black peplum jacket that had arrived this morning and straightened the matching pencil skirt. She smoothed down her hair making sure there were no strays out of place.

"Okay," she took a breath as her hand travelled to her stomach, her fingers lightly tapping against it.

"We can do this, love. You and I…" she whispered. "We have to do this together for your daddy. He would want us to be strong for him and for our country. He loved this country so much and he loved both of us so."

" _Collin…"_

" _Yes, darling?"_

 _She had flopped on the bed where he was reading a report, papers spread out on the quilt._

" _Can you focus on me for a minute?"_

" _Yes, of course," he looked up immediately, "What it is?"_

 _She extended her hand, a white stick in it. "I'm never late. I didn't look. I can't look. Will you look?"_

 _He took the stick and looked down, staring at it. "I don't believe it."_

 _Her heart fluttered. "Is it…Collin, it's bad news, isn't it? A fluke being late…"_

" _It's positive," he interrupted, quickly._

" _Positive?" she asked, faintly. "After all this time?"_

 _Collin put the pregnancy test down and stacked up his papers, putting them aside. "After all this time, Mrs. Stevens," his voice choked. "My God."_

 _She swallowed hard, "Are you sure?" her lip trembled._

 _Collin picked back up the test, "See for yourself." He handed it back to her and wiped the tears that were welling up in his own eyes._

 _She looked at it, "I'm pregnant. Clearly pregnant. Gosh, it's really clear, isn't it?"_

" _No doubt."_

 _She covered her face and began to weep._

 _His hands removed hers from her face, kissing them before his arms immediately came around her, pulling her solidly against him, "My darling wife, how I love you…" he murmured in her ear._

" _I'm so happy. So blessed," she raised her head and looked at him through her tears, "We are going to have a baby. A sweet lovely baby. Our child. Can you believe it?" She put her hands on his face, "Collin…this is most amazing news!"_

" _I concur," He kissed her, passionately._

She carried her hat down the stairs, holding on to the staircase, minding her step. She entered the sitting room, where Collin's parents and sister, Snape & Andi, Harry & Ginny, Ron & Hermione and many of Collin's staff were there.

"Is there press outside already?" she asked, standing in the doorway.

Snape moved quickly to her, "Yes. They apparently want to see you leave."

"Lovely," she said, taking a breath.

"We are going to send Ginny and James with Hermione to the church. It's too long of a walk for them with Ginny about to have the baby."

"Good idea," she nodded, "Are we ready?"

"Everything is in order," he said.

"Where are Collin's parents?"

"We are right here, dear," Beth said and she and Collin's father, William, put their arms around their daughter in law.

"How can I do this?" she whispered to them.

Beth pulled away, "We are doing this together. For Collin."

"For Collin," she whispered.

Beth helped her pin on her hat, the big traditional muggle English hat. "You look lovely," she whispered.

"Thank you," her throat felt incredibly dry.

They made their way to Westminister Palace and waited again for the procession to begin. Finally, an official came in,

"We are ready for you, Mrs. Stevens," he said.

She took a deep breath and then looked to Snape, who nodded at her. He had Andi's hand in his and they approached her.

"Do you want me to walk out with you now?" he asked.

She bit her lip and she swallowed hard. "I need to do this first, I think. But I want you beside me as we walk. Please don't go far from me."

She reached for his hand and squeezed it, closing her eyes and taking a breath.

Snape leaned in, "You can do this, sweetheart."

"Do you think? I mean, do you _really_ think?"

"I know," he said, his voice low.

She opened her eyes and turned to Beth.

"We'll be right behind you, but you should go first," she said, her lip trembled slightly.

"Right," she took another breath. "Alright." She nodded at the official, "I'm ready," She followed him into the hall, where the press and swarms of people were waiting for her.

And it was then, she saw Collin's casket.

It took every ounce of her courage and resolve to put one foot in front of another as she walked towards it. Harry and Ron were standing beside it along with other staffers from Collin's office. They had agreed to carry it in the processional. She reached out to squeeze Harry's hand with one hand and then Ron's with the other, linking the three of them together, much like they were with Hermione during their years at Hogwarts. She needed their strength at that moment, to do what she knew she must do next.

She had to acknowledge it…the fact that it was her husband in there…the Prime Minister of Britain. It was expected of her and yet, it compounded her grief. She didn't want to acknowledge it. She wanted to pretend this wasn't happening. Yet, she couldn't do that.

"My love," she whispered and she placed both her hands on Collin's coffin, leaning on it and closing her eyes, aware of the flash of cameras.

" _My love," Collin murmured._

 _Thump, thump, thump_

 _She knew she should be looking at the screen, but she had took her eyes off of it for a moment and was now mesmerized by Collin's face, watching him as he watched the screen, and she knew in that moment, he was already completely in love with the little life inside of her._

" _Look at her kicking," he laughed. "she is an active little thing, isn't she?"_

" _We can't tell gender yet, silly," Sarah looked back at the screen to where the baby was clearly moving and kicking._

" _It's a girl," Collin said, confidently._

" _You will give your son a complex if it is a boy," Sarah teased._

" _Regardless," Collin smiled, "the child is perfect, is it not?"_

" _Perfect," the ultrasound tech confirmed. "Congratulations, Mr. Prime Minister."_

" _This woman," Collin leaned over and kissed her head, "continues to make me the luckiest man on this earth. Our daughter is going to have her unmatched beauty, grace and strength."_

 _Sarah blushed, "And this is how he became prime minister of Britain at such a tender age," she teased._

" _You wound me, wife," Collin said, jokingly. "You know I don't flatter unfairly. It happens to be the complete and utter truth."_

 _She grinned and then turned back to the screen, "he or she is lovely, that is for sure. Hello, our baby, we can't wait to meet you, little love."_

She allowed the memory of those words to strengthen her. She straightened, rubbing the coffin gently with her fingers, before stepping aside, nodding her head for the procession to begin.

* * *

The grief felt all consuming, she drowning in its weight as she followed the coffin passed the throngs of mourners. Snape was by her side, Collin's family flanked on his other side. It felt surreal…the whole ordeal. She turned her head to Snape.

"Dad," her voice cracked and he extended his hand and she reached for it, holding onto it as her lifeline. Her other hand was resting ever so slightly on her belly…the secret that only her and Collin held…and the portrait of Headmaster Dumbledore.

But then a group of mourners caught her eye and she stopped, let go of Snape's hand to break the procession and go to them. She felt all eyes on her, but still she broke protocol. It was the children from the orphanage that Collin had rebuilt all those many years ago after Voldemort destroyed it in a fire-retribution for her behavior. And in front was now the 7 year old boy, Harry- that Sarah had saved all those many years ago, defying the Dark Lord's orders not to return. Collin and Sarah frequented the orphanage often in his tenure of prime minister- that and many others, but that one was always special to them both.

She greeted some of the other children before fixing her gaze on Harry.

"Hello, Harry," Sarah leaned over and gave him a hug, "Are these for me?"

"Yes, ma'am. I thought you would like them," Harry responded. "That's what girls like when they are sad, right?"

"You are quite right," she said, gently, as she took them. "And I am very sad right now."

"I am too."

"It's okay to be sad," Sarah murmured, "it shows we love him, but Prime Minister Stevens wouldn't want us to be too sad."

Harry nodded.

"I must go," she patted his arm, "Thank you for the flowers, Harry. They are lovely."

"Yes, ma'am."

She smiled at the other children, before joining back the procession who had halted for her.

She extended her hand to Snape and Severus took back her hand and didn't let it go.

It was much later…years in fact… that Snape would relate to her the words of the queen to him that day.

"Your daughter is remarkably brave."

And as Snape watched her all day, he had to agree. His Gryffindor lioness had once again proved that the sorting hat had read her correctly all those many moons ago.

* * *

"Consider it," Severus entreated.

"There is nothing to consider," Sarah said, "the movers already moved everything back here during the funeral. I made the decision days ago."

And she had made it…she could only hope that her living separate from Snape and the others would convince whoever was behind Collin's attack that she was serious about remaining separate from everything- that she wasn't going to try to integrate her child in the wizarding world, flaunting the fact she made the decision to conceive a chid with a muggle. The wards were still up at the cottage from years ago and as much as she shunned her magic, she wasn't about to ask to take the wards done. They would be enough to protect her from intruders, coupled with the muggle police protections.

She was sitting with Severus, Andi and Harry around Collin and her kitchen table in the small cottage that Collin and she still owned.

"There is no way that Potter can provide appropriate protection for you here," Severus entreated.

"Well," Sarah stood as the tea kettle whistled, "That is good, because he wasn't going to anyway."

"You have to have protection," Harry said, evenly, interrupting Severus's heated retort. "That's non-negotiable."

"You or nobody else can force me to have protection," she said. "And regardless, I have muggle protection."

"Bloody good that did Collin," Severus retorted.

She slammed the mug she was reaching for down on the counter, "Really?" she glared at Snape, "that was low."

"You are being unreasonable," Severus countered.

"And it's my choice if I am or if I am not."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, completely frustrated at his daughter's hostile response to provide for her safety.

"Let's all take a few breaths," Andi said, rising to take the mug from Sarah and retrieve three more from the cabinet, pouring them all tea. "Obviously, our emotions are high right now…for all of us."

"He can't force me into doing this, Andi. I'm not a child anymore."

"But," Andi countered, her hand on Sarah's hand, which was resting on the counter, "He still deserves your respect no matter how old you are- I think he has earned that throughout the years. You need to listen to him. He isn't being unreasonable. You know that."

"I can't leave here," she whispered.

"Then," Harry stood and walked over to her, "Take my offer to allow aurors to guard you instead of the muggle force."

She shook her head, swiftly, "I am not having aurors invade this house. I'm not going to."

"Lupin can live with you. And we will have protection outside. He'll respect your privacy and you and him are friends. It shouldn't be too invasive."

"He can't leave his child."

"He has gone on missions before," Andi said, quietly. "Teddy will stay with Severus and myself at Hogwarts for the summer term."

"I will not have you," she pointed to Harry "and him," she pointed at Snape, "bully me into this. No magical protection. No magic at all in this house. Do you hear me?" She waved her finger at them.

"Sarah Grace," Severus stood, his voice low, but stern, "Just because you have lost your husband doesn't entitle you to be so disagreeable to those who are trying to help." He gave her a look.

"She's grieving, Severus," Harry said.

"She's aware of what she is doing, Harry," Severus retorted, "And grieving is not a pass to attack the very ones who are trying to help her."

"I am not having magic in this house!" she raised her voice. "I will not stand for it."

"And I will not stand you acting like an unreasonable brat, no matter how old you!" Snape retorted, his own voice raised. He paused, taking several marked breaths before forcing his voice to calm, "Why are you pushing so hard?"

"Just stop!" She pointed her finger at him, glaring.

"Point that finger at me again," Severus growled, "and I will show you just how much I am still capable of being your father no matter how old you are or how grieved you are."

"I dare you to…" she retorted, heated.

"I don't make idle threats as you very well know. And I dare you back," Snape said, his voice low.

Andi exchanged a weary look at Harry, who shuffled, awkwardly.

"I think…it would be best…for us to let you two hash this out," Harry said, "in private."

"Excellent notion," Severus said, his eyes not leaving his daughter.

"That really isn't necessary, Harry" Sarah retorted, evenly.

"Well, Paddy," Harry ran his hair through his head, "I learned long ago not to ever get in the way of you and Snape when you are having one of your _talks_."

"We are done talking about this."

"We certainly are not," Severus's voice was stern.

"I'm just going to take my tea," Harry reached for his mug, "Into the other room."

"I'll join you," Andi said.

She brushed her hands against Snape's arm on the way out, "darling, tread carefully," she entreated but still left with Harry.

"What the hell, Snape?" Sarah asked, as the door swung shut. "Are you out of your everlasting mind?"

"You are still my child," he said, crossing his arms, "And I know you are angry, but Harry and I, we aren't the enemy here. We are trying to _help_ you."

"I don't want help!"

Snape stepped forward, towering over her, his arm on the counter, effectively trapping her there. She tried to swing under them, but he kept them steady. "Listen to me."

"No."

" _Listen to me!"_

She didn't really see she had much of a choice, "Fine, what is it?"

"I thought you were dead, Sarah. Do you realize how it is to think your child is dead? Take how you felt with Orion and multiple it a hundred times over."

She took a breath, not looking at him, but not arguing at the moment.

He continued, "And it hasn't been the first time in your short life that I thought that. I thought it your first year when you recklessly followed Harry to retrieve the stone and then in the chamber your second year and then fifth year at the ministry…and then at the battle of Hogwarts….and then when you were an auror, I would worry when you would go on missions. I would try to distract myself, but it was agonizing for me. And then, you married Collin and I thought…'now, she will be safe.'…and yet, a few days ago, I was certain that we had lost you. It could have very well been you in a casket next to Collin's yesterday. Every moment yesterday, I was thinking of how lucky we were not to have that be the case. And now, you are telling me that you refuse any help from those that can protect you…because what? you don't want to live?"

She sniffled, but remained quiet.

"You have been so strong these past few days. I know you have been hanging on by a thread and you are reaching your breaking point. Yesterday was taxing for you and you woke up this morning and you just want to be left alone. And that's to be expected, Merlin knows you deserve that…but for a moment longer, I need you to think with your head…not with your emotions. Just as I taught you time and time again. I need you to choose your survival over everything else…over the fact that you are pissed off that magic that has taken everything from you…might just…save your life."

"I don't want to displease you, but I will not have magic in this house. The police protection will be sufficient."

"It is your choice. Truly it is," Severus said, "However, lest you forget," he leaned over to whisper in her ear, "I have choices too. And I will kidnap you and lock you up in a room at Hogwarts if that is what it takes. Do you quite understand me?"

"You wouldn't do that," she laughed, incredulously,"You are bluffing."

"I was a death eater, Sarah Grace. Of course I would. Do not underestimate the lengths I would go to ensure your survival. I have sold my soul to the darkness for you once before…and I would do so again. Do not doubt me."

She pursed her lips. "They would throw you in Azkaban."

Snape laughed, "Really? Do you think Potter would? He would help me with it if it would mean that he didn't have to worry about you being killed. And in any case, I happen to be married to an excellent solicitor."

"Damn you, Snape," Sarah glared at him, "Lupin in the house only. And only magic in dire circumstances."

Snape patted her cheek, "That's my good girl," he said. "very reasonable decision."

Sarah threw the tea towel at him, "You are not my favorite person right now."

"But I am your ally in all of this. Don't make me the enemy. You have enough of those without creating them."

And she knew he was right. Abruptly, she reached up and put her arms around him.

"I'm sorry. That was beastly of me right now. Forgive me."

"Forgiven. I know are working through much. What can I do?"

"Just do what you are doing…love me through this, okay?"

"Please allow me too."

"I'll try. That's the best I can offer you."

"I'll take it," Snape kissed her head, affectionately.

* * *

She sat on her bed, looking at the bag that came from the muggle police. She knew Harry wanted it to be turned over to him for the auror investigation, but she couldn't let go of that in this moment.

She opened Collin's wallet and went through it. There were a few bills, the credit cards, and then pictures.

She pulled out the picture of her and him in Saint Andrews on East Sands, during one of their many visits to his parents.

" _We don't have a picture of us," Sarah said, holding her camera, that she had been using to take pictures of the beach. They had been engaged for a few days._

" _Darling," Collin laughed, "Just pick up a newspaper. There are loads of pictures of us."_

" _No," she poked at him and twirled slightly, holding the bottom of the dress, so it wouldn't get wet, "Pictures that are for just us."_

 _Collin looked mischievous, "Naughty pictures?"_

 _She smacked at him then, "Collin Stevens…"_

 _He laughed, "Hand me your camera, Sarah Grace."_

" _I can take it."_

" _My arm is longer," Collin said, holding out the camera and then putting his other arm around her waist. He snapped a picture and Sarah impulsively leaned over to kiss his cheek, her arm around him._

It was that picture…the goofy one of her kissing him that he had put in his wallet. She sniffled and then pulled out the second picture, the ultrasound one of their child. He had put it straight away into his wallet…he was so proud of that photo. She held both pictures against her and then fell over on the bed and wept, sobbing.

Twenty minutes later, she sat up, took a breath. She put the picture of her and Collin back in the wallet, but took out the ultrasound one and slid it into the drawer of their nightstand.

She put the wallet back into the bag and slid off her bed. She went to knock on the door to Remus's room, him having arrived a few hours ago.

"Come in," Lupin called.

"Can I get you anything, Remus?" she asked.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"There are fresh towels in the linen closet by the loo and I did put fresh sheets on the bed before you came. The washing machine is in the kitchen if you need it. Just make yourself at home."

"I will," Remus responded, his voice quiet.

"Great. I'm sorry Harry dragged you here."

"It didn't take much convincing, Paddy," Lupin said, seriously. "Whoever did this to Collin was aiming for you too. I would never forgive myself for not coming and then something happened to you."

"I just hate that you had to leave Teddy behind."

"It isn't the first time. Teddy spends a lot of time with Andromeda and Severus."

"Well, regardless, he should come and visit often while you are here," she said, "I am his godmother after all. We can say he is visiting me if you don't want to break with protocol."

"That's kind of you," Lupin said. "What do you have there?"

She dangled out the bag, "Harry wanted Collin's personal effects. I want them back when he is done."

"Of course," Remus took the bag. "Now, do you need anything from me?"

Sarah's lip trembled and she shrugged, "What I really need, nobody can give to me. Excuse me." She fled the room.

* * *

She stared at the telly in her pajamas, unable to sleep. There was a special on Collin's life…and there was her and him, clear on the screen, holding hands, and sharing a laugh.

And then there was her at his funeral, clips of his funeral and life mixed in, played to the patriotic hymn that they sung at his funeral.

 _I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,_

 _Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;_

 _The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,_

 _That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;_

 _The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,_

 _The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice._

And it was in that moment, seeing his life, their marriage ceremony, his funeral played to the song that they had sung only yesterday, that she curled up into a ball and completely went to pieces at 2 am in the morning.

"Sarah," Lupin eventually knelt beside her as she lay on the couch, sobbing, the telly still playing clips of Collin's funeral in the background. He reached out a tentative hand for her head, rubbing it gently. "I had to check on you…but if you want privacy…"

"No," she sobbed, "please don't go."

"Let's turn this off, then, it's not helping," He tugged the remote out of her hand and clipped off the tv.

"He promised me an adventure and it was," she sobbed. "he was the perfect person for me. It's unbearable to lose him. It hurts so badly."

"I know," he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Paddy."

"Is this how you felt when Tonks died?"

"Yes," he rubbed her head, still kneeling beside her.

"Tell me it won't always feel this badly."

"You aren't a stranger to grief. You know it won't," he handed her the tissues.

"I just want him back," she wiped her eyes. "It's too hard. Facing what is next…it feel unbearable."

Lupin gently nudged her over so he could sit next to her. "But you can face what is next. One day after another."

"If only it was that simple," Sarah crumpled up the tissue, "It's so bloody complicated. I can't even turn on the telly…or read a newspaper…or anything without Collin being right there in front of me."

"So, turn off the telly for a while. Rent movies. Read books. Just do what you feel like you need to do. Don't let anybody rush you…not Snape, not Harry. But when you are ready not to hide away, and you will be one day, remember that there are plenty of people in this world…both wizarding and muggle, that love you deeply. And can help you go forward."

"I know I fought Harry on this, but tonight, I'm glad I wasn't alone."

"I'm glad you weren't either," He put his hand on her knee, rubbing it. "Why don't you lay down here and attempt to sleep? You are so shattered."

"Thanks for being a good friend, Remus."

"My pleasure," he covered her with a blanket and then moved to sit across from her in the chair. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"It's so late."

"I'm a werewolf," Remus smiled, "I've always been somewhat nocturnal."

She smiled. "Goodnight, Moony."

"Goodnight, Paddy."

* * *

 _Two weeks later_ :

"Is Sarah still held up in that muggle house?"

Harry nodded. "We have all tried. Especially Snape. She doesn't want to leave. Severus thinks we should just let her come back when she is ready."

"But you do have guards, yes?"

"Lupin stays with her there. And then we all have two aurors at a time on top of that. Nobody will be able to touch her."

"Did she at least take back her wand for protection?"

Harry shook his head, swiftly, "No, she adamantly opposes the thought of using magic. Snape had to strong arm her into allowing us to even provide protection."

"She blames all of us for Collin's death," Draco commented.

"She is tired of the wizarding world taking so much from her…and it isn't unjustified."

"And you have no idea who could have been behind the attack on Collin?"

"No. Two weeks of combing through every piece of information we have on Collin and Sarah…and nothing. We always knew Sarah could be a target…and Collin too actually…and we had been watching them, but there was high muggle security around both of them…and to be quiet for almost five years and then act? Something would have had to perpetuate it…but as for that trigger, none of us have been able to figure it out."

"Is Granger working on it?"

"She is as stumped as we all are."

"May I take a look?"

Harry gestured to him, "At this point, we'd welcome any help."

Draco began to sift through all the files. He worked for over three hours before rubbing his eyes. "Potter, where is the footage of Black at the funeral?"

"The muggle one?"

Draco nodded.

Harry flicked his wand and the video of Sarah at the funeral began projecting on the wall.

Draco watched it intently for the full hour before stopping it with his wand…"can we go back to the procession?"

"What do you see?"

"I'm not quite sure. Something I can't put my finger on," Draco frowned as he froze the footage again. Sarah was holding Snape's hand walking behind the coffin, before she had broke away to talk to the children from the orphanage, something that was much talked about in all the muggle papers later.

"Go forward to when she is speaking in the church."

Harry flicked his wand again, 'I still can't believe she stood up and did this," he commented as they watched Sarah go to the front of the church, next to the coffin and picture of Collin.

"She felt like she must," Draco said, "And I can believe it. She is bloody strong…always has been."

Harry nodded, "I don't disagree with you there. She has always been a force."

 _Do not stand at my grave and weep_

 _I am not there. I do not sleep._

 _I am a thousand winds that blow._

 _I am the diamond glints on snow._

 _I am the sunlight on ripened grain._

 _I am the gentle autumn rain._

 _When you awaken in the morning's hush_

 _I am the swift uplifting rush_

 _Of quiet birds in circled flight._

 _I am the soft stars that shine at night._

 _Do not stand at my grave and cry;_

 _I am not there. I did not die._

"When my mum passed when I was still a child, a verse read at her funeral was "The last enemy will be destroyed is death." But what I learned from her passing was that although she was gone, she is still with me." Sarah took a breath, her hand on her stomach lightly,"And I know Collin will be still with me until my dying breath…He was an extraordinary man, truly one of a kind. He loved his family, his friends and especially this country. And I know that the causes he championed, the things he loved, the things he taught us…about how to strive for peace, how to care for the needy and sick, how to compromise and work together beyond our prejudices of party and class, those lessons…they will be with us always." she took a visible breath, steeling herself,

"I believe that his greatest legacy will be for us to continue to love each other…to love our country…to continue to help make this world a better place. It's the greatest way we can honor him. I will never forget him…and" she turned to look at the coffin, "I know that in spite of his passing, my love…and his love…" her voice caught and sniffled, "It will remain with me forever." her fingers gently tapped against her stomach, "Thank you for allowing Collin and myself into your lives…and to your hearts. I'm so blessed and humbled by your kindness in the past four years, but especially in the past few days as I know that Collin would be too."

Draco froze the screen, looking at it intently, his fingers tapping against his cheek. He backed up the tape.

"I know that in spite of his passing, my love…and his love…it will remain forever."

Draco flicked his wand again to show Sarah and Snape walking hand in hand. He paused it again, again contemplatively.

Finally, he rose. "I need to talk to Sarah, Potter. Now."

"What do you see?"

Draco shook his head, "I want to confirm it with her first before I even speculate. It's too important if I have it wrong. It's a rather sensitive topic."

"But you suspect something," Harry said.

"Yes."

"And it could be a breakthrough."

"If true, yes, it would be the missing piece to all of this."

"Okay, then. Do you think she will see you?"

"I don't believe I am going to give her a choice," Draco retorted.

* * *

"I need to talk to you in private," Draco said, when arriving at Sarah's house.

"Hello to you too, Malfoy," Sarah retorted, her eyes narrowing, but he met her glare steadily.

Lupin and Harry looked at the charged moment between the two of them.

"We'll just give you a few minutes then," Harry said and he and Lupin went into the other room to confer.

"And what if I don't feel up for a chat?" she asked, pulling the piece of toast out of the toaster and plopping it on a plate.

She was wearing a large t-shirt and yoga pants, her hair up in a ponytail. He could tell she hadn't slept well in weeks.

"I just have a question for you. Just one," Draco said, crossing his arms, watching her fix a piece of toast and butter it. The tea kettle began to whistle and she reached for the pot holder to remove it from the burner, pouring it into her mug.

"Tea?" she asked.

He nodded.

She flipped open the cabinet and got down an extra mug, pouring a second cup.

She brought both cups over to the table. "Let's sit." she went back for her toast, also bringing it to the table.

"Can you answer one question for me?"

"If this about moving in with Snape and Andi, I'm not discussing it again."

"It's not that."

"Only one question…"

"Only one," Draco nodded.

Sarah blew across the top of her tea before taking a sip, "Okay, Malfoy, _one_ question."

Draco took a breath, letting it out slowly, "How far along are you?"

She froze, completely still for a few minutes, Draco waiting patiently for her response.

Finally she pushed her tea aside, "Thirteen weeks yesterday."

"How long did you think you could hide this, Black?"

"Maybe a few weeks more," she said, "but I'm starting to jut out a bit, it's why I have stayed away. How did you figure this out?"

"I was watching footage of you at Collin's funeral to try to help Potter look for clues."

"And?" Sarah hugged her arms in the large t-shirt.

"You held your hand against your belly, just like you did when you were expecting our child."

She closed her eyes, "God, Malfoy."

"Sarah," Draco reached out to touch her arm, "You need to tell Potter and Lupin. They have to know how to protect you."

"I just thought…if I kept it a secret…"

"But someone already knows," Draco said, gently.

"Hear me out," Sarah reached for his forearm, gripping it, "If I am quiet about it and if I don't try to re-enter the magical world and If my child has no notion of it…which I don't want them to anyway, then…they can't say I'm doing anything to damage the magical world."

"You can't just hide this child away from Snape…and from your friends. You will need help with all of this."

"Snape can't stop his life for me. He's the Headmaster of Hogwarts and he is married for bloody sake. I will not be the burden in their life and marriage."

"That's rubbish!" Draco exclaimed, "Neither of them would see you as a burden. Andi and him both would want you to stay with them. But besides all of that, you are gambling that your logic is correct…that your inaction would be enough to convince them to stay away. Did that work for Kate?"

She bit her lip, "No."

"Whoever did this to Collin won't stop until they get at you. You must tell Snape and Potter. You have no other choice."

She frowned, "I'm not sure I can say those words to Dad. It's suppose to be so happy and my feelings are so jumbled right now. I have to tell him before Harry and Lupin though. And I still need to tell Collin's family."

"I can come with you, but you are going to need to stay with him. Even with all the aurors here, Hogwarts will be the most secure place for you."

"I know you are right. You are just telling me everything that I know already, but am too afraid to admit it."

Draco gave her a small smile, "That's honest of you."

"Do you want more honesty?"

"If you will give it…"

"Part of it is that I can't bear to be away from Collin…this home is a comfort to me right now."

"I know you need to mourn him, Sarah," Draco said, quietly, "but you know Collin would want you to do what you have to do to protect his child and yourself."

She let out a long breath, "I just don't think I can leave…and I don't think I can go back. The thought of being around magic makes my stomach churn."

Draco frowned and opened his mouth for a retort, but then closed it, only opting for, "I don't think you have a choice now, Sarah. We can debate this forever, but there is no way around it."

"In that case," she stood, "I need to pack. Will you give me a few minutes?"

Draco nodded.

"Tell Harry that I need to talk to Dad and then him."

"Will do," Draco took another sip. "Do you need to finish your toast first? You are looking a bit queasy."

"I'm queasy all the time. I'm hoping it will subside in another week or two like it did with Orion." She picked up the piece and bit it. "Will you clean everything up in here?"

"Sure," Draco said and Sarah took one more tiny bite before dropping it back on the plate and heading upstairs.

* * *

"I hate apparition!" Sarah declared as she held onto Draco.

"You didn't sick up this time," Draco raised his eyebrow at her.

"Not yet," she warned.

Draco quickly turned her around to protect his shoes and held onto her as she leaned over and lost the toast she had put in her stomach an hour before.

She groaned.

"Can't you take the potion you did before?" Draco asked, wincing at her heaving.

"No…magic!" she said, heaving some more.

"Alright, I hear you," Draco said, frowning, "Are you done?"

She took a breath, "I think so."

Draco hoisted her up and then offered his arm as they made their way to the castle and to Snape's office.

Snape was waiting for them at the door. "Potter floo-called."

Draco took her bag and sat it down by the couch. He pushed her down as well. "You need to sit before you faint."

"Is she alright?" Snape asked, concerned.

"Effects of apparition," Draco said.

"It looks like more than that. How much sleep have you gotten, Sarah?" Snape went over to her and sat next to her.

"Not much," she admitted. "My thoughts…at night…I don't feel safe."

"Why didn't you say something?" Snape put his hand on her knee. "I would have stayed with you."

"You have your job," she said. "And Andi. I'm not going to take you away from people who need you."

"You need me too," Snape said.

"I do," Sarah lowered her head to rest in her hands, "God, this is hard."

"I know it must be."

"It's more than that."

"I see," Snape said, slowly.

She sniffled. "I haven't been completely honest with you about everything…really important things."

"I see," Snape's hand reached around to rub her back, "Out with it then."

"I think they killed Collin because I'm pregnant with his child."

Snape inhaled sharply, his hand stilled on her back, "Why ever didn't you say so?" he asked, incredulous.

"Collin and I wanted to wait until we knew that nothing would happen- until I was 12 weeks. And then…I was scared to say anything."

"Even to me?"

"I know that was horribly unfair to you. Somehow, I thought if I kept it close to me, that maybe it would be safer that way. I wouldn't be flaunting my pregnancy. I've been so very afraid. I didn't know what else to do. But I'm sorry- I should have told you when it happened."

Snape moved to take her into his arms, "I know you must be frightened, but you don't have to bear this alone. I'm going to protect you and this child." She buried her head in his shoulder, beginning to cry against him. He squeezed her tightly. She cried for a few minutes, before raising her head.

"But Orion…" she sniffled, "We know what happen to Orion."

"We aren't going to let that happen again, Sarah," Snape told her firmly, wiping her tears with his hands,"put it out of your mind."

"But he was perfectly pureblooded and this child…he or she isn't…it's going to be harder to protect the baby."

"Nothing will happen," Draco spoke up, "we are going to find out who did this and we are going to make sure they never do anything like this again. I promise you."

"It's a promise you may not be able to keep, Draco," Sarah said.

"Look at me," Snape said, his hands on her shoulders, "Look me in the eyes."

She looked at him, and he continued,

"Rest assured, he will keep that promise," Snape said, his voice firm, "we both will. Do you trust us?"

"Of course," she said, quietly.

"Good," he wiped the plastered hair from her face, tenderly before turning to look over to Draco, "How did you know, Draco when I did not?"

"When there wasn't a break in the case, I decided to approach Potter to go over the case myself. I noticed at the funeral, Sarah kept putting her hand on her stomach…"

"Like she did with Orion," Snape finished for him, "I should have picked up on that."

"I didn't at first either," Draco said, "I was at the funeral too, but it was when I watched it again."

"It's settled then…you'll stay here with Andi and myself at Hogwarts."

"I will be imposing on your life."

"Andi and I already talked about it. We both want you to be with us if that is what you need. Teddy sleeps over often. It's not like we have loads of privacy to begin with."

"But how long will it be for?" she sniffed, "I can't just wait forever. This baby is a muggle. I can't raise it in the wizarding world."

Snape frowned at that pronouncement, "The baby is just as likely to have magical powers, than naught."

She shook her head, "I'm raising this child in the way Collin was raised."

"If the baby is a witch or wizard, you can't just can't suppress the baby's…" Draco began to speak, but Snape turned his head and shot him a look, silencing him.

Awkward silence fell when finally they were interrupted by a knock and Harry, Lupin and Andi came in.

Sarah rose and went over to Harry and surprised them all by wrapping her arms around her old friend, burying her head in his shoulder and beginning to cry again.

Harry's arms immediately came around her, patting her back. He didn't say anything, giving her time to speak first.

"I'm sorry you did all the work these two weeks when I had the answer. I feel awful lying to you."

Snape reached for Andromeda's hand, who had come to sit next to him. Remus stood by Draco, listening carefully.

"That's alright, Paddy," Harry responded, "Just tell me now, won't you?"

"I'm going to have a baby…that's what changed. It's the only thing that changed. I polluted my pure-blood."

Harry gently disentangled her from her grasp on him. He looked at her, squarely, "That's brilliant news."

"Is it?" she sobbed. "Really?"

"Of course it is. Did Collin know?"

"He was over the moon, Harry. He was so excited. I can't bear to think of raising our child alone. How can I protect him or her?"

"We are going to find whoever did this," Harry said, "You have my word, Sarah. And you are not alone. You have Ginny and I…just like our parents had each other. I am not going to let anything happen to my honorary niece or nephew…or my best friend. Do you understand?"

She nodded, her blue eyes meeting his green.

"But I need you here with Snape and Andi. I know you want to stay at Collin's house to be close to your memories, but I need you here. Hogwarts has ancient magical protections, not to mention its Headmaster is a bloody powerful wizard. You can't fight me on this. I also want you to take your wand back."

"No," she shook her head in anguish and held his forearms, squeezing them. "I will stay here, but I won't take my wand back."

"Just keep it in your bedroom…just in case."

"No, Harry. I cannot. Please understand."

Harry sighed, "Very well. It's enough now for you to promise to stay here. Then we can pull the resources of the aurors back to work on determining who did this."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Of course not. I love you, Paddy. We all do."

"Will you come and see me later for a talk?" she sniffled, "Please."

Harry gently untangled her grasp and leaned over to kiss her cheek, "Absolutely. We have loads to catch up on. I promise."

She turned to Remus, "Remus…" she sniffled. "I'm so sorry I kept it from you too. I wanted to tell you...for days."

"Oh, Paddy," He came over to her and gave her a hug, "It's okay. I suspected pretty early on."

"Did you?" she pulled away, her hands still on his arms, "Why didn't you ask?"

"I knew you would tell when you were ready…or when you couldn't hide it any longer, which wouldn't be too much longer. And I didn't want to put you in the position where you told me and I would feel compelled to report it."

"Thank you," she said, sincerely.

Lupin reached to run his finger across her cheek, "You're welcome."

She looked at Harry, "He won't get in trouble for suspecting and not saying anything, will he?"

Harry raised his hands, "I wouldn't dare."

Snape cleared his throat, "I'm not exactly happy…"

Andi poked him, interrupting him, "It's a good thing that she has such loyal friends, love."

Snape gave her a look and then shook his head, wearily. "I will not argue with you, Andromeda."

"Not in public at least," She squeezed his hand before rising gracefully, "Sarah, darling, let's go get you settled. You look exhausted. I think a rest is in order."

"Aunt Andi, will you make sure she eats some more?" Draco asked his aunt. "She vomited after apparition and her morning sickness gets out of control on an empty stomach…or it used to."

"Malfoy, for God's sake, I'm not a child," Sarah countered. "And I'm standing right here."

"Of course, you aren't a child, but it is considerate of Draco to care, isn't it?" Andi put her arm around her step-daughter. "Come along."

"Of course," she stopped at the door where Draco was standing, "Andi is right. Thank you for everything, Draco," she squeezed his hand.

"Anytime, Black," he leaned to kiss her head.

The two women left and when the door closed and he was sure they were out of hearing, Draco let out a long groan.

"She has to take her wand back! It's ridiculous. Can't you do anything, Uncle Sev?"

"You can't force her to take it, Malfoy," Harry countered.

"And coddling this notion that we are the enemy, that her magic is the enemy isn't going to allow her to heal. Uncle Sev, you know I am right," Draco entreated.

Snape contemplated it, rising, his robes billowing as he paced. Finally, he paused, "Give her time."

"And if she doesn't come to the realization herself…" Draco asked.

"Then…we will confront her about it. All three of us," Snape said. "Including you, dragon. Since you are so perceptive to her needs right now."

"Can you believe that she said that she wouldn't allow the baby to be raised with magic?" Draco crossed his arms.

"You can't take it personally," Harry said, "she's grieving. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose Ginny or our boys. And she is lashing out at the wrong thing."

"It's just the longer she mulls over this and seethes, the harder it will be to sway her from it," Draco said. "I can't believe Collin would want that for her."

"He wouldn't," Snape said, "he was as concerned as all of us with her breaking with her magic completely. We had a conversation about it over Christmas. He was talking over it with her. The last time we spoke, he indicated that she said she would take her wand the next time she was at Snape Manor and do a few spells with me."

"He was a good bloke," Harry said, patting his hair down. "He loved her so well. I have to get back to it now that we know what triggered the attack."

"Find this person, Harry," Snape said.

"I will. I promised Sarah. And I don't break my promises to her." Harry left and Draco stood for a minute with his godfather.

"Severus?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"Do you think Dad had anything to do with this?"

Severus paused, "I think…" he paused again, "I think that is something that you should explore separately from the ministry's investigation."

"I'll kill him if he did this to her."

Severus looked at him evenly, "If he orchestrated this, then we have no option in this regard."

"Do you think…she'll take back her wand…eventually?"

"I do think that is something that we will have to confront her on. As you very well know, she is stubborn."

"Can't you get through to her?"

"I have tried, Draco," Severus admitted, "This whole issue is a sensitive spot between the two of us. That's why I had to get Collin involved. To be honest, I think it will come down to you or Harry. But it won't be pretty. You will have to stand your ground with her."

"Very well. Let her get through her morning sickness with the baby. And then we were go on from there."

Snape nodded, "In the meantime, I will have to find something here to occupy her mind…that doesn't have anything to do with magic."

"What will that be?" Draco asked, incredulously. "We are in a school that trains magical children. One in which she has a history."

"I don't know," Severus said, "I haven't quite figured that one out."

"Potions?"

"You know she will equate that with magic."

"What if she just prepares ingredients or something?"

"It might make her morning sickness worse," Snape said. He ran his hands across his face, sighing. "Merlin, I was so much better with her when she was under age and I could just scold her and smack her and break her will."

"Her will is iron-clad these days," Draco mused, "What about muggle studies?"

"What about it?"

"We are supposed to be using the summer session to sort out the new curriculum for next term. Who better to review the information than Sarah?"

"She would be qualified," Severus said, slowly, "but how would I convince her?"

"You'll use your Snape powers of persuasion. Tell her how important it is for us to have accurate information about the lives of muggles to end the wizarding prejudices against them. Appeal to her sense of justice. She'll agree to it."

"That could work," Snape nodded.

"Great. I'll just be off then," Draco said.

"Thank you, Draco," Snape said, sincerely. "You really saved the day here."

"Happy to help," Draco responded, "By the way, congratulations."

Snape looked startled for a moment, but then realized what he was referring to. "I'm going to be a grandfather."

"Feeling old now, Uncle Sev?" he laughed at him.

Severus waved his hand at him, "Go on with you, Dragon."

But when Draco left, Severus sat down and looked up at the portrait of Albus. "Don't say a word."

"I wouldn't dare, grandpa" Albus said, his eyes twinkling.

 **Up next:** Harry and Sarah reconnect, Sarah finds out the gender, and Draco confronts her about her magic.


	22. Hogwarts

**Chapter 22: Hogwarts**

Sarah twisted her ring absently and then sighed and began to pace around her small room at Hogwarts, deep in her tormented thoughts. A knock on the door interrupted her.

Snape poked his head in, "Have you finished unpacking?"

"Not really."

Snape's eyes traveled to the suitcase still sitting on the end of her bed. "Have you started?"

"No, not really."

"You shouldn't be living out of a suitcase for weeks. Unpack. Make yourself comfortable. I'll send Wiggles to help if you need it."

"I'd rather do so myself."

"But will you?"

"When I find the energy."

"Did you rest?" he pressed.

She shrugged. "I tried."

"I can practically hear you pacing from the hallway."

"I tried to rest," she pounded her fist against her forehead, rubbing it against it, "I wasn't exactly successful."

"It's only been a few hours and you are already this restless?" Snape asked, leaning against the door frame.

"I'm thinking."

"Clearly," Snape drawled. "however, you aren't going to solve this by isolating yourself in here."

"I'm trying to give you and Andi privacy. I know you like your time after dinner."

"Come join us."

"I can't intrude."

"You are my daughter. You won't intrude."

"Oh, Dad," Sarah admonished.

"What is it?"

Tears filled her eyes.

"This is your life now."

"And you will always be a part of that, Sarah Grace. You are a part of my family. This is still your home."

"What will I do here?" She asked, her voice cracking. "I can't be this inactive, especially after the pace Collin and I set for the past four years," she wiped her eyes and then reached for a tissue, "I have driven myself to insanity these past two weeks. Location won't matter in that regard."

"This situation is temporary until Potter finds out who is behind Collin's death."

"I will never be safe in this world even if they catch the perpetrators."

Snape frowned deepended, "Why on earth woud you say that?"

"Why wouldn't I say that? When have I ever been safe, Dad? And this child...I can't even begin...that is all I can think of."

"The Dark Lord is gone."

"The prejudices remain!"

"You are spiraling out of control," Snape came in and quietly clicked the door shut. He walked over to where she was pacing again, wringing the tissue in her hand, "Come. You must quiet your thoughts," he took her arm and lead her to the bed. "Sit down. This is not good for either you or the child to be this tortured."

"I will never not be tortured," She said, leaning over and buring her head in her hands.

Snape squeezed the back of her neck, "I know it must feel that way in this moment, but one day, it will not always be so."

"I'm having a hard time seeing the light, Dad. Everything just seems so dark and grim. Like things will never be right and even though I am trying to piece through all of this...without Collin, I can't find..." she paused, searching for the right word, "hope again."

Snape paused himself, choosing his words carefully, "Then you must depend on us to find it for you."

"You know how awful life can be. You are the most practical person I know to see things the way they are."

"I also know that when I was stuck in the monotony of life, of the darkness I created for myself and later the darkness I was trapped in at the Dark Lord's hand, I did have light in that darkness."

"Things felt pretty hopeless then," Sarah said, "Where was the light in all of that?"

He didn't hesitate, "you...it was in you."

She began to cry harder, "But the truth of the matter is, I brought so much heartache to that situation, with the Dark Lord targetting me."

"But you brought joy too. I feared for you, like I do now, but you were still you and you were still here...and that got me through."

"But Collin is not here."

"But his child will be," Snape said. "and I don't doubt for a moment, that when you meet him or her, you will find that light again."

"I'm scared that I will look at him or her and only think of what could have been...which is how I feel now."

"I don't think you will," Snape said. "I know you fear it though."

"The timing feels cruel though," her voice broke, "is that awful? I'm awful."

"No," Snape assured her, his arm around her, "you are right. It does seem cruel. But you were the greatest gift ever given to me when I needed it the most, and I don't doubt the same will be true of your child...even if having a child does bring challenges and heartbreaks along the way."

"I can't intrude with you and Andi, Dad," she straightened to lean her head against his shoulder, "You have to understand that I feel as if I am an outsider."

"You still have a home here," Snape said. "It matters not that I married Andromeda. She understands."

"It's just not alot of space."

"You have the whole castle."

"I can't just go wandering around the castle!"

"Since when is that true?" Snape laughed then, "You had seven years of wandering through this castle even when you shouldn't have been."

She rolled her eyes, "You know what I meant."

"This flat is not your prision. Feel free to wander if you like. Reaquaint yourself. Make friends."

"With the portraits?" Sarah asked, aghast.

He chuckled again, "I more meant with the other professors you stayed here."

"They look at me like I have three heads!"

"Once they get to know you again, they'll be charmed by you as the rest of the world," Snape drawled.

"Not this world."

"You still have your allies," his tone dropped the sarcasm.

She twisted her hands. "I don't know."

"Lift your head and hear me out," Snape said, quietly. "I need you to really listen to me."

"I am listening to you," she protested but lifted her head anyway.

"You are finding a counter for everything I say."

"I am not."

He gave her a look that only Snape could.

"I'm not being argumentative!"

"You are just in a less blatant, more moderated way," Snape said, "but that isn't what concerns me here."

"What concerns you?"

"You said you need something to occupy you...away from all these thoughts that plague you."

"I do."

"And I'm offering you something, but only if you promise that it won't be a substitute to truly grieving your loss."

"What do you have to offer me?" she asked curiously.

"Promise me first. You must face your feelings over Collin's death, not bury them in work."

She looked in his eyes, "I promise."

"Very well. I need your help then."

"With?"

"The muggle studies curriculum needs updating. It is quite an extensive project, one that we need to finish before start of term."

"Why can't the muggle studies professor handle it?"

"We haven't had that position filled since the Dark Lord," Snape said, "Other professors cover the class."

"Why not? It is safe, isn't it?"

"Yes," Snape let out his breath, "but the memory of what happened to the last professor has lingered in the minds of everyone. The Dark Lord is dead, but as you well know, the threats...and the prejudices still remain."

"I know."

"So will you help? You have been living as a muggle for four years. Surely you are well qualified to update the curriculum. I'd understand if you are feeling too poorly."

"I'm beginning to feel better...another week or two and I should come out of first trimester woes."

"Then will you?"

She nodded. "Sure. Why not?"

"Good," Snape said, "the board will offer you compensation, of course."

She waved her hand, "Don't bother."

"I insist," Snape said, seriously.

"Very well, Headmaster," she paused and then smiled, "It fits you, you know? So well."

"I do hope I am more deserving of that honor this time around."

"You were deserving of it that time as well," Sarah insisted. "You tried to keep us all safe."

Snape gave her a smile smile as he stood and stretched out his hand, "Come then. I know you can't drink wine, but certaintly we can find you something that will relax you from those tomented thoughts...even if it is just the company."

She took his hand and he pulled her up, "Thanks, Dad. Really."

"You're most welcome."

* * *

Two nights later, Sarah was lounging in Snape's chair, her feet on the ottoman, the current muggle studies text book in her hand, and her marking up the text, with great flourishes of her pen. Snape and Andi were on the couch talking in low tones and both drinking a glass of wine, occasionally looking over at her and exchanging amused glances at her expression and mutterings of frustration. She was attacking the muggles studies text like Snape did poor potions essays in his tenure as potions professor, the comparison between the two Snapes undeniable. Snape, in his good humor since marrying Andi and the ability to laugh at his own idiosyncrasies, found her likeness of him quite diverting.

"I'm going to have to write the text myself," She finally looked over at Snape, who quickly schooled his expression.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "Surely, it isn't that bad to warrent such drastic measures."

"I have found 23 inconsistencies so far!" She exclaimed. "Who writes this rubbish? And why on earth would you ever approve it?"

"What do I know of such things?"

Her eyes widened, "We live in a muggle village! Surely, you aren't that out of touch."

Andi took another sip of wine, trying not to laugh.

"I have wanted to tackle this curriculum for years," Snape defended, "but it is at the discretion of the headmaster and the board. It took quite a bit of convincing from Draco to have the board approve this change."

"I can only imagine," she retorted, sarcastically. "I'm sure they didn't think the endevour worthy enough considering it is only muggles. What's a few misleading information in the grand scheme of things. Dunderheads the whole lot of them!"

Andi finally giggled, turning her head and covering her mouth.

Snape elbowed her, only his great ability to guard thoughts through years of practice saving him from breaking down into laughter like his wife.

Sarah looked over at her, incrediciously, "What is so funny? I thought you would be on my side with this."

"Absolutely I am completely. And you are right," She chuckled.

"Then why are you laughting?

"You are just so... like him," she gestured to Snape, "Do you realize?"

She looked startled for a moment and then smiled as well. "I suppose I must look like Snape does with first year potions essays, right?"

"Yes. All night. It's uncanny. And then the sarcasm," Andi laughed more, "You two are made from the same fabric that is for sure."

"Surely, I am not quite as bad," Sarah said, laughing more.

"Now, now, Black," Snape chided. "Give yourself a few more years to perfect the Snape scowl." He glared at her for good measure.

She laughed more. "Harry and Ron were always afraid of it when I tried to use it on them," she admitted, wiping the tears from her laughter. "They thought it was uncanny too, but I always got what I wanted from them."

"Precisely," Snape smiled at her.

"Didn't so much work for Collin though," she said. "He would laugh at me," her mind wandered and her smile faded.

Snape and Andi exchanged a glance.

"How about some tea?" Snape suggested. "Peppermint. You are looking peaky."

"Sure," She nodded, but they got interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I hope there isn't trouble again," Snape frowned and stood, smoothing down the wrinkles in his dark trousers. He walked over and opened the door, "Potter."

"Someone decided to make an appearance early this morning and wanted to meet everyone."

"Do not tell me that you apparated with the baby," Snape scolded, but stepped aside and ushered him in.

"Gin said it was okay," Harry defended, rocking the baby.

Sarah put her books aside and stood, "That's marvelous news, Harry!" she exclaimed, smiling. She leaned down to look at the baby, Harry adjusting the blanket so she could see his tiny face. "Isn't he precious?!" she declared. "Is Ginny doing okay?"

"Just wonderfully," Harry nodded, "Do you want to hold him?"

"Of course," she nodded. She paused, "How should we do this?"

Harry grinned at her and then expertly shifted the baby, "Newborns are always a bit tricky," he told her, "take your hand and put it under his neck. Good, now, other hand around his back and then just shift him the way you want him. Against your chest...or cradle him in your arms or hold him out just like that so you can talk to him."

She awkwardly juggled the baby, but held him out so she could get a proper look at him and talk to him. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" she said, smiling at the baby, "Yes, you are." She looked over at Harry, "I don't think I am very good at this though."

"Nah," Harry rubbed the baby's head tenderly, "You'll be great at it. You have always been a quick study at anything you do."

"She has," Snape said, reassuringly.

Sarah turned her head towards Snape, "Dad, you should hold him. He is your namesake, after all."

"Very well then."

Andi patted the cushion next to her, "Come sit here, Sev, so I can see too."

Snape sat on the couch and Sarah handed the baby back to Harry, who place the child in Severus's arms, "Headmaster, meet your godson...Albus Severus, this is your godfather and one of the men whom you were named after."

The baby's eyes opened and looked around.

"He is awfully alert for a newborn, isn't he?" Andi asked, "Look at those eyes though! That's rare for him to be born with that colour."

"Rare, but fitting," Harry said, his voice low.

Sarah walked over to see what they were all talking about. She paused and then smiled, affectionely looping her arm through Harry's. Tears formed in her eyes. "That's so perfect, Harry," she sniffled.

"You have your grandmum's eyes, Albus," Severus told the newborn, "and she was one of my best friends. I will tell you all about her one day."

"I'll depend upon that," Harry said quietly.

Sarah swatted at her tears and both Snape and Harry looked at her.

"Hormones," she said, defensively.

Harry laughed, "I think Aunt Sarah would have been crying no matter what," Harry told his son, "but she's one of _my_ best friends. I can't wait for you to get to know her better."

"Me too," Sarah said. She leaned over to rub the baby's cheek with her finger. "Albus Severus Potter, we are so glad you are here." She paused and turned to Harry, "What a name, Harry!"

Harry chuckled, "He'll grow into it. And in the meantime, I think we'll call him Al."

"Wise choice," Severus murmurred. "The headmaster would have been tickled, Potter."

"Well, about that..." Harry looked sheepish, "I have a confession to make, Severus."

"Which is?" Snape asked, studying the infant.

"I snuck into your office before I came here to visit the Headmaster."

Sarah giggled at the glare Snape was now giving Harry.

"There it is," she winked at Andi.

"You could have asked me, Potter."

"What fun is in that?" Sarah interrupted, lightly. "You are going to have your hands full with the Potter heirs, Dad."

Harry snorted, "You aren't one to talk."

"No, she is not," Severus said, adjusting the blanket. "But I must say I am awfully fond of both of them, your father and your Aunt Sarah in spite of their _many_ troublesome faults."

She leaned to whisper in Harry's ear, "You chose wisely, Harry."

"Yes, I did."

* * *

Two weeks later, she ushered him in again, holding her finger to her lips. Harry nodded and carefully held the baby against him with one arm to reach for his wand with his other hand, casting a silencing charm as not to wake Andi and Severus.

Sarah sat on the couch, her back against the arm, facing him who sat next to her.

"I'm surprised you were up," Harry said.

"I couldn't sleep again," she admitted. "Some nights are better than others. This one was bad."

"I'm glad you sent Wiggles," Harry responded, "I told you to do so at anytime."

"I was thinking you might be up with the little one," Sarah said, as Albus began to fuss. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure. See if you can get him to sleep." Harry gave him to her and she cradled him against her chest, patting his back as he fussed a bit, before calming down against her. "I told you would be a natural," he commented.

"I don't know about that," she said, continuing to snuggle. "He is so soft," she took his tiny hand in hers, "and tiny. He's perfect. Are you sure Gin didn't mind you coming over?"

"She was happy for the quiet," Harry responded. "We have about two hours before his next feeding and he seems like he was going to be up. She's exhausted between this one and caring for James during the day."

"I'm sure," she said, studying the baby's tiny fingers. "it was really sweet you naming Albus after Dad, Harry."

"Are you sure you didn't mind? I should have asked you like last time. Gin got on me about it afterwards."

"Collin and I were just trying for so long without success," she said, quietly, "It was selfish of me to feel that way. Dad is touched by it. I'm glad you two have found your peace finally."

"He's a good man."

"The best."

"But...?" Harry asked.

"Things are different with Dad being married."

"It was just you and him for so long."

"I just feel I am being intrusive."

"Has Andi said anything?"

"No, but I don't know if it is that Andi is really okay with this or if Dad didn't leave her much of a choice."

"He is going to put his protection of his daughter and his grandchild over anything else at this point."

"That's precisely my concern. He needs to be sensitive to Andi's need for his attention too. That and his taking over the Headmaster duties, he is not going to be around alot and I don't want her to think I am taking too much of his time. I don't want her to end up resenting me. I mean...Andromeda is great and all, but she is related to Bellatrix and Narcissa and we know how those two woman felt about me."

"You have the same Black family genes," Harry commented, "and you aren't like either of them. Talk it out with Andromeda if you are concerned."

"I just don't want to put Dad in an uncomfortable position with his wife."

"Then talk to Snape."

She pursed her lips, "I tried to...delicately."

"And?"

"He waved it off."

"Your father is going to do what is right for both you and Andi. Maybe it is time to trust his judgement again. He manuevered both death eaters and order members for years, don't you think he can handle you and Andromeda?"

"Perhaps," she patted Albus's back. "When term starts he will be increadibly busy. I know all about having a husband preoccupied by his work."

"But you wouldn't have traded it, would you?"

"No," Sarah took a breath, "these years with Collin were the best of my life."

They fell quiet, Sarah continuing to pat the baby's back. Finally, Harry spoke,

"Why was tonight bad?" Harry asked, his voice low.

"You know how it is," she said, her voice cracking, sucumbing to tears.

"How what is?"

"The dreams."

His look with sympathetic, "You dreamed of Collin..."

"And his death." She sniffed hard, "Voldemort was there. In my dream, he killed Collin."

"He still torments you even after all these years, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he does," she took another breath, the tears falling down her cheeks, "the thing is...if he had won, this baby I'm carrying would be his. I'm grateful, but in spite of that, I will probably always fear what could have been. He found a way back once before...what if..." her voice faded.

"He is gone."

"What if we missed a horcrux?"

"Sarah..." Harry's voice was soft, "we didn't. I promise you."

"It's just...I'm carrying the child of a muggle, Harry. He has killed over it before. He killed Collin's wife and child once before. And Collin was killed by his followers that are still lingering, so..." She reached for the tissue Harry conjured for her. "It's just the hormones, I think. It's making me irrational."

"Sarah," Harry's voice was hoarse, "You can't torture yourself with things that will never happen."

"I don't believe it is never, Harry, in this moment...I believe it could happen even if I know it is irrational, it feels real, the dream felt real."

"What's going on?" Snape's voice startled both of them, who were so lost in their conversation they didn't realize Snape had been standing there.

The baby began to cry when Sarah jolted at Snape's voice and she handed him back to Harry, who began to rock him. He shifted through his bag that he carried and retrieved a dummy, putting it Al's mouth, who settled down again.

"It's nothing," Sarah said, wiping her eyes.

"It doesn't seem like nothing," Snape said, going to sit in his armchair.

"We didn't mean to wake you, Severus."

"You didn't," he said, "I had awaken and I thought I would go check on things in the castle."

"Don't let us stop you," Sarah said.

He ignored her, "I didn't realize you were here," he told Harry.

"Silencing charms," Harry said, "we didn't want to bother you and Andromeda, but we were both up, so we thought we could have a visit."

"Naturally," Snape said, "Why you are up, Sarah? I understand Potter with little Albus, but you should be asleep."

"I had a dream," she said, "Oh bother, how long were you standing there?"

"Enough to hear that your dream felt real."

"Dad," Sarah shifted and then pushed herself up to go sit on the ottoman. She crossed her arms against herself, "Tell me there is no way for the Dark Lord to thrwart Death again."

His look turned pained, "Was the Dark Lord in your dream?"

"He killed Collin in it," she tapped her fingers against her stomach, "Could he use a time turner? Did we miss a horcrux? Could there be any way he could return?"

"I..." he paused, "I don't believe so."

"But it isn't out of the realm of possibility?" her voice rose slightly.

"Calm yourself," Snape said, reaching for her hand, "It was just a dream. Your mind is unsettled. It is leading you to dark places."

"There is no intelligence to say that Voldemort isn't dead," Harry offered. "I'm head of the aurors. I would know."

She let out a long breath, "Dad."

Snape looked at her, long and hard. Finally, he squeezed her hand, "Potter is right."

She bit her lip, "Okay."

"Still, I think it would be prudent for you to take your wand back. Maybe practice some occlumency. You aren't sleeping well. You need rest. You are growing a child inside of you."

She shook her head swiftly, "No."

"Sarah Grace..."

"Dad, no!" she said, more forcibly.

Severus looked beyond her to meet Harry's look.

She turned her head around, "Don't you say anything."

"I'm just rocking Albus here," Harry said, innocently, "I'm not saying anything about your Auntie Sarah being so stubborn," he told the baby.

"I know you two don't get it. But please don't press this...not right now."

Severus let out a long breath, "You need to rest, Sarah."

"I'll go to bed now."

"Albus needs to get back to Ginny," Harry said, standing with the baby, and picking up his bag.

Sarah went over to where Harry was standing. She leaned down to kiss the baby on the head, "Thank you, Al, for the snuggle." She leaned up and kissed Harry on the cheek, "And for the chat, Harry."

"For what is worth, this world isn't the same without you, Sarah," Harry said, quietly, "I missed you."

She smiled at him, "I missed you too."

He returned her smile before leaving with the baby.

Watching him leave, all the sudden, she felt very weary.

Snape came over to her and put his arm around her shoulders. He didn't say anything at first, until Sarah dropped her head against him. "Are you tired now?"

"I think I was always tired, Dad. My lack of sleep has nothing to do with me not being tired."

"I know. You do need your rest, not late night social calls with Potter."

"But it's like old times," Sarah said, another smile forming, "right?"

"Undoubtly," Snape led her down the hall to the door of her room, "And I do have to admit it was good to see you two together. There is something oddly comforting about seeing you and Potter conspiring again."

"We never conspired," Sarah said, as she turned around to face Snape, her back to her door.

Snape chuckled, "It was in your blood to. And partly in your best interest. You helped each other survive."

"The four of us were always like family..."

Snape looked at her seriously, "You have so many people that love you, Sarah. Don't forget that."

"I won't," She nodded and then leaned over to give Snape a kiss on the cheek, "Night, Dad. I love you."

"Night, Sarah Grace. Sleep well."

* * *

Sarah chewed on her pen, deep in thought. Finally, she stood, stretched and gathered up the text she was working on to find Snape to ask his opinion with the wording for the essays she wanted to recommend being assigned.

He said that he would be in the potions classroom if she needed him, so she made the familar treck down the halls of Hogwarts to the classroom that she spent so much of her time in, taking breaths as she went. Walking the halls envoked so many memories and emotions, the feeling of de-je-vu strong. Although instead of the swish of her robes, her flip-flops flopped against the old marble halls. She was so engrossed in her work that she had forgotten she was still in her yoga pants and shirt.

"Hello," she called out, but she still startled a little girl who was brewing her potion, causing her to drop what she was holding in her hand into the cauldron.

"Oh no," she said, as her cauldron began to bubble furiousely, "I think I did something wrong." The girl was young, blonde haired, perhaps a first or second year...and suddenly very worried.

Sarah looked around, "Where is Professor Snape?"

"He said he would be back in _precisely_ ," she emphasized the word similiar to what Snape must have, "five minutes and then sent the house-elf to watch me, but he is going to be so upset, I think it is ruined." The little girl's eyes filled with tears.

Sarah looked over to the houseelf who was surpervising the girl and nodded her greeting.

Sarah put down the texts on the table in the front of the room and then moved by the girls side, "Don't panic."

"Have you ever seen the Headmaster disappointed? He is going to be so upset with me."

"In fact I have," Sarah said, calmly, "many a times. In this very room in fact. Take a breath and let's see what we have here." She looked over at the girl's potions text and then at the potion, frowning. She went over the the cabinets and fumbled around, pulling out another root plant.

"Hand me your knife for a moment," she instructed.

The girl handed her over the knife and Sarah chopped the root thinly and sprinkled it into the cauldron, the boiling calming.

"Now you can continue," she said, "the potion's properties were unbalanced, but it should be alright now and Snape won't know the difference."

"Are you sure?"

"Not entirely, but there is a good chance."

"How good of a chance?"

"Um," Sarah frowned, "75% maybe. It doesn't matter. I can talk to him and it will be fine. I startled you. This was completely my fault."

"I was going to drop it in anyways," The girl sighed. "I just can't seem to get it right."

"Yes, well, I have had those days," Sarah smiled sympathetically, "What's your name?"

"Charlotte."

"Charlotte," Sarah extended her hand, "I'm Sarah. It's very nice to meet you."

The girl stared at her as she shook her hand, "I've seen you in the papers. You were married to the prime minister."

"Yes, I was," Sarah kept her voice light, "How did you know that?"

"I lived in the orphanage," she said, matter of factly, "the muggle one."

"Did you?" Sarah questioned, "Which one?"

"The one in Greenwich."

"I see," Sarah said, "Collin and I visited there a few times. I don't recall seeing you."

"You probably see loads of children."

"Yes," Sarah said, slowly, trying to place her, but unwittingly was giving her the Snape stare down.

"They kept me away during those visits," Charlotte said, quickly.

"Why?" she asked, frowning.

"I did things I didn't mean to."

"With your magic?" Sarah asked, her heart aching for the girl.

"Yes."

"That isn't your fault," Sarah tried to assure her, "Your professors explained it to you."

"Professor Snape did. Sometimes I still feel bad about it and he talks it over with me again."

Sarah paused, putting the pieces together. Snape would only have that nurturing relationship with one of his own.

"So you were sorted into..."

"Slytherin. I'm the only muggle born in Slytherin. Professor Snape is trying to help me learn all the things I never knew, but it's alot," Charlotte said, "And potions in the worst. I almost failed my first year."

"What year are you?"

"I'll be a third year," Charlotte said, "I saw your wedding on the telly," she paused, the connection dawning, "You are the Headmaster's daughter."

"I am," Sarah said, "that's how I know how it feels to have the Headmaster disappointed with you, but," She paused and then leaned over to her, "if you are trying, he may fuss, but he understands. Take it from me, I was dreadful at all of this my first few years."

"Are you dreadful at it now?" Charlotte asked, "because I could use some help."

Sarah laughed, "I'm afraid I'm out of practice."

"But could you help," Charlotte asked, rather desparately, "please?"

"Sure, I can," Sarah nodded and then walked around the other side to point to the text, "The key is that you have to be very precise and particular about the directions. Disciplined. You added too much root and these are chopped too thick. Let me show you."

Sarah showed her how to chop the root correctly, correcting her handling of her knife and then cautioned her as she tried to stir prematurely. "Patience," she said.

"It takes forever," Charlotte said, "Who has time for all of this?"

Sarah laughed, "Goodness, you have no idea how often I thought exactly what you are thinking." She gestured to her, "Stir now. Three times. _Counter_ clockwise."

"So what did you do?" Charolotte followed her direction.

"I learned patience," Sarah said, "And enjoyed the process of it more. I found the waiting soothing. There you are. You can cast the spell to hold it static for the hour."

"Professor Snape always does it."

"You can do it," Sarah encouraged.

"Can you do it?"

"I don't have my wand."

"Why ever not?" Charlotte asked, surprised.

"I gave it up when I married my husband."

"Oh," Charlotte turned to her, "The secrecy laws."

"Yes."

"But can't you now that...?" she paused.

"I'll do it for you," a voice echoed from the entranceway, startling both of them.

"Headmaster," Charlotte looked positively terrified and Sarah shot Snape a warning look to be gentle. Snape went over to where the girls were standing to examine the potion. He waved his wand over it.

"It is fine, Charlotte," Snape's voice was even. "We will redo it tomorrow, this time without so much assistance, eh?"

"Yes, sir."

"It is almost dinner time. Go back to your room and change," he said.

She nodded, "Yes, sir."

She gathered her text, "Bye, Sarah," she said, over her shoulder.

"Bye. It was nice to meet you, Charlotte."

"Likewise."

Sarah turned to Snape once Charlotte was out of hearing, "How long were you standing there?"

"I said I would be back in five minutes and I was true to my word."

"Why didn't you interrupt?" Sarah asked, aghast. "It must have been a half an hour."

"You had it well in hand. Perhaps, even better than I could."

Sarah began to clean up the ingrediants, "A muggle born Slytherin. That poor girl."

"She is strong, reminds me of you actually," Snape said.

"She seems sweet, Dad. I don't want her defeated."

"I would not worry so. The Slytherins are generally more kind than in your days to one of their own, muggle born or not. The old prejudices, while still there, of course, are starting to loosen their hold."

"But not completely?"

"Of course not.

"What will she do without you as her head?"

Snape shot her a look, "Do you think I will abandon my Slytherins so readily? I appointed a new head of course, but I will still very much be involved."

"You don't want to be accused as being unfair."

"I will be involved with _all_ of our students now," Snape said, giving her a small smile. "regardless of house."

"They are lucky for that," Sarah responded, still cleaning up by hand, "but why is she here and not in the orphanage?"

"Well," Snape swiped his wand, cleaning up the potion, "That would be due to the Head of the board."

"Draco?" Sarah paused, her hand above the rubbish bin.

"He started the program for muggle born orphans...or even anyone without a home to participate in a summer term if they wish. It has helped Charlotte hone her skills. He was the one who found Charlotte."

Sarah's heart flooded with emotion as her hand opened, dropping the root into the bin, "That was very good of him to do."

"He is a very good man," Snape said, quietly.

"Yes, he is," She paused, "Where is he, Dad?"

"Giving you space."

"I appreciate it, but..." she leaned against the table, "I don't need space from Draco."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," Sarah nodded, "He's family, Dad."

"Then it would be fine to invite him to supper as normal?"

"Of course."

"Good, then this Friday night?"

"Yes."

"I'll let Andi know."

She walked back to where Snape was standing, "If I want to..." she paused, looking around the room, "Would it be possible to...?" she began again and then paused once more, conflicted.

"What is it?" Snape asked, but read her quite perfectly. The few minutes brewing had awakened feelings in her again.

She took a breath, trying to reconcile brewing with her distain for using her wand and not coming up with a solution, "Never mind."

She forced a smile, "I had a few questions for you about the wording of these essays. Do you have a few moments for me?"

"Of course, but only for my _most_ favorite Gryffindor," Snape said, dryly, reaching for her notes.

She pursed her lips but then chuckled, "You aren't funny."

"I will be fair, Sarah Grace. If I didn't think I could, I wouldn't have accepted the position."

"Of course," she blushed, "Old habits rearing their ugly heads."

"It isn't unjustified; I was bloody awful at times."

"We were pretty bloody awful to you back."

"I was the adult though."

"And you had a role to play."

"Yes, my role was precarious."

She let out a long sigh, "Life is never simple. Even when I strived for normal, it was never normal."

"Then, perhaps, we need to change our strivings," Snape mused, "don't you think?"

Sarah shrugged, "I don't know anymore."

"Well, perhaps, I can at least help you with your questions, if not solve all of your problems today."

She smiled, "That would help."

"Good."

* * *

"You should have seen her, Andromeda," Snape said, pacing around their bedroom, "This. This is what she needs. It is what she said she wanted."

"What people say they want change, Sev," Andi said, "What you want as a teenager isn't usually what you want as an adult."

"But she is so natural at it," Snape said, "She is the one who should be Headmaster one day."

Andromeda looked skeptical, "Are you sure you aren't reading into it what you wish?"

"She was always raised for _more_. She needs to take back her wand and take control of her destiny."

"She doesn't want that. And now she has the child to consider."

"What is she supposed to do? Stay at home with the baby?" Snape scoffed, "Like you did?"

"No," Andi let out a breath, "but it was the two of us."

"She has us."

"She will want her privacy soon, once the investigation is over. She will try to do this on her own. And that door will be a hard one to go through."

"You practically are raising Teddy," Snape crossed his arms, "how is it different?"

"Lupin needs me, with his situation."

"I don't deny it, but Sarah will need me as well."

"I'm just saying that you raised an independent woman, Severus. You can't force her to think the way you want her to think now that she is grown when you raised her to do the opposite."

"But...she will get there."

"Maybe, maybe not. You may not know what is best."

Severus stared her down.

Andi frowned, "Don't do that. You know I am right."

"You are not right," Severus countered, "I do know what is best. There is no one that knows her better than I."

"You have your job. You have become Headmaster. It is an enormous responsibility."

"One that I can take and support Sarah's child if she wants to persue her potions degree. Or I will apprentice her myself. Merlin knows I am qualified."

"You can't force her to take something she doesn't want. Even suggesting it will be disastarious. She won't touch her wand even."

"She will."

"How do you know?"

"When the time is right...I will put Draco to the task."

Andi raised an eyebrow, "That is gambling. Her feelings of grief are so fresh. They could get mixed up into something there."

"She wants him around for our weekly dinners."

"That's fine," Andromeda said, "but don't put them in situations that force emotional intimacy."

"Andromeda, that is not what I am doing. Draco has been her friend, her family for all these years. And he doesn't coat things for her. He challenges her, but he is fiercely protective of her. It is that balance that drew her to him so long ago. And if she needs to take back her wand, which she does..."

"Does she?" Andi titled her head, "Why?"

"For protection."

"That's just an excuse you are using."

"It is her greatest defense/ She is a witch, Andi. One with significant potential. She could be as powerful as Dumbledore was...or _he_ was."

"And she has chosen not to persue her magical ability further."

"That isn't what she wants."

"How do you know?"

"I know!"

"Okay."

Snape frowned, "What do you want to say?"

Andi shrugged.

"Out with it, Andromeda," he growled.

"I think her power is something you have always been proud of."

"Of course, I have! What is the harm in that?" Snape stopped his pacing and turned on his heels, staying still.

"When you stop seeing her, only her potential, then it is more about your pride then her wellbeing."

"Do you really think so little of me?"

"No, I don't, but you have always been complex. You chose you know who once upon a time because that is what you believe and though you have softened in those beliefs, you hold your cards close to you."

"You believe I am prejudiced against muggles."

"At times, I think you think that we are better than them because of our magical power."

"Then why did you marry me if that view is so repulsive to you?"

Andromeda sat up on her knees, "Because I love you. And I see the good man you are inspite of those smudges, ones that we all have in one way or another." She let out her breath, "Severus, darling, I don't want these things to come between us."

"Sarah?"

"No, it's not just that."

"I didn't know you craved attention so much. Even Narcissa would have been sympathetic to me defending my daughter."

She winced, but then defended, heartedly, "She was always wrapped up in Draco. But that isn't necessarily healthy method of parenting, especially your adult child."

They started at each other, the moment charged, before Snape grunted out, "I have to go do a night walk through."

"Okay," Andromeda nodded, "I want to go check on Teddy anyways. He had a bit of a tummy ache."

"I can do that for you on my way out," Severus said, his tone moderating.

"Thank you," she swallowed hard, tears forming in her eyes.

Severus turned to walk away but then came back and lifted her chin, so he could kiss her lips. "You do make valid points, Mrs. Snape. We will talk this over later. Perhaps over dinner in Hogsmede? I'll clear my schedule."

"I'd like that."

He kissed her again, more heartedly, "I'll be back. Don't go into too deep of a sleep that I will feel guilty waking you."

"We can't have that," She laughed and then kissed him again, "I love you."

"I love you too. Never forget that."

"I won't."

"Good, because the way Draco challenges Sarah and vice-versa is the way you challenge me."

"And vice versa."

"And vice versa," he affirmed, "And why it is not pleasant, sometimes I need your different perspective. I don't think you are quite right, but we can hash out some of this later."

"Sounds good."

"I've be back soon." he gave her one last smile and then left the room, his robes billowing behind him.

A/N: this chapter became to long. Up next: Sarah finds out the gender and Draco confronts her about her wand.


	23. Magic

**A/n:** Sorry for the delay- also, for those reading LoveAtDarkest, I will begin writing the new chapter next. Things are BUSY. Thanks for sticking with me! :)

 **Chapter 23** : **Magic**

"Draco," Sarah allowed him in to the flat at Hogwarts, "Come on in. You're early."

"I thought we could catch up without Uncle Sev and Aunt Andi here," he confessed, sheepishly.

"No, it's perfect, I'm very glad you did," she said, with a smile, "you can help me set the table. And, before you say anything," she raised her hand to stop him, "yes the house elves can do that, and no we aren't using magic, okay?" she raised her eyebrows dramatically and he chuckled at her.

"I wasn't going to ask."

She put a hand on her hip and gave him a skeptical look.

"Alright, Alright," he gestured for her to move on, "you know me too well, Black."

She smiled at him and he led the way to the small dining room. She handed him some plates, while she folded the napkins.

As she was working, she noticed that Draco was staring at her.

"What is it?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Black, it's just..." Draco paused, before blurting out, "you are much bigger than you were with Orion. Have you been checked for twins?"

"Oh my God, Draco Malfoy," she smacked him on the arm, "you show sooner with your second child and yes, I'm sure, one baby."

"Sorry," Draco shook off the sting on his arm and then looked at her again, "you look good, though. _Really_."

She chuckled, "I'm not really offened, Malfoy," she told him, putting the forks around.

"Have you had another appointment yet though?"

"I haven't been sure how to work it," she said, honestly, "there. Looks good. The flowers are droopy though. Oh well," she reached to retrieve them, but Draco had beaten her to it, magically restoring the flowers.

"Okay, that works too," she said and she led Draco out of the room into the living room, "Let's sit."

"Okay," Draco said. "How are you doing?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Good."

"That's good." They were silent for a few moments before they turned to each other at the same time and laughed at how awkward they were being.

"Shall we try this again?" Draco asked. "This time acting like we have been friends for the past thirteen years?"

"Sure," she said, leaning back.

"How are you, Black?"

She was silent for a few minutes before turning her head, tears in her eyes, "Not so good."

He looked at her, tenderly, "I'm sorry, Sarah. Really, truly sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"I know. I often don't know what to say to this all."

"Are you keeping busy?"

She sighed, "I'm trying. This muggle studies project has been extensive, but I can't hide away in this flat forever."

"It won't be forever," Draco tried to assure her, "Potter is working on it. We have so many aurors working on it."

She nodded, wiping the tears, "I met someone the other day."

"Who is that?" he reached for the tissues sitting on the table and handed her one.

"Charlotte."

"Good," he nodded, "I was hoping you would meet."

"How did you find her?" she blew her nose.

Draco shifted, "Well, Collin had found her first."

She paused, crumpling up the tissue in her hand, "I don't understand."

"He suspected something was admiss so he reached out through our back channels."

"Why wouldn't he tell me that he suspected magical children were being unfairly treated at the orphanges we visited?"

"Well, if you ask me, I think he thought you would be less diplomatic in your response."

Sarah winced, "Probably."

"But it got me thinking that maybe there were more children out there, like Charlotte and like," he paused and Sarah intervened,

"Voldemort."

"Yes, like him," he said, "there should be a way to reach those children before get to Hogwarts. So often unknowningly magical behavior is treated as deliquent behavior, since the muggle world doesn't know of such things. So we started a program through the ministry."

"How does your father feel about that?"

Draco shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

"And was it your idea for the summer program?"

"Yes."

"Very well done, Draco," Sarah smiled at him.

"Thank you," he smiled back. "We aren't all bad, you know."

She let out a long breath, "Yes, of course, I know that."

"Do you?" Draco, challenged, his question sharp-edged.

"Draco," Sarah pleaded, "Please not now."

"How long then before we can talk about it?"

"I don't know."

"You are going to have to face these feelings, you do know that?"

"Not now."

"Very well. As you wish," Draco said, poking his finger against the couch. "How is the muggle studies curriculum going?"

"The text was rubbish."

"So I heard," he said, dryly.

"I'm writing supplementary materials to go along with it, correcting the inconsistencies."

"Did Snape approve that?"

She raised an eyebrow, "He's humoring me, I think."

"Well, you are qualified, I suppose," Draco said.

She shifted, "I am that."

She moved again, trying to get more comfortable, her back aching, when she stilled.

Draco sat up straighter and leaned towards her, "What's wrong?"

She lifted her hand a moment and then closed her eyes before her hand moved to her stomach, "There it is," she murmurred.

"Sarah," Draco's voice was urgent.

She turned her head, her eyes glistening with tears, "I'm fine. It's the baby. I felt him. I forgot how it felt to have a baby move inside of you. It's a little miracle," her fingers moved to grip her stomach, lightly, smiling brightly before a shadow passed over her features as her face crumpled.

"Nothing will happen to the baby," Draco reached for her hand, gripping it tightly, "You must believe me. I couldn't save our son for us, but I will defend this baby for you if need be. You have my vow."

"We were powerless against them."

"But we are in the position of power now. It is different."

"They got to Collin."

"Do you need me to make the unbreakable vow with you or do you trust me?" Draco squeezed her hand, "Look at me."

She forced her eyes to look at him and he continued, "I promised you once before that I would lay my life down for you if it came to that and there are many others in our world that would do the same. Do you remember?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"It hasn't changed. So much has changed, but not that. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, wiping her eyes with her other hand, "I just have all these conflicting feelings, Draco, and I sway from one end to the other. I'm scared to hope because when I do, it always end badly."

"Collin should be here sharing this moment with you," Draco's voice was low. "But he would want you to feel happiness in your child."

"I miss him," she said as Draco released her hand gently.

"Of course you do," Draco said, "Don't become so defeated, Sarah. You are the strongest person I know."

"I'm trying. My fears, I don't know what to do with them sometimes. They are overwhelming."

"Try to focus your mind on something else," Draco suggested.

She nodded again, "I am. Like this little one," she tapped her fingers against her again, "I missed an appointment with my midwife."

"Did you tell anybody that you needed to go?" Draco asked.

Sarah shrugged, "Who would I tell?"

"Snape. Potter. Lupin. Aunt Andi. There is a whole list of people."

"They would just say it isn't safe."

"Would you be opposed to them bringing in someone here?"

"Only a few people know about this baby and we have to keep it that way...and we can't bring in a muggle and I don't want to use magical intervention in this pregnancy. I want to do things the muggle way."

"Sarah," Draco chided, "at this point, what is best for you and the baby?"

She sat still for a moment before turning to Draco, "Who?"

"I can make contact with Nathan for you. It's not really his perview, but I think he would come for you."

"Okay," she nodded, "good."

"Will you tell Snape?" Draco shifted, "I mean you will probably learn the gender. Don't you want Snape there for that?"

"He is so busy with trying to get things sorted for the new year. And it will just get busier in the next few weeks."

"But do you want him there?" Draco pressed. "Or Hermione? Or Harry? Or Lupin? Someone?"

"The only person I truly need there can never be," Sarah stood, "I need to use the loo."

Draco reached for her hand, stopping her. "Tell Uncle Sev. He won't be too busy for this. You'll need him there."

"Okay," she aquiesed, but he knew her well enough to know that she had just brushed him off.

* * *

"Hi," Sarah clicked her feet against side of her bed nervously. "I wasn't aware you made house calls."

"Only a few select, special patients," Nathan said, dropping his Healer's bag down on her nightstand and pulling her desk chair around to sit down. "It's been a while. How have you been?"

"Well, you know, I got married, gave up my magic..." her voice trailed off and then she blushed.

"The one I worked so hard to restore," Nathan's voice was light, "what we do for love, eh?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Anyway, I traveled the world, gave speeches, attended event after event, it was a pretty big deal and then..." this time her smile was forced, "Well, it all fell apart, I suppose."

"I'm sorry about your husband," Nathan's voice was low. "He was very well respected throughout the world. It's a loss, but I know the most for you."

Her hand moved to her stomach, "And for this little one."

There was silence and Sarah shifted restlessly on the bed.

"You look nervous, why is that?"

She looked over to meet his eyes, "Magic makes me nervous these days."

"So, I've heard, which is why I was surprised you agreed to being examined by a Healer."

"I trust you, Nathan, of course, but even if I didn't, I don't really have a choice. The minute I resurface, the press, they'll be clamoring for news."

"The muggle press?"

"Both, don't you think?"

He nodded, "You are quite the enigma these days in the wizarding papers. And you were always well loved in the muggle ones I have followed."

"And this baby...there is no hiding it. They'll have a stir with it. And," Sarah took a breath, "the baby isn't safe here."

"Do you really feel that way?" Nathan's voice was concerned.

"My husband was murdered because of me."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I knew I had enemies still after standing up to the Dark Lord and defying him so vehemently. I had a false sense of security engrossing myself in the muggle world. But, it was only a matter of time. I polluted my blood and for that we are all suffering."

"Potter will catch whoever is behind this."

"But this child will still be discriminated against because of my choices, especially if he or she isn't magical. It is best if I make a clean break, but I can't do that, if I am trapped here," She paused and then shook her finger at him, "Draco put you up to a therapy session with me, didn't he?"

"I'm not a therapist," Nathan said, his smile small.

"But he wanted you to talk to me."

"Of course," he retorted, "but I would have wanted to anyway. You remember my philosophy as a Healer, don't you?"

"Yes, must treat the whole person," she let out a long breath, "How many pregnant woman have you cared for?"

"A few," Nathan said, "Can you listen to me for a moment?"

"I am listening."

"I mean really hear me out."

"I'm getting that alot lately. Do I seem aloof?"

"A little," Nathan said, "Will you?"

"Of course."

"I know you wish to be treated by muggle doctors, but I'm concerned about you doing that."

She frowned, "Why?"

"Bellatrix's curse. Have you forgotten?"

"But I got pregnant. I thought that was a good sign."

"Your labor and delivery might be much more difficult. We simply don't know how far reaching it was. We do know it affected things. You got pregnant with your first child easily. It took you much longer than normal."

A shadow passed over her features and she stood and walked to her dresser to pour her a glass of water. She took a few sips, putting it down.

"What were you thinking of just then?"

"The moments after Bellatrix's curse when I was in labor with Orion. It was excrutiating. And very frightening."

"I don' t mean to scare you," Nathan said, "Only caution you. You might need magical intervention. If you give birth at a muggle hospital, there would be no way to get you out of there without compromising our security if you need help."

"I don't think I can do this without Collin," she took a breath, leaning over the dresser, her hands shaking against the dresser. She took another breath and then another, trying to even her breathing. Her mind was spiraling.

Nathan walked over to where she was standing and took her arm. "Come sit back down, Sarah." She sat on the bed and Nathan took the seat across from her again. "You can do this."

"You don't understand. Collin grounded me when my fears took off. And I'm afraid of this."

"You have your friends and your family. They all ground you too. Lean on them. Don't go at this alone."

"You are right, of course," She nodded, "So, let's get this unpleasantness over with, shall we?"

"I see you are still an easy patient," he teased her.

"Of course," she retorted, sarcastically, but smiled at his teasing. It served to break the tension in the room.

"Your wrist then," he extended his hand and she gave him hers.

"I thought there was a spell for this."

"I thought you wanted to do things the muggle way. Now hush. We'll get to the spells in the moment."

He checked her vitals, measured her stomach, asked her several questions about her health and the baby's movement, before asking, quietly, "Do you want to see?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Are you sure you don't want someone in here?"

She nodded again, but before he could press her further, a knock interrupted them.

"Did I miss the big reveal?" Snape drawled.

"Dad," Sarah struggled to sit up, Nathan, moving to help her. "What? How...?"

"Eloquent as always, Black," he teased. "Draco, whom else? You should have told me," he scolded. "You aren't alone. I don't understand why you feel like you can't ask for help."

"You are so busy," she said, her voice strained.

"Not too busy for this," Snape said.

"But you had a meeting."

"Meetings can be rescheduled. Is her health in order?" he turned to Nathan.

"Looks fine so far. We'll know more with this next spell."

"I can do this."

"I know you can, sweetheart. You are quite capable," Snape's voice was low as his hand gently rubbed her head, "but you don't have to."

"I'm going to cry," she warned both of hem.

"Fine by me," Nathan said.

"Merlin knows I'm used to it after all these years," Snape retorted, dryly. "Don't be shy about it on my account."

"I'm not that bad," Sarah protested.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes.

"Are you ready?" Nathan asked, amused.

She chewed her thumb and took a breath, "Alright."

Nathan cast the spell and the heartbeat echoed throughout the room.

"Listen to that," Snape said, quietly.

"It's strong, isn't it?" Sarah murmured as she look up at the small screen which was projecting the video of the baby. "There it is."

Snape's hand was on her shoulder, squeezing it.

"Everything looks good," Nathan said, moving his wand over her stomach, "Strong heartbeat, measurements are on target, genetic results normal. Yes, she is quite healthy."

"She?" Sarah's breath caught, her heart beating wildly. "She?"

"She," Nathan confirmed. "You have a little girl."

"He knew," she breathed heavily. "It's what he thought all along."

"He was right," Nathan said, quietly, watching the baby carefully on the screen, double and triple checking the numbers for her.

"He always was," she murmurred, then asked louder, "Everything seem okay?"

"Everything looks great."

"Good," Sarah looked at her daughter began to put her fist in her mouth, sucking it. "She is precious," the tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffed hard.

She turned her head, but she saw that Snape was watching the screen just as carefully as Nathan and she were, his hand applying firm pressure to her shoulder.

"Dad?"

Snape turned to meet her eyes. "She'll be as intelligent, strong and kind as her mother and grandmother before her," he declared.

"Do you think so?"

"I know so."

"Because I can't lose her too," Sarah's voice was hoarse. "I won't survive. Promise me again- over and over until I can get it into my head that it is true."

"I will do everything in my power to protect this child- my granddaughter. You have my word, Sarah. I know I have failed you before, but I will not fail you in this. You must trust in me."

She nodded, silent sobs wracking her body.

Snape pulled her closer to him, his arms around her as she buried her head in his shoulder and cried, for she was afraid to hope.

* * *

"Harry," Severus grunted, ruffling through some parchments on his desk, "what are you doing here?"

"Severus," Harry looked grave, "I'm sorry to bother you. I know you have your board meeting in a few minutes, but I didn't think it could wait."

Immediately, Snape looked up to see Harry's grave expression. "I see," he said, slowly, "What is it?"

Harry walked over to drop a piece of parchment on his desk, "This isn't the first one, but it is the most gruesome."

Snape's expression remained even, but Harry could tell his distress by the clench of his fist and the slight clearing of his throat.

"I think it is time to push the issue on the wand."

"Do you think?" Severus retorted, incrediously. "What do you mean that it's not the first one?" he demanded.

"What I said," Harry said, evenly, "We are handling it."

"Clearly, it is escalating," Snape smacked his hand on the table, "When should we talk to her?"

"Tonight," Harry said, adamently. "I can't have her going any longer without it. Not with this being sent to us," he gestured to the parchment.

Snape went into the room adjacent to his large office, opening the door with his wand, "Mr. Malfoy, do you have a moment?"

Draco joined Harry and Severus in the office, closing the door tightly.

"What is it? The board is going to arrive any minute."

Snape flicked his wand and the parchment sailed from this desk into Draco's hands.

"Bloody fucking hell," Draco cursed, but forced himself to continue to examine the paper before sending the paper back to Harry.

"Will you talk to her?" Snape asked.

"Have you shown her that?" Draco asked.

"No, and we can't show her this," Harry's voice was adament. "It's too disturbing."

"She can know that there are tangible threats," Draco said.

"It won't be enough," Snape retorted. "Will you talk to her, Draco?"

"She listens more to you or Potter these days, Uncle Sev."

"She still listens to you, Dragon. You know that."

"She won't listen," Draco said, "not these days."

"You must force her," Snape entreated.

"You are the one who can force her into anything. Why don't you try?"

"It's too sensitive a divide between us," Snape said. "I have tried."

"What about Potter?" Draco turned to Harry. "You are her best mate."

"I have tried to reason with her, also," Harry said, "but I think she needs more..." he paused.

"a more forceful hand, perhaps," Snape finished for him. "You can spark her temper enough for her to use her magic and once she does, she'll reconcile to it."

Draco paused, frowning, "I'll have to be blunt with her, painfully so. And I may have to use magic against her. I just don't think I can do that, not after all she has been through..."

Snape made a gesture towards the desk, "Her reconciling with her magic could be the very thing that saves her life and her child's life. In the long run, she'll thank you."

"And in the short term?"

"I'd like to think that she can still be reasonable, when confronted with the truth. Will you speak that truth to her in a way that makes her understand?"

Draco looked up to meet his godfather's eyes. "When she was dying, I made a vow to her, that I would protect her at all costs."

"Did you?" Snape frowned, studying his godson carefully.

"Yes, I have tried to keep that vow, even when it meant sacrificing my own happiness for her."

"Wait a minute," Harry turned to Draco. "Did that include not contesting your divorce?"

Draco's jaw twitched, "You must not tell her, Harry," he said.

"Of course, but did your father make threats against her then?" Harry pressed, his auror instincts taking over.

"As you know, my father is cunning and powerful..." Draco let out his breath, "and quite persuasive to get what he wants. The threats were never explicit, but even the induendo was enough for me to follow his wishes. He would have never let her be and she deserved better than that in a marriage."

"You let her...us all believe...that you divorced her to ensure your inheritance. Why would you have done that?" Harry asked.

"It was easier that way."

"For whom?" Harry asked.

"For Sarah, whom else?" Draco let out his breath. "I got to be the bastard and she got to make a clean break."

There was silence in the room, all except the portrait of Albus Dumbledore, who murmurred, "Well done, Mr. Malfoy. Quite gallant of you."

"Stay out of this, Albus," Severus shot back and then looked over to Phineaus Black, "And you too."

"I wouldn't have dreamed to say anything," Phineaus huffed. "I'm just pleased he divorced the blood traitor."

Severus gave him the side eye before focusing his eyes back at Draco.

"Why didn't you tell _me_?" Severus asked, his voice low.

Draco shrugged. "Did it matter?"

"Yes, of course," Severus frowned at him, "You should have confined in me. I'm your godfather."

"We weren't exactly speaking at the moment. And then when we did again, it seemed like we had all moved on. And in spite of what you thought I did, we were able to make amends, which is more than enough for me."

"Did your mother know?"

"Yes."

"And?" he pressed.

"She encouraged me to _protect_ Sarah at all costs."

Severus sat down in his chair and put his head in his hand. "You should have said something, Dragon. I was unforgivably harsh with her, defending Sarah."

"She understood."

"Still..." Severus groaned. "I essentially ended our decades of friendship over this. I should have trusted her better than what I did."

Harry and Draco exchanged a glance.

"She knew your character Severus, wouldn't have allowed you to continue the friendship with you thinking that she had a role in this," Albus offered. "It was a risk she was willing to take."

"Yes, I realize that," Severus waved him off, "but I should have known better. I should have known something wasn't right. For as well as I know your mother...and" he looked up to Draco, "you, Draco."

There was quiet again, save the clock ticking on the mantle.

Draco glanced at the clock, "I perhaps should have trusted you better as well, Uncle Sev. I was angry. But we only have minutes before the board meeting starts. We need to get back to the issue at hand. When will we have this intervention?"

"As soon as possible," Harry responded, "After the board meeting."

He sighed, "Very well then. Now, if you would excuse me, I need to review my schedule for the meeting."

He left them alone, without a look behind him.

Harry frowned, "Is he going to be okay?"

"He'll get through to her," Severus gathered the parchments off his desk.

"That didn't answer my question."

"Since when did you care about Malfoy?"

"Since I learned he isn't the total wanker I thought he was."

"I don't know, Harry," Severus said, "but I can't fix this for him, no more than I can fix this for her. Now, if you'd excuse me, I need a few minutes to settle my thoughts before heading in there."

"Of course," Harry nodded, "I'll just go..."

"Oh, you can wait here, Potter," Snape said, brusquely, "I just need silence. Have a seat. We need to talk to Sarah after this."

"That should be fun."

"Indeed."

* * *

"Hi," Sarah stepped into Snape's office, "Did the board meeting go well?"

"Quite well," Snape said, standing to walk around the side of his desk to the front of it. "We have company."

"Company?"

"Hi, Sarah," Harry stood up from the couch behind her.

"What..." Sarah twisted around, "Harry, I didn't know you were here," she laughed. She went over to give him a hug. "What are you doing here? I didn't think we would see you and Ginny until later in the week."

"I thought maybe we all could talk."

" _We_?"

"Severus, you, me and..."

"Me as well," Draco said, arriving from the other room. "Hello, Sarah."

And was then, she knew that this was no ordinary meeting.

Sarah looked wearily between them, "Oh God. What is this?"

"Why don't you sit?" Harry suggested.

She crossed her arms, hugging it against her, "No thanks. I prefer to stand."

Harry reached for her arm, "I insist," he pulled her to the couch and pushed her down. "We just want to talk to you. Don't make this harder than it already is."

Sarah's hands moved to her belly. "What do you need to talk to me about, Harry?"

Harry looked to Severus. "Maybe your Dad should start."

"Okay," Sarah said slowly, "What is it, Dad?"

"I think it is time for you to take your wand back, Sarah," Severus said, seriously.

"This again?" Sarah groaned, tapping her fingers against her belly, "You aren't going to sway me on this. The three of you can't team up on me and get me to change my mind. If that is the purpose of this talk, you are wasting your time."

"Will you just listen?" Harry put his hand on her arm, squeezing it, "For the safety of your child, we need you to take your wand back and use if need be," Harry said, "to defend your life and the life of your child."

"Isn't that the whole reason I am a prisioner here- that I am protected?"

"You aren't a prisoner," Harry grunted at her. "Don't be dramatic."

"Oh yes, I am!" She said, adamently. "If I am not, then let me go home."

"I can't let you do that."

"Then, you can call it what you like, but I am," Sarah retorted, heatedly.

"I am trying to help you," Harry said. "Do you know how many aurors are working this case? And still...I am not one hundred percent certain that you are completely safe here. The castle has been breached once before."

"Nobody is strong enough to do that again," Sarah retorted. "I am fine here without my wand, which is the _only_ reason I consented to stay here."

"And here I thought you enjoyed my company," Snape said, dryly.

Sarah shot him a glare. "Besides, even if I did agree to have my wand, I can't use it. So really it is a mute point."

"Why not?" Severus asked from his perch on the ledge of his desk.

"I don't know how anymore."

Draco snorted.

"What?" she looked over to him, incrediously.

"Don't be ridiculous, Black."

"I'm not!" Sarah defended, pushing herself off the couch to stand.

"It hasn't been that long," Draco said, "and it is not like it is something you can forget or will away."

"I'm telling you the truth."

"You are standing in this office, of the man who spent years pouring into your magical education as did his two predecessors before him and tell him that you can just forget it? Do you realize how hurtful that is to him?" Draco gestured to Snape.

"Don't you dare go there, Draco!"

"Well, someone has to," Draco retorted, "You act like that he is in the wrong here for feeling a little put out that you would choose to _forget_ something that he spent years trying to develop in you."

"Stop it, Draco. Honestly, what gives you the right?"

"I am your friend, have been since we were eleven years old."

"Then act like it!"

"What do you think I am trying to do?" Draco reached into the pocket and dropped the wand on the table in front of her. "Pick it up."

She shook her head and Draco's hand retrieved the wand and sent it flying in her direction, she dodging it and it flying across the room into the bookcase, hitting it and falling back to the table in front of her.

"Don't be a child, Black," Malfoy said. "Take it."

"I will not," Sarah crossed her arms, "magic isn't the answer. You people always think it is the answer for everything."

Harry's wince was audiable and Sarah couldn't even bring herself to look at either him or Snape, focusing on Draco.

"You people?" Draco looked disgusted. "You are one of us!"

"I am not," she gestured to him wildly. "I am not. I will never be one of you ever again."

"And what is so wrong with one of us?"

"Do you realize," Sarah's voice grew higher, "what has been taken away from me by magic...my mother, my father, my baby, my husband...?"

"Magic took Harry's parents away from him, but magic was the means, it was the person behind it that used it for evil, but your magic isn't inheriently evil. Pick up your wand and make peace with it."

"I'm not going to do that," She shook her head, adamently.

"There are death treats against you," Draco's voice thundered, "Do you realize?"

"There have always been death threats against me," Sarah said, softly, "That is precisely my point. I want out and I was out and it was blissful, but this world just can't leave me alone."

Draco stepped forward to her, moving herself close to her, "And do you realize," Draco's voice was low, "That the same prejudice that is driving these people is the same prejudice that drives you now- only now yours is against the wizarding world. You are sounding worse than Potter's aunt with your slander against us, when many of us are working to make this world a better place for both wizards and muggles. You think they are better than us. And that's just as dangerous as the reverse."

Tears sprung to her eyes, "How can you say that to me, Draco?"

"Because I believe it to be the truth. You are acting with prejudice and it is completely against the character of the woman I have loved."

Sarah forced herself to turn her head and meet Harry's eyes, "Harry?"

Harry stood, "I love you, Paddy, dearly. But Draco is spot on here."

"God," Sarah's voice was hoarse as she forced herself to look at Snape. "Dad?"

Snape cleared his throat and then stood, "I quite concur, Sarah Grace. I am sorry if that hurts you, but you need to listen to Draco now. Potter, are you ready?" he asked, Harry.

Sarah's eyes widened, "Where are you going?"

"I think you and Draco need privacy, don't you?" Snape said, evenly.

"That isn't necessary."

Snape leaned down and kissed her head, "I think it is."

"Why Draco?"

Snape met her eyes and remained silent. He dropped his gaze and began to gather up a few pieces of parchment before heading to the door. Sarah turned to Harry, but he gave her an almost apologetic look and followed Snape.

Sarah crossed her arms again and scooted away from the table, "Draco, this is all quite ridiculous."

"Saving your life isn't ridiculous to the ones that care about you," Draco pulled out his wand. "Pick it up."

"I can't."

Draco pointed the wand at her stomach and it started glowing.

"Merlin, Draco," Sarah squeaked. "What are you doing?"

"Protecting the baby because we are dueling," he told her matter of factually.

"I am _not_ dueling with you!" she responded, indignant. "You can't force me to do that."

Draco reached down to pick up her wand with his hand and attempt to hand it to her but Sarah flung her hand out of the way, it falling to the floor.

Draco cast the first spell and Sarah had to dodge out of the way.

"I'm not as fast as I once was."

"I'll go easy on you, but it will be much easier if you would _actually just use your wand_."

Sarah grunted and Draco cast another spell, her dodging it again, and then another which hit her in the arm, causing it to itch uncontrollably.

"Draco!" Sarah squeaked, panicked.

"It will subside eventually," Draco said, "Defend yourself."

The spells kept coming, Sarah thrwarting some, but she knew she was powerless against him, especially like this. She could feel the panic rising when she realized he wasn't going to relent.

"Wait," Sarah held up her hands, "Let's just talk about this reasonably."

"What is there to talk about?" Draco asked, evenly, "We have tried to talk. You aren't listening. The time for talk is over."

"You can't just decide that. You lost the right to have this influence over me the minute you walked out on me."

"That's low, Black."

"It's entirely true and you know it. You walked out on me because I couldn't conceive your heir of all things! How do you have the moral high ground here to lecture me?"

"I never claimed the higher ground."

"You are acting superior. Know-it-all-ish. You are attacking me."

"And do you the think those same wizards who killed Collin will stop at hexes? The death threat Potter showed me was so unbelievably gruesome that he wouldn't even consider showing it to you. But maybe that is what you need to see reason! A good dose of reality."

"Me taking my wand isn't going to solve any of this."

"And if you refuse to defend yourself against my hexes, what are you going to do when they really come after you?"

"It's not your concern anymore. It hasn't been for five years. When you left me...I woke up from losing our child and you were gone. You didn't even tell me. Who does that? I woke up and I wanted you, Draco. I was scared and I felt so lost. What Bellatrix did to me was awful...I thought I could count on you. But clearly, I can't."

Draco stilled and stared at her, his wand flinching slightly in his hand.

"What?" she demanded.

"You are hitting me pretty hard here. Tell me," Draco titled his head, narrowing his eyes, "Are you feeling desparate? Want to push me away so I will stop? I won't stop until you take up your wand. And I am just as stubborn as you are, Black."

Her face flushed red, "Malfoy."

" _Take the damn wand_!" He sent her wand sailing to her, but she knocked it away again.

"I will not!"

"You even more frustrating as you were back then," Draco told her, grunting.

"Oh, shut it!"

He flicked his wand again and she had to move quickly to escape the hex.

The spells kept coming in her direction and out of desparation, she went behind Snape's desk, throwing the objects at Draco, trying to thrwart his attack on her, but she couldn't and Draco once more sent her wand to her, it landing on Snape's desk.

"I don't feel it anymore. I swear to you," she said, throwing a glass at Draco, it shattering against as Draco sideswept it.

"That's rubbish."

"It's the truth." She threw a picture frame at him and then another.

"Only if you have surpressed it."

"I'll destroy his room!" Sarah threw the decanter at Draco.

"That's something you'll have to take up with Snape later," Draco said, "I would love to see that justification of why his fully grown daughter is having a tantrum and destroying his office."

"That's not what this is!" She threw a vase.

But the next spell Draco cast, split a wide gash on her arm, causing her to gasp, the pain mixing with her temper and her magical instinct finally took over.

"STOP IT!" Before she could help herself, her hand was on her wand, raising it in Draco's direction.

"There it is," Draco murmurred, "Finally, Black. Merlin."

Her hand shook as the magic that she had surpressed for years began to awaken again with an uncontrollable force. She felt as if it was going to burst out of her.

"Ah," Jolts of light were sparking from her wand and she desparetly tried to draw it back, knowing it could become volatile after its years of surpression.

Draco," she gasped, "I can't weild it. Draco!" she was panicked, "help me."

Draco moved quickly to her, "It's alright. Don't fight it. You are clenching every muscle."

"It's going to explode, it's going to destroy hundreds of years of history," she had trouble holding onto the wand, it clattering against her hand as she tried to keep her grip. Draco moved behind her to put an arm around her waist and the other hand on hers, holding the wand with her.

"I have you," Draco said, quietly, in her ear. "We will do it together."

"I'm sorry for what I said to you," The tears coarsed down her face, her heart twisting in pain.

"We'll talk about that later," he whispered, "Focus on this."

"Okay."

"Good," Draco's voice was low. "Now, lets fix the mess you made. You have the spell in your mind?"

"Yes," Her hand continued to shake but Draco's grip tightened, steadying her.

"Which object?"

"The decanter," she replied, with a nervous laugh, followed by a deep breath, "Snape loves that thing."

"On three. One, two, three..."

"Reparo Decanter," they said together, Draco helping her flick her wand with a more measured hand.

Her magic surged as the decanter repaired instantly.

"How does it feel?" Draco didn't let go of her hand.

"Still wonky."

"Let's try another one then. How about the picture frame?

"Sure," She said and then they repeated the same spell, this time with the picture frame.

Draco released her hand, "Try one on your own. A powerful one."

"I'm not sure," she said, but there was no denying that her hand was now steadier.

"Give it a good go, Black," Draco said, "Your shield spell."

She took a breath, "Protego."

The shield was strong, dominating the entire Headmaster's office, lighting it up, the room glowing from the shield emitted from her wand.

She laughed as her magic danced within her, but it wasn't the pain of supression, but the delight of her gift making itself known again.

"Merlin, I forgot," she whispered, delighted.

"Brilliant," Draco murmurred.

"Well done, Sarah," Dumbledore praised as she wrapped it up.

Sarah looked over, startled, "I forgot we always have an audience in here."

"Don't mind us," Dumbledore waved us off, "thought that was quite entertaining. You and Mr. Malfoy have always been quite the unique pair."

"Headmaster," Draco chided and Dumbledore chuckled and shrugged.

Draco waved his wand over her cut, healing it, "Better?"

"Yes," she nodded and then leaned over to whisper to Draco, "Can we talk? Without an audience that can repeat things to Snape?"

Draco reached for her arm, "Come with me."

He lead her into the adjoining conference room. "We can have privacy here."

She sat on the edge of the table and nodded.

Draco leaned against the wall in the small room. "How do you feel?"

"Jittery still, but controllable."

"Good," Draco said, "A few weeks and you will be back in fine form. You have come to the right place. Snape will get your magic back in order."

"He is so busy with all his duties here."

"He'll always make time for you, Sarah," Draco said, "You won't even have to ask him. He'll just do it."

"I know," Sarah said, softly. "I feel like I owe him an explanation, but maybe I should practice explaining it on someone first, you know? I don' t want to further tension between him and I."

"Do you feel he will misunderstand?"

"Yes. Only because I'm rubbish at explaining."

"Go on then."

"You had valid points," Tears sprung to her eyes as she sniffled, "I was horribly unfair to Snape to turn my back on the things he invested in me for so many years. And I distanced myself from him- on purpose."

"Why did you?"

"When I first gave up my wand, the pain was almost unbearable. My magic rose up often. And the more I surpressed it, the more I convinced myself that this part of me was what caused all my unhappiness."

Draco frowned, but forced himself to remain quiet.

"And the truth is, I am capable of using my power for darkness- just like him. And that thought, it shatters me. Collin never asked me to give up my magic and perhaps, I was too willing, but it was because of what I knew about myself, I was quick to give it up. It was almost a blessing. And people were starting to see me for my power, not for me. I was losing myself."

"And Collin helped you gain youself back?" Draco cleared his throat. "Is that it?"

"In a way," she said, softly, "I didn't mean to become so bitter with the magical world. That had nothing to do with him...it was all me...and what I was struggling with, my past and who I thought I was becoming."

"And now?"

Sarah wiped her eyes, "I don't know, Draco. I thought my path had been made clear with Collin and now that is gone."

"Do you still think your magic is something you need to surpress?"

"Yes. No. I don't know."

Draco sighed and went over to sit on the edge of the table with her. "We are all capable of it, Sarah, especially since we have been trained in the art of dark magic. It pulls at you at times, you know that feeling. But we choose not to."

"Dad...Sirius...once said there is dark and light in each of us and what really matters is what we choose to act on."

"He's right. The Dark Lord saw your potential, but he never saw your heart."

"He did see it, Draco. I didn't hold back as much as I should have with him. I was too candid at times when I should have guarded my words more carefully. I let him in."

"He didn't understand it, though. And he saw the potential of your magic, but he never saw the goodness in it. The fact that you use your magic to better the world, to keep people safe."

She paused, "How did you see it, Draco?"

"Your power did entice me at times, I would be lying to say it never did...but it wasn't what attracted me to you. That didn't make you beautiful in my eyes."

Her face flushed, embarassed, "I have acted horridly these past few weeks."

"Yes," he said, winking at her, "it happens to the best of us."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I'll tell Dad and Harry that too."

"If anyone has a right to be bitter, it's you. But don't let that guide you."

Sarah looked down at her belly. "Sometimes I worry that I'm not going to be a good mother. I'm entirely too selfish and...Collin was so steady...can I even do this without him?"

"You will be a good mother, Sarah. And you can do this. You are the bravest and strongest person I know. Don't doubt that. And don't shy away from who you are deep inside."

Draco put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned her head down briefly.

"It's a girl, by the way."

Draco cleared his throat, "That's splendid. She'll be a force just like her mum."

"I'm not sure this is where I belong though."

Draco pulled away. "You'll figure it out in time. It's been too soon since Collin passed to make any life altering decisions." He turned his head towards her, "But at the same time, let Snape retrain your magic. It really is your greatest defense."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She looked down, a glimpse of something shiny catching her eye, "Merlin, Draco, is that glass?"

"It's nothing."

"Let me see," she reached for his opposite arm from the one that was around her shoulders a few moments earlier. "Shit. It's in deep."

"I'm sure I can ask Snape to get it out. Or mum when I get home."

"You can't floo or apparate with glass in your arm. Trust me, I had to do that once before and it was horrendous."

"It's just one piece."

"Let me try."

"Do you remember?"

"Yes, let's see, there should be bandages in Snape's desk. He always keeps them handy in case someone needs tending. Accio bandages," she flicked her wand and a few minutes bandages came floating into the room. "Excellent. Now," her hand shook only slightly as she reached for Draco's arm. He could tell for a moment, she felt awkward about touching him, before she managed to school her expression and steady her hand.

With her other hand, she reached for her wand, gently gliding it over the top of his arm and murmuring an incantation, the glass removing and fell into her hand. She reached for a bandage to apply pressure to stop the bleeding.

"There's a spell for that too."

She flushed. "Yes, that's right. Habit, I suppose."

"You make a habit of removing glass from people's arms? How many vases have you thrown, Sarah?" he teased, keeping his voice light.

"Collin would have had a conniption at that display in there," Sarah blushed more. "He rarely saw that side of me."

"Afraid you would scare him off?"

"He was made of stronger stuff than that, but I didn't want him to think less of me. Now, I know you have already seen what I am capable of, so I don't mind wacking you with a few objects."

"You were provoked," Draco said as she wrapped the bandage around him, taping it.

"There you are," she gently released his arm. "Sorry about the glass."

"Forgiven," Draco said, "Sorry for hexing you."

"Forgiven too," she cleared her throat.

They were silent before a voice pierced the silence.

"What did you do to my office?" Snape's voice rose from within his room.

Sarah and Draco both made a face as they made the way back into his office.

"Don't be mad, Dad," Sarah said, her flushed deepening at the stern look he was given her.

"Tantrums don't become you, Sarah Grace."

"I had to defend myself somehow," she retorted and then flicked her hand, the magic coarsing out of her hand, repairing the room quickly, wandlessly and without a verbal spell.

Snape reached out quickly and grabbed her arm, pulling it down, "You must pace yourself," he chided, but the added uner his breath, "Merlin, that's impressive though after all these years."

Sarah reached out with her other hand to grip Snape's hand on her arm. "Will you help me with all of this?"

Snape looked in her eyes, "You needn't have to ask."

"Good," she sighed as he pulled her into a hug. "Sorry about your office."

"I'll fix the rest of it," he said, chuckling, "You do have a bloody temper. I told Malfoy to provoke you. I should have anticipated my office would pay the price." He pulled her away, "You do look tired though. Let's go home."

"We need to talk though."

"Tomorrow," Snape said, firmly. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"But-"

"Tomorrow."

"Don't argue with him, Sarah," Draco said, "It never works."

"Isn't that the truth?" she laughed.

Snape gently eased her towards the door, "I'll catch up with you in a few minutes."

"Okay," she nodded before turning to Draco, "Goodnight, Draco."

"Goodnight, Sarah."

She left the two of them alone.

"Will you not have a drink with me?" Snape asked.

"Sarah fixed the decanter but the drink is gone."

"I see," Snape went over to a cabinet and fiddle through it before pulling out another decanter.

"I don't remember Headmaster Dumbledore drinking in his office," Draco mused.

"Well, Albus used this storage cabinet wisely especially after a hard day," Snape countered, pouring brandy into two glasses and sending on to Draco, "Sit."

Draco sat and took a sip, "Headmaster," he raised his glass to him.

Snape responded in turn, taking a long sip, "I need another favor- a rather delicate one in nature."

"Is this about mum?" he asked, bluntly.

"I would like to talk to her about what you said earlier."

"What good would that do, Uncle Sev?" Draco asked, bluntly, "Only potentially cause problems between you and Aunt Andi and bring back up something we have had to all tried to put behind us."

"I still feel like I owe her an apology- though I know that might not be enough to heal our friendship."

"Still, what do you think Aunt Andi will think?"

"I'll explain it to her."

Draco gave him a skeptical look, "Aunt Andi and Mum have a very complicated relationship."

Snape put down his glass, "Yet, still, I feel this is what I need to do."

Draco let out a long breath, "Very well. I will talk to mum."

"Thank you," Snape peered over at his desk, the white bandage catching his eye, "What happened to you?"

"I didn't quite manage to dodge all the glass."

"Did Sarah wrap that up for you?"

He nodded.

"You should have Narcissa properly clean it when you get home."

"I will," Draco put his glass down and stood, stretching, "How do you think the board meeting went?"

"Well," Snape affirmed, "though I am still concerned about our lack of muggle studies professor. It puts a strain on the staff schedules."

Draco titled his head, "Ask Sarah to cover the classes. The board will approve it."

"With the baby coming-"

"It would only be for the first term. Think about it," Draco entreated. "Otherwise, she'll start looking elsewhere. Give her a reason to stay."

"She has a reason- the threats against her."

"Yes, but hopefully Potter will get that sorted."

"Any leads with your father?"

Draco shook his head, "I'll keep my eye on him though."

"Good," Snape stood as well. "Thank you Draco for tonight."

"You're welcome." Draco looked at him, "You aren't going to give me a hug or anything."

Snape chuckled, "You aren't too old for it, son," he patted him affectionately on the shoulder before giving him a quick hug. "Take care."

"You have gotten so soft in your old age," Draco scoffed, teasingly.

"Undoubtably, but you have become a good man and I am so undeniably proud of you, Draco."

"That means alot, Uncle Sev, considering I don't think I make my own father very proud."

"I know, but you can't live for Lucius's approval," Snape reminded him. "Have a good night, Draco. Let me know what your mother says."

"I will, Goodnight."

Draco left, leaving Snape alone with the portraits. He sat back at the Headmaster's desk, pulling out parchments, to do more work.

"Mr. Malfoy is still in love with her," Albus mused from the wall.

"That will never change," Severus said, quietly. "She needs time."

"That she does," Albus affirmed, "They left for a while to talk. Didn't want me overhearing and telling you."

"Hum, that's interesting," Snape said, making more notes from the meeting to remind him of all the tasks he needed to accomplish. "What do you think that was about?"

"I think that was about you."

Severus stopped writing and looked up, "Me?"

"Sarah feels guilty. Draco's censure about her attitude towards you hit her hard."

"I'll talk it over with her."

"Good," Albus said, "And ask her about the position, Severus. And tomorrow, pull out the potions. It's time she begins brewing again now that she has made peace with her magical ability."

"Already had planned that. I have to give her a task before Harry tries to enlist her to help with the aurors now that she took her wand back."

"He wouldn't, would he?"

"He wants her back, but who wouldn't? She is a huge asset to the ministry. I dissuaded him, I think for now. But he feels like he at least needs to offer it to her."

"Hum," Albus folded his hands, "You should get rest. You look peaky."

Snape rolled his eyes. "A few more minutes. Did you harass Minerva this much?"

Albus chuckled, "Yes. She just gave me an earful back each time."

Snape laughed, "I don't doubt that."

He worked a twenty more minutes before finishing his drink and heading home to his wife and daughter.

A/N: Please review. :)


	24. Preparations

A/N: So sorry this is shamefully overdue. Unfortunately, working +small children who don't go to sleep easily has left little time to write. But the holidays are almost over and I am watching the Harry Potter marathon so I finished this short chapter. Hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter 24** : **Preparations** :

Snape quietly shuffled into the dark room, knowing the women in his life were probably asleep. He had spent longer in his office than he had anticipated, meticulously going over schedules, notes from the board meeting, discipline concerns- everything he had to do now as headmaster. The work oftened seemed endless. There was a small stream of light glowing from the couch, stopping him in his tracks. He knew he was not alone.

"You are so late," Sarah's voice broke the silence. She flicked on light, without a verbal spell, opting for only the movement of her hand. Her wand rested on a book on her lap, underneath the swell of her belly. "I thought you said you were coming straight home."

"I sent word to you and Andi," Snape said.

"I know. Andi went to sleep an hour ago," Sarah responded.

"Then why are you still up?"

"I couldn't sleep. I did try though."

Snape went over to where she was lying on the couch and gently moved her feet to the side, so he could sit with her. "What were you reading?"

"Oh, just some rubbish novel..." she shrugged, but discreetly moved the book from Snape's sight.

"That's too big for a novel," He frowned, extending his hand to reach for it then clenched it suddenly. "Sorry, instinct," he said under his breath.

"Oh, bloody hell, it's not a big deal," she said, tossing the book in Snape's direction.

"Advanced Potions?" Snape said, frowning as he read the title, "I don't understand."

"I'm completely out of practice and after tonight, I wanted something comforting and I just thought...I don't know...it's so silly. I shouldn't be brewing advanced potions anyway," she took the book back from Snape and flung it on the coffee table.

"Do you find advanced potions text comforting?" Snape asked, with an amused smile.

"Don't you?" she asked, innocently.

He laughed outright then, "As a matter of fact, I do in some ways."

"And that's why I find it comforting," she said, fiddling with her wand, "It feels like home."

Snape put his hand over hers, stilling it, "It's not a good idea to carelessly handle your wand," he chided, though not unkindly. "I know it will take adjustment to get used to your magic again and you don't want to cast a spell unintentionally."

"Sorry, you are right," she put her wand also on the table, "I guess I am more agitated than I realized."

"About?"

She bit her lip, "Lots of things."

"Care to talk about it?"

She let out a long breath, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me, sweetheart," Snape said, his voice low. "please don't. Draco was out of place to bring myself into it. We have already discussed this last December and I meant what I said then. You aren't a disappointment to me. You have never been a disappointment to me," Snape punctuated every word in the last sentence.

"Still," tears flooded her eyes, "I must have hurt you by shunning everything you taught me, invested in me. And it was selfish of me."

He scooted over and put his arm around her, "Please don't cry."

"You spent years building up my magic, my repertoire of spells, training it meticulously, only for me to say it didn't matter..." she sniffed hard, "You can't deny that part of you was hurt by it. You were hurt when Mum did so and you didn't spend years teaching her."

Snape spent a few moments, simply stroking the side of her shoulder, trying to choose his words.

"Perhaps...perhaps, it did feel like a wound," he finally said. "as your professor."

"I know," she took a shallow breath.

"And then to see you so antagonistic towards the magic that is such a part of you...a part of us. I won't deny that didn't hurt." He let out a long breath, "but the pang I felt at all of it, was nothing to the hurt I felt knowing that you were in the end...only hurting yourself."

"Can you understand why I felt the way I did though?"

"Of course," Snape affirmed, "It was natural for you to turn bitter. That wasn't what I struggled to understand."

" such as how I could give it up to begin with?"

"Precisely."

"It felt easier at the time," She confessed.

"And is the easiest course often the best, my daughter?"

She gave him a wry smile, "No, in the long run it was not."

He gently tapped her knee. "Don't punish yourself on my account," he said quietly. "It won't help and it is unnecessary."

"I'll try."

He nodded, "Draco wants me to offer you the muggle studies position to keep you nearby."

She winced, "He doesn't have to bribe me to stay. One, I have little choice..."

"And when you do?"

She struggled, "I wish I knew, Dad. I won't entirely leave like before. I can promise you that."

"I know," Snape said, his voice low, "but you must think of your future and the future of your child."

"It's hard to fathom a path without Collin."

"And I can imagine it will be that way for a long time," Snape said. "I know it is not the same, but when I lost Lily, even though I never had her to begin with, I didn't even want to think about my future. But the Headmaster wouldn't let me succumb to despair. You have been dealt an unimaginable blow. But you have to continue to move forward, inspite of your heartbreak."

"It's just..." she paused, "Harry offered me a position back as an auror."

Snape paused and then let out a long breath. "I knew he would."

"I'm considering it."

"Don't you remember how much you hated it?"

"I do."

"Then why would you even consider it?" Snape asked, aghast, his eyes searching her.

She turned her head to look at him. "Don't you know? Why did you choose being a professor when you disliked it so? Why did you go back to Voldemort when he returned?"

"You are afraid that your child will never be safe here with us."

"Of course I am...what if she is not magical? We'll be even more of a target. I must have the upperhand. I have to find them before they find us."

"You can't live your life waiting..."

"Didn't you? For all those years before Harry came to Hogwarts? Dumbledore positioned you to help, but you had to wait."

"Sarah..."

"Until the baby comes, it would be a consultant job. But at least I would be doing something."

"I'm irritated at Potter for even asking you," Snape scowled.

"And I am irritated at Draco to try to manipulate me into staying. And you going along with it."

"I didn't offer you the job, yet, did I?"

"Would you have?"

"Yes," Snape retorted, "only because I think you would be brilliant at it. And it would give you teaching skills that you would need if you decide to follow your dreams."

"What are dreams?" Sarah chuckled under her breath. "You and I are too much of realists to take stock in dreams."

"I want better for you."

"I know," Sarah gave him a small smile, "And I love you all the more for that."

"I wish to ask you to do something for me, then," Snape let out another long breath.

"What is it?"

"Whenever you can, try to be true to who you are."

Her heart twisted anxiously at the weight of what he was asking her to do. Finally, she said, "I will do my best."

* * *

Out of breath and exhausted, she took the extended hand, Snape pulling her up.

"For goodness sake, this is harder than I remembered," she wiped her brow, inhaling sharply.

"Let's rest."

"No," she shook her head swiftly, reaching for her wand in Severus's other hand. "One more time."

"Don't be stubborn. You won't be able to weild your full power for weeks, not to mention hold your own in a duel."

"I don't have weeks," Sarah asserted, "Again."

"It is not healthy for you or the child."

"We are both fine," Sarah snapped, irritatably. "Don't coddle me."

Snape stilled before replying, "In that case, your wand movement is sloppy. You need to be more precise."

"My wand movement is not sloppy," She retorted, adamently.

"It most certainly is. Swish and flick, Black. Swish and flick," he moved his wand, demonstrating the movement.

Memories of her first year flooded her and Hermione's coaching of Ron and Harry's wand movements. She giggled.

"What is so funny?" Snape asked.

"I feel like I am eleven again."

He pointed his finger in the direction of her stomach, "Just look down, Black, and you will be reminded that you are not eleven even if your wand movement is as sloppy as a first year."

"It is not!" she laughed more. "You are exaggerating. I may be a wee bit overenthusiastic in my movements," she admitted. She twisted her hair, "I just want to be able to defend myself."

"Then I suggest you stop being so frantic about it and apply the discipline of mind that I spent seven years of my life trying to pound into you."

"Only seven?" she asked, "Me becoming of age clearly hasn't stopped that."

"No, it has most certaintly not," Snape said, chuckling.

The clock chimed and Snape turned his attention to the clock, "I am late for an appointment, Sarah. Keep practicing. Lupin is visiting with Teddy tonight. Maybe you could persuade him to assist you in your endeavors."

"I will. Good idea," she looked over at the clock, "Where are you headed?"

"Visiting an old friend," Snape said vaguely as he reached for his robe which was draped over the couch.

He began to button and Sarah sat on the couch, "What kind of old friend?"

"No one in particular."

Her eyes narrowed. "What are you hiding?"

"That is none of your concern," He retorted, "just as if you choose to visit an old friend would be none of mine."

"Okay," she drawled. "I will stay out of your business."

"That's a good girl," Snape adjusted his robe, "Don't exhaust yourself."

She nodded, but remained silent, watching him leave. The only noise was the gentle tapping of her fingers against her belly, deep in thought.

* * *

A few days passed, the files from Harry and the Auror office coming through Lupin. Sarah poured over those files, looking for even a hint of a clue of what could be behind Collin's murder. She was getting no where though and as the persistent kick of her daughter in her belly reminded her, she was fighting a deadline.

She sighed again, rubbing her eyes. It was late, but it was as if she was drawn to those files. She flicked her wand to turn on the small lamp on the desk. She wrapped her blanket around her and sat at her desk, picking up the files once again.

Collin's picture fell out of one of the files and onto her belly. She picked it up and looked at it.

"What am I missing?" she whispered.

She stared at his face before taking a long shuddering breath and placing the files aside, when a piece of parchment slipped out.

Her frown deepended as she read the parchment. She quickly rose and walked across the room and opened her door, seeing that Andi and Sev's light was one down the hall. She needed to talk to them, but before she could, she stopped in her tracks by their voices.

"I just don't understand!" Andi's voice was loud. "How could you not tell me? This of all things?"

"Lower your voice, Andromeda," Snape commanded.

"No," Andi shot back, "I will not. You went to her without telling me, Severus. Why?"

"I don't have to tell you everything, Andi. You aren't my keeper."

"No!" Andi yelled back at him, followed by a thump, "I am only your wife!"

"Who is acting like a child."

Another thump followed.

"Andromeda!" Snape thundered. "Cease this at once."

"Lucius said that you have seen her every day for this past week. What are you doing with her?"

"Nothing like you are implying. Jealousy doesn't become you."

"Nor does infidelity become you."

Sarah closed her eyes tightly before backing up quietly into her room, shutting the door with a small click. She leaned against the closed door, the voices still carrying.

There were a few more shouts before the door to the flat slammed.

Sarah sat on her bed for twenty minutes, contemplating her need for help with the need to give Snape and Andi their privacy. Finally, she threw the blanket on her bed and then reached for her robe and slippers. She slipped her slippers on and shrugged the robe around her, tying it. She opened her door a crack and then slipped into the room.

"I suppose one of us should have thought to use silencing charms," Andi said, her voice cracking. "Did we wake you?"

"No," Sarah said, her voice low, "I was already up."

"What were you doing up?"

She shuffled her feet, "Trying to figure everything out."

"Did you find anything?" Andi asked.

"Maybe."

Andi patted the seat next to her. "Come take my mind off of my troubles."

Sarah sat next to Andromeda. "Are you aware of this?" she pulled out of the parchment.

Andi scanned over it, "I don't quite..." she stopped, frowning, and continued to study it. Finally, she looked up, "What do you make of it?"

Sarah shook her head, "I don't know. Do you think Dad will know?"

"Perhaps," Andi mused.

"Do you know where Dad went?"

"I don't know," Andi shrugged. "And at the moment, he is not my favorite person in this world, no offense."

"None taken. Snape can be...difficult, but...Andi, I don't think he would che..."

Andi put up her hand, "Don't defend him."

"But he wouldn't lie to you about something that serious."

Andi laughed, "Sarah, he is the most natural liar I have ever met. And it was a good thing- it saved his life. But now, I don't think I would even know if he was lying or not. I have trusted that he is telling me the truth, but I could have been fooling myself this entire time."

"I don't understand," Sarah frowned, "Fooling yourself how?"

"That one of them could change," she stood and then turned to look behind her, "Try his office. But do take your wand and be careful."

"I will," Sarah pulled out her wand and slipped out of the flat in search of Snape.

* * *

She found him in the dungeon, brewing.

"Dad."

"What the hell are you doing out of bed?"

"I have my wand," Sarah said, defensively, raising up her hand so he could see it firmly grasped in her hand. "And I needed to find you."

"How did you know where to find me?" Severus said.

"A hunch, perhaps," she retorted, not so gingerly plopping herself on the stool beside him, "What can I do to help?"

"Go to bed," Snape said, brusquely.

"Dad," Sarah put her hand over his to stop his chopping of ingrediants, "I need you for a moment."

Snape stilled at the oddness of her tone. "Are you unwell? Is it the baby?"

"No, nothing like that," Sarah reassured him quickly, "It's just...my mind is trying to work all of this out..." she pulled out a parchment and handed it to him, "In the files."

Snape took the parchment from her hands, reading it carefully, "But..." he frowned deeply. "this would have made..."

"Collin's death impossible. Yes, i know. He is protected by a binding magical agreement between us and the muggles- no muggle prime minister can be harmed by a witch or wizard. To thwart that spell would be nearly impossible...unless..." sarah paused, "Are we sure? Like completely 100% sure..."

Snape paused and then drew a long breath, "Not 100%."

"Where did the Elder wand go?"

"We used it to try to save your life and then..." Snape paused, "you have to ask Harry."

"You saw him die, though, right?"

"He exploded in a fireball- the spell rebounded on him, Sarah. To survive that...it is simply not possible."

"All of his horcruxes were destroyed, yes?"

"We assumed because he died that they were."

"But that's a pretty ginormous assumption considering it is Voldemort we are talking about."

"He's dead, Sarah," Snape said.

"And I am telling you there is only one wizard in the world who can thrwart this spell to harm the prime minister of Britian."

" _Child_." Snape's tone was exasperated. "Do not be unreasonable."

"I'm just...I'm worried. I am pregnant. It is not just me this would affect. This little girl is depending on me to get this right and I can't fail her. Not starting out."

"You will have plenty of opportunities for that in the future," Snape drawled, "I would know." His knife slipped, so uncharacteristic of Snape to create a mark on the table.

"Do focus, father," she drawled back.

Snape rolled his eyes and then pushed over his knife. "See if you can do better then. Thin strips."

Sarah began to cut strips.

"Thinner."

"Yes, sir," Sarah adjusted her chop and then began to put the ingrediants into the cauldron, reaching for her wand and stirring it, professionally, under Snape's watchful eye.

"What do you hypothesize?"

She let our a long breath, "I am not sure, because the only reasonable explanation I can figure isn't reasonable at all."

"Perhaps, you just need a break from all the files. You have been studying them over for days now and when you aren't you are constantly practicing your wand movement. It's at the point of obsessive. I am concerned. We are all."

"We?" Sarah continued to move her wand in a stirring motion, calmly.

"Harry, Lupin, Andi," Snape winced slightly.

"Did you cheat on her, Dad?" Sarah studied the potion that she was stirring, it simmering.

"Not exactly."

Sarah put her wand down. "What did Narcissa do to get back into your good graces?"

"That is not your concern."

"Are you conflicted?"

"I love Andromeda, but my relationship with Narcissa is complicated," Snape gently nudged her out of the way and pulled out his wand to continue stirring.

She nodded, taking Snape's empty seat.

She rubbed her eyes, "I have been looking over these files for weeks."

"A break. Tomorrow, you and I will go out."

"Go out?"

"Yes."

"And do what?"

"You shall see," Snape said, cryptically. "Perhaps, I need a break from this as well."

* * *

"Are we going shopping?" Sarah asked, curiously as they apparated to Diagon Alley.

Snape took her arm as they hurried through the busy streets. "I have potions ingrediants to procure."

Sarah's cape flowed behind her as they traveled, her hand on her belly, protectively. "I didn't know that you did that still."

"I figured since we were here," He opened the door for her and she entered the shop.

Gideon was standing behind the counter, "As I live and breathe..."

"It is nice to see you again," she said. He had been invaluable to her on the mission with the aurors in finding Yaxley so many years ago.

He opened the counter to come around. "Let me have a look at you. You are still as beautiful as that one time I met you."

She blushed, "You do flatter me."

"Did you return to brewing now that you are back?"

"Here and there."

Snape cleared his throat, loudly, "She is doing consultant work with the ministry."

Gideon wrinkled his nose, "A shame."

Snape pulled out a piece of parchment from his robes, "I need several ingrediants."

Gideon took the list, "Of course. Will you pick it back up in about..."

"An hour? Shall that suffice?"

Gideon nodded, absently, already flicking his wand, "Out shopping?"

"We are."

Snape lead her out of the shop, "One of your many admirers, I see," Snape smirked, "he didn't even notice you are with child.'

"Perhaps, he doesn't read the papers."

"Doubtful. Clearly, he was too taking by your beauty."

Sarah laughed, "I miss your snark."

"Andi has tamed me."

"Oh," Sarah laughed more, shaking her head, "Never, professor."

They walked some more, Snape leading her arm, "Where are we going?"

Snape stopped, "Here."

Sarah looked at the window and then at Snape.

"I think it is high time to buy my granddaughter some things, don't you think?"

Her heart filled, but she couldn't speak for fear she would cry.

"Come," Snape practically pushed her into the store. "We need a cot, of course."

"Where would we put one?"

Snape winked at her, "I had the house elves shift some things around. There is a small room now for the baby."

"I see," Sarah looked at the cots in the store. "I think I like this one- the white one." She looked at the price tag, "Merlin, this is expensive."

Snape looked over her shoulder, "Good thing you are a woman of wealth then. You have the taste to match."

She poked at him. "Funny."

"I'm buying it for you," Snape declared.

"Dad," Sarah protested.

"You are my only daughter."

"But, it isn't very practical to buy one this expensive."

"Why ever not?" Snape frowned.

"She is going to be my only baby."

Snape paused and then reached to put his arm around her, pulling her into her side, "I highly doubt that."

"I can't imagine..."

"You don't have to...not now. But one day."

Sarah swallowed hard, "Thank you then."

He nodded and moved over to the bedding. He picked up a blanket, pink with white rosebuds embroidered all on it, "What do you think of this?"

"Classic, but elegant. I love it."

Snape flicked his wand to send it to the counter.

Sarah went to the layette and pulled out a tiny sleeper and hat. "She is going to be so tiny."

"She'll grow," Snape said, dryly.

Sarah put down the sleeper, "Maybe we should wait."

Snape shook his head, adamently, "We will buy these things. We are preparing for this baby. She'll be here before we know it. Have you thought of a name?"

Sarah shrugged, "Not yet."

"You should think of one," Snape insisted. "Make a list of some sort."

"I will take that under advisement," Sarah gave him a small smile, "You aren't going to let me go to despair, are you?"

"I am not."

"Then," Sarah picked up the layatte set, "take this." And she reached for another onsie, "And this."

"Gryffindor?" Snape laughed, "That's doubtful. She's my granddaughter."

"She's a half blood."

"My point exactly."

Sarah flicked her wand again, "Then take this as well," she laughed as she sent Snape the green and silver onsie.

They continued shopping, ordered the cot, enjoying their time together.

When they left, Sarah turned to Snape, "Thank you, Dad. Truly."

Snape gave her a small smile, "You're welcome. I needed this as well."

"Will you and Andi be okay?"

"I hope so," Snape said, but he was quiet for the rest of the way back to Gideon's potion shop.

 **Up next** : The threat materializes...

A/N: let me know what you think!


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